The Laws of Performances
�After a concert, parents rave about the pop selection played and say nothing about the test piece.
�Stidman's Law of Doors
�The largest of the timpani is always four inches wider than the door to the auditorium.
�The Punctuality Paradox
�Give a strongly worded lecture about punctuality and you will be late to the next performance.
�Hatch's Law of Clarinet Squeaks
�Clarinet squeaks always occur in the most exposed sections of the music.
�Two Principles of Cymbal Cueing
�1. Cue the cymbal player or he will not enter.
�2. Cue the cymbal player and he still will not enter.
�Murphy's Law of Clapping
�If the audience can clap at the wrong time, they will.
�McMurray's Program Principle
�At least one name will be left off the concert program.
�McMurray's Second Program Principle
�If there are two ways to spell a name, the wrong one will be selected.
�Concert Pronunciation Principle
�If a name can be mispronounced as the program is being introduced, it will.