REFLECTIONS
(Part two of three)
Amidala did not have a window in the ship, so she contemplated on what she would say when she saw him.
"Hi, how many people did you kill today?"
"So, how's Anakin doing in there?"
"Is that snot Palpatine treating YOU well?"
"Have you ever been locked away for a while? It's really lonely, you know."
"Thanks, you've been such a great help."
"You know the worst thing that's ever happened to me? Being called Lady Vader."
"Um, real nice talking to ya...but since you don't care, I guess I'll see you later."
Amidala sighed and decided to think about better times instead. The thought of facing Vader was more than tearing her apart already...
With the clone wars starting, romance was not Amidala had on her mind. Apparently, though, that was not true for Anakin Skywalker. He was loving the war since it gave him an excuse to be NEAR her. Amidala did not like the closeness at all. The crush had grown since his last visit and so had he. Now Amidala was constantly at war with her self, reminding herself that he WAS five years younger than her, after all. Not a boy anymore, but close enough to it. He stared a lot more now and she hated it in a magnitude. As the queen, she liked to feel strong, but that look almost made her knees buckle. She told him a few times to stop it. "Don't look at me like that," she begged, her breath coming out in short, quick intervals. "Why not?" Anakin asked, fixating her in his gaze. She finally broke eye contact and answered, "Because it makes me feel uncomfortable..."
Maybe if she had gotten away then, she wouldn't be on this ship now. But, there was no turning back time, and her love had paid off in two days at least. The first was Luke, and the second was Leia. Anakin never found out about Leia, which was another good thing in the bad situation. And much as she hated it, she STILL loved the man who lived behind that black mask. She had fallen for him so deeply that there was no way out...
Anakin was coming to visit her, on an actual VACATION. She had no idea how the council had agreed to it, but that was of no importance. HE WAS COMING HERE! Her stomach tied itself into knots and she was nearly dying. Over the time he had stayed at the Palace, Amidala had gotten closer towards Anakin and come to terms with herself. So what if he's younger? She thought. She couldn't wait to see him. She stood there, biting her nails and practically started jumping as the ship finally became visible. It seemed it took the LONGEST time possible to land, but when it did, Amidala couldn't help herself. She ran towards it. The hatch opened and Anakin stepped out.
"Ani!" She gushed and pulled him into a big bear hug. He fell over since he was not expecting the welcome.
"Wow!" He said when she finally let go and helped him up. Amidala grinned.
"I missed you," she admitted.
"You have NO idea," he answered.
He took her hand and they decided to go for a walk...
Amidala could feel the ship starting to land. After going through that memory of Anakin, she realized how much she missed him. This made her sob even harder because he was gone now. And she would have to face the monster he had become. She looked around the room and searched for a way out. There was none. She reached into her pocket and took out the vile. She could see why the jedi wanted to believe Anakin was dead. He might have been better off that way, she thought. Then I would always remember him as the Anakin he once was, not the Vader he now is...
Amidala was frightened. This is not my husband, she told herself and backed away from Anakin's fury.
"I didn't ask for this!" he yelled and thrashed his arm out, toppling over decorations and vases.
Amidala's face was white. What if he tried to hurt her? Or her child? Amidala's hand instinctively went to her stomach.
"THIS IS ALL OBI-WAN'S FAULT!" he screamed and threw the nearest object he could grab against the wall. When it shattered he fell to his knees, then to the floor and pounded his fist against it. "All- his- fault-" he managed to gasp between sobs.
"Ani?" Her voice came out. Quietly and quivering.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE?" he faced Amidala and shouted at her.
She froze. He stared at her and his face twisted in agony. His eyes filled with pain and tears ran down his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered and crawled to where she was standing. "Please, Amidala, forgive me."
She swallowed and breathed out, "Okay." She bent to his level and lifted his head up.
"Of course I care about you," she said, her voice shaking and her tears adding to his own. "Of course," she added, and he kissed her and pulled her close.
"I am SO sorry," he whispered once more in her ear.
She nodded, and for hours they stayed there, kneeling on the floor and holding each other...
Amidala suddenly remembered the contents of the vile would take three hours to act. She gulped the disgusting liquid down for her children's protection, only for them, just in time. The door slid open. It was those storm troopers again.
"Come with us," they commanded, and they grabbed her arms.
