EDUCATING A CHILD IN PURITY
A TALK TO PARENTS

Changing Attitude Toward Child Education
	Our traditional reticence concerning sex is rapidly disap-
pearing. We are living in an atmosphere entirely different
from that in which our parents moved. Formerly it was
considered almost a crime to tell young children how they
caine into the world. That point of view has disappeared
under the pressure of a new drive among educators, doctors,
and others who desire to help parents rear children in a more
scientific way.
	You are well aware of the modern efforts directed toward
preserving the childs health. Our parents thought it silly
to have children examined in school by a doctor or a nurse.
Our parents laughed at these new-fangled ideas of rearing
babies according to detailed medical instruction, of taking
children to medical clinics for examination, of reading
numerous magazines which offer instructions in the health-
care of children.
	But modem mothers seek out such information and
guidance to aid them in their motherly duties. And there
is a widespread campaign today to have mothers and fathers
instruct their children regarding purity and sex. A great
number of parents have already followed the advice of
teachers and doctors in this matter.

The Catholic Attitude Toward Sex Education
	But are Catholic teachers and doctors joining in this
campaign? Are priests interested in it? Does the Church
favor such education? The answer is yes and no. Catholic
educators are wholeheartedly in favor of sex instruction in
the home, but they insist that the instruction be truly Cath-
olic in tone. Many parents are agreeing with these educators
and following their advice. The successes of these parents in
this matter are bringing other mothers and fathers to this
course of action. When parents realize the beauty of purity
as it is expressed by the Catholic Church, all their difficulties
vanish and they are glad, even eager, to give these beautiful
ideas to their children.

Meeting Modern Condition,
	The world today is seemingly sex-mad. Newspapers, maga-
zines, movies, advertisements, even pfople you meetall
seem obsessed with the notion of sex. Sin has come to mean

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only sex sin. Emancipation amid freedom in current
jargon mean only sex emancipation, sex freedom. Naturally
you worry about the future of your youngsters; you wonder
whether or not they will be contaminated by the rot that
surrounds them.

	Indeed you have reason to be afraid. You want to rear
your children correctly, to give them the best of everything;
you want them above all to be pure. But your children are
tempted by the world. Can they be pure when they see sug-
gestive posters and dangerous movies? They are not old
enough to know that advertisers and movie magnates often
appeal to our fallen nature, to the animal desires within us.
These men know the weaknesses inherent in us and do not
hesitate to exploit them. And you try to shield your children
from all this. But can you?
	Your children are also tempted from within. They are
curious about sex matters, yet they feel that there is some-
thing shameful about the whole thing. Th~y hear their com-
panions make nasty remarks, remarks which burn in their
minds and arouse cravings. Even little children, you know,
have consciences. And too often they are not sure whether
or not they have yielded to these cravings.
	And even while the child is tortured by these things, his
parents think lie is entirely ignorant of all that pertains to
sex. Priests often hear mothers boast, Thank God, my child
knows nothing of evil. And priests know this is often a
false judgment. For a child is at the mercy of the world
unless those who love him instruct and train him in purity.
	Frequently you watch your boy or girl and wonder what
he or she is thinking about. At a Kansas Sodality conven-
tion attended by fifteen hundred young people ranging in
age from fourteen to twenty years, boys and girls spoke of
their personal problems. The common complaint was that
their parents did not understand them, did not try to solve
their difficulties.
	Our fathers and mothers arent our pals, they com-
plained. Why dont they give us helpful suggestions? Why
dont they allow us to entertain at home? And since they
dont make our homes attractive for us, they argued, why
should they object to our running around at night?
	It was evident that these young people wanted to do the
right thing. But their parents were not doing much to help
them.
4-
	A college man once said to a priest: It was a rotten book
that I had to turn to for the information which should have
come from my parents. I dont blame my parents. They
thought they were.doing their duty in the matter. But Ive
often deplored their false ideas of modesty, which prevented
them from speaking openly to me on matters of sex. When
they failed to do so, they spoiled the best years of my
youth.
	If this were your boy, how could you explain your conduct
to him?
Your Own Experience

