Chapter Five: Building the Invisible Bridge

Summer was a season he did not really ponder much about. There was a certain apprehension that he felt when Spring came because of the tragedy of his past. But Summer was just Summer. Just like Autumn and Winter. It was just another season.

And on this season, the most prominent event to Kaede was the viewing of fireflies...

Kaede watched them again. Fireflies in the dark. Who would have ever thought that the sight of them could prove as a simple distraction to his knotted psyche? If the shogun knew that fireflies could actually calm his nerves sometimes, he was sure that the old man would waste no time to exterminate the glowing insects who loved to dance on bodies of water such as the one he stood before right now. There was something special about those creatures, a reminder of something that he had learned from his distant past. In his mind, he could recall a distant memory...

He'd asked his step brother once, a young man old enough to be his father, "Why do fireflies glow in the dark?"

His brother had snorted, frowned then chided him for being a fool. He was just a three year old little boy then. It was a few days later when his own mother explained to him the supposed reason.

"It's a reminder, my child," she whispered as they walked along the bank of a flowing river. Floating lit paper lanterns were traveling with the flow of the water. A child from another neighborhood had died from an unknown disease. To commemorate his death and to symbolize his departure from earth, the small lit lanterns guided him into his journey towards either heaven or reincarnation. "We are all beings who would, at one point in our lives, see and know only darkness."

"Darkness?" His young mind could not yet comprehend.

She only smiled. "One day, when you understand what I am talking about, look at the fireflies during the summer months when they are swarming about, glowing like stars near a lake or river. And know..."

"Know what?" His voice was so curious, so passionate.

"That no matter how dark a night could be... if you search hard enough, perhaps there is at least one light out there to help guide you..."

"Like a firefly in the dark!" Little Kaede declared as if he was a scholar of the world.

"That's right..." his mother nodded. She clasped their hands together before they walked on back home. "A firefly is but a tiny being..."

"...but could fly with wings..." Kaede yawned, but continued stating the definition that his mother had taught him mere moments ago. "...and could glow with light so bright even in the darkest night..."

The woman smiled and they continued their trek back home...

Kaede took a deep breath as he continued to watch both the fireflies and the moon's rays flickering on the lake's surface. Futile memories. Leaves fell slowly from nearby trees, creating ripples once in a while. His interlude had just ended, and, as expected, the men began fighting for him again. He went here after informing one of the servants that when the decision was made, he was to be found here... in the darkness... <And here I am yet again to wait for duty... Duty I can not turn away from just because there is no choice...>

Waiting, thinking so deeply, he did not notice that the manager of the estate had been watching him for a few minutes now. Takato continued to smirk before deciding to announce what was to come as he sidled up behind the slender and elegant figure of Kaede. He leaned forward to whisper into Kaede's ear as one roaming hand began touching the boy in a way that had always been despised but had always been forcefully tolerated. "Kaede..." He nuzzled his face, like the lecher he silently was, into Kaede's slender neck.

The boy stiffened for one moment before relaxing his body, /nearly/ - but not quite - feeling his skin crawl in reaction. But because he was far too used to the actions of the man, he just relaxed his posture. He spoke in a low and blank voice as he felt the hand violating his space rudely - again. "Is there anything required of me, Takato-san?"

"Hm?" He nuzzled for a while more before looking up at Kaede, his hand - which was settled on Kaede's rump - not removing itself. "Oh yes, I am here to tell you to go get ready... as usual and as is expected on nights such as these. You have a customer, of course." There was a mysterious smirk on his lips.

He looked evenly at the manager before turning his gaze towards the mansion, no longer affected by an action such as what was being done to him. He was ready yet again. This would only be the third customer this day. He had seen so many more harsher days. Today had been so tolerable - easy, actually. "Then I'll take my leave now, Takato-san..." He bowed as if he meant it before moving his body away from the manager - to go to the mansion anytime. "What room, sir?"

The manager inhaled the scent of Kaede as he passed by him - the familiar aroma of fresh flowers and dew that the boy always smelled like. <Hard to believe you aren't an innocent little virgin, but still retaining all these virginal traits.> "Ah, but I have to brief you on this first, Kaede. This customer is a very... special customer..." He could barely contain the secret that the swordsman had forcefully made him keep earlier on.

Kaede could only watch the man with an emotionless face, as always. "Yes, sir... Shall I be assassinating him?" Inside himself, he could feel something like dread, that common feeling he experienced when he had to murder. He'd been a killer for too long and yet even though he wanted to believe that each ceasing of his victim's breath, inside he still felt terrible. Guilty.

