552. Worse off, you actually sit with 3 other people for an hour tuning said beer bottle dominant seventh chord. Rawk.
553. You mistakenly spell it "spinal CHORD" on your biology exam (not spinal cord, as you should have spelled it).
554. You know the differences between German, French, Italian, and Neopolitan sixths. None of which are pizza.
555. You will travel up to 3 hours to go to a decent music store.
556. You own Eastman Wind Ensemble CD's. Juilliard's are better.
557. Your flute has its own insurance policy.
558. The idea of getting a car your junior year is wonderful because it means you can hang out in the band room longer because you don't have to catch the bus
559. You hardly ever refer to people by their real names; you call them whatever nick name they were given freshman year. (SMILEY)
560. All your non band friends hate you because the conversation always turns to band stuff.
561. No one calls your mom Mrs. Smith - they call her Mommy Smith.
562. You know the gross joke behind each sections band t-shirts. (Woodwinds Finger Fast, Trombone Kama-Sutra: we do it in 7 positions, Kicking brass, Rule one for safe sax: always use protection).
563. You have no idea where anything is in your room except for all your band music, drill books from all years you were in band, your concert clothes, band shoes, and both of your instruments.
564. Your sole basis for dating a guy is what instrument he plays.
565. Your band-mates all have band-related screen names
566. You can tune almost any instrument, and play excerpts from a solo of such, but you can't figure out how to type.
567. Your friends call you a faggot and you don't mind (actually, it's a compliment... and for non-bandies, faggot is German for bassoon).
568. People can ask you if you fingered your faggot today, and you won't clock them.
569. If you call the pit guys fairies they will hit you with mallets until you ring Bb.
570. You have attempted to ride the marimba to the football field, and it resulted in what you'd like to call "sport-related injuries."
571. No, the vibes won't go faster if it's icy. You're supposed to attach ice skates when it's icy, dumb-butt.
572. Bass clarinet players are notoriously short; about half the size of a sousaphone. Bahaha.
573. After marching band season, you never have to buy shoes again... until next year.
574. Even scarier than 9/2 time: a flag girl with an attitude and a rifle.
575. You have a year-long argument over which is a subdivision of which: emo, or punk, and then you compromise by saying that marching music beats all.
576. Low brass gets pissy because a bassoon, bass clarinet, and baritone sax are included in this unfair generalization.
577. You know that the alto sax is stalking the bassoon player, who thinks the quad player is hot, who consults the stationary keyboard player on Final Fantasy stuff, who is best friends with the bassoon player.
578. This is your version of the "Kevin Bacon game"
579. With the uniforms scattered haph-hazardly on a crowded bus, you can still find yours in the dark silence that follows a competition. Or party, either one.
580. You get bored in class, you compose music that is a variation on a variation of a re-arranged excerpt from a previously played band song.
581. You tell your friends that the guy you're dating isn't in band, you rationalize by saying: "Well, he plays a drum set..." but it doesn't help.
582. You have real debates about what drum major is hotter, and all of a sudden, you have to choose who your real friends are.
583. You seriously think of putting a sign at the middle of the bus, proudly stating, "COLORED SECTION" (of course, to indication that section is color guard only).
584. You proudly display that you're a band geek on every article of clothing, including underwear. Do they make day-a-week underwear with a new note for each day? If not, they should. That's gotta be some mad money.
585. That dweeby bass clarinet player is actually allowed to zip you out of your pants.
586. Being in extreme heat (or cold) for long periods of time is normal to you.
587. You notice the school bell is out of tune. (ITS REALLY FLAT)
588. Your parents were so sick of you playing your instrument in the middle of everything, they gave you your own practice room.
589. You get enraged whenever anyone gives you the American Pie joke, even if you've never seen American Pie.
590. You and your band friends all get together at slumber parties to watch band videos from the years before you joined band.
591. You are ecstatic when you find out you are getting new uniforms next year, but you feel a little sad and nostalgic, too.
592. You want to punch someone when you learn that you're getting new uniforms not next year, but the year AFTER next, when you'll have already graduated. !@#$
593. Your suspenders have so little elastic left in them, you have to double them over and safety-pin them to keep your pants up.
594. You have shoe-polishing parties.
595. You know that the cigarette paper and dollar bills that woodwinds keep in their instrument cases has nothing to do with illegal activities.
596. You go to band competitions you're not in to check out the hot guys in band uniforms. Rawr, or something.
597. You make jokes about shanks, bores, and lead pipes.
598. You refer to pieces you play by the conductor/arranger and not the title.
599. Singing on the bus after away games is called "Bus Choir".
600. Bus Choir kicks the actual choir's ass.