Isaac opened the bedroom door slowly, and stepped inside. Zac was sitting on Taylor�s bed; he was staring down at the mattress and he had something in his hand. Isaac approached him slowly; he could see now what Zac was holding � it was one of Taylor�s cross necklaces. Zac just sat and stared. He stood beside the bed now; he looked first at Zac, but he couldn�t see the tears in his eyes, and then looked at the empty bottom-bunk that had belonged to their brother. His own eyes began to water.

�I miss him, too.� Isaac said quietly. Zac tried to fight it, but it was a losing battle � he felt himself breaking down. He stood up slowly and Isaac took him in his arms; they hugged each other tightly.

�I should�ve remembered sooner,� Zac cried. �We could�ve gotten there sooner� we could�ve stopped him.�

�Zac-�

�I should have remembered sooner,� he cried. �We could�ve saved him�� Zac was nearly sobbing; Isaac, too, was in tears.

�It wasn�t your fault.� He told his younger brother through his tears. �It�s not your fault, Zac.� They stood there hugging tightly for a long while, crying, and Zac clutching the cross in his hand � it was a memory of Taylor, so he was going to hold onto it for dear life.

The priest stood in front of the church, Taylor�s open coffin in front of him. The congregation was dressed all in black; every face and every pair of eyes were full of sorrow.

�We are gathered here today to deliver the body of Jordan Taylor Hanson to its final resting place�� After that everything seemed to fade. Zac barely heard the sermon, his parents and the rest of his family were crying � he wasn�t even aware of the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

�Is there anyone who would like to say anything?� His family looked to Zac; he�d said something before about wanting to speak at the funeral.

�Zac?� Ike said gently, touching his brother�s arm. He started a little, then looked at Isaac. �You wanted to say something�� Zac looked at the priest, and then stood up slowly. He walked up in front of Taylor�s open casket. He looked at Taylor and swallowed hard. He wasn�t sure he could really do this.

�Um� there�s so much� to say about Taylor. I don�t� I don�t know where to start. Until he got addicted� he was one of the best people I knew. He was� honest, and caring�� His eyes were burning with unshed tears, and the knot in his throat was becoming painful.

�He was one of the most talented people�� Could he keep going? �He had a heart of gold� I�ve never known anyone like him.� He was starting to cry, and he knew he couldn�t stop it. �It was a privilege for anyone to know him�� He felt a tender hand squeeze his shoulder. Isaac had joined him for some support. �It was the biggest honour of my life� to be his brother�� He lost it then. Ike ushered him to sit down. It was living hell.

Zac was in a trance when Taylor was buried. Everyone was taking this hard, but Zachary was taking it especially hard. After they buried Taylor, he started to shake uncontrollably; he was cold to the touch, and had a vacant look in his eyes. He�d gone into a serious case of shock, and it was a while before he came out of it. And even then, he wasn�t much better. The pain might dull as time went by, but he knew he�d never heal, and neither would his family. Nothing would ever be the same. Taylor was gone�

�Zac?� Isaac said gently. �Come on,� Zac looked at him. �We�re all going to see Taylor.� He looked at the empty bottom-bunk, and then at Isaac again. Isaac noticed the cross necklace that Zac wore � he never took it off; it was a piece of Taylor that he needed to keep close in order to hold on to some part of him. Zac nodded slightly and turned with Isaac to leave the room. As he was closing the door, he looked at the empty bed again�

�Zac?�

�I can�t go up there, Ike.� He said, tears already forming in his eyes. �I� just can�t.�

�Zac� I know it�s hard but� we have to let him go.� Ike said gently.

�I can�t,� he said. �Our brother is dead, Ike.� Zac said to him, tears rolling down his cheeks. �I can�t go up there��

�It�s OK,� Isaac said. �You�ll go when you�re ready.� He, too, had tears in his eyes now. �I�m not ready either,� he admitted quietly.

�Our brother�s dead� How do you say goodbye to your own brother? He was nineteen� nineteen years old, and he�s dead now. I can�t say goodbye to him.� He said painfully, tears running down his cheeks.

�I can�t say goodbye to him either,� Ike said quietly.

�I don�t think I ever will,� Zac replied, quietly as well. �I can�t let him go, Ike.� He said, looking at him, crying still.

�Me either,� he replied. Zac touched the cross he wore around his neck.

�Sometimes,� Zac said quietly, �I can still hear him playing the piano, and singing��

�Me too,� Ike whispered.

�Then I look at his bed, and it�s empty�� The tears flowed freely. �And I know he�s never coming back� that I�ll never see him again; and I miss him so much.�

�It hurts like hell,� Ike said, tears running down his own cheeks as well. �But wherever he is now� he�s OK.� Zac nodded once, and wiped his tears. They could see the rest of their family coming back now. They all knew not to ask questions. They all got in the van, except Zac. He looked toward the area of where Taylor�s grave was, and then up at the sky.

�I love you, Tay.� He said quietly. He looked at the grass for a moment, then got into the car. He tried not to look back as they drove away.