	Perhaps you often look back on your past experiences for
guides in the handling of difficult home situations. You
wish to train your youngsters as you were trained; you want
even to improve on the methods your parents used. Perhaps
your memories of your youth and adolescence teach you that
evil arises most often from ignorance. When an evil action
became a habit, you suddenly awoke to the realization of
evil and said, Why this is wrong ! Yet you were too shy
to talk about it. You felt there were some things about which
one should not talk; they were coarse.
	Perhaps your parents did not instruct you properly. If
they had done so, you would have been aware of the distinc-
tion between right and wrong. But you were not made aware
of this distinction, and you suffered. Wont you help your
youngsters escape that suffering? Can you afford to let your
children, uninstructed, run the risk of terrible dangers?

Why the Silence of Parents?
	It is the duty of the father and the mother to instruct
the child. You admit this, but you say, I hate to talk about
sex to my children. Precisely because you hate to talk of
these things, you are the right person to do it. You are just
the one to deal with the matter. You yourself are sensitive,
modest, and you will teach your chiMren to be modest.
Others less sensitive might blight the delicate flower of inno-
cence in the soul of your child. You, because of your love,
will nourish this tender plant with pure ideals, Catholic
ideals.
	You will admit then that it is your serious duty to teach
your children the things they ought to know. Still you
ffinch from the duty. Why let the fact that you dislike that
duty deter you? Dislike of a duty is never a sensible reason
for side-stepping it. You are justly angry when you see
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other mothers and fathers letting their children run wild,
spoiling them hopelessly. They arent doing their duty,
you storm.
	Routing yourself out of bed on a cold morning is no
pleasure. But would your employer waste much time with
you if you pleaded that it was too cold to get up on time?
Most of us dislike burdensome duties; but living brings duties,
and we must drive ourselves to fulfill them. So in this matter
of sex instruction the father or the mother must instruct
the child. Parents are appointed by God to train the child.
	No doubt every priest in the confessional has had a girl
come to him on the eve of her marriage and say, I want
to know what marriage means. And if the priest tells her
to ask her mother, the reply usually is, But my mother
sent rue to you. I wouldnt think of talking to her about
such things. She is much too good. It would hurt her.

Shirking?
No, it is not goodness that prevents a mother or a father
from explaining these things to a child. Rather is it false
modesty, which should not exist between child and parents.
The question is simply this: From whom is the child to
learn these things? The priest is not unwilling to shoulder
this burden. But the priest knows that these facts should
come from the parents. Children who are not instructed by
their parents too often learn the facts of sex from lips that
speak these facts in vulgar jest. Do you want to hear your
youngsters repeating to each other what some older com-
panions told them as a clumsy, unclean joke? Or would
you rather speak to your children yourself in a serious, pure
way?
	It is a strange fact that parents who insist strongly on good
table manners and good deportment may neglect this most
important matter of sex instruction. The little lies that cliii.
dren tell, the disobedience, the small theftsthese are rarely
mortal sins. Sins of impurity however are almost alwdya
mortal. It is no exaggeration to say that many of the young-
~ters now in hell are there because of sins of impurity.

The Catholic Explanation Is Simple and Beautiful
	Parents have said, I teach my children by letting them
have pets; from the animals they take care of they will
learn all they need to know. rfhis attitude is seriously mis-
taken. Too many children come to believe that sex is some-
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thing purely animal. Teach them, not that it is an animal
thing, but that it is a beautiful thing, so beautiful that
Christ guarded it with a sacrament. Teach them as Christ
would have taught them.
	lie would have spoken to them of Gods desire to people
heaven with His children, of themselves fashioned after the
image of God. Christ would have told the little ones around
His knees that, though lie was born of a virgin, lie came
into the world as other men come, that lie was the blessed
fruit of Marys womb. Why that is one of the first prayers
your children learn from your lips: Blessed is the fruit of
thy womb, Jesus. have you in this taught your child
something indecent? And if it is not indecent, wont you
explain what it means?
	Indeed your explanation will create confidence and mutual
trust between you and your children. Your children will
come to realize that you are their best friends and their
safest advisers in this matter as in others.
	Sex then becomes for them, not a shameful, mysterious
thing, but a beautiful and a glorious thing. Your children
will admire you for having unveiled it to them as the splen-
did, God-given thing it is.
	One mother who has six children ranging in age from
eight to sixteen years instructed them all, even the young-
est, in the facts of birth. When she was asked how the chil-
dren received this instruction, she replied: The children
were satisfied. Those who had been troubled at all before
became calm and soon forgot the whole matter.

