First up on my target list are tight jeans. Whereas two years ago, baggy jeans were the trend, they were so because they were comfortable to ride in (despite getting the occasional bit of chain snag). I was part of this trend, admittedly, yet I am proud to say i still wear baggy jeans. However, some completely non-individualistic clones decided that Jimmy Levan ought to be shamelessly emulated, and like everything else on this mortal planet, 'fashion' moved on. And it adopted the tight jeans. And still had the nerve to reason that they were comfortable to ride in. HOW CAN WEARING A PAIR OF JEANS SO TIGHT THAT YOU CAN SEE YOUR KNOB IN THEM BE COMFORTABLE?! It's ridiculous to suggest that they are, because one step-thru and kkrrrrrriiiiiiiip, you've got a spilt larger than the San Andreas Fault running up your arse. That's one down.
Next up are tight t-shirts. Now, I can see some logic behind this, because it doesn't really limit you like jeans would. But when T-shirts become so tight I can see your armpits and nipples plain as day, I begin to question whether or not you should be wearing Dolce and Gabanna, and calling everyone 'dahling'. Point made.
But finally, my pet hate is pink. Some riders, once again, Jimmy Levan in particular, pioneered the pink items on the bike, and fair play to them, because it looks wierd and individual (at least it DID), like Mike Aitken's camo forks, and Brian Terada's white forks. However, it was emulated, like the other styles mentioned above. And when asked to justify their pink cable, or grips, or bars, or tight t-shirt logos, or Vans TNT's, they say, 'because it looks punk rock'. WHAT THE FRIGGING HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! PINK WAS ONLY PUNK ON THE FRONT OF A FEW SOUTH CALIFORNIA PUNK BANDS' ALBUM COVERS, JERKOFF! YOU WANT A REAL PUNK COLOUR, THEN TRY BLACK. It worked for the Ramones, Amen, Rancid etc, so why the hell can't it work for you? It;'s not punk rock, it's a girls colour.
So, what we have come to now, is a rage against the BMX fashion machine. However, is the rage that I displayed becoming park of BMX fashion now? After all, in a recent Ride BMX magazine interview, Joe 'Butcher' Kowalski made some very similar points to the ones I have made. Only difference being he's a well respected rider and computer games character, and I'm a 16 year old bum with nothing better to do than slag people off. I've wasted my life. Choose to listen to me or not, whatever, just dont be another trend.....