An eyebrow raised and one side of the manager's lips quirked up. "So confident of yourself, Kaede? I doubt you can." He laughed softly before he ceased completely, quickly getting serious. "But, you're not supposed to. So make sure he gets treated well, alright?"

The boy nodded his head as if he had respect for the man. "Yes, sir... Are there any other details that I need to know?"

"Well, you'll know what to do when you're serving him. I didn't train you to be a high-class whore for nothing, did you not know? You do not need me to tell you everything now, do you? Just keep in mind that he is a highly-skilled swordsman, the legendary type." He did not tell the identity of the client, wanting fate to take its course. Kaede was educated enough to deal with the situation. He had not been trained so thoroughly for no reason.

Kaede heard his description - whore again - but said nothing of it, hearing the rant for far too many times in his life. "If there is nothing more then may I take my leave from you, Takato-san, and thus serve him? And... which room is he occupying?" He had his head lowered, vacant blue eyes looking down at the ground, emotions unseen.

The manager only smiled. "For the room... Third room from the stairs. It's on the second floor. Serve him well, now, you hear? I want him to trust you... feel for you perhaps? I saw it in his eyes earlier on. You easily seduced him as if you were not a man but a woman. Do more tonight. Do what is expected of you."

"Yes, Takato-san..." Kaede nodded politely before walking off. With graceful and artful movements, he went back inside using the back door of the mansion, entering it then moving through the familiar hallways, barely returning the gazes given to him by the other prostitutes, the servants or the customers who loitered about. Even though the show of the geishas was still running, many had wandered off. Right now, looking at these willing sinners who were here out of their own volition - unlike him - he could sense a hidden tragedy within their beings. If a person would go to places like these so willingly... If a person sells herself just for gold... If a person tolerated his surroundings enough, no matter how filthy, to just have a job... Well, there was something about it that made even a person such as Kaede feel pity. Pity for them but never for himself. He'd slowly learned that he somehow... deserved these things which had befallen him no matter how much he desired to escape from them...

He found the stairs and climbed up to the second floor where the said room was located in. He paused before the room then tried to calm his nerves. Yet another violation of his spirit, of course. There was no point to stop the flow of things if they would never stop, no matter his protests. Once, earlier in his life, he had always fought. He'd deny them the pleasure of knowing they have corrupted him even if he was beyond any sort of repair. He wished and strove towards an almost dream of freedom. But even though he dreamed that his assassinations could work to one day free him, deep down inside, he already knew that he was eternally /trapped/. And whether he would truly be free from this life or not, he knew that the darkness he felt now and in the past would never leave him. It would always be a part of him. Finally, he knocked softly, in a polite manner, waiting patiently for the affirmation to let him in. The white-colored paneled door felt rough against the whiteness of his knuckles.

But there was no sound coming from the inside, no reply whatsoever...

Kaede looked up from gazing at the tatami floor. Strange silence had answered him. Usually, men would be so eager to drag him in, to do as they pleased with him... but right now... He knocked again.

Still, there was no reply...

Kaede sighed softly before deciding to speak. But he was made to pause by a thought. <Oh, wait... I don't know his name...>

He cleared his throat nonetheless. "Sir... is anyone inside?"

There was a few more seconds of silence before the door opened slightly in answer and a smiling face peeked out at him... As the door opened wider to reveal the man's full stature, the said man looked Kaede up and down, discreet appreciation in his eyes. Just another person to appreciate his appearance although... "Well..."

Kaede was truly so surprised to see the now-familiar face of the swordsman Akira looking back at him. After they had interacted, he had gotten the idea that Akira was truly a man who did not lower himself to bed filthy whores like him. Akira was supposed to have honor but now he was just like every one of the men that the boy had served before. Kaede could only wonder what factor reversed the swordsman's creed even as something in his heart sank. He lowered his gaze. Had it been his performance that had been the factor? The way he made music which men dubbed as creating a lust spell? Or was it what they had talked briefly about before he played his flute on stage? The way he'd easily manipulated the swordsman to feel guilty at not being able to want a whore... was that it? Kaede saw the swordsman smile wider - directed at him - as he lifted his gaze in a gesture that looked like an act of shyness. He observed the admittedly handsome young man before he lowered his gaze in respect once again. "Good evening, my lord..."

The swordsman blinked at Kaede's politeness but continued to smile. He should not be surprised, he knew. The boy had been trained. He'd known it the moment he had seen him earlier on in the day. "A very good evening to you too." He stepped aside, his movements refine. There was the hint that he too had had practice. He seemed to have come from a family of educated swordsmen. "Come on in... Kaede..."

