�I�m coming!� She shouted down. The five year old boy at the top of the stairs threw one leg over the banister, and slid down backwards, making airplane noises. Zac grabbed him before he flew off the end.

�Taylor, if I tell you one more time not to slide down the banister, you�re grounded.� Zac said to the little boy.

�Come on, Dad� I was just having some fun,� he reasoned.

�I�ve told you a hundred times: if you�re going to slide down the banister, I go first.� Zac smiled at his son. �Now go get in the car.� He tapped the boy�s butt as he ran off.

�Becca!�

�All right, all right,� she said coming down the stairs. Zac watched her walk down the stairs; it was strange to see her pregnant again after five years. She was five months along � a baby girl this time.

�You look beautiful.� He said, kissing her.

�I�m wearing a maternity sweater, and maternity dress pants, Zachary. I look like a balloon.�

�Stop it,� he smiled, hugging her from behind. He kissed her neck. �Come on, they�re expecting us between five and six, and I still have to make a stop.� She slung her purse over her shoulder, and followed him out the front door, closing it behind her.

Zac pulled the car to a stop on one of the roads that led through the cemetery. He knew the grassy hill well; just on the other side his brother was buried. Rebecca looked at her husband�s face; he had a solemn look on his face that was seldom seen � only when they were here, or talked about his brother. There was a sadness that washed over him; there was an emptiness in his eyes that went straight to his very heart and soul, and a deep longing to change the painful past.

�Zac� you�ve done this every year for the ten years I�ve known you.� She said softly.

�I did it the four years before you knew me, too. I�ll do it until the day I�m buried next to him.� He said.

�Dad!� Their son hollered from the backseat. �Don�t say that.� He never liked when his father talked about death.

�Sorry, Tay,� he apologized.

�I know this hurts you, so much� so why do you do it?� She asked him quietly.

�Because he�s � was � my brother, and I love him. I miss him, and it�s his birthday, so I visit.�

�You visit him at least once a week.� She said.

�I like to,� he replied. �I won�t be too long.� He leaned over and kissed her, and got out of the car.

�Zac, wait.� She unbuckled her seatbelt. �Taylor, unbuckle. Come on.� Zac looked at her questioningly. �We�re coming too.� Zac took little Taylor�s hand in one of his, and his wife�s with his other hand, and they walked over the grassy hill together. Taylor held a small bouquet of flowers in his free hand.

They stood in front of the grey marble headstone, his eyes fixed on the engraving:

�Why don�t you sing, Dad?� Taylor asked him, once he�s stood up from where he knelt. Zac looked down at his son, who resembled him but Taylor even more, in an uncanny way. He had bright blue eyes.

�No, Taylor. I stopped singing a long time ago.� He said, the tears now burning his eyes terribly, and the lump in his throat becoming painful.

�Come on,� Becca said softly. �Let�s go.� They started away, and he stopped and looked back.

�Love you, Tay.� He said softly. He put a hand on his son�s shoulder and pulled him close; Becca squeezed Zac�s hand gently, and he squeezed back.

�Danny told me to.� He said, blaming his twin brother.

�If Danny told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that too?� Isaac asked him.

�Yep.� Jordan answered. Danny snickered. �I�d take him with me though.�

�All right,� their mother scolded. The six-year-old twins looked at their mother, and they could see that she was hiding a grin.

� �Kay, Mom.� They answered in unison.

�Where�s Amanda?� Zac asked. �I haven�t seen my niece in weeks.�

�She�s in the kitchen with your Mom. She�s helping with the salad.� Marie answered, Isaac�s arm around her, smiling.

�She�s growing up fast.� Zac said with a grin, knowing this was the perfect time to tease his older brother. �You�re gonna have to beat the boys off with a stick.�

�Don�t remind me,� Ike replied. They all chuckled.

�So Becca, when are you due?� Marie asked.

�July twenty-fifth,� she replied.

