| Hey! Well we went to the Fish gig last night, and really I feel that I should be asleep and resting my aching body. It is bruised and twisted. Well anyway, on with the report! |
| It all started when I (Dave) left my house half way through Neighbours to catch the 1 o'clock bus to Salisbury. As I left my house, I saw a tramp-like figure running towards me and shouting my name. I turned, and there it was in all its glory...Purchase in full flow in his grey suit. He caught up with me and we met Foss at the Working Men's Club. Then we got on the bus, meeting Monsieur Fish (Chris) and Ben in Durrington. |
| We got to Salisbury and headed straight for McDonalds (tm) where we had a greasy meal, and Purchase began complaining about needing a shit. After this, I realised that as Ben, Chris and Purch were in suits (Chris looking particularly rude) I would have to buy one. I went to the Scope shop and picked up a nice bargain smelly suit jacket for �4.45. The old dear behind the counter even threw in a dirty old necklace for me. I told her to keep the change from a fiver, cos I'm just that sorta guy. Some old woman asked me where we were going. I tried to explain, but she was more interested in telling me about the bargain I'd picked up. Anyway, we left for the train station and got there just in time. |
| We got on the train at 2 or something and sat in loads of space. We suddenly realised that Purch looked like Borat in his quality suit and began to take the piss. It was soon after this that Purch went for his first shit of the day. We soon found out that alcohol isn't always needed to make us rowdy, as we started to do Borat impressions and shouting 'Arse' very loudly on the train. Also while on the train, Purch began to sweat and bite his finger nails. The 'Bargain Wagon' which sells Kit-Kats for 60p, had beer on it. Unfortunately for Purch, the monkey railway worker didn't hear us asking him to stop. However, Purch recovered from his anxiety and there was no need for first aid. |
| We got to Portsmouth at about quarter to four. We started to walk about to find the Pyramid Centre, and went to a newsagents who lied to us, and sent us the wrong way. We then stopped a policeman and he told us our best bet was to get a cab. Purch swore at him and we went and climbed in a 5seater. The Cabbie was quality and it only cost �3.90. We then went in search of a public house to get 'rat-arsed' in. We stumbled across the Jolly Sailor and were all set to go in, until Heaphy pointed out the homosexuals enjoying lager tops, so we quickly ran away. |
| A quick walk down the road and away from the benders bar led us to the Emptifish in. This was a quality place. Prices weren't too bad, barmaid wasn't hideous and atmosphere was good. It was good enough for us to consume vast amounts of alcohol until we decided it was time to find an Off-License. Me, Purch and Ben went to look for one and two kind middle-aged birds gave us a lift to Southsea town centre. She showed us where Debenhams was...I don't know why, and then we jumped out of her car. The ride was fine, but had I been sober it would have been rather frightening. She swore at other innocent road users, and kaned it round these tight corners. |
| We got to a tramp park, and began to drink Scrumpy, Vodka Ice and Stella. Then, at around 640 we decided to go and queue for the gig. We spoke to some other dudes already there, and made some friends, such as comedy Ian. After that me and Ben went to find a toilet and watched Uncle Brian practice for a bit. Then we spoke to John Birch, their drummer, and went in. We don't mind admitting, with me 1st of course, that we were the 1st 5 people into the gig. We chatted to Uncle Dan and John for a bit and checked out the Merch stand. Ben bought a silly patch saying 'Rude Boys' on it for �2.50 and later said that he thought that "this was a Dave thing to buy." |
| The first band up was Uncle Brian. They were fucking cool. The new line-up is going down a Barnstormer, interestingly enough this is what Birch sells to us most weekends. Brian played some of the Barbeque Music album and some new ones. The Portsmouth crowd were loving it. After being crushed at the front I went to get a pint. I was pleased to bump into all the crew; Tom, Louise, Mark Mack, James, John Jenkins, Glenn....the gangs all ere. The Chief was also there. |
| Now it was the turn of Lubby Nugget to entertain us. They were totally rude and apologised to Foss for not playing Flesh Pimp. Again being at the front I was crushed, but fucking loved it. There are bloody loads of those Nugget dudes, and they were all excellent. I tripped over a load of people to get to the bar after the set, and found a half-naked Mack and fully clothed James sitting on the floor. We drunkenly discussed the hazards of moshing and I then had the same conversation with Tom at the bar. |
| Now it was time for the main event...Reel Big Fish. I squirmed my way to the front and managed to stand next to Foss at the front. When the Fish came out we went a bit mad......or completely, and were fucking impressed when they played their set. A combination of Why Do They Rock So Hard and Turn The Radio Off, and some new stuff. They played the favourites...You Don't Know, Down In Flames, Trendy, among others. Ben and Birch were by now up front with me and Foss and Tom was there too. The Fish finished off with Take On Me, with the Nugget crew on stage too. At the end, Aaron threw out a few RBF plectrums and I caught one of the bastards... in the words of a towny..."sweet mate." I went and got a Lubby Nugget cd for a tenner, and went to leave. What a fucking show! |
| Next page....beotch. |
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| Reel Big Fish- Portsmouth Pyramid Centre, 19th June 2001 |