"Yes, my lord..." The boy nodded his head before entering the room, half-dreading what is to come. Whether it was this man who seemed to be so hesitant to even kiss him under the moonlight or it was a man who could easily ravage him in a corner, they were all the same. Every single one of them. He took a few steps more until he stopped, finding himself inside the room. He observed his surroundings. This was an elegant room that was only for the rich customers. Obviously, as a guard to someone as important as Hirohito Koichiro, the young swordsman Akira could access indulgences such as this. Or was it simply something assigned to the swordsman? Kaede was not really interested about the details. <He's of the government... That's all that I have to know...> He heard the sound of the door being slid close at the back of him and he wondered how Akira would act later on. Was Akira the rough kind or the gentle kind? Was Akira merciful? Should Kaede have to lie and be pliant or must he show his skills as the reputed male prostitute? He shrugged internally. He did not care. <Somehow, I just wonder about one more important thing... I wonder if I would assassinate him one day...>

"You don't have to be so formal, Kaede. Relax, and just call me Akira." During the day earlier on, Kaede had been calling him 'lord' but it was only now when he requested that the boy need not call him that. He wondered why it only occurred to him at this moment to do that. The swordsman began to walk further in until he was by the low table that was located near the window. Turning his head towards Kaede, he began to lower himself on the tatami, his white cotton yukata shifting as he sat down cross-legged by the table; he had ignored the cushion. He was still smiling gently as he gestured with his hand to the cushion opposite him on the other side of the table. That was the place where he wished for Kaede to sit. He turned away from the sight of the boy, not waiting for a reaction, before he looked at the few things that were on the table. There was the lamp from earlier on, still burning. There was an intricately designed azure ceramic pot filled with tea and on its sides were two cups of the same color and design resting on top of circular woven coasters. Akira reached out with his two hands towards the objects, using one hand to hold on to the pot and the other to support as he poured the tea methodically into the first cup and then the second. It was not a tea ceremony really but it looked elegant nonetheless.

After hearing the swordsman's words, Kaede moved slowly towards the opposite side of Akira, lowering his silk-clad body on the cushion in practiced movements, making sure his posture was perfect just like he had been instructed far too early on in his life. The white silk moved gracefully and shifted as dictated by his movements, making it look, for one moment, as if it had a life of its own. The kimono clung to Kaede's slight curves naturally. The soft glow of the lamp's flame played on his face, highlighting contours, making his appearance look sharper and more defined. He looked for awhile at the man's movements of pouring the tea for both of them and immediately was reminded of what divided the two of them as humans. He offered his help automatically. "Lord Akira, would you like me to do that for you?" A swordsman was not supposed to do these kinds of things if there was someone who would serve for him. Akira was acting against the trends of the modern era...

The swordsman quirked one eyebrow up at Kaede, the smile on his face never leaving him. The smile gave his handsome features an overall pleasant and comfortable look. It suited him to smile and when Kaede looked at him, the boy could not help but wonder about the composition of the complex samurai who sat before him. He wondered why smiling came so easily for Akira. The young man meanwhile looked once again on what he had been doing. "I'm about done anyway. You need not do anything, Kaede." He finished pouring the tea then gently handed one cup in the traditional two-handed way to Kaede. Still maintaining the look, he looked at the boy's eyes as he slowly slid the tea cup's coaster towards where Kaede sat. "And please... do drop the 'lord', Kaede. I'm not one. I am merely a swordsman, nothing more." He cast his gaze down into his own tea cup and picked it up slowly, placing the ceramic against his lips. The tea was hot and still steaming. He could smell its sweet scent. He had asked the servant earlier on to put honey in it. He blew gently on the tea's clear golden green surface before taking a silent sip off his cup, his eyes never leaving Kaede, always silently appraising.

Kaede accepted the cup gratefully with careful hands, feeling the heat emanating from the cup and having immediately the strong urge to place it down. But as he was trained, he endured it as he placed it down on the coaster that Akira had also moved towards him. His eyes too were watching the older male silently, knowing the look that he was being given. "Thank you..." <No Lord then... You are an odd one...> "Akira..." He lifted the cup and placed it on his lips, an echo of what the swordsman had done moments earlier. Sipping his own tea slowly, the hot liquid entered past his lips and sloshed inside his mouth. He was surprised that Akira had ordered the tea to be sweet. In his earliest memory, he remembered that as a child, he wouldn't drink tea unless honey had been placed in it. The thought caused a quiet starburst of ache but he ignored it. He calmly placed the cup on the coaster once again. <A customer who is not only into carnality and lust... These kinds of men are rare these days...> He looked back evenly at the man again, his face designed to be serene as always.

