Chapter 4
The day seemed like it was so slow. He was barely listening to the teacher, no matter his new interest in preferring to learn rather than to just ignore his studies. Perhaps it was his new dream - to be someone other than himself. To be at least somebody...
Rukawa looked back from watching the formation of clouds outside to the inside where the lady instructor was discussing about some advanced matter on the English subject. She looked so serious.
"Moving on, the next assignment you all would have is to do a 300 word minimum piece of literature on anyone or anything. This will be written in the English language so since we have just began to learn about how to write, this assignment would be due next month. I will give the details next meeting so for now, I want you all to start thinking already on what subject you would like to focus on. The piece of literature could be a biography, a short story, essay or whatever. It just has to be originally made by you. I would know, you know, if you copied it or let someone else do it for you. We'd have enough weeks together for me to find out."
The bell rang.
"Alright, you may go now. But Rukawa-kun, please stay for awhile."
The other students all stood up as they gathered their things. Some cast a surprised glance towards Rukawa but he paid them no attention. Grabbing his singular notebook from above his desk, he stood and moved slowly towards his teacher. Standing before her desk, he towered over her with no expression on his face.
"Rukawa-kun, is it?" The lady was in her late twenties. She adjusted her black-framed glasses as she focused on her student. Seeing a nod from him, she nodded back. "Oh, well, Sendoh-kun is your friend, is he not? And also part of the Yokaze Basketball Varsity Team. Anyway, he informed me that if ever he has to miss class and there's something important, I should just inform him through you. So, please tell him about the assignment, alright?"
"Yes, Natsumi-sensei." He gave a nod at her request, knowing that there really was no other choice. "May I take my leave now?"
"Yes, yes..."
With not another look at his teacher, he walked on out of the classroom, already expecting at least one student waiting for him. He noticed that this time, it was Yohiro, the smart guy in glasses who was a big fan of Sendoh. Rukawa could only guess sarcastically what Yohiro wanted this time.
"Hey.... Rukawa-kun! Sendoh-san wasn't here today, wasn't he? Heard there was a game... Anyway, I'm part of the school papers - "
"It isn't any of my business what you are." Rukawa merely spoke, walking away from the bothersome classmate of his. He was always being approached. Either it was matters with Sendoh or about his stay in America, they always came around to be all curious enough to annoy the hell out of him.
"No! That's not what I was saying." The guy in glasses sighed and doubled his steps as Rukawa's legs were longer than his, and thus his strides were quicker naturally. "I was wondering if I could ask you questions on what you know about your friend Sendoh. I just need his friend's opinion perhaps..."
<Friend?> Rukawa didn't really know what that meant. But he shook his head - almost unseen - at his classmate. "Aida Hikoichi. He should know everything."
"Aida-kun?" The other boy made a face. "Actually, I was competing with him to be able to produce the better story on Sendoh-san so..." Noticing that Rukawa was walking on quicker, he just sighed and gave up. "Oh well, maybe someone else. Rukawa-kun is always like this with everyone..."
Ignoring his bothersome classmate, Rukawa walked on at the hallway, wondering whether he should go on and tell Sendoh about the assignment already or to just wait for awhile since the game that Sendoh was involved in might still be going on. Looking down at his watch, he noticed that it was already 30 minutes since the game ended. The team might now have returned. So perhaps then... He should go check on Sendoh in the gym. Even though the mere sight of the gym still bothered him somewhat, perhaps it should be okay. He should try to progress himself. Move on...
Sighing inaudibly, he walked towards the gym. Left and right, students barely paid any attention to him, except if they were girls and they just had to stop and stare for him for awhile. Besides that, there was nothing significant. And Rukawa preferred it that way. Finally, after a few more steps in the hallway that was lit by the golden afternoon light, he reached the door that lead to the gym. Slowly, he pushed the door open and peered on inside. Inside, there was no one but a few girls sitting on the seats intended for the audience. Perhaps they had not come back yet...
Looking at that gym, an uneasy feeling came to him and he had to just close the door quickly at the sight of it, his legs immediately choosing to move on towards somewhere more to his liking. Without really realizing it, he found himself quickly leaving the building and going over to sit beneath a sakura tree.
Nature...
It truly was the one thing that made him feel at ease. It was a constant, something that could never hurt him. For it was beautiful and it signified nothing but life and its evolution. Nothing else...
Rukawa nearly melted as he sat there, leaning his form on the chocolate brown trunk that seemed so solid at the back of him. It felt like a post that held a house together. It felt like an idiotic sense of security for him. Damn... why must he feel so threatened everytime he was in the gym? Even last week when he started to attend gym class, the feeling was so intense that he had to cut class with the best excuses he could come up with. That he was feeling sick or that he had a meeting about his being a student assistant... But those reasons were false. There was another thing.
