Well I'm in my new place. DSL makes it easier to surf the net (muuuucccch easier) so I may update the site and my Live 365 station more.
Anyway one of the things I was looking forward to being on my own was Direct TV. I watched some stations that my cable company didn't carry over a friend's house and I quite desired the Direct TV. However it appears that I didn't get the same Direct TV he did. His Boomerrang channel had cool shows like "Thundarr The Barbarian" and "Pirates of Dark Water". My Boomerang shows mostly Smurfs, Snorks, bears (Yogi), cats (Top) and doos (Scooby). No barbarians or pirates (albeit Dave is on Toon Disney). His NFL Network showed cool replays of past games (all the action but none of the huddles or filler) but my NFL Network has the Arizona Cardinals mini-camp and several airings of a Daunte Culpepper interview.
The same thing happened when my cable company got TV Land. Wasn't the same. My friends TV land had Shazam and Superman but mine has "Three's Company", "Sanford and Son" and "Rosanne". It didn't change now that I have Direct TV either. Same tripe.
Well "Headbanger's Ball" is on MTV 2 so off I go to watch. BTW: I thought they were suppose to be the network that plays videos since MTV doesn't anymore but what's with the "Celebrity Deathmatch" and reality stuff. Oh well, I hope Direct TV will pick up MTV 3 when it starts. And I want Anime Network. Couldn't they have thought of a better name like Animania or Aniema. Later.
04/22/05
I went from frustrated at not finding a place to moving in to a new place in less then a week. To top it off, the lady gave me first dibs because she was impressed with my professionalism over the phone. A true reversal of fortunes. Let God be praised.
04/18/05
Well today was a little better although I was more irritable with my students than I would have liked. Nothing happened to address what I talked about yesterday (see below) but the only choices we can make in the present is how to handle the situations life brings us. Making the right choices earlier allow more flexibility and/or better options later on but sometimes you are where you're at. I'm resisting the temptation to delete yesterday's post, it makes me look like I'm a whiner. However I made a decision to open myself, my feelings and my faith and its all for nothing if I don't acknowledge the negative feelings. Being a Born-Again Christian doesn't make all the ouchies go away but its good to know that a loving God "has my back" so to speak. Without that, life would be a truly horrifying proposition. That's all, thanks yet again.
04/17/05
Well the risk of doing an online journal is that sometimes you have to talk about the negative as well as the positive. At least if one hopes to do something positive with it and maintain some intergrity and with that in mind I have to tell you this week sucked.
The first of my two major hang-ups is the aftermath of being rejected by the girl (see two enteries down). The rejection isn't what's bumming me but rather the fact that she never responded to me personally. I wonder how much time it would take to write a note or send an E-Mail. I don't know if I offended her or if she is afraid to hurt my feelings or what. When I see her she looks down (like a child trying to hide, its kinda funny in a way), not that I would approach her, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. In all honesty I have to say I did write in the letter that a response isn't necessary but have any of us ever did something even when told we didn't have to. The non response makes me feel insignificant, like I don't matter.
The second hang-up is worse. I need to find a place to live in a short period of time. Its not going well but what upsets me is the lack of common courtesy I've encountered. One number I called told me to call back at 8. I did so and was told the person I needed to talk to would call back in a few minutes. Its been 5 days. I left a voice message also, no response. Another place I called told me that the place was being fixed up and should be ready to be looked at in a couple of days. I called back on the day she said and she responded that it had been rented and hung up on me. I was shown another place, it was quite sizable for a great price. I decided to take it and he accepted but later he called and said that he was sorry but he rented it to someone else who looked the same day. The real problem is that was a positive experience comparatively speaking. At least he called and apologized (see previous paragraph and compare), and said he would be proud to have me as a tenant if something else came open. I can accept almost anything as long as someone takes the time to explain it to me and I know that they like and/or respect me. I think very highly of this person for being upfront with me but bottom line I still didn't get the place.
I'm also ashamed to admit that for various reasons I haven't been to church in two weeks . I really want to find the small fellowship discussed in Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life" (chapters 18-20 I believe) but I'm not sure where to start. The church I mentioned in "Gratitude" has very little for singles my age. I'll try a larger church about 40 minutes away next Sunday. Hope I find something there.