The young man, in response, merely cocked head to the side as he continued to study Kaede's visage. "Fourteen years old..." There was a sudden ache in his eyes, easily visible, and Kaede did not know what to make of both the ache and the statement. What was he supposed to say about the utterance of his age?

And then Akira placed his own cup down on his own coaster and he sighed softly, as if burdened by something. "...fourteen..." <Very tall and slender for his age... and almost my height, too...> "You're so young, Kaede... And yet you work in a geisha house like this one."

Kaede could only nod as he heard the details. He remembered suddenly about Akira's wish to speak with him. Inside himself, he could not help but feel the need to defy this - to even prefer physical pain than this. What was this anyway? Was it not going to be a mockery of the person whom he was? That was why Akira could not touch him, after all. He was only this person that he was today - this sinning castaway whose future consisted of a sure residence in the fires of hell. His heart was clenching in pain at the fact that had been stated. <What do you want to say to that? Why do you say it? It has nothing to do with you at all...> "I... It's always been my job..." His voice had been soft when he had spoken. He could not avoid to look away and avoid Akira's eyes for one moment before he firmed himself and looked on back at the man. He must not be weak in the face of this... whatever this is. No matter what happened... Later on, the man would prove that he was just like everyone else.

Akira raised another eyebrow but this time in genuine confusion and curiosity. "...your job? That is what you see it? But you seem to be brimming with potential for things other than this. You're young, you can do other things..." He trailed off. He had been ranting. He had forgotten the building blocks that had lead to the boy's destiny. He had forgotten that Kaede had always been here. He had forgotten...

For some reason, Akira could feel anger in his heart. He could feel resentment at so many things around them - things that allowed opportunities for these kinds of things to happen. Whose fault was it this time? Was it the shogun's fault? Was it the government in general? Who was the culprit who allowed daily rape on boys or girls just like Kaede? But then again, how come no one had aided Kaede before? How come no one aided those children in brothels across the country, allowed to be run for some reason he did not know. He had more questions to ask but realization dawned on him suddenly.

<If I ask these questions /only/, then I am as bad as whoever allows misery and tragedy to be a part of the waking world. Because I have /awareness/ and I do nothing...> He looked at Kaede again then calmed himself. <And yet... maybe...>

The boy was looking calm on the surface but his insides were suddenly raging with mixed emotions at the words that were given to him. Akira had just told him what elders with pity in their eyes had once told him long ago. That he had potential but his potential was wasted because he was an outcast... a disease in society even though he chose not to be. <That's right... I could do other things if only I were free... To be a swordsman like you... That was my family's wish for me to be...> He picked up his cup again and sipped again.

Akira mirrored the action as he too sipped his tea silently, still studying the boy opposite him.

After finishing his sip, Kaede placed his cup down again, intending to change the topic - to give focus on the man and not him, knowing that men liked to be talked about themselves - to feel important in their high egotistical ways. His voice was silent yet audible in the quiet room they shared. There was sadness inside his heart as he stated his sentence, knowing that he too should have been what he described the young man to be... "You must be a great swordsman..."

Akira looked honestly curious as he put his tea down on the knitted coaster as well. "Whoever told you that outrageous story, Kaede? Great swordsman, I am not. Merely a common one. There are many of us here in Kyoto, even more all over Japan, some greater than the others. There are many, many out there who are greater than me..."

The younger boy seemed unfazed. "But you must be great though... to afford the best room in what they say is the best brothel in this country... That says a lot, does it not?" <To afford my services...>

The swordsman could only smile. "Well, honestly, I came for..." <...came to accompany my master...> He shrugged. "Well, I came for nothing actually. That's my honest reason for being here. It sounds humorous, does it not? To come to what is deemed to be the best brothel in the country and sitting face to face with the best boy whore..." He could not help but cringe at his words, not being able to prevent the 'sorry' that suddenly escaped him.

Kaede was looking a bit puzzled at him before shrugging his shoulders and drinking tea yet again.

Akira spoke some more. "Tonight, I somehow feel like talking - just that, actually. I thought that this place could not offer me wit, but you have proven me wrong. It was easy to get interested in you after I heard you speak to me. I... somehow am curious about you... That's all."

Kaede shrugged his shoulders again. Although Kaede was almost half-thankful at hearing that there would be nothing  but conversation, he knew that he could not afford to fool himself. He knew very well by experience that to hope would only cause heartbreak and despair later on. Whenever he hoped in the past, it would always be trampled upon by cruelty. It was a common thing in his life. <Strange man... You paid for what they say was the 'best' and yet...>

"You should drink your tea before it gets cold, Kaede."

