Flute Brains $1/lb
Tuba Brains $10/lb
Percussion Brains $5/lb
Clarinet Brains $100/lb
He asks the butcher why clarinet brains are so expensive. The butcher replied, "Do you know how many clarinets you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"
Q: How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose!
Q: What do you get when you cross a piccolo and a clarinet?
A: An earache.
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up an onion! (I would cry if someone chopped up Clarence, aka, my clarinet. Yes, I have named my instrument and you should be ashamed if you haven't!)
Q: Why do clarinetists put their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces. (cruel)
Q: Why do oboists put their oboes in clarinet cases?
A: So they won't get stolen! (cruel squared)
Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do a clarinet and a law suit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed. (that's just cold)
Q: If most musicians are either high or low, what does that make an orchestral third clarinetist?
A: Confused.