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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| Sometimes I’ll pick up the phone and just dial a number at random. | If somebody answers I’ll say “monkey sphincter, monkey sphincter, ho ho ho, merry christmas”, at which point they usually hang up. | But if they stay on then I’ll say “you sir, are a monkey sphincter lover; there’s nothing wrong with that though. Different pokes for different folks I always say.” | “But if you come near my house I’ll shoot you with my monkey rifle, YOU FREAK!” |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| Sometimes I’m happy. | Sometimes I’m sad. | Sometimes I’m in between. | Could you hand me the toilet paper? |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| Sometimes I don’t know what to do; and so I do nothing. | Sometimes I don’t know what to do; so I do all sorts of stuff. | Sometimes I don’t know what to do; so I fuck your sister, she’s such a slut. | Sometimes I don’t know what to do; so I fuck your mama in her tight little butt. |
But it’s not little, not no more! |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| Have you ever been sitting around watching TV? | And then you feel like you gotta fart? | So you fart. | And then you gotta leave the room!? |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| Once a week I go see my stomp therapist. | To get my testicles stomped. | It’s the only way I can get off you know. | And when I’m through I’ll say to my therapist, “Baby, you know how to stomp right.” |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| I met this girl the other day and I want to make her mine. | I want to make her mine because I love to eat her snatch. | I called in sick to work the other day and stayed home all day and ate her snatch. | I like the way her snatch tastes. It tastes better than jelly beans! |
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Punk Ass Bitch |
By Jeff Wright |
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| There’s this one girl and she’s like totally kind of really good looking. | I want to take a Milky Way candy bar and shove it up her ass and then eat it. | Not the candy bar, that’s gross, I want to eat her ass! |