The boy nodded silently before picking up his cup and sipping yet again, all his movements fine and proper. The tea felt warm on his lips - a lot of its heat had already escaped to the atmosphere. He continued his educated movements, making Akira watch him with much curiosity. He knew that the young man found his manners interesting. Maybe it was because he was supposed to be a man and yet could act like one of the best geishas out there today. Fine, proper and artful, mere gestures and words that came from him could easily hypnotize or seduce. He only wondered if he was causing that sort of effect on Akira.

<He's well educated...> Akira could not help but think. <No... well-trained should be the word... I wonder what would happen if he would part from his fate, even for awhile. Will his wit drive him to greater heights? It is rather clear that he does not want to be here... I wonder what his other talents are...>

He was getting more curious by the second.

"Kaede... Kaede... do you have a last name, Kaede? A family name." His eyes traveled from the pale column of Kaede's exposed neck to the fine-boned hands that still grasped the tea cup. <He has the hands of an artist... I wonder...>

In response, Kaede almost felt chilled as his last name was being asked - the last remaining thing that he kept from the world he lived in now for it was the last thing he could at least leave untarnished as he keeps it hidden. "I'm sorry..." <I might be disrespectful and I know I will be punished later for this but...> "I'm sorry but that really has nothing to do with you, does it not?"

Akira smiled understandingly and nodded his head as if he expected the answer. "You're right. It doesn't. Just thought that there's no harm in asking. Apparently there is, at least I know that now." There was meaning in his gaze at the boy. "And I respect that, Kaede. Everyone has secrets, no? It enables them to not forget who they really are, and their roots... No matter what happens in the future, good or bad... something to hold on to and... never forget..."

Hearing those words, seeing the constant smile, the meaningful gaze and the almost inspiring words that the seemingly kind man gave to him, Kaede could not help but almost admire. But he, of all people, knew that he was just deluding himself by believing that there were still people out there who were noble and kind... after all, if there were, why was he still here with no one to aid him? "You're very admirable in your words, Akira..." <But do you mean them? I almost wish you did...>

"Words?" He looked questioningly at Kaede. "Is that how you would view them? You're strange... strange but interesting. I was merely saying what I was thinking, Kaede, they're not just mere words." He shook his head slightly as he refilled both his teacup and then Kaede's. Their cups were yet again steaming.

Kaede watched the green tea with almost longing as the man's presence seemed so calming, so comforting... <He's strange himself... I've never met someone so... different...> "Thank you..." He picked up the cup but didn't sip, looking at the hot liquid and its steam. <You... You remind me of what I hate within myself... what I could never be... never be like you - what I should have become...>

Akira could only wonder silently about what other harmless topics he could discuss with the boy. Finally, "So, Kaede, are you interested in swordplay?"

There was another sudden dull ache in his chest as he was reminded of his supposed future but he squashed the emotion away - as always. The dreams for him should have ceased to matter the day they took him away from his home. He shrugged slightly. "It is interesting... but it serves no purpose to me..." <...if you hadn't noticed, I am merely a...> He shook his head internally, knowing that his family would have been turning in their graves if only they weren't all burned after their horrible deaths.

Akira raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Oh? How would you know? One can not tell what is going to happen in the future and you're only fourteen years old. You're very young, and I know that there is strength in you - in more ways than one. And you have a future. Not many people, whom you think have more than you, have that, did you know? And I'm sure there must be some other qualities... or talents..."

The boy would have smiled at the encouraging words he was receiving but he only shook his head respectfully. "Maybe so...  but..." He didn't say say anymore. <The shogun owns me... His power is absolute... He is a God... No one can defy a God... Even though I sometimes fool myself in believing that I could defy the government through the murders I commit, I know deep within my soul that I am only one person. I alone could not topple an established government.> He sipped more of his tea in silence. <You make me tired already, swordsman... These words... these spoken thoughts that challenge me and provoke me... they tire my heart...>

Akira could just imagine how different life could become if there was a shift in the government - and thus a ceasing in Kaede's slavery. He wondered how Kaede would act then. A free Kaede... But Kaede was not yet free. Not even in hoping for the future. <They must have done a number on you to make you lose hope like that, my friend. And you're so young, too. Usually, people your age are fiery with determination but still... I can see the faint glimmer of desire for freedom in your eyes, Kaede, if not the fiery will to achieve it... but again, Kaede, nothing is absolute...> His eyes softened as he stared into Kaede's downcast eyes. <Old eyes... You may have youth but have old eyes, Kaede, and an old heart... You lack vibrance for one so young... and yet, you have the desire of a young fledgling... It would be such a waste...> Akira breathed the night air slowly, smelling again the scent of lotus from the lake. "So... what do you do during your pastime? You must have a hobby of some sort..."

