| Okay I was a bit skeptical walking into Kelly's Korner Tavern 'cause it is in Yorba Linda, I thought it was going to full of Clownshoes and rich-bitch whitegirls. Well I can now say honestly that I am no longer a skeptic...I was totally right. This joint was wall-to-wall Clownshoes and chock full of underaged whitegirls looking for sausage, which was not in short supply I think the guy-girl ratio was 20:1, unfortunately for them none of the Clownshoes there were up to the challenge. It was, seriously, like watching a Junior highschool dance where the guys stay on one side of the room and the girls on the other side. Fucking Priceless! One good thing is the beers are $1, which is way cool, except that you have to deal with a dumbass bitch of a bartendress, which will now be refered to as Dumb Bitch. Okay now let me run you through my experience with her because I think I might be biased. Note: the following is as close as I can remember, to the actual conversationl...$1beers = faulty memory (after standing at the bar for 5 minutes she finally comes over from doing nothing to take my order) Dumb Bitch: ... (waves her hand) Frank: ... (It was really loud and I assumed she was either deaf or dumb so I put up 4 fingers) D.B.: 4 what? Frank: 4 beers (I point towards the rows of pre-poured beers on the counter behind her) D.B.: what kind? Frank: what do you have? D.B.: What do you want? Frank: 4 beers D.B.: What kind do you want? Frank: What kind do you have? D.B.: Name a Brand Frank: Which beers are $1? D.B.: Domestics are a buck Frank: Okay I'll have 4 of those D.B.: what kind? Frank: I don't care I just want 4 $1 beers...Surprise me... D.B.: ... (gives me a nasty look and goes off to get my beers) Okay, maybe I was a bit of a jerk but, Fuck That Bitch! How hard is it to get 4 beers from the many rows of pre-poured beers she had lined up on the counter behind her? I shit you not! She didn't have to pour me a beer all she had to do was grab 4 from the pile. If I gave a shit what I wanted to drink I would have said something like "4 Rolling Rocks" or "I'll have 2 Bass Ale's and 2 Seven and 7's". Fucking retard! It's Kelly's Korner you don't exactly have a very discerning type of drinker coming in there. The only reason anyone is there id for $1 beers so deal with it! I'm getting all pissed off talking about her so , I need to stop. So the night goes on and we are all having a good time, it's Echo, Melissa, and Tony who comprise the rest of the group. Maybe after 4 beers someone bumps Tony, it's one of the many Fred Durst look-alikes that populate the bar, unfortunately for him and his buddy, they decided to play some foos ball at the table right next to us. They were having a good time then the guy fucks up and spills Echo's beer all over her...Yo! You are fucked now Jack! Quick as lightning Tony is on him the guy turns around and starts apologizing and offers to buy her a beer. Okay... so the situation was diffused ? Wrong! Fred Durst walks off and doesn't buy the beer. So now Tony calls the guy over and asks him what happened to the beer. They dude says-- get this-- "Relax man, I'll get it" I thought I was going to get sprayed with teeth and blood when Tony stoot-slapped this fag but, instead Tony got in his face and says in his best tough guy voice "If I wasn't relaxed you would know it." I almost laughed out loud! The guy tried to walk off like a tough guy but ended up going over to the bar, bought Echo her beer(she didn't drink it) and then walked out the door. Fucking Soup-Sandwich!!! The rest of the night the guy scurried around doing his best to avoid Tony's gaze. Now let me just tell you a little bit about the 5 foot muscle man bouncer with the tiny dagger tattooed on his tricep. He's 5 feet tall, he obviously works out and, he walks around like he's carrying a barrel. Seriously! He tries so hard to constantly pose and show of his arms. I would have laughed if it wasn't so fucking sad. I was waiting for him to just rip his shirt off and start greasing himself up. I think he was going to before he realized how fucking soup-sandwich he was then he just shut up and hid in the corner. Bottom Line: $1 Wednesday's are back if you don't mind Dumb Bitches, Dumb Blondes, dozens of Clownshoes, 2 soup-sandwiches and Tony kicking your ass. |
| Blow Me I'm Going to Kick Your Ass! |
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