Because of Vader

Ruby-Flame Jedi Queen

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Vader stood, silent and still, overlooking the construction of a spherical monument that, for him, only affirmed the birth of his new identity.  And the unmistakable pain of his loss.

The Emperor, always his most trusted mentor, had not lied to him.  Padme was gone�there was no denying it.  Only a void remained where her soft sincere presence, which had once encased his mind like a protective cocoon�a cocoon that had protected him from the whispers of his darker underpinnings�had once been.  She was truly gone.

�Ani�you�re breaking my heart��

His wife�s tear-streaked, anguished face kept washing away the proud progress of the Death Star before him.  While Vader could no longer feel physical pain in his mechanical limbs, his heart had not completely hardened.  No, this tormented picture of his wife would be etched into his heart forever, a fire upon his singed flesh that could never be extinguished.

What have I done? The feeble, defeated voice of Anakin whispered in the mind of the machine.

She brought this upon herself! She sided with Obi-Wan instead of me! Vader�s raging thought counteracted, determined not to let the door to doubt re-open.  He had made his decision.

��You killed her��

But Palpatine had even said it.  Palpatine had never lied to Anakin before.

And yet, it had been Palpatine who had promised Anakin the power to save her.

Anakin had done all of this for her�

Liar! You did it for yourself! The feeble voice suddenly erupted with such force that Vader had to swat a hand at it in order to shake away this line of thought.

To anyone watching, this swatting gesture appeared like Lord Vader forcing aside his billowing black cloak.  Only Vader heard the voice growing persistent in his mind.  And with it, echoes of the recent past suddenly resurfaced with a force of their own:

First, his own voice, acknowledging the whispers that were now gnawing desperately at his mind,� I want more�I know I shouldn�t��

Then, the quavering voice of the young padawan before his death, �Master Skywalker, what has happened to you? Please don�t hurt us� Pl-�

Finally, two accusations from the two people he had once loved the most.  His master, Obi-Wan, and the woman that he had fallen in love with so long ago on Tatooine:

�You have done that yourself, Anakin!�

�Obi-Wan was right�you�ve�changed.�

Vader had to find a way to escape the accusations, the voices of the past, and the possibilities of what might have been�oh, the possibilities:

Once upon a time, there was a Jedi who was expelled from the Jedi order because he developed an attachment too powerful to resist�

But this was no unhappy tale, for the Jedi and his love moved into a modest Nubian home tucked away in the Nubian hillside.  The refreshing atmosphere of this beloved planet kept his love�s cheeks rosy and her lips painted with a smile.  And so the Jedi was happy.  And when the addition of the child graced their humble abode, the Jedi and his wife became the most loving and devoted parents.  Every night, they would rock the baby to sleep.  The Jedi�s wife would hum a Nubian lullaby to quell the baby�s fears, and the sound of her pure voice would ease the Jedi�s own fears as well.  And then, through the night, the Jedi would hold his beautiful wife in his arms, and think of his perfect family, and feel more content then ever before�

But no such possibilities existed now.  Vader clenched his hands into fists, as if trying to crush the bittersweet fruits of the past, and felt a sudden presence bring a dark, calm clarity to his mind.

�What do you think, Lord Vader? This will be our instrument of peaccccce,� hissed the voice that reminded him of the present.  And of the future.

�It is�quite an accomplishment, my Master,� Vader answered, finally able to concentrate on the structure that loomed before him.

�Indeed, Lord Vader.  Indeed.  The galaxy will be plagued by war no longer.  All of this restoration, this re-construction has made possible by you.  I was right in saying that the Jedi underestimated your abilities.  You alone were able to do what they, as a collective, could not.  All this peace and unity.  All of it, because of you.�

Vader did not know how to respond at first.  Then, with a bit of irony that he quickly bit back, Vader replied, �You are too kind, my Master.�

Yes.  Everything that had happened�the death of Mace Windu, the death of the younglings, the duel with Obi-Wan, the death of the love of his life� All of these things had happened because of him.  Because of Anakin.

No, no. His mind corrected. Not because of Anakin.

Because of Vader.