Kaede paused sipping his tea at the questions. <Why are we talking about myself? I must steer this away from me lest I lose face in his prying questions...> "Hobby? What geishas are expected to be able to do... Origami, Ikebana... But..." There was a faint sadness in his eyes and Akira caught it before it was forced away. "I used to paint... that's all... Anyway, what about you?"

"But... you're not exactly a geisha are you...? You still retain that maleness in you..." <...the exquisite beauty of one, rare in most men, but can only be possessed by one of male origin, sweet and desirable women may be...> "...and you used to paint, you said? Why did you stop? I'll get to mine later, I promise... Now I want to know a little bit more about yourself that you don't mind sharing."

"I..." Kaede could clearly remember the thrill of yesteryear. There was a calmness he could get from running a paintbrush all across a canvas and watch it magically turn into a landscape, a portrait or even something abstract. It really hurt to remember it sometimes. "I used to paint in the past... But I don't see any more reason for me to do so..." He could not help but feel mildly annoyed that the man would not just take what he needed so he could leave and be alone again. There was a complication in serving Akira. It was as if the swordsman wanted not only to corrupt his body - which he knew would occur later on - but also seduce and salvage his intellect.

Akira, meanwhile, felt mildly irritated, not really understanding why a person could choose to forget the qualities and attributes that distinguish him or her as a person. "Reason? There's no need for reasons when you're doing things you like, Kaede. You should do it, if you feel like it. It's not like it would be against the rules, right? It's just painting. It seems to be in sync with your other, as you so eloquently put it, geisha pastimes, but yet something purely your own... I know I'm not in the position to give you any advice but... You shouldn't lose that last bit of yourself, Kaede. It's just something I'm telling you from... my own experience, that's all... So please don't take this the wrong way." He sipped his tea once again.

Kaede said nothing for awhile, in the midst of needing to feel annoyed yet also needing to analyze the words, as if it held meaning for him. <But all I feel is boundless sadness when I paint... a reminder of what I used to be, can't be...> He looked up in curiosity at Akira before sipping the rest of his tea then placing his cup down on the low table where the coaster was at. His voice was soft and had the tranquil quality it always had. "Everyone has a past in this era perhaps... You need not worry about mine... Now..." His eyes searched for Akira's, wanting to just get this over with. He would just initiate what Akira came here for... He would just... But somehow, he could not say anything and initiate anything yet because the man was still busy with his tea.

Akira, as if getting the hint, placed his tea cup down and watched Kaede with interest.

The boy could not help but sigh softly once he saw the man placing down his tea. "Are you quite ready for what you came here for, Akira?" He raised a hand up slightly, fingering the fold of his white silk kimono. "Or is there anything else you need to speak about?" <The kind of man who likes the intellectual tryst before the sexual one... This is what you are...> He tilted his head to the side slightly, seduction in his mere movements.

Akira smiled and tilted his head to the side in return. "But I haven't even answered your question yet, Kaede... and I promised..."

Kaede blinked and then remembered. Almost ashamed of himself, he placed his hand down politely on his lap while waiting for the 'answer'.

"Well, I like to train with my katana but I actually prefer training with the wakaba. It provides good meditation and evens out the chakra in my body. The balance is vital, you see. And besides that, I like to meditate motionless too. I strongly believe in some of the Buddhists teachings - a lot of them in fact - and some Zen. I practice that as well..."

"You must be very skilled... The best, just like I had said earlier on..." Kaede had a wistful gleam in his eyes before he shook it away with effort. No need to dwell on matters that could not be. But... <Is it... really something I could never be...? Or... Maybe one day? But it's quite impossible... so impossible...> He forced the new questions which had been born tonight to remain silent in his mind and heart. His only need was to please the swordsman and get on with his horrid existence. "And you seem to be determined in your art... That's nice..."

"Well, it is a part of who I am and I won't let anything, or anyone, take that away from me..." The swordsman's cobalt gaze became determined. <...and you shouldn't too, Kaede...> But he did not say the unspoken words, trusting Kaede to be smart enough to get his meaning.

Kaede could hear those unspoken words and could only smile bitterly inside himself. <Five years old and this life already... If you only knew... But I won't give up... One day, I would be free from all of this... one day...> "You're very admirable..." Looking down at his hands, he wondered what else the man needed to talk about before they could just move on - and he could move away from all these things that penetrated the barriers of his soul... to be safe from pain. And though he knew that no moment would be without pain, he was feeling rather stubborn now as he only wanted this tryst to end soon, no matter the man's seeming kindness. <In the end, you will just be one of /them/... All that you give me are these ornamental words that spark off my interest, my passion and yet...> "Is there anything else you wish to speak about now?"