�Picked any names yet?� Ike asked.

�We�ve� debated � �

�Argued,� Zac corrected.

� � Over a few.� She smiled.

�You�re gonna gave a little girl of your own in a four months, Zac. And ten years from now you�ll be beating the boys off with a stick,� Marie said.

�Please, I�m scared enough, don�t make it worse.� He smiled.

�Anybody know when our crazy sisters are getting here?� Isaac asked no one in particular.

�No idea.� Their father said, coming into the room.

�Mom still in the kitchen?� Zac asked.

�Yep.� He answered. �Mandy�s having a ball tossing salad with her grandmother.�

�Where�s Taylor?� Isaac asked.

�Down in the garage.� Becca answered. �He asked Mom if he could �play music�.� Both Rebecca and Marie called their mother and father-in-law Mom and Dad.

�He�s got a knack for it,� Marie said. �I�ve heard him down there before; he�s pretty good.�

�He�s only five.� Zac said. �He�s just pounding out notes.�

�Honey,� Becca said, looking at him. �You know he�s good; you�ve said it yourself.� Zachary nodded then. He knew little Taylor was good, exceptional for his age and no formal lessons.

�He�s just like Taylor,� Zac said, more to himself than anyone else. They all grew quiet. Then Jordan and Danny came running into the room.

�Aunt Jessie�s here!� They yelled happily, running and jumping up down by the door. As soon as she opened the door they ambushed her. She laughed as they tangled themselves around her legs.

�Boys�� Isaac started, �calm down.� Zac decided it was time to instigate some trouble.

�Ohmigod, Jessie!� He started jumping up and down with the boys. He grabbed hold of his younger sister, hugging her, jumping up and down, screaming �Jessie�s here! Jessie�s here!� His wife, and Isaac and Marie were laughing at his immature insanity, as was his father. The old Zac was showing through again. When he was through jumping up and down, acting like a child, and Jordan and Danny were through laughing, things calmed � a little.

�You�re a jerk,� Jess laughed. He calmed himself.

�It�s good to see you.� He said, kissing her cheek; she did the same to him.

�Sorry I�m late.� She said. �I had to stop and drop something off.� They all knew she went to the cemetery. It had become a Hanson family tradition to put flowers on Taylor�s grave on his birthday. The only one who never did was Zo�. She didn�t really remember Taylor that well; it wasn�t like she even tried. Jessica let go of Zac and hugged the rest of her family that was present at the time. She went to Rebecca and put her hand on her stomach.

�I haven�t seen you guys in months; Boy or Girl?� She asked.

�Girl.�

�Name?�

�Undecided,� she answered.

�Actually�� Zac started. �I like the name Dawn.�

�Oh, that�s so pretty.� Jess said.

�You never told me that,� his wife said to him. �Zac� I love that name.�

�We�ll talk about it later.� He said, lightly massaging her shoulders. Jessica put her ear to her sister-in-law�s stomach.

�Hi little baby,� she said. Becca tilted her head back and smiled up at Zac. Jess stood up. �Where�s Taylor?�

�Garage.� Isaac answered.

�I see. You sure named him properly.� They all smiled, even Zachary, despite the twinge of pain he felt in his heart. �Well, I wanna see him.�

�I�ll go get him,� Jordan volunteered, and took of running.

�Okay, now where�s Mandy?�

�Kitchen, with Mom.� Marie answered. �Amanda. Aunt Jessie�s here.� She called.

�Aunt Jessie!� Amanda squealed, running and hugging her aunt.

�You�re getting so big,� Jess said. �How old are you now? Thirteen?� She smiled.

�No. I�m eight,� she answered and grinned.

�You have to come and spend the day with me some time. It�d be lots of fun��

�Can I, Mom?�

�Sure; I don�t see why not. Just tell us when, Jess, and she�s all yours.� Amanda jumped away from Jessica and hugged her mother.