Again, sorry for the whining but I honestly think it would be misleading and irresponsible to only write about the good stuff in my life. I honestly believe I'll have something positive happen at some point but I wish I knew when.
As always thanks for reading.
04/06/05
A Question of Talent
Yesterday at work I was listening to a song from the upcoming 30 Seconds To Mars CD "A Beautiful Lie"(summer 2005). I don't have broadband at my house so the audio cuts out here. Anyway my fellow teachers made good sport of this loud music with screaming singer. "What is this stuff" they asked.
I thought about the meaning of talent. My definition has two components: 1) the ability to do something that the vast majority of people can't do/ do nearly as well and 2) the willingness of others to pay / experience/ benefit from the aforementioned ability (or at least the potenial to if pursued). Just because a vocalist screams/shouts/screeches/shrieks/growls doesn't mean that he/she is untalented because they don't "sing" in the classic style. Try to scream/shout/growl passionately and/or menacingly for two or more hours. Can't do it huh? And chances are these guys make a lot more money than you.
Hey, I know where they are coming from. I enjoy Wagnerian opera or Beethoven's 9th very much (and unlike them with my music I have those in my collection) but I can enjoy someone who pours his/her heart out with passion and a voice that can bring it to life even if it isn't technically perfect. If you are one of those I'm addressing here know I say this in love. If I didn't like extreme music I'd probably say the same thing.
Later.
04/05/05
Well for those that read "Gratitude" I would like to put an end to the story about the girl and bottom line, I wrote a letter asking if I could get to know her better and well it didn't work. I heard from a 4th party (yeah that's right) that she liked someone else and wasn't interested. I can't say it was unexpected. My only regret is that I put someone I consider a friend (her best friend) in an awkward position by asking her about it. (BTW: if you are one of these people mentioned and you reading this you should know that I tell all on here so don't act surprised).
Where to now boss? Don't know but I'll tell you this: everything in my "Gratitude" essay still holds true. My relationship with God is not contingent on my relationship with anyone else. I'm just glad that I didn't require a disaster in my life to bring me back where I should be. Whatever the future holds I'm ready. As the song says "On this day, I see clearly: everything has come to life; a bitter place and a broken dream, we'll leave it all behind". I would go through twice as much for this chance of escape from the abyss of indifference and another chance to be alive and thank God on my knees for the chance.
Final word: next time will be different, believe that!
04/02/05
The New Reformation revisited:
I just reread my essay entitled "The New Reformation" and thinking about if I've changed my mind on anything.
I have to say that I still hold most of the opinions expressed there but I probably would have been less abrasive but then again it would have been a less interesting read. Like any other human enterprise you must grow and improve or you are doomed to failure and death.
BTW: Pope John Paul II passed away today (I'm sure all are aware). I don't agree with all of his or the Catholic church's beliefs but I respect him for standing up for what he believed, even if it ran contrary to the more liberal wing of his church. I also admire the way he performed his duties almost to the end regardless of the pain or discomfort. As a Fox guest said: he showed a world that values youth the ability of an old, unhealthy man to affect the world should never be underrated. RIP.
03/30/05
I want to clarify something from my "Gratitude" essay. Toward the end of the essay I discussed my chances of going out with the girl I liked. In essence I said I didn't have much of a chance of success. That may lead some of you to the understandable conclusion that I lack confidence in myself. Allow me to clear that misconception up: I have never had more confidence in my ability to accomplish my goals socially or otherwise than I have at this moment in my life for reasons alluded to in "Gratitude". I will attempt to accomplish many tasks in the upcoming weeks and months and I fully expect to be successful at most if not all of them.
As for the instance in "Gratitude" I was analyzing the challenge I set before myself and couldn't help but think that success would be difficult. Which brings me to this: the difficulty of accomplishing any said goal is no excuse to fail. Sometimes circumstances go your way and when that happens one must take full advantage and grab the brass ring ASAP. Other times circumstances are tougher but that doesn't make failure OK. You do the best you can and see what happens. I realize that failure in life is inevitable but I will not accept it in my life on any kind of regular basis. If it should happen, I will analyze the situation, figure what could have been done better and be successful the next time I attempt a similar task (and in the case in my essay there will be a next time until I succeed).
One to grow on: I will gladly give God the glory for my successes but I refuse to share my failures with anyone or anything. As always, thanks for reading.