Even against his will, the
memory returned...
Coming to Chicago for the first time in his life...
After that long plane ride and after finding an apartment to settle in, he immediately enrolled in the closest high school - Gregory High. Despite what Anzai-sensei believed. Despite what his own rival, Sendoh Akira, believed. He had gone on to American soil to try to fulfil that dream he had made for a seemingly long time ago. Dreams of a little boy who at that point saw nothing but pain and death...
Now, he was in America. It was Autumn, just the season when school would start. After enrolling and after doing numerous tests, this year, he would become a Junior student. Today was going to be the first day of basketball practice after he had been drafted by the team once they watched him and other newcomers play. He was one of those accepted, surprisingly enough, even though he was unknown to everyone. But the coach was supportive - seeing him immediately as a good talent. And that was the only thing that mattered.
"Get out of my way."
Rukawa was surprised at the sudden push against him as the older boy whom he had just saw earlier on passed by him. Rukawa looked up only to see menace and anger in his captain's eyes. Those green cat eyes would one day haunt him forever. But for now, they held disbelief at him being a player in his team. Today, he held contempt and Rukawa couldn't help but feel a sense of dread.
If only Rukawa could have listened more closely to that dread.
Jake Blair was a rich kid from the suburbs. Even though he should be in a private school, he was too much of a headache there so his parents just settled for what he wanted. And what he wanted was this school - Gregory High - since most of his friends were here. Even standing away from Rukawa, he was very tall. He stood at 6'6" and weighed 230 pounds. One of the boys passed him a basketball and he bounced that ball on the gym's floor. Dribbling it as he looked on at the ring, he smirked first before nearly disappearing with his speed from his spot. Moments later, he was spinning in the air and making a powerful dunk that echoed all throughout the gym.
Everyone was stupefied. Even Rukawa's eyes widened quite a bit from the explosive display of power and finesse. If he didn't know any better, the older boy was already a professional basketball player. He was so good. And even from that one simple move, it was obvious that he was going to be someone big soon. Rukawa immediately made it his goal to one day beat Jake Blair.
If only he didn't dare to even have tried that...
Rukawa shuddered from the
memory, wanting that one simple first impression to fade away from his mind. Why
must he let Jake ruin his mind like this? It's been more than a week now.
Suddenly leaving America to join College here in Tokyo... He should just move
on...
A fierce shriek broke him away from his thoughts and he was thankful for that even though that particular shriek did grate his nerves for awhile. Looking up and focussing from the direction of the sound, he noticed that the school bus had just arrived, carrying with it the basketball players of this school. The bus stopped and its door opened. The tall players went out slowly and casually in their track suits, making Rukawa shiver involuntarily at what they made him remember. He shook his head at those memories and just focussed on the players.
Out came the captain first - Hidoki Shinji, if he recalled from Sendoh's attempts at chatter with him. The others followed and moved towards the gym though one other boy immediately moved away from the team and chose to go somewhere else. Rukawa wondered why he felt like he had seen that person before... But he was too far away to really make sure.
Anyway, Sendoh came out and new shrieks occurred, making Rukawa cringe at that horrible sound. Girls immediately crowded around Sendoh, their basketball idol, and asked for autographs and such. They also offered drinks and snacks to him while Sendoh only grinned as he talked with them. The sight made Rukawa snort softly as he just watched the older boy from his spot, his head leaning on his raised knees. Sendoh was such a flirt...
Rukawa knew that if he was in Sendoh's position, he would just say nothing and get on with his way. Fans acted as if they loved you but truthfully, there was nothing they knew about you. Once you're out of the limelight, they would forget about you too. Rukawa knew this very well.
The other players just laughed on at Sendoh loudly, joking him about how they too should have more fans and food. They were feeling mightily hungry right about now. Sendoh only grinned at them all as they moved on towards the gym...
Along the way though, one of the players noticed Rukawa. It was Akito Yuuto, the guy who was Rukawa's classmate in Geometry. He smiled immediately and turned to Sendoh while speaking in a loud voice since Sendoh's fans were speaking so loudly as well. "Hey, it's Rukawa-kun, Sendoh! I think he came to see you!"
Sendoh immediately stopped in his tracks, following Akito's gaze. Underneath a sakura tree, Rukawa sat on the grass, holding on loosely to his raised knees and looking at him. Sendoh smiled warmly as he sauntered over, now forgetting the fans who were all crowded around him.
Rukawa watched Sendoh as the older boy noticed him. Sendoh walked on to him and he couldn't help but look on curiously at that particular smile that his former rival always had. It mystified him in ways that only Sendoh could. A smile by a former rival and one who wanted to be his 'friend'. He wondered at that...