�Thanks, Mom!� She said excitedly. Jordan came back into the room, Taylor behind him.

�Aunt Jessie!� He ran to her, and hugged her.

�Wow; you�re getting tall.� She said. Diana finally came out into her living room, hearing all the commotion. Her face was grief-worn, but there was still some light in her eyes. This day of the year was always hard for her, this and Christmas. They could all see that she�d been crying, but no one said anything. She smiled at her family.

�Hi Mom.� Jessie said.

�Hi sweetheart.� She replied.

�Sorry I�m late.� Her mother shook her head.

�Don�t worry about it,� she replied. �I understand.�

�I�m starving, Mom.� Zac interjected. �When�s dinner.� Everyone chuckled.

�Some things never change,� she said grinning. �As soon as your other sisters and your brother get here.�

�Where�s Zo�?� Jess asked. Her mother�s face grew a little bit more sad.

�Who knows?" She said quietly. �She comes and goes when she feels like it.�

�She�s with her loser boyfriend.� Their father said. �She�ll be back eventually.�

The adults were seating themselves at the table, the children at a smaller table nearby. Avery and Mackenzie had shown up about ten minutes earlier.

�Is she even going to show up?� Mac asked.

�Who knows?" Walker replied. �Let�s not worry about things we have no control over.� Their mother didn�t say a word; she was silent. Grace was said, and dinner was started. Zo� was absent once again.

�Do you enjoy making our mother cry?� He asked her, closing the dishwasher angrily. She glared at him.

�Don�t start with me,� she warned. Her blue eyes were full of blazing anger.

�Do you like to hurt everybody in this family?� He asked her. �I don�t think you give a damn about anybody but yourself.�

�F*ck off, Zachary.� She opened the refrigerator door, took out a soda, and slammed it closed.

�You don�t even care, do you?� He said, as she started walking away. �Don�t walk away from me when I�m talking to you,� he said, grabbing her arm.

�Don�t touch me,� she said angrily, flinging his hand away. He stood stunned for a moment, remembering a time fourteen years ago when Taylor had done something similar in that very kitchen; he swore he felt his cheek hurting all over again. He stood looking at her, and she glared back � it hurt him to see the bitterness in her eyes, but it made him angrier with her. She stalked out of the kitchen leaving him standing there. In his moment of deja vu, he almost wished he was standing there all over again with Taylor � it would have given him a second chance to save his brother. The tears burned his eyes.

�Zac�� Becca said softly. �You�ve got to stop this.� He turned to look at her. She wore a maternity nightgown, her pregnant belly round beneath it. He loved her so much. How did he ever get so lucky?

�I can�t help it,� he said quietly.

�It was fourteen years ago; you can�t change the past, as much as I know you want to.� She moved closer to him, sliding her arms beneath his and around his chest. She knew he had tears in his eyes.

�Everyday� every single day for the last fourteen years I�ve thought about what I didn�t do, and what I could�ve done to save him.�

�Feeling guilty isn�t going to bring him back, honey.� She said softly. �You did what you could.�

�I guess I just miss him more than usual�� he replied. She rested her head against his back.

�But there�s something more. Isn�t there?�

�It�s Zo�. We had a fight in the kitchen today��

�Another one?�

�She did something, and said something, that reminded me exactly of Taylor when he was using cocaine.�

�What are you saying?�

�I�m not saying anything. I�m just making mental notes of some similarities.�

�Why don�t you come to bed?� She asked softly. He turned his head back to the window, his ponytail sweeping across the top of his back.

�I can�t sleep tonight.�

�Please try?� She begged quietly. He was quiet for a long time. He couldn�t close his eyes; all the memories of Taylor hurt so much tonight� He nodded slightly. He�d agreed to come to bed; he never said anything about sleeping. She fell asleep with her head on his chest, and he stayed awake all night, listening to the rain pounding on the rooftop and windows in a mournful tune.