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Carter.

Oh, crap�

Jack took two steps back and sank to his navel in the water, as the mucky river bottom shifted beneath his feet.

Definitely not one of my better ideas�

A certain USAF Major stood on the mossy bank and scanned the moonlit water with one hand shading her eyes. The sole satellite of this misbegotten mudball was out full. Bathing the slow moving water in a milky glow, and casting fuzzy shadows amid the spindly trees that marched along both sides of the waterway.

Should I say something? She�s sure to spot me in the next thirty seconds or so�

He grimaced in silent frustration. It was Carter�s fault after all, if she found him here.

Naked�

Jack swallowed hard. It was her fault. Carter just had to study the alien gizmo Jonas� had spotted via binoculars in a crumbled temple. A ruin located in the densest bit of jungle SG-1 had encountered in years. In an area of heavy foliage that appeared deceptively solid at first glance, but grew rapidly soggier as they progressed to what they thought was a stable, albeit rickety, causeway.

Yup, her fault.

Not that it mattered given his current predicament. Jack stepped back further, and sank to his nipples.

Shit, that�s cold!

It wasn�t really. No more than the mud had been as it clung to his boots and climbed up his pants legs. After much swearing and panting he had dislodged himself from the mud with Teal�c�s help. Jonas suggested a swim to wash the caked soil from his body and clothes. Initially, he had resisted the idea. A shower when they got back would be soon enough. Who knew what kinds of critters called this happy hellhole their own. As the mud dried however, he began to itch. Retrieval of the object, at the expense of his near submersion, had caused both Carter and Jonas to become more than a little excited. Unfortunately for him, their exuberance had taken up the afternoon and prevented a return to the Gate until tomorrow morning.

Jack groaned inwardly at the memory, as the Major continued to peer through the trees.

The itching had grown worse and worse until he was forced to slither from his sleeping bag and chance a dunk in the river. Better to be eaten than to loose half his skin for lake of cortisone!

What the hell was I thinking?

You weren�t, his subconscious pointed out.

Being Carter�s CO frequently lead to mental lapses, he had noticed. Blame it on age. Blame it on premature dementia�

Blame it on Carter�s svelte body firmly ensconced in green BDUs. Did the top brass know how damn sexy standard issue clothing could be, given the right filling?

The �filling� in question had begun to fidget a bit. Half hidden beneath the trees he could only imagine the pout on her full lips as she swiveled in place. He took another step and sank immediately to his neck.

This might not be a good thing�

The bottom gave way and he fell backwards, trying to catch his balance. �Son of a�.� Words bubbled beneath the water and he sputtered and coughed as he struggled to regain his footing.

�Sir?�

Jack coughed again and sucked in another mouthful of water. He choked and thrashed out of his hiding place beneath the shade of a large overhanging branch. �Carter,� gasp, �What are you doing here?�

She moved along the bank, closer to his position and out of the concealing trees.

Damn.

He cleared his throat and planted his feet firmly on the bottom of the river. A hidden rock dug into his heel. He winced, and swallowed a yelp as pain shot through his foot.

�I woke up and saw you were gone�� She took another step.

Damn�

�Your turn to baby-sit?� he quipped in a vain attempt at distraction.

She smiled softly, seeming only mildly embarrassed by their circumstances.

Damn again�

The moonlight caressed her soft cheeks and played smudgy shadows around her upturned lips. Her eyes were large and gleaming with mischief as she watched him standing uncertainly in the current. �Something like that.�

�You could throw me a towel,� he suggested half-heartedly.

�I could�� her voice trailed off suggestively.

Jack glanced down, mildly amazed at the instant reaction his body had to the dangling remark.

Okay, I�m too old for this but�

He looked up again and his breath caught in his throat, as Carter settled on a moss covered boulder near the water�s edge. His clothes were thrown over a line strung between two trees. Pants legs dangled just above her head, the breeze gently swaying them. The clothing brushed at the top of her hair. She reached up and fingered the material, her eyes never wavering from his. With a sigh, she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, cupping her chin in her palm. �They�re still damp,� she murmured.

�Uh huh.�

Jack looked down again. He trailed a hand through the slow moving water, searching in vain for something to say. Nothing came to mind and he raised his eyes. Intending to ask her, order her, to throw him the towel that rested on the boulder right next to her right hip.

No, don�t go there�

His mouth was hanging open and he closed it with an audible snap. The breeze was ruffling her hair, raising the flaxen strands and tossing them gently about her round face. She ran one lazy finger along her lower lip and allowed her eyes to roam over his now shivering body. He felt his nipples harden and forced himself to meet her traveling gaze, as other parts of his anatomy took their cue.

Oh God�

No, this wasn�t one of my better ideas�

Carter gasped and sat back suddenly. Her hand strayed to her hip and pulled the Zat free with one smooth motion. �Sir! Behind you!�

�Carter!� he protested in exasperation. �I didn�t just fall off a turnip truck�� Wait, what the hell am I saying? All sorts of interesting thoughts began to tumble through his mind.

She shook her head and pointed. �I�m not kidding, Sir!�

He spun and gasped in shock at the ripple of water that was moving steadily towards him from the opposite bank.

Crap!

Screw modesty. There was no way in hell he was losing his anatomy to some aquatic critter with a taste for flesh. Jack pushed off the soggy bottom of the river and stroked rapidly for shore. A glance told him the intruder had slowed its approach and begun a lazy meandering pattern. He did not hesitate there was no telling when it would change its miniscule mind. The bottom rose abruptly and he clambered onto the land and stood dripping in front of his 2IC.

Naked.

Shit�

Carter was staring the length of his moonlit body an expression of combined horror, and what he hoped was barely concealed appreciation, on her pale features. The water splashed and burbled behind him and he spun, falling instinctively into a defensive crouch.

Jonas?

�SON OF A BITCH!