The Laws Of Rehearsals
�Players late for rehearsal are always those who sit in the center of the band.
�Missing Mute Principle
�At least one mute will vanish from the brass section at any rehearsal.
�Extended Rest Theorem
�The longer the rests, the less likely a section will enter after them.
�The "There's Another Hole in the Dam" Principle
�Fix one spot in the music and another spot falls apart.
�Premature Deafness Ratio
�A conductor's hearing loss is directly proportional to how many percussionists are started each year.
�Reely's Adaptation of Rap's Law of Inanimate Reproduction
�If you take a music stand down and put it up enough times, eventually you will have two of them.
�Murphy's Music Stand Principle
�The music stand you get will wobble.
�Communication Principle
�When a conductor gives students letters for parents, 15% will be left on music stands, 25% will be inside the music, 15% will rot in instrument cases, 15% will be left in lockers, 15% will crawl under the student's bed, and 15% of the parents will receive the letter.
�Blind Lead the Blind Principle
�Band members playing correctly will always follow the players who are playing incorrectly.
�Say It Again Sam Law
�Even if everything is explained perfectly, there will still be a question.
�Corollary
�You will have just answered the question one minute before it was asked.
�Lost and Found Principle of Music Folders
�At least one music folder will be left on a music stand after each rehearsal.
�Corollaries
�1. It will usually be the same player.
�2. If it is not the same player, there will be no name in the folder.
�Alternate Amnesia Axiom
�Any alternate fingerings taught will be promptly forgotten.