As Sendoh moved on before him, Rukawa couldn't help but see the glares directed at him by some of Sendoh's girl fans. Some were still chattering up to their basketball hero and crush. Rukawa couldn't help but wonder why they had to hate him for grabbing some of Sendoh's attention from them. He also couldn't help but feel as if he was watching something forbidden - something not allowed to him. As if Sendoh being so popular made him unworthy to be in the same ground he walked upon. As if events from the past made him so low...
Rukawa gritted his teeth and tried to calm himself. Standing up, he faced Sendoh.
"Sendoh-kun, your cake. Here it is... Please... Please, accept it..."
"Sendoh-kun, why did you stop?"
"Sendoh-kun, who is he?"
"Sendoh-kun..."
"Sendoh-kun..."
But Sendoh ignored them all as he looked only at Rukawa. "So, you came to see the great Sendoh, Rukawa-kun?"
Rukawa shrugged slightly, feeling uncomfortable at all the angry eyes directed at him. "We have an assignment in English class... Due next month, 300 minimum words, written in English, piece of literature that can be about anything or anyone."
Sendoh looked surprised for awhile before smiling once again. "That's all?"
"That's all." Rukawa nodded before looking on away. After about a second or so, he decided to just leave. So he moved his body to go away...
"Hey, wait!"
Rukawa looked back.
Sendoh grinned and looked on at his fans. "Excuse me, please, but my friend and I are going somewhere for awhile."
"Who is he anyway, Sendoh-kun?" One girl raised an eyebrow at Rukawa despite hearing Sendoh call him as 'friend'.
Rukawa ignored her presence and only looked at Sendoh with question. What was Sendoh talking about now? Did Sendoh need anything from him? It was the odd gestures again by the 'friendly' person in front of him. What would Sendoh ask of him now?
Sendoh looked around at the fans crowded around him once more before moving towards Rukawa. Thankfully enough, the mass that gathered allowed him to leave. "Rukawa-kun, you mind if you help me with my english? You know it's not a strength of mine..."
Rukawa, for one moment, was confused why Sendoh needed his help now when it was Saturday and learning english could be done in more convenient times. It was not that he was going to refuse. After all, Sendoh had been friendly enough all week even though he had not asked for such attentions. As he was about to answer however, Sendoh leaned in to whisper something in his ear.
"Just for pretend. Got to get away from the mob, you know." Sendoh winked.
And finally understanding, Rukawa nodded. "Alright then... Sure..."
And they walked away, leaving the fans with their excuse.
"Who was that boy who was hanging out with Sendoh-san? I've never seen him before."
"He's not a basketball player, is he? Though, he's tall, I don't think he's in any sport."
"Ah, I don't like that boy! He took Sendoh-kun away from us!"
"Hey, that is such shallow reasoning. I'm glad Sendoh-kun has a friend."
"Who looks gorgeous."
"Hey! Sendoh is more good-looking!"
***
"Those fans..." Sendoh muttered as they walked through the hallways towards the dormitory building. He sighed though he didn't seem tired about them, merely distant. He shrugged then foccused on the boy beside him. "Anyway, thanks for telling me about the homework. It's really tough work, I think. Imagine... 300 minimum words for a literary piece. And in english!"
"Then why did you enroll the subject?"
"Huh?" Sendoh wondered too. Then he just grinned nonchalantly. "I don't really know. I guess it sounded interesting at the time."
"Hmm..." Rukawa prevented himself from saying anything else. Truly, Sendoh had not changed. It was a refreshing thing to be faced with this person mostly every day. It was almost something he was getting used to. Not like it would change anything in his life but truly, it was refreshing.
"Say..." Sendoh spoke as he thought of his long reflection on the bus ride from Tokyo Super Dome. "You're not doing anything tonight or this weekend, are you?"
"Why?"
"I was thinking of showing you around Tokyo. After all, you are more or less a newbie here. A tourist perhaps!"
"This is not related to basketball again, is it?"
Sendoh laughed at the accuse. "No, no. Just something to do this weekend. And tonight. If you want to, of course. After all, I know that your only option is to lock yourself up in your dorm room. I've never shown you where I lived, right? It's not here in this dormitory. Since Summer last year, my Uncle bought a condo unit for me in a nice place in the hills. It's definitely a good place to be! So... you want to go sight-seeing, newbie?"
"Actually... I lived in Tokyo before with my mother. That was a long time ago though."
"Ah, really? So, this is a chance to know everything once again! Where do you wish to go? I recommend Tokyo Tower, Tokyo Disneyland, Akihabara District, some great malls and some famous restaurants. Hmm, thinking about it, I've never really visited those places for awhile now."
"Sendoh..."
"Hmm?"