03/23/05
I read this article about a study regarding "True Love Waits", a Christian program where teens make a promise to abstain from sex until marriage. Click on the underlined this (or here) to read it (you have to register for the LA Times website but its free) then come back to discuss.
For those who couldn't read it, the basic premise is that a study has shown that those teens who take the pledge are no more likely to avoid STDs than those who don't. Oh, where to begin? How about here: I can guarantee you that no teen who has KEPT the pledge (excepting rape victims) has ever contracted an STD. Second, "True Love Waits" is not a public health awareness plan, it is a spiritual program designed to encourage teens to fulfill God's plan and purpose concerning love, sex and marriage. Third, the lack of birth and disease control knowledge referred to in the article is a result of the upbringing of the teens not the program. It only stands to reason that teens who are brought up in a Christian household that emphasizes abstinance and may not be as open about birth control methods (as the people who subscribe to this way of thinking will tell you loud and often) would be more likely to be at an event like this.
Toward the end of the article a sociology professor contends that abstinance only programs are unrealistic. Its also unrealistic to expect criminals to cease robbing, beating and killing people but we don't stop trying to prevent it from happening. Bottom line: it is never a good thing for younger people to be having sex. I do believe there is a place for education about birth and disease prevention in school. I would hate to see someone's bright future ruined by a mistake but abstinance is the only surefire way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs and should be the focal point of any sex education program.
For more on "True Love Waits", click here
03/21/05
I'm back. It's been too long. If you haven't read "Gratitude" yet I hope that you will do so. I didn't bare my soul just to be ignored. BTW on a side note these wireless keyboards are cool... except when you have to change batteries while typing as I just did.
Wise Old Sayings
This is a new segment I'm adding to the Rantdown as I share a new perspective on some old wisdom.
#1: You must establish the run.
Okay the non sports fans can skip to the next one. I find this untrue. A football team must be able to run the ball only if they are trying to win. If the team cares not if they win then why can't their happy butts throw the thing 75 times? Furthurmore, ever play Madden? Not only can the human throw on every down and win but the computer doesn't run that much either . Football guru John Madden doesn't consider this saying important enough to ensure his own game follows it. Lastly, in Arena Football the run is a trick play akin to the fake punt in real football and in every game I have watched one of the two teams has won. I haven't much use for this one.
#2: Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration
When is the last time you saw a doctor doing construction work? This saying is almost true; it should read "Genius is 10% his inspiration and 90% his underlings perspiration". (For a more politically correct saying add "/her" to the end of his (his/her), for a more feminist friendly version replace his with her).
#3: A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't get this one, I think it has something to do with hunting. I do know that a bird fully roasted or fried on my plate makes a mighty tasty meal. Yum, yum, yum.
#4: If you don't succeed, try try again
Is this always good advice? What if I'm trying to develop my latent magic powers? If fire doesn't spew from my fingertips the first time shall I stay in the desert until I get it right? I don't know, use this one sparingly.
Recommended viewing: Dragons
This was an awesome special on Animal Planet detailing a "what if we found dragon fossils". The computer animation is excellent (especially the pre mating sequence) and the speculative science makes sense. I'm sure with as much hype as AP gave it you will be able to catch a rerun. I believe in dragons now (well not quite). Whenever I develop those latent magic powers I'll be able to find one and handle any initial hostility.
Rush to kill
Why are some people in such a rush to see Terry Schiavo die (especially hubby)? Is there any medical evidence that she knows what is happening to her and suffering because of it? I see it this way: if you are an atheist then she just goes into the ground; if you are a believer in the afterlife then she is going to spend eternity in a good place (heaven) or a bad place (hell) with perhaps a short stop in a holding cell (Purgatory). Eternity is a long time and if she's in the good place will have literally all the time in the world to enjoy it and if its the bad place what's the rush? (just looking at the possibilities).
On another note some have accused Republicans of playing politics with this issue. That may or may not be true (the distributed memo about this issue by Republican strategists was disturbing) but I do know that the Democrats are definately playing politics by making these accusations. I try to maintain neutrality on this site (LOL) but the Democrats have crossed any line any sensible person would draw by doing this. If they believe the feeding tube should be removed then fine, work to that end but don't impune the motives of those in the other party who may be acting on a sincere belief that this woman should be given any possible chance to recover and live all the life God intended for her.
Thats it. C U Soon (maybe).
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