With a sudden act of defiance she pulled her arms out of their grip. "I can handle MYSELF, thank you." She spat, and was surprised when they didn't reply. She followed them, out of the ship and into a dull building she did not recognize. She realized trying to escape was pointless and would get her nowhere. Unless...she eyed their blasters. Before she had any time to think up a plan a door to her left opened and they led her in.
"Wait here," were her last directions, and the door was sealed shut.
She was in what seemed like it had once been a briefing room. It was fairly large with a table and chairs in the middle. She slumped down in one of them, and she felt the same apprehension she had felt the day she waited for Anakin; except this time it was with fearful feeling. Amidala waited and waited...and soon her eyelids grew heavy. She yawned and tried to stay awake, but she found that just wasn't possible...
Amidala locked herself up and cried for three days straight. Sabe, Sache, and Dorme took it upon themselves to take care of Leia during the time Amidala was unable to. Sabe's daughter Shante loved watching Sabe take care of Leia. Shante was four years old and was fascinated with babies.
"I wanna hold Leia, mommy."
"Mmmeee," Leia mimicked and wiggled around in Sabe's arms.
"Here sweetie, be careful. Hold her just how I showed you," Sabe handed Leia to Shante. Leia grinned up at her and Shante smiled and handed her back to Sabe.
"She smiled at me mommy, did you see that?" Shante asked excitedly.
"I sure did see that," Sabe answered and smiled.
"Loooo," Leia said and pointed towards her toys. "Loooo."
Sabe sighed. "Luke went bye-bye, Leia. But you can still play with the toys."
Leia turned her head and look questioningly at Sabe. "Looo?"
Sabe set her down next to the toys. "You'll see him again someday," she whispered, as an afterthought.
Dorme came into the room brushing her hands against each other. "Everything Al right?" she asked, and looked to Sabe's face for the answer.
"Leia's missing Luke, but I think she'll be okay." Sabe answered, and she took her daughter's hand in her own. "Come on, Shante. We can eat breakfast now."
Dorme watched them leave, and then turned towards Leia. "Well, hi there, Leia," she cooed and Leia gave her a wide eyed look.
"Mmmeee?" She asked.
"No, mommy is- asleep right now. She'll be awake soon."
"Mmmeee." Leia answered and turned her attention towards the toys.
"Yes...maybe I should check on her. Stay here for a second, Leia."
Dorme poked her head out of the door, and knocked on the door to the room right next to it. "Sache?" She called. She heard some muffled movement from inside the room and a sleepy looking Sache poked her head out. "Yes?"
"Sorry if I woke you up, but do you think you can watch Leia for a second? I want to check on Amidala, see if she's feeling any better, and Sabe is taking a breakfast break."
Sache looked around. "I don't know if Amidala will be up for a while. She's had so many problems with what happened to..." Sache dropped her voice a notch. "...to Anakin, and now she gets her son taken from her. We all know it's for the best, but children are a hard thing to lose-"
Dorme cut in, "Then I suppose I'll have to remind her she still has Leia and should spend as much time with her as she has left."
Sache nodded. "Just be...gentle about it."
"Of course," Dorme replied, "So you'll watch Leia for me for a few minutes?"
"Gladly. Bring her in here, though."
"Okay."
Once Leia had been taken care of, Dorme headed out to Amidala's chamber. She hesitated, as if unsure whether to knock or not, and then made up her mind.
Knock knock.
"Amidala?" she asked in a hushed voice.
She waited but heard nothing. It was what she had expected, of course, since they had tried so many times to talk to her before. Dorme was about to head back when she heard a tiny, "Come in."
She entered the room and found Amidala sitting up in her bed, her face red and tear streaked. "Yes, Dorme?" she asked, wiping her cheeks off.
Dorme found herself at a loss of words, but Amidala waited for her to speak.
Finally she decided on the most direct, yet still gentle way of expressing her thoughts, "Your Highness," she began as she had been accustomed, but didn't bother to correct herself when she realized she had said it. "Your daughter needs you..."
...Amidala woke up because she heard the door slide open. With a jolt, she remembered where she was, and why she was here. And now the door was opening. The knots in her stomach began their movement once again, and she lifted her head up to that hideous breathing sound. Her back was turned to him, and that's the way she wanted to stay. But she could not help it.
Slowly... slowly... ever so slowly, she turned the chair around, and faced him for the first time in two years...