"Sometimes you act so oddly. But..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Hmm." Sendoh wondered at that. "Anyway, you up to it? I get so bored on weekends. And I think it wouldn't be appropriate to go fishing with you. You might get bored or something. So anyway, what do you say?"
"I... Sure. I... have nothing to do too." Rukawa shrugged, although he didn't really understand this need for company. It was reminiscent of something from his past but since he was determined to forget those memories, he might as well start anew by letting go and making new memories in this new year. When had he decided that? Right before leaving America. On that cold hospital bed and seeing the unfamiliar ceiling of the white hospital room. Not that he was not wary.
"Really? You mean it?"
"I mean it if you mean it."
"Wow! I thought for sure there was going to be a lot of convincing to do!" Sendoh snickered. Rukawa stopped by his side and he noticed that they were now faced with Rukawa's room. He'd followed him here before. But Rukawa hadn't seen him then. So truthfully, it was the first time that Rukawa brought him here.
Rukawa fished for his keys in his pocket before opening the door. He paused before entering. "You can go in if you like."
"Sure." Sendoh entered as suggested, looking around at the room that was identical to all the other rooms of the dormitory. Last year, he himself had lived in this place. He'd enjoyed it since there were always parties being planned by his neighbors. Since getting his condo though, he was more solitary. The only ones he hung with were the kids from Kanagawa. His other friends in school were only his old friends from Ryonan like Shigure as well as some ex-girlfriends. He often wondered if it would have been better if he joined Tokyo U. Anyway...
Rukawa closed the door behind him. He walked calmly to his desk and placed his notebook on top of it. Glancing at his sudden guest, he didn't know what to say, never really having any sort of companions before - true companions, at least. He blocked the darkness of his memories. "You can sit if you like." He gestured to his neatly organized bed. "Do you want anything to eat? Drink?"
"No, nothing." Sendoh shook his head as he sat on Rukawa's bed. He looked around the room - at how empty it looked in its clean and neat state. When he looked at Rukawa, he found the younger boy looking at him in seeming confusion. Huh? Oh, perhaps Rukawa wondered why Sendoh chose to follow him all the way to his room. Wait a minute... There was something Rukawa should be doing now, isn't there?
"What?"
"Huh?"
"You're looking at me in an odd manner. What is it?"
"I just realized that it's supposed to be your Calculus class after English. Have you forgotten?"
Rukawa shook his head. "No. Our instructor informed us last meeting that he will be absent today. So, there's no classes for us."
"How lucky for you." Sendoh grinned. "Anyway, I was wondering where your other stuff is. If I didn't know any better, this room isn't occupied by a student currently. You're a big fan of music like me so how come there's no CD towers anywhere? Where's your CD player? Your speakers?"
Rukawa moved from his place and went to sit near Sendoh. Then he bent down and pulled something from underneath the bed. It was a medium plastic basket that contained a seeming album, a CD and MP3 player, an Anne Rice Novel and some candy bars. Rukawa picked up the album and unzipped the zipper that bound it. "It's more conveninent this way. At least, everything is handy and portable."
Sendoh watched as the CD album was opened. It was handed to him and he scanned through dozens upon dozens of CDs of Rukawa's interest. "Wow. You have a great collection. There are those that are hard to find. And I bet some of these that I don't know are really very cool. Hey, can I borrow some of these to sample them?"
"Sure."
"Thanks!" Sendoh smiled. He scanned through the rest of the pages before closing it. "Great collection. Anyway, now I wonder if you have perhaps a palm pilot or a laptop?"
"I have a laptop. Over there..." Rukawa pointed to the slim black rectangle on his desk that looked nearly like a notebook. "Do you have one too?"
"Yup! I've got it connected to the internet. You know, I love chatting. Hey, are you connected too? Maybe we could chat sometime or email each other. This could be beneficial with regards to the subjects we share."
"I'm connected, yes. Would you like to get my email address now?"
"Later... Actually, I wanted to invite you over for dinner at my condo. I really want you to see it. The view is just amazing."
"Why are you offering this?"
"And why do you always question me?" Sendoh smirked. "Hey, I barely have any friends in this university and you obviously keep me at a distance from you. You know, I should be the one asking questions here."
"I don't..." Rukawa tried to protest.
"Just tell me if you're annoyed with me. I'll stop pestering you."
"You don't annoy me." Rukawa sighed. <Do I really seem to keep you at a distance?>
"Good, because we're friends now." Sendoh smiled sincerely.
<Friends...> Rukawa looked at that smile that was so familiar and he nearly returned the gesture himself. But he looked away at the final moment, feeling awkward by being near a human being once again. "By the way... I wonder why you wanted to hang with me this weekend. You could choose one from your millions of fans to go with you anywhere you wished. But why..."
