No Christmas
Slide Over Here...
Sleazy Santa
Missing Elf
Snowmen
Timmy's Last Christmas
Icicles
Cajun Christmas
The Christmas Chair
Have You Been Bad?
...Laying His Finger Aside of His Nose...
HoHoHo...heheh :)
Hear Cartman, from South Park,
sing 'O Holy Night'
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A Christmas Story
All I Want for Christmas
No Carrots
Safe Christmas Greeting
Rude Snowman
Santa: An Engineer's Perspective
Snow Lady
Christmas Carols for
the Psychiatrically Challenged
Christmas Money
Mistletoe
Dear Santa
Rudolph
Happy Hanukka
Christmas Eve in Brooklyn
'Twas the night before Christmas,
da whole house was mellow,
not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun unda my pillow.
When up on da roof,
I hoid somet'in pound...
I sprung to da window
to scream "KEEP IT DOWN!"
When what to my
wanderin' eyes should appear,
but dat hairy elf, Vinnie,
and eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit a bad hackin' cough,
and da stench o' boiped beer,
I knowed in a moment
Yo, da Kringle dude wuz here!
Wit a slap to dere snouts,
and a yank on dere manes,
he cursed and he shouted,
and called dem by name:
Yo Tony, Yo Frankie!
Yo Sally, Yo Vito!
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie!
Ay Pepe', Ay Guido!
As I drew out my gun
and hid by da bed,
down came his friggin' boot
on da top o' my head!
His eyes wuz all bloodshot,
his B.O. was scary...
his breath was like sewage,
he had a mole dat wuz hairy!
He spit in my eye,
and he twisted my head;
he soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
Den pointin' a fat finga
right unda my nose,
he let out some gas
and up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
obscenities a-screamin',
and away dey all flew
before he troo dem a beatin'.
But I hoid him exclaim,
or better yet - *grump*:
"Merry Christmas to all,
and bite me, ya chump!"
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