April 2003

Out-of-the-blue Email From My Sister (and response)

Extra good News FLASH from DC ??????????  
To no one's surprise there were protesters today in DC, they attempted to disrupt the metro system and block the Key Bridge, a leading artery into DC from Northern Virginia. I got hosed twice because I come in from NoVA on the metro and it is raining hard which makes traffic worse anyway.
My commute was long and arduous and only caused further resentment for protesters (but that isn't the point of this thread). Anyway, I'll get to the point. I got off my train in Rosslyn because I had to use the bathroom and the train was moving quite slowly. When I was getting back on the train, there were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, "Ma'am, don't you care about the children of Iraq?" The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my first husband died in France during World War II so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth your country. And if you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your a$$ and open it."
I'm glad to report that loud applause broke out among the onlookers and the young protester was at a total loss for words.

Sis,
Please don't send me this stuff, my dear. It's really not respectful of my political stance. I wouldn't think of sending you anti-war stuff because I respect yours. Thanks.
xo

I have no idea what your political stance is. (except that you like Ralph Nader and Tibet) It was funny, a joke, or don't you have a sense of humor anymore? Just what is your "political stance," so I don't disrespect it again.

Sis,
I'm a pacifist. I'm anti-war and I protest against war. My heart aches for the people of Iraq. I believe Bush to be a very sad, misguided individual and I have great sorrow for his actions and disregard. Even so, I try to have love in my heart for him every day, otherwise I, too, become a supporter of hate and violence. It's not easy to love someone who I so strongly disagree with. But I'm trying.
I'm constantly told how hilarious I am. I have a great sense of humor when things are funny. That email was one person's story about threatening to shove an umbrella up the ass of someone concerned about the lives of innocent civilians in Iraq, and the surrounding people cheering it on. I don't find violence amusing. Imagine a scenario where a protesting anti-war Democrat threatens to shove a picket sign up the ass of a flag-waving Republican. I don't find that amusing either. There is nothing humorous to me about violence, whether it is between countries or individuals. The wars between countries, the wars between individuals, and the wars WITHIN individuals are obviously cut from the same mold. This is why there is no peace. As long as there is war in the world or in our hearts, there will never be peace.
That's my stance. You obviously weren't aware of how offensive it would be to me, so I'm not blaming you. I'm simply telling you. Perhaps you don't agree with me. That's fine. I love you anyway. Send some Seinfeld or Paula Poundstone. That's funny.
I'm on deadline, so I really shouldn't be typing all this, but I felt these to be some important keystrokes. By the way, I'm writing a story on protest music. Really.
Love you,
sis

I would like to know why you think that The President is sad, misguided and has no regard for others. Is it that violence should not beget violence or that he is misguided about the atrocities in Iraq? What exactly do you feel that he is disregarding? I am really not trying to provoke you, I would truly like to know what your feelings are, what your information is and where you are getting it. Do you feel that the government lies? Do the people in Iraq not have the right to a peaceful existence without persecution, rape and murder, or is it just not our business? Have all wars been a waste of people's lives so the freedom to live peacefully is only for us. In an ideal world, there would be peace. But until this world is ended and Christ returns, there will be no peace. People's hearts are dark and cannot see Light.
If we are going to use people to be funny... Jerry Seinfeld took another man's wife and Paula Poundstone endangered her children by her addiction. That certainly is not funny. It is all in the way you see things.
I didn't know there was such a thing as "protest music," except for maybe... WAR, ahha, what is it good for....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, say it say it say it.
later...

Sis,
I can understand your desire to get to know my perspective on things, but discussing politics (or religion) is out of the question. I don't feel that you are coming from a place of truly wanting to understand me, as you are already contradicting me and pointing out where I am wrong (Seinfeld's jokes aren't funny because of his personal life?... there! you have proved me wrong). You challenged me years ago by insisting that everything I read is propaganda. Sending that email the other day was a poor way to instigate a discussion.
If you want to draw me to you, and not push me further away, please try loving and accepting me unconditionally without putting me under the microscope to dissect me. It should not matter what I believe in aside from love; this is the message of Christ. One day if I truly feel understanding and acceptance from you, perhaps we can talk about the world. Until then I have neither the time, energy or desire to do so.
By her own admission, our brother's wife tried to "get a rise out of me" (her words) last year with an out-of-the-blue email. It was ugly and immature. She also accused me of not having a sense of humor. When I asked her to stop trying to challenge me, she didn't. Sadly, she cannot contact me anymore. Toxic people have no place in my life. I know you are not one of those people.
Peace,
sis

I guess I know who you are now!

Sis,
Well, at least one small facet of me...
Love yoooo

*** ATTENTION ***
Your e-mail is being returned to you because there was a problem with its delivery. The address which was undeliverable is listed in the section labeled: "----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----". <<< 550 IS NOT ACCEPTING MAIL FROM THIS SENDER ... User unknown
Sis,
Well, at least one small facet of me...
Love yoooo

[This email was sent to my sister again through another address, manymanyfacets@]

to be continued...

March 2003

The other day, I lifted up my pant leg to flash the whiteness of my feet and ankles at a friend. Actually, I'm so white that I'm blue. Shall I put a thin layer of that fake tanning stuff on my feet, since it's still too chilly to bare myself to the sun? I see it as a public service. Like turning off my highbeams when another car approaches so I don't hurt their eyes.

Of course, the friend who I flashed is equally white. I know this because he flashed me back. I honestly couldn't tell where his leg ended and his tennis shoe began.

I'm not particularly fond of my feet. When I was a kid, my brother called me Lightbulb Toe. I imagine it's because my big toe is the shape of a lightbulb. Undoubtedly I wasn't the only kid on earth with this problem, but after some of the little jerks on my street started calling me Lightbulb Toe, I was convinced I was alone in the universe. I also have this bone protruding from the sides of my feet that looks kinda weird. And my feet are flat, so I can't run well. Unless a platypus can run well.

As an adult, I've discovered that, indeed, I'm not alone with my foot issues. My friend with the white legs has pinky toes that are halfway up the side of his foot. Looks he's giving birth to mutant clones.

He once told me my feet are pretty. I think his demented toes are adorable.

February 2003

On Ecto, one of my favorite music lists, someone recently criticized Nick Cave, saying his new album, Nocturama is too mopey, too repetitive, too wordy, and his songs are just too damned long. This person is obviously not a fan. He needs to take the Totally Nick Cave quiz before making such statements. As a Cave aficionado, I realize that Nick Cave's been going through a mid-life crisis since he was a sperm. It's just more obvious now that he's got Sting's hairline. And talk about moping and sighing, Nocturama is far less whiny and suicidal than No More Shall We Part or The Boatman's Call. Nick's a grownup now. He's ninety-four years old, his track lines have healed, and he's marinating.

As far as lengthy songs like "Babe, I'm On Fire," that critic obviously has no knowledge of Murder Ballad's sinister "O'Malley's Bar," which clocks in at a whopping 14:28. How many times does he say "La la la la" in "The Curse of Millhaven"? And just how black is PJ Harvey's hair in "Black Hair"? I dare say it's pretty damned black. Cave is notorious for his rhyming, his wordiness, his repetition, and especially his strife. It's just a Cave thing.

I believe the man to be a genius. My only complaint is the mullet.