Sendoh laughed softly. "Millions of fans, huh? Not really. Anyway, I don't go out with any of them because you should know as well as I do that they are merely fans - not friends. There is a difference, isn't there? There is a huge boundary. Besides, if I pick any one of them, another would be jealous. And it could spark off troubles and such. Best to be on the safe and neutral side."
"You've got a point." Rukawa looked at his hands folded neatly on his dark jeans. Forced to recall his far past, he saw the image of his annoying fan club from high school. A time to remember and sometimes even long for. The old days...
"And you know what else, Rukawa-kun?"
"What?"
"It was because I recalled something earlier on while coming back from the practice game. I recalled seeing something that maybe was not intended for my eyes."
"What are you talking about?" Rukawa looked up to focus on Sendoh.
<The memory of a sad face underneath a Sakura tree.> And in a mysterious way, he only smiled in response. "Are you ready to go to my condo now? There are many things I must tell you."
"Tell me...?"
"Well?"
Rukawa stood up and nodded. "If you're ready too, yes."
"Then let's go, shall we?"
***
The condo unit was marvelous against the golden light from the afternoon sun. The black porsche rolled on to the end of the road, only to pull over on the driveway right before the building. The car's engine was stopped and the music from the radio ceased to play. The two inhabitants inside the car paused to look at each other before the car's doors were unlocked, a warm smile playing on the older boy's lips. It was an invitation - to just be normal, to just go on with him here.
Rukawa looked at that smile for one moment before opening his door and stepping outside. Standing up and closing the door at his side, he saw that Sendoh had done the same. He looked from Sendoh to the condo that belonged to the older boy.
It stood like a large pillar of white, with the backdrop of Tokyo behind it. It was two stories high but not so wide, a bit of a distance away from another residence. On the front was a green lawn that was now currently being sprinkled by the automatic sprinklers. Also, in front, there was a mailbox that seemed to have mail inside, as in front of the pale wooden door, the iron numbers '89' was posted. Rukawa watched as Sendoh moved to first get his mail then go towards the front door. When Sendoh was fishing for his keys while looking at him as if to invite, he too went towards the main door.
Sendoh found his keys then opened the door, letting both of them enter. "Well, what do you think? Come on, enter, don't be shy."
Rukawa nodded without word. He looked around once and decided immediately that this was an ideal home for him. All around, there was not so many small things. Most things there were vital - like furniture and television and many basic things. He could only wonder why there was no chairs on the living room though.
"Oh, no couch and coffee table, eh?" Sendoh smirked, reading through Rukawa's silence. There were large throw pillow on the carpetted floor so it was okay. "I don't really mind not buying those furnitures. After all, I do plan to perhaps migrate to another country after college. Basketball in America maybe?"
Rukawa stiffened. For one moment, he was made to think of America and immediately, he shook his head at what came to his mind. He was determined to forget it. Looking up at Sendoh, he just nodded. "Uhm... you were going to cook dinner, weren't you? I could help if you want..."
Sendoh shook his head at the offer. "No, no, you're my guest, remember? What I want is for you to relax yourself here. I'll order pizza instead." As soon as Sendoh did that, he went over to the phone and dialled a number. "Hello, yes, extra large 'Special' please. The address is at..."
Rukawa focused his eyes on the interior of the condo once again. He looked up this time, into the high ceiling. He noticed the stairs again that lead to the second floor. It was spiral in design and the second floor actually had a sort-of balcony leading to one room upstairs. That was Sendoh's room, most definitely. Rukawa looked then at the kitchen - which was visible from his point of view now as it was open, only a center island - that served as counter and table - separating the kitchen from the living room. From the kitchen, Rukawa could see a window and that window had the pride to show Tokyo before sunset - from the numerous high-rise buildings on the city, to the far-off sparkling sea and to the grand horizons in the sky. The view truly was great here as Sendoh had said. After all, it was on top of a high hill. This was a rich man's place. Definitely, Sendoh's uncle was a rich man to buy this condo for his nephew Sendoh Akira.
Laughter. That was what broke through Rukawa's musing. When he looked at Sendoh, the older boy was looking amusedly at him. Rukawa wondered what was so funny.
Sendoh, having a twinkle of merriment on his eye just grinned before walking towards the spiral staircase. "You don't have to look at Tokyo through the kitchen window, you know. Follow me to my room. In my balcony outside my room, you could see my favorite city in a more profound manner."
Rukawa nodded and followed Sendoh up to the second floor, watching Sendoh enter his room then following him almost hesitantly. When Sendoh flashed him that ever-ready smile, he nodded and followed him inside.
