REFLECTIONS

(part three of three)

All the things Amidala had thought about saying to him disappeared when she met his cold uncaring gaze.  It was the complete opposite of the warm blue-eyed gaze he had captured her in so long ago.

Everything in the room disappeared except for him and the rhythmic sound of his breathing.  It almost reminded Amidala of the moment between them the day he had asked her if she was an angel, except everything was different now.  If she had once been an angel, she now could be considered a fallen angel.  What would that make Ani?  Well, he had once been a slave, and now was one again.  A slave to the dark side.  And the husband of a fallen angel.  What were the children then?  Amidala wondered.  The only ones left to free the slave...

Amidala wondered how much time she had left to live, had it been three hours?  The whole time Amidala did not look away from the machine before her, though, which surprised both of them.  She didn't think she had the strength left, and yet here it was, come to *save* her in this desperate situation.

"Amidala."  He said the word in an unrecognizable voice; it was certainly not the voice of Anakin Skywalker.

Her eyes filled with tears when she heard her name spoken as a foreign word, one that no longer mattered.

"Amidala."  He repeated again, his mechanic voice breaking a bit this time.

The tears decided to break free and worked their way down her pale, stained cheeks.

Her jaw began to tremble, and her hand clenched and unclenched in anticipation.

She was so bony, so mistreated, and yet she still shone to Vader.

A tiny voice inside him said *this is what YOU'VE done to your wife.*

He silenced the voice, *there is nothing I can do for her now.*

"Tell me where Obi-Wan has hidden our son," he demanded and tried to probe her mind.

But she had the mental blocks ready, and she used the last of her strength to make them work.  "He is not YOUR son.  He is Anakin's," she replied icily.

Vader did not reply; he continued to try to work past the mental blocks.

"Did you hear me?"  She shouted now, her whole body shaking, "HE IS NOT YOUR SON!"

A gloved hand hit her across the face and knocked her onto her side.

"He IS my son and you will take me to him," he hissed.

"I would rather die!" Amidala declared and rose to her feet defiantly.

"You know I am capable of killing you," Vader threatened.

"And I also know that YOU, Ani, won't," Amidala replied.

"Ah, but according to you, the father of your son no longer exists."

"That is not what I said," Amidala spat.

"Really?"

"Don't try to turn my words against me, Vader, because I am not playing games!"

"Neither am I.  My Master wants Luke, so I will do as he asks."

"Your 'Master' is nothing but a rotten, smelly, wrinkled dewback and you know it!"

"Would you care to repeat that in his presence?"

"I would not care to BE in his presence, that ignorant-"

Vader interrupted her, "I did not send for you to put up with your insults, I brought you here to find the whereabouts of Luke."

"If you think I'll be the one to supply that to you, then you brought me here for nothing.  You should know me better than that."  Amidala paused, and decided to chance saying her next thought, "Unlike you, VADER, I have the will-power and a sense of dignity enough to know the difference between right and wrong."  This got him started.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG?  HOW DARE YOU AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN THROUGH!  THE JEDI WERE UNFEELING CREATURES, NOT AN OUNCE OF CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT MATTERS, SO DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S RIGHT AND WRONG.  I ALREADY KNOW!"

Amidala's face became impassive and with a hint of anger she said, "Anakin Skywalker, the day you convince yourself that is the truth will truly be the day YOU DIE, because you know as well as I that you made a mistake."

"Then Anakin IS already dead."  Vader replied, his voice matching her tone.

"Yes, he must be, because HE wouldn't have left me in a prisoner cell!  He wouldn't have forced me to hide my only son, HE CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT ME ALL ALONE!  HE was my life, so I suppose I am dead as well," Amidala cried. Then she remembered *I'm going to BE dead soon...*

Vader did not respond.

"If you think I am so weak to let you do to my son what you've done to yourself than Anakin IS truly dead.  I would never let my son become a monster like YOU."

Vader still did not respond.

"And you will not believe how crazy this has driven me, all those long hours in the cell remembering every hour I spent with Anakin, missing him, missing YOU.  You are still my husband, and I hate you for that.  Hate you for the blood of the innocent you add unto my name, and hate you for the thing you've become.  But I will let you in on a secret- one I hate along with the rest of the things..."

Vader waited.

"I-"  Amidala's face became pale, and her knees buckled.  The three hours were apparently up.

"still-"  Her eyes became crossed, out of focus.

"love-"  The hand Amidala reached toward Vader fell down with a sudden urgency, and she fell backwards so that she was lying on her back...

Then her head began to fall to the side.  One last whisper of her final word escaped as her mouth as her heart stopped beating... "-You."

And her body was still, unreal, unmoving.

As unreal as Anakin became when he looked into her lifeless eyes with regret and hardened himself so this magnitude of hurt would never plague him again...