The Laws of Percussion
�Percussionists will consistently lose their music as a concert approaches.
�Corollary
�All parts will be lost at least once, and percussionists will not admit to losing any music until they are caught faking the parts.
�The Uncertainty Principle
�The location of all auxiliary percussion instruments cannot be known simultaneously.
�Corollary
�If a lost percussion item is found, another will disappear.
�Law of Lost Drumsticks
�Percussionists will lose sticks.
�Corollaries
�1. Percussionists always claim the sticks were stolen.
�2. The lost sticks will be found the day after new ones are bought.