The room looked like a young man's room. Well, Sendoh was a young man now, wasn't he? But the room was without the hint that it belonged to a boy. Unlike Rukawa whose room was bare enough to be 'unoccupied by a person' - Sendoh's description of it - Sendoh's room was with minimal furnishings like a bed, a bedside table where a lamp was at, a low table where studies could be done and some electronic gadgets like his computer, CD player and the like. There was also a tall tower case and a well-chosen painting on the wall. The painting was that of an angel struck by lightning. Rukawa marvelled at the creation, remembering that once in his childhood, he too loved painting.
"Oh, that one I got from a yardsale on a neighborhood near here. It cost a bit even though the painter was the person himself who hosted that yardsale. Isn't it mysterious? Look closely and you'll see that it's very detailed."
Looking more closely at the large painting, he saw it more clearly. The angel had one wing broken, hanging limp by his side. His eyes were looking at somewhere distant, as if that place was with a person or thing that held danger for him. The angel was a boy, perhaps in his late teens, his torso bare while he only wore white cloth around his waist. His face was on one side dirty, as if he'd fallen to the mud. The expression on his face was horrified, seeking refuge from something he feared. The angel boy was by the sea, the waves behind him crashing to the rocky ground where he was the doing the action of nearly running away. The sea was dark and so was the sky. It looked like cold purgatory on a realm far from the human world. It was almost enough to provoke fear...
"You paint, Rukawa-kun?" Sendoh asked after a while, noticing Rukawa's intense concentration upon the portrait. When Rukawa looked at him as if surprised at the interruption, he smiled. "You can join the art club in school, you know. Or you could paint here at my place. I paint too but I often get bored at it so my art supplies are not used. Besides, my paintings are not so great anyway."
"You paint?" Rukawa could only give the question back, not expecting that Sendoh also painted. There was something similar between them now though Rukawa hadn't really painted in a long time now.
"I paint." Sendoh nodded. "I'll show you my paintings later, as well as some other things I need to show you. But for now, I believe you wanted to see Tokyo at the last rays of the sunlight? Perhaps it could give you inspiration to paint Tokyo."
Sendoh moved again after that, this time to open the door at the back of his room. He stepped out of the room and waited for Rukawa to follow him out before he closed the door to his room. Out here, the temperature was cool since it was after all, only spring. The two of them looked at the perfect horizons of the sky, at the peaceful ending of that day. They stayed, for awhile, completely in companionable silence.
But it wasn't long before Sendoh knew that it was a perfect opportunity to broach a sensitive subject.
"Rukawa-kun..."
Rukawa moved his head sideward and looked up at the much taller boy. "What?"
Sendoh sighed. "Earlier this day, I mean after the practice game we had with what's the name of that team again? Ahem, anyway, after the game, you know who I saw?"
Rukawa shrugged, not exactly wanting to play a guessing game.
"Well, I saw some people you might still recall even today. Wait... Here..." Sendoh retrieved his wallet from his pocket and opened it. He showed it to Rukawa. Rukawa looked from Sendoh to the wallet in incomprehension.
Then there, he saw that it was a small picture where players and familiar people from Kanagawa was there. From the star players from each team, the coaches, the managers and co-managers and many other people that were at least recognizable. There was someone missing though. And that person was Rukawa.
"That was taken on the all-star game that was held in Kanagawa after you left. All the great players playing along side with each other... Maki-san, Fujima-san, even Uozumi-san... I was there too, if you could see." His voice seemed to be wistful. As if he could still feel the emotions from that day. "We all posed in front of the camera. You know, Sakuragi was there too, funnily enough. It was because you weren't there to represent Shohoku. There's something wrong with the picture, right?"
Rukawa looked closer at the picture. Indeed, there was something wrong. First of all, perhaps the most obvious thing is that he wasn't there with them. Secondly, it was the expression on Sendoh's face. He looked up immediately at Sendoh. Sendoh looked at him.
"You... aren't smiling..." Rukawa said, the statement more of a question than the speaking of the obvious.
"You noticed?" Sendoh asked, looking down too at the picture. "You know why? It's because that match bored me to no end. Yeah, sure, the match had been intense. The greatest players of Kanagawa playing on the same court. What a big thing. But..."
There seemed longing in Sendoh's voice as he watched the picture.
"But, there was no one who could play evenly with me. By then, you and I were already even or perhaps even higher in skill with Maki-san. So, I was extremely bored..."
Rukawa couldn't say anything to that, knowing that it may just be a tactic to state where Rukawa seemingly belonged. But he knew better. He looked away from the picture then looked up to the sky. He noticed for the first time that the sun was no longer into view.
