Only one--all the rest are true!
Two men were at a bar and one said, "Hey, I had my IQ checked and it was 175." The other responded, "That's a coincidence so is mine, what do you do for a living?" "I'm a physicist." Was the reply. Again came "that's a coincidence so am I."
This was overheard at a nearby table and these two compared IQ's at 160 and were surprised that they were both brain surgeons.
At another nearby table one man despondently said to the other "Did you hear that? I had my IQ checked and it was only 52." The other said, rather enthusiastically, "That's a coincidence. So is mine. What instrument do you play????"
Q: What would a musician do if they won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until it ran out.
A little boy tells his mommy, "I want to be a musician when I grow up!"
His mother replies, "But honey, you know you can't do both."
There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either.
What's the definition of an optimist?
A folk musician with a mortgage.
What do you call a musician who doesn't have a girl friend?
Homeless!
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch. "Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did."
You Might Be a Musician if...
your heros are Palestrina and Mussorgsky.
you can sing all of Beethoven�s Fifth Symphony.
you begin conducting with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.
you can describe two differences between opera and oratorio.
you can play more instruments than the average person can name.
you try to figure out what song is printed on cute music mugs you see in stores.
How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the light bulb and four to stand around and say, "Man, if I'd had his studio time, I could have done that."