With An Extremely High Gay Quotient.
Was it Seth lamenting his horrible Newport Beach existance? Was it Chino, looking down the barrel of fatherhood at seventeen? Was it watching Summer discuss her vibrating personality? Could it have possibly been Carson, Surfboard Luke's big gay dad, playing footsies under the dinner table with Sandy Cohen? No, the minute "The OC" went way too far is when I was forced to sit through Marissa's sauced up breakdown in her seaside villa.
Oh the shame of it....four months we've been waiting for the return of "The OC." FOUR LONG MONTHS. I expected the show to come out swinging. Instead, all I got was a violent urge to throw my t.v. over the balcony and then buy a new Mustang (Marissa's new "getaway car"--just another reason to toss that patio set right in the fucking pool!) I practically fell asleep through the first half, waking up only to hear Summer stating that she wasn't going to put up with a bitch on a boat and to notice that the Big Gay Dad had the nicest interior design of all the families.
I should also mention the incredibly high number of gay references in this episode. 1.) Luke having to kiss a nameless girl in order to reaffirm to the viewers that he is not, in fact, gay like his Pops. 2.) Seth's nervous twitches when he thought Chino might be running away for good---then the curiously "uncomfortable" moment at the door when it was obvious that both longed to be in each other's arms. 3.) Mr. Big Gay Dad has a new boyfriend. Yummy!
Anyway, the second half was filled with watching Theresa's fetus spontaneously combust, drawing me in like the sick fuck that I am. Thinking that Chino would finally be able to show off his acting chops with a highly emotional scene, the show instead revealed to me just how low it would go. No, that baby ain't dead---she's gonna raise it on her own. Let the hilarity ensue!
It used to be that after a long absence, The OC would take a short while to come back to coolness. Let's hope that's still true.
Anyway, I eventually got my laughs after I flipped over to Reno 911. Watch that show---it rocks.