"Rukawa, I must admit to you that I really want you to join Yokaze team." Sendoh sighed and closed his wallet, pocketing it again afterwards. When there was no answer from the silent boy, he continued. "We all know that with the addition of Sakuragi and Hiroshi in Tokyo U's roster, Yokaze may very well lose the championship this time around. I knew that. They knew it too. But when I saw you suddenly, I knew that if you joined, maybe there will be a chance. You can be a match for Sakuragi and Hiroshi combined. And with your training in America..."
"Shut up, Sendoh..." Rukawa spoke in a slow and silent manner though his words were obviously with half-concealed anger. He didn't look back so Sendoh couldn't see the expression on his face. Rukawa was seemingly mad? Was he bitter about something? "Sendoh... from now on, please... Please don't talk about America."
The final few words had faltered. The anger laced with those words seemed to convert into something that hinted... fatigue? Sorrow? Sendoh watched the rigid back of his friend and wondered what Rukawa could be feeling. Concerned and not wanting to cause any kind of hurt towards the younger boy, Sendoh decided regretfully to change the subject.
"So, we have a homework in english, huh?" He asked almost awkwardly, still feeling the tension in the air. He shivered despite himself - and not only for the cold. Finally, he shrugged and noticed that Rukawa seemed to be shaking a bit too - was he also feeling cold? Or was it...
"Rukawa-kun?"
There was a brief moment of silence before Rukawa answered.
"Sendoh?"
"Let's go inside. It's cold."
Sendoh opened the door to his room then stood by it, waiting for Rukawa to respond. When Rukawa finally turned away from the sight of Tokyo and looked at him, he couldn't help but smiling gently as if wanting to soothe...
When Rukawa walked to him - When Rukawa was about to enter his room, Sendoh took the chance to put a hand on Rukawa's shoulder. He continued his comforting smile.
"I'm sorry for my words. I was only concerned for you, my friend..."
***
The night continued. But there was something different about it. Rukawa noticed it easily. Instead of an atmosphere where Sendoh was constantly chattering to him, the older boy was uncharacteristically silent. They sat by each other now on the throw pillows in front of the television, the empty box of pizza forgotten. Rukawa regretted now that he had made a situation such as this one.
When they were in the balcony outside Sendoh's room, he had been feeling it again. The dark thoughts and feelings he had for America. It was nearly consuming him again. If Sendoh had not been there, perhaps he might have broken down again. But thankfully, he had placed his mask securely enough - unseen still, undiscovered still. But still, perhaps, it was his mistake to be weak enough to not want to speak about basketball - about America. Conversations about those two subjects should be easy enough to discuss but why was he so weak to want to shun it? Now, he was really feeling regretful. Sendoh had barely said anything from the moment Rukawa had told him to shut up about America.
Rukawa sighed and looked from the television towards his side. He had to change the atmosphere. It was making them both uncomfortable. Surprisingly though, when he looked at Sendoh, the older boy seemed to have been watching him for a long time now...
Rukawa opened his mouth to speak then closed it because he didn't know what to say.
Sendoh sighed, looking away. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Rukawa could only echo in confusion.
"I was looking at you. And that seemed rude." Sendoh shrugged, his actions looking stressed.
Rukawa shook his head. "I didn't see you anyway so..."
Sendoh smiled. He looked back at Rukawa with a friendly face. "Actually, I had wanted to say something to you since earlier on. But I didn't know if you wanted to hear it."
"Uhm... If it's nothing about... If it's important, I mean, just say it." Rukawa urged.
"Well, actually, I wanted to tell you that I saw the Kanagawa gang earlier on. We talked a bit..."
"Oh." Rukawa said, recalling people from his old life. It wasn't such a bad thing to think on them. Those were the times when things were still simple. Maybe not that simple but back then, his life had been... tolerable.
"Everyone was there, I think." Sendoh said, thinking about his friends. "Akagi-san, Mitsui-san, Ryota-san, Ayako-san, Sakuragi, Haruko... Basically, everyone from Tokyo U. Jin-san, Kiyota and Hanagata-san are from Shigeo U, after all..." He paused to see that Rukawa was merely looking at him. He sighed.
"We talked a bit, them and I. You know what we talked about at one point? It was you. They all miss you. They're all worried because they never knew what happened. All of them, even Sakuragi, looking sad when thinking about your fate. You were special to us. You were our Rukawa Kaede of Kanagawa."
Rukawa listened. And something unpreventable happened while he listened to those words. His eyes, widening from surprise, he could not believe that while he thought that he was all alone in America, back here in the place where he was born, there were people who... cared?
Sendoh continued. "They told me about Anzai-sensei. Everyone says he's very sad and heartbroken that he doesn't know what had happened to you. He's worried. Very worried. About you, Rukawa-kun."
Rukawa looked away and closed his eyes. He could not prevent that action from happening. He recalled his good coach - so kind yet perhaps all the supressions towards him and his dream had been right all along. In America, he was nothing but...