Akira smiled and shook his head. He found himself yawning and stretching and in a sudden movement, he got up from his seated position, alerting the younger boy. "Well, I'm supposed to have reserved you until tomorrow morning. I'm going to bed now. I would be honored if you'd stay the night? You can say no if you really don't want to, I /won't force you/. You're free to go, if you so please. I enjoyed your company immensely." The smile on his face was pleasant and genuine. "And do you know what else? They were right about what they said about you. You /are/ amazing..."

The genuine surprise and shock in Kaede's face was perhaps enough of an answer to the first statements he encountered which did not degrade him - but rather, praised him in the best ways. He looked, for one moment, so amazed at the first man ever to give him a /choice/. <What did... he just say? He... He won't... force me...?> If he spoke now, he knew he would stutter and as he slowly got up, smoothly, his movement like silk, he knew that there was something dawning in his heart. Something had changed. Something new and warm had lodged itself on his soul and he had no choice but to let it stay there. He knew that that warm feeling in his chest was related to his supposed customer for the night. And he could not help but feel immense gratitude - gratitude which he knew not how to express. <I... I didn't do anything yet... Why is he... Why is he like this? I've never met anyone like this before...> He bowed politely, his mind reeling. "I... I really didn't do anything, Akira... I haven't done anything for you yet really..." It was hard to keep track of what had been spoken to him in this dilemma of hearing goodwill from the stranger. <Stay the night? And I have a choice in that? ...but Takato-san said that... I should make him like me... trust me...> His feet were walking automatically yet gracefully towards the door. "I... I shall have my leave now..." <If so then I should...> And suddenly, he felt his insides being wrenched as he was torn between duty, his desire to just /leave/... and... something... <And yet...> Something else...

Kaede paused right before the door.

Akira was just smiling as if nothing had changed. "Then I shall bid you a very good night, Kaede. Thank you so much for your time." He slowly turned around, facing the lamp so that he could blow it off the moment Kaede walked away. Since he was facing away, he could not really see the boy's hesitation.

Kaede looked at the door, eyeing the material of the panel, then cast his gaze down on the polished wood of the floor. It looked golden amidst the shadows and the light of the lamp from inside the room. For awhile, he could say nothing, stuck between duty, wish and something he could not yet distinguish... <What is this I'm feeling? For this kind man... What am I thinking? Damn these thoughts... But still, Takato-san said... And it is my duty to do this or else...>

Finally, he closed his eyes in defeat as all reasons seemed to be stacked up against him. "I.. I will... I will stay the night, Akira..."

Akira's body stiffened in response. And slowly, he turned back to look questioningly at Kaede. "Kaede... are you sure? You don't have to stay if you don't want to. You've already completed your tasks as far as I'm concerned and that should be enough, isn't it? Don't worry, I'm very pleased tonight. I will be calling on you often for the rest of the days that I am here, if you don't mind, and I will let Takato-san know, too, how much you impressed me." <...so you won't be punished. You've exceeded my expectations totally, Kaede.> "...but really, for this, you don't have to /if you don't want to/..."

Hearing the statements broadcasted to him by the deep yet gentle voice, he couldn't help but clench his fists at his sides, knowing that he had completed his mission now so he could just go. <That's right... No more reason to stay. He's even allowing me - so the option is to leave... which means...> He slowly slid the door open, feeling the rough material underneath his fingertips again. He looked out at the dark hallway. <Alone again... alone and... why does my heart hurt? There is no reason... I'm not recalling my painful past... And yet... Knowing that I'll be alone... when I could be in the company of this man... this wonderful man who... who...> He slowly walked out of the room but, for one moment, hesitated as he saw the blinding darkness. <Why... Is this really what I have become? Do I... Do I want this... I...> He breathed deeply as if something was now constricting his chest.

And then he heard Akira speak to him. "Kaede... wait..."

He stiffened and his eyes widened as he heard the man's deep voice. "Y... Yes?" <What is it? Is he going to keep me for the night, after all? Or...>

Akira walked towards Kaede. In slow movements, with his gentle yet strong hands, he touched Kaede's shoulders, moving them clockwise so that Kaede could turn around and they would be able to see each other again. The boy looked up at him in seeming expectation, lips slightly parted as he waited for whatever he was going to do or say. His voice was soft, inspiring trust. "There's something I want to give you... sort of a parting, hope-to-see-you-again next time gift... Would you mind if I..." He could no longer stop himself. His lips tingled from the thought. He bent down, low enough so that their breath could mingle in the closeness of their faces. He was no longer smiling but his face was still with kindness and yet was holding some sort of unreadable new emotion. "...if I give you..." He gently took Kaede's chin between his thumb and index finger. He breathed in the scent of lotus, dew and flowers... and the boy in front of him. "...this?"