When to Instruct
	Frequently parents, though eager to instruct their children
regarding sex and purity, are puzzled about the proper time
for this instruction. That is an important question. Should
parents wait until the boy is fourteen years old before in-
structing him fully? Or should instruction be given in small
doses from the time he is five years old until he is fifteen?
The only safe rule seems to be that each child must be
studied individually and given the information first when
curiosity prompts him to ask questions and second when his
physical development calls for it.
	You will be wise to give all the information needed, so
that the child will not be helpless when the physical and
the mental changes of adolescence come upon him or when
he is given distorted information. Certainly it is better to
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give the child instruction a year too soon than one hour
no late.
Answering the Childs Questions
If you have won the confidence of your children by kind-
ness, by symjpathetic understanding and love, they will come
to you with all their questions. Childrens curiosity is legiti-
mate; they have a right to the correct viewpoint on sex. If
you do not scold or sluish them but instead very frankly
and truthfully answer their innocent questions from the be-
ginning and encourage them to bring their troubles to you,
they will gradually get all the knowledge they need before
puberty comes. This method protects children from wrong
notions which they might pick up from companions and
strengthens them when they are tempted against purity.
In general then you would do well to instruct your chil-
dren concerning birth when they first ask about it. Further
instruction concerning marriage and other sex matters
should be given before puberty. This commonly comes
arlier in girls than in boys. All this will be more fully
explained later in this booklet.

Who Should Instruct?
	The pitiful story of one girl is an example of what mental
torture many youngsters endure. Her mother had protected
her from impurity in every way. On the way home from
school one day a companion told her in a vile, coarse way
about the mysteries of generation. The girl was shocked
and, rushing home, told her mother what she bad heard.
Her mother said, harshly, You are talking about things
that children should never mention. Children sin mortally
when they talk about such things.
The girls heart was almost broken at her mothers stern
reproach. Bewildered, confused, she wondered about the
truth of the matter. She could not throw off the feeling of
shame and guilt, yet she was afraid to tell her mother of
her anxiety. Gradually she drew apart from her mother,
failed to confide in her, became melancholy. So suspicious
was she of her parents that her youthful years were spoiled.
	Later, after she had learned the Catholic truth of the
	matter, she forgave her mother. Her mother, she explained,
	had meant well and, in following her policy of silence and
	harshness, bad done what she believed to be her duty. Yet
	this false po1icy of silence had destroyed the girls youthful
8
cheerfulness and happiness and had amassed only sad mem~
ones of a mothers mistaken love.

At First
	In this matter of instructing a child the first plunge is the
hardest. You are afraid before you begin. But once
you get started, the rest is easy. It is like the Monday
morning feeling that follows a pleasant Sunday. You see
the days work ahead, and it is not at all pleasant in antici-
pation; it would be far more pleasant to stay in bed. Yet
when you rout yourself out with a will and throw yourself
into your daily routine, your repugnance vanishes and you
accomplish your tasks cheerfully.
	Once you break the ice and begin to instruct the child
regarding sex and purity, you will find your self-confidence
increasing. When the instruction is finished, you will smile
at yourself for having feared it. Your childrens gratitude
and your own peace of mind will be the pleasant rewards
for your having overcome your initial fears.

