~ Light travels faster than sound. Thats why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.~
~ Time flys! Get a net.~
~ Be nice to your kids...they'll choose your nursing home.~
~I only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. and MY way... which is really the WRONG way, only faster.~
~ I have not failed! I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work..~
~ I am comfortable in my crazy, are you?~
~ My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn't take me far enough into the woods.~
~ I chose the road less traveled. Now, where am I?~
~ Finding a good man is like trying to nail jello to a wall.~
~ Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.~
~ During a kiss, as many as 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged...~ *EW!*
~Everybody has the right to be ugly, but you're abusing it.~
~I'm not a tease just a reminder of what you can't have.~
~Curiousity didn't kill the cat curiousity made the kittens.~
~My grandmother has this bumper sticker on her car that says sexy senior citizen. You don't want to think of your grandmother that way do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for you birthday.~
~Been there done that got the t-shirt out grew it and gave it away.~
~Do it today...tomorrow it might be illegal.~
~The world is full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their mind.~
~You should hear what the voices in my head are calling you.~
~In some cultures what i do is considered normal.~
~Most lies about blonds are false.~
~I tried to sniff coke once but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.~
~If you try and don't succeed cheat. Repeat until caught then lie.~
~I smile because I have no idea what's going on.~
~I can only please one person a day today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.~
~One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn got lost and is to stubborn to ask for directions.~
~Star light star bright where the heck is Mr. Right.~
~ Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid i'll take over.~
~You laugh because i'm different i laugh because your all the same.~
~Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.~
~I'd like to help you which way did you come in.~
~You can't have everything where would you put it.~
~I like long walks especially those taken by people who annoy me.~
~A penny save is not much.~
~My mind not only wanders sometimes it leaves completely.~
~We are the people our parents warned us about.~
~Roses are red violets are blue i'm schizophrenic and so am I.~
~There are three kinds of people in the world ones that can count and ones that can't count...which of the three are you?~
~If wal*mart is lowering prices everyday...how come nothing in the store is free yet?~
~So if we can't say, "One Nation, under God", then we should say " One Nation Under Canada and above Mexico."~
~My whole life is just one big blonde moment!~
~Smile and the world smiles with you... cry and you'll ruin your mascara.~
~Even if the voices are not real, they have some real good ideas.~
~As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.~