And he kissed Kaede gently on the lips, a non-intrusive contact.

Kaede nearly gasped but could not do so as lips are upon his. He could feel the rush of so many emotions - pain, fear, anger... and then suddenly, hope, trust and peace. The lips upon his were so gentle, so respectful in how it kissed his own. He could almost feel sad at this - at not knowing what it signified. All these new emotions, these new actions being done to him... He did not understand and it hurt him because... he... somehow... seemed to like it...

And he knew he should have expected something like this - something that demanded physical contact - but now, he was feeling rather... different about this kiss than all the other contacts he had received before... just because the man was not at all demanding, not at all cruel but...

<He treats me... as if I'm actually a human... not a thing to be used... He... he gives me... He /gives/... and... And he expects nothing in return...> He closed his eyes and for once, with truth, actually kissed back, as if to do so was no longer a sin but a moment shared and not forced upon. <I... I... Why do I...>

Akira closed his own blue eyes and deepened the kiss slightly. It was intoxicating, alluring. The lips were like petals underneath his own lips and he wanted nothing more than to drown in the moment, take it further than the two of them had gone before... but...

But he pulled away before it can really lead to anything more. His lips were still tingling when he slowly opened his eyes. Looking down at Kaede, he saw that the boy's face was still upturned to his own, lips gleaming, eyes still closed. He smiled down affectionately at Kaede and felt the birth of something powerful in his heart. "You are /special/, Kaede, remember that... no matter what... and there will always be something out there for you... a future, that is your own to make..."

Slowly opening his eyes, Kaede looked up in wonder at Akira before nodding slowly. "I know..." <Now I'm a bit more... sure... because I've seen the hint of it tonight... Someone kind... Someone who...> If he had been capable of it, he would have smiled. His heart felt so secure. Even though this seemed like nothing more than a dream, he truly felt so safe...

Finally, Kaede bowed respectfully. "Thank you very much, Akira..."

Akira just grinned, stepping away from Kaede, one hand behind his head and the other held out in front of him in an apologetic gesture. It seemed as if the spell of their moment earlier had ended. "Ah, I'm sorry! I hope you didn't mind that little kiss. I couldn't help myself. Forgive me? Won't happen again..." <...not if you don't want it, Kaede...> "Well, then, good night, Kaede!" He smiled a genuine smile at Kaede. <You're the first to be able to make me feel and smile this way, Kaede... I do hope I can help bring you out of this nightmare you call your life soon... And then, you can be free to do whatever you want... Free. Such a pretty bird should be flying free and not trapped in a gilded cage like this... It would be such a tragic waste...>

Kaede looked up in a moment of open confusion at how this man could be so... so... so different and kind and... <Oh God... why do I keep praising him?> He shrugged slightly. "I didn't mind it... Not really..." <Not when you gave me respect as a human when no one else had before...> He looked curiously at the smile and wondered if there will ever come a time when he too would be able to smile like that. Finally, he sighed, knowing that this strange yet special meeting had ended. "Good night..."

The young man just stood there and continued smiling until Kaede has closed the door. Then, with a new fixed resolution in his mind and a determination he hadn't felt in ages, he heaved a sigh to indicate the start of something meaningful. His mind conjured running through wide green fields, swimming through the clearest lakes and climbing the highest mountains. <I think... I may have a new resolution, Hirohito-san... and when I'm determined like this, nothing will stop me from achieving it... Even if it means rebelling against you...>

"Heh." He could not seem to erase the smile on his face as he turned around from the door where Kaede had been earlier on, and walked towards his futon. Everything had already been prepared. He only had to lie down. Feeling something strong in his chest, he first walked over to the lamp on the low table, snuffing out the flame from the lamp, before lowering his body on his futon. He did not go under the covers. The night seemed mildly balmy.  Watching the ceilings where the light coming from the full moon was playing, and letting the strong scent of the lotus calm his beating heart, he felt something he hadn't been able to feel in ages and may, in fact, even be his first, but he recognized it all the same. <Well, that's in the future, I suppose... whatever happens...> And he fell asleep, eyes closing slowly, the last thoughts on his mind being a slender being with pale skin and blue eyes...

...While Kaede walked across the dark hallway, watching absently nothing, but thinking of so many things. His eyes could not help but travel back towards the sight of the room where he had just emerged from, his heart beating so quick against his chest. <A confusing individual... strange, kind Akira...> He shook his head before walking away. <Akira.>

And the two parted, in steps and in space, but oddly, not so much in heart.

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