How Shall I Instruct?
	It was mentioned before that success in this matter
depends chiefly on your winning the confidence of your
children by sympathetic kindness. They should be trained
to come to you with all their difficulties, great and small. If
they know you are interested in them and if they trust you
implicitly, they will ask you questions from which most
children shrink. It is highly important that you do not
scold them about their little troubles. Do not make light of
a childs difficulty, even if that difficulty be slight; for if
you do scold, he will not come to you with his serious diffi-
culties. Remember that youngsters take all their troubles
seriously; you did when you were young.
	To win their confidence, make yourself a child again. Put
yourself in their place. Think back over your own expen-
ence in these matters, and you will find a surprising sym-
pathy well up within you.
	In the first place explain that sex problems are normal,
that everyone has such problems, and that every boy and
every girl goes through similar trials. You see, the boy
thinks he is the only one in the world who is troubled about
sex. And he heaves a sigh of relief when he learns that
others undergo this experience. He feels that he is no longer
alone in the matter and is therefore convinced that he is
normal.
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	Do not be shocked when they question you. Be quiet and
serious when they talk to you. This puts youngsters at theii
ease. And it gives them a healthy attitude toward the things
of sex. how the thing is said is as important as what is
said. Give the information naturally and spontaneously.
Youngsters are extremely sensitive to your tone of voice.
Hence make your voice serious, kindly, sympathetic, rev-
erent. Your words should border on the matter-of-fact, yet
they should be tempered with a sense of the sacred. Your
tone should not betray nervousness or embarrassment; above
all it should not be clouded with the hush of mystery.
	May a warning be inserted here? Never betray any sus-
picions you may have that. your children are forming im-
pure habits. Watch your children, and if you do discover
such habits in them, be tactful, clever, diplomatic about
them. Convinced of the existence of such habits, you should
warn the children about them, but do it in an indirect way.
For instance if you know they are tampering with themselves
in a dangerous way, say, I wonder whether you have ever
heard that touching yourself immodestly is wrong; boys
and girls get into such habits sometimes.
	Or the father could say, have you heard how so-and-so,
the All-American football star, trained himself? Or, have
you been to confession recently? Its the best way to keep
your soul clean. If indirect and tactful hints are not suffi-
cient to stop a seriously bad habit, you must of course take
direct means to stop it.

Ask Questions
	Once you have the confidence of your children, you can
draw them out by asking a few leading questions. Ask them
whether or not they have observed certain thingsfor exam-
ple, physical changes in. their bodies. This gives them a
chance to talk to you and to let you know what they have
been thinking about. The fact that they are spontaneous
in talking to you is of course the best opportunity for your
purposes. If they never ask or talk about sex matters, never
force them to do so. Lead up to the matter in an indirect
way. helps in the form of questions will be found at the
end of the outlines of each discussion.
	Once your children have been instructed correctly, you
will find that your worries over the problem of purity have
vanished and that your children have a new respect and
Love for you.
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What Shall I Say and Do?
	Before going into particulars, let us try to visualize the
whole field of child education. You make it your business
to care for your childs health; you train him to care for
himself. But you are more concerned for the health of your
childs soul. You consider it your chief duty before God
to do your utmost to protect and train that soul.
	Now sex education is an ultimate part of a childs train-
ing. It is not an isolated piece of knowledge, something to
be held apart as mysterious, veiled. It fits into the whole
scheme of your childs educafion. In giving sex instruction,
you are explaining how God made us and how we fit into
His creation. For a child to be curious is really not unusual.
He wants to knowand he has a right to knowhow he
came into this world, why he is in the world, where be is
going and how to get there. lie wants to know the nature
and purpose of these sex powers.
	Sex is so intimate a part of man that he is driven to
think about it instinctively. It is not evil; it is blessed. God
Looked upon it and said that it was good. It is only when
we use our bodies for purposes other than those for which
they were intended by God that we sin, lie made our bodies,
and lie has the right to tell us how to use them. And a
child must be taught the difference between the right and
the wrong use of his body.

Linked
	Educating for purity of mind and imagination also baa
an important place in the complete education of children.
You rightfully demand obedience from them in small duties.
You insist that they do their school work well in order that
they may develop sharp, clear minds. Above all you want
them to have pure minds. You want them to be modest and
to have self-control. This precisely is the chief element in
training for purity.
	A child must be trained to self-denial in his sex instincts,
just as he must be trained to self-control at table. If he over-
eats, he will suffer for it. If he abuses his body, he will also
suffer, perhaps for eternity, lie must control himself by that
marvelous power of will within him.
	Sulkiness and anger are not removed by a command from
father or mother. But when a child is led out of such
tempers by a kindly talk on the attractiveness of cheerful-
ness and meekness, and when he comes to see his tempers
11
as temptations that