The UkeKitsune Round Robin - part 9
by Chee Ky

That�s when Kaede snapped.

He had had enough of being pawned at, groped at, manhandled etc�

CheeKy: Heh� I�ve run out of descriptive ideas� any suggestions? ^_~
Crystal: Bondage!
Vspirit: *nods her head emphatically* Yes, yes!! Don�t forget to strap him to the chair while�
Kaede: *death glare* Need I remind you that I was just strapped to a sturdy and unbreakable table not too long ago?
CheeKy: Oh� that�s right� Guess I�ll have to rule that out, sorry�
Crystal and Vspirit: *Mournful sighs*
CheeKy: So uhm, any other ideas?
Nagyra: I know, I know, let him be seduced by the greatest of all vampires�  

Almost at once, a spotlight was switched on, casting a bright light in the middle of the dark and gloomy stage floor. As if on cue, Lestat then stepped forward with graceful steps from behind the red velvety curtain. Smiling seductively into the crowd, Lestat was about to speak when he was suddenly dragged violently back into the darkness�

CheeKy: *eyes widened at the sudden developments* Eh?? What the�

A bloodcurdling scream was heard followed by several loud applauses. Scratching her in puzzlement, CheeKy cautiously peered from behind the curtain. Her jaws clattered loudly to the floor at the sight before her. Many many many Semes were congratulating each other on a job well done.

Seme # 1: That takes care of him�
Seme #2: Yeah, I was getting sick of seeing Frenchy boy with his arrogant smirk�
Nagyra: Frenchy boy? *pulls back her sleeves with a deadly look on her face*
CheeKy: *hastily retreats as bodies started flying in the air* O-kay� there goes another plot down the drain� Hmmph� I wonder if� *an insane and maniac idea popped in her head as she then began typing rather furiously*

In short, Kaede was sick and tired of being treated as a weak but nevertheless, very delicious (!!) uke. And like hell if he was going to depend another self-centred, arrogant and self-proclaimed macho man to rescue him from the perils of doom�

UKML: Hey, wait a minute� wait just one bloody minute�this isn�t the way the story ought to be written�
Semes: Yeah, or have you forgotten that this is the Ru-Ukeholics Mailing List?
CheeKy: *withers slightly at the daggers coming out from everyone�s eyes* Hey, just give me a chance to finish this fic, okay?
Sensen: *pouts indignantly* I am not self-centred, how can you even think that? Don�t you know that Kaede has always my number one priority?�
CheeKy: *recalls several fics in which Sensen purposely seduced Ruru to get some and mutters sarcastically* Yeah right�  

*Anyway, to return to the new revelation�^_~ *

With a determined look on his face, Kaede roughly pushed aside Gojyo (A/N: Did I get the name correct? *sheepish grin* I don�t know who he is�) as he stormed past into the tunnels. Finally, he reached some kind of wooden door and to the horror and disbelief of Gojyo, he gave the door a hard kick and it burst opened.

�Finally, a way out�� muttered Kaede triumphantly as his eyes scanned the surroundings for any other signs of escaping the area.

But before he had taken two steps into the open, all the other semes had gathered at the door as they protested loudly.

Muraki: Hey, you can�t leave just because you feel like it. I� *a loud gulp as Tsuzuki gave him a warning glare* *pointing in the direction of other semes* They still need to finish the sacrifice.
Kaede: *turns back and folds his arms in a decidedly manner* I don�t care. You guys can go find yourself another uke. I�m quitting this role.
Maki: *purrs seductively* But you�re the prefect uke. Come on Kaede, don�t be such a wet blanket.
Kaede: *death glare* No. 

And for the next couple of hours, all the other semes tried in vain to change Kaede�s mind.

Semes: *blah blah blah*
Kaede: *yawn*

They persuaded, cajoled, bribed, and some even got down on their knees to beg�

Semes: Beg? Hellloo� you�re depicting us semes as weaklings?
CheeKy: *snort* Do you want Kaede back or not?
Semes: *nods emphatically*
CheeKy: Then shut up and let me continue with the story� 

But no matter what the reasons they gave, Kaede refused to change his mind.

Kaede: I refuse to change my mind.
CheeKy: *pokes Kaede for his lack of attention* I already said that.
Kaede: Oh. 

Finally, Sendoh stepped forward and cleared his throat loudly. Silence followed as everyone turned to look in the direction of Rukawa�s most charming seme.

Chache, Jo-san and other SenRu die-hards: *throws confetti in the air they smiled happily* (A/N: sorry if I didn�t mention your name� I�m really not sure who�s who�)

Sendoh: *smiling with puppy-dog eyes* Er� Kaede-chan, what will it take for you return to your role as my� uh� our uke?
Kaede: *defiant look* Have you not been listening? I don�t want to be anyone�s uke anymore�
Sendoh: *scratches his head* Okay, so if you don�t want to be the uke, does that mean you want to be the seme?

UKML and all the other semes: *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*

And then�

CheeKy runs for cover as furniture, books, and even rotten apples are thrown in her direction.

Everyone: You *blep* *blep*� How dare you destroy the spirit of the UKML round robin??
CheeKy: *teary eyed as she rubbed a painful lump on the head, the result of being hit by the sturdy and unbreakable wooden table* I�m not finish yet�
Everyone: *sits back with deadly glares* Hmph! You better do something to rescue the fic or else�
CheeKy: *gives a loud gulp as everyone simultaneously ran a finger across their necks* Er� right� to continue with the fic� *beads of sweat tickled down the side of her head as CheeKy realises that her insane idea was indeed insane; in fact, it was going to get her killed�* *another loud gulp*

Kaede: *mulling over what Sendoh just said* Well� I guess so, yeah. *blushing bright red* But I don�t know how to be one�
CheeKy: *comforts Kaede* It�s okay, it�s not like you ever had any opportunity to do so� *glares at the UKML and other semes who looked innocently away* 

Sendoh: *brightens up considerably* Don�t worry, I�ll be more than happy to show you.
Kaede: *looks suspiciously*
Sendoh: *smiles seductively* Trust me� Now, all we need is some privacy � *pulling Kaede into one of the rooms inside the castle, Sendoh then winked suggestively at the other semes before shutting the door behind him* 

Maki: *looks thoughtfully behind the door* Why do I have the feeling that we just been had?
Muraki: *nods his agreement* Yes, things didn�t quite turn out the way we thought it would.
Goyjo: *scratches his head in puzzlement* Does that mean Kaede isn�t going to be our uke anymore?
Maki: *turns to glare at the writer* Hmph, maybe you should ask her that question.
Goyjo: *growls and turns very very scary* This is all your fault! It�s bad enough that I was overlooked in the last chapter, but because of you, I�m passed by again!
CheeKy: *smiles weakly while backing away ever so slowly* Er� let�s not make any hasty decisions. I�m sure Sendoh will be successful in getting Kaede to change his mind�
Everyone: *roars loudly* But this is not the AKML, you *blep* *blep*!!!
CheeKy: Oops� I think that�s my cue to get out of here