Rukawa opened his eyes slowly. He looked down at his hands and breathed deeply. Why? That was the only thing he could ask himself. Why had he been stubborn to choose to go to America? He had had a bright future here in Japan. To be the best. To be someone. And finally, to find true happiness. Long ago, as a child, he'd promised himself that when he grew up, he wanted to find joy. And surely once he met success, people will love him, right? They'd accept him. He would be happy. But now, after everything, despite his talent and the high success in high school basketball in America, why was he here, unable to meet the eyes of his old rival?
Rukawa suddenly stiffened. There was a hand on his shoulder. He wondered why Sendoh cared. Slowly, the gentle but strong grip on his shoulder pulled him backward - turning the direction which he faced. Sendoh looked deeply into his eyes. And, Rukawa knew at that moment that Sendoh saw the emotions in his eyes.
Emotions of sadness, bitterness, anger and shame...
It was as if Sendoh understood.
"You would have to go to Anzai-sensei to tell him of your fate..." Sendoh spoke softly, nearly a whisper. "I shall be there with you, by your side, just like a friend should do...
He smiled gently. "I promise you."
It was at that moment that Rukawa could not help but nearly collapse - to surrender to the warm hand on his shoulder. He nearly collapsed to Sendoh's broad chest, to rest there in his tiredness. He wanted so bad to be held. To forget everything...
But he didn't allow it. He didn't want to break the boundaries that Sendoh's gift of friendship had given... Though he wanted so bad to just close his eyes and be held in warm and strong arms, he'd prefer if Sendoh was going to be at least his friend. If Sendoh knew of old longings and new ones that began to sprout once again, what would he do? Will he be banished from his home? Sendoh was being nice to him. He could never betray him with his questionable longings...
Sendoh sighed. "It was you, after all, wasn't it?"
Rukawa was confused with the words.
"That day, underneath the sakura tree. You were there, sitting by yourself. You looked lonely that day. Sometimes you look lonely. When you think no one is watching, I watch you. And there is tragedy in your eyes. I..."
Rukawa breathed deeply in anticipation.
In which, Sendoh showed him kindness with his understanding eyes. "May I call you Kaede?"
"Kaede..." Rukawa repeated, listening to his name. "Why call me that?"
"Because I want to be friends with you." was the simple answer. "And if you... if you want to be my friend too, maybe you could call me by my first name..."
"Akira." Rukawa nodded. There was an increase in his heart rate. He wondered now why he nearly wished to smile to Sendoh. But the next best thing happened...
<You wish to see me happy perhaps if you saw my sorrow underneath the sakura tree...>
<You smile at me everyday for as long as I have known you...>
<You're here with me when I could have been crying myself to sleep...>
<You touch me with your gentle hand when I could have felt cold and alone...>
His soul hurt. But at that moment, it was as if everything else faded away like the wind...
At that moment, he began to heal. And suddenly, to play again - To be with Sendoh, side by side, in the basketball court didn't feel like such a heavy blow to his sanity. It felt like just to be with Sendoh - a /friend/ - was enough to cause him happiness. He wanted to agree to playing in Yokaze team...
Only a little more and Sendoh was there to pluck him from the darkness he'd fallen in...
Just a little more time...
Just a little more push...
At that moment, Rukawa smiled. He did not really know why he did it. It was just that he felt like doing it. And no amount of trauma from his past could stop him from showing his true self...
"Kaede... May I? Uhm... You are smiling..." Sendoh nearly gasped in surprise. His hand faltered from holding on to Rukawa's shoulder. It dropped to his side. He was awestruck at Rukawa's features - the warmth from the smile, the purity of his emotions. The first time he'd ever seen Rukawa smile like this. Why?
Then Sendoh reflected the gesture. He too smiled back in return. He sighed, his body nearing Rukawa. The sigh was one of relief, of something akin to his own personal joy. He leaned his head closer to Rukawa and let their foreheads rest on each other as he looked down at Rukawa's eyes. He explained himself...
"Did you know that before I met you I thought basketball was boring? Did you know that before, I even thought that fishing was more exciting? Did you know that when I watched you those months when we were rivals - from the time I constantly beat you to the time when you pushed yourself hard enough... Did you know I was impressed that there is such a person who'd work so hard for his dreams? Did you know that because of you, I continue to play basketball today? Because you impressed me enough to believe that basketball is something worth it? And finally... did you know that the reason I did not smile in that picture was because you were not there?"
Sendoh sighed within his smile. "But now you're back..."
Rukawa looked up at the taller boy's eyes before closing his eyes at the relief he also felt within himself.
"In that case..." He sighed, feeling himself relax. "In that case, I'm glad I returned."
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