journal

may 26, 2003

i guess i really am not so vocal looking at the date i last wrote anything here. and now that i'm faced with the task again, i can't seem to remember much. as of the moment, i'm still looking for work. weight: 118 lbs. sleep: 4-6 hours. coffee: 0... that's it! i need some coffee.

may 8, 2003

I don�t think I�m really vocal with my thoughts. I prefer being silent reminiscing about how life happens to everyone and everything over telling a story about a fieldtrip at the zoo; though some of my friends could say that I can be quite talkative. Thing is, perhaps I�m often just trying to entertain, or to a point, be funny. And that is one of the reasons why I never really intended to make this website personal. I really just wanted to learn the craft and art of it. But since I found myself not having anything to post here, I figured that I might as well write a thing or two. None of the things I write here have to be right; claiming them to be absolute truths would be the last thing I would do.

Perhaps another reason is that I put such a high standard on myself and the things that I do. I often push myself to the limits to outdo myself, to keep reinventing, be more creative, be original, not plain and ordinary; so every word I write passes through a tunnel of scrutiny from myself not knowing the great amount of time I waste on early editing. But the fact is, I�m very ordinary; and I have learned to accept that fact and work on it from there. That explains why there�s something to read here.

I have Tristan to thank for the realization of this site. It was he who taught me to link pages, and actually get something started.

It�s almost morning and I�m getting nostalgic all of a sudden, imagining my friends retiring from the day�s work. Friends I grew up and learned life with. For the past days, I�ve been helping out my friends with their errands since I�m out of work at the moment, and I had the privilege of being part of their lives again. I was thinking, perhaps there�s a reason I�m not employed at the moment: and that is so I can be where my friends need me. Situations are always, I think, half-fate, half-of-what-we-make-it. Soon I will get a job and be available to them in a different way, but for now I am fulfilled being around and on-call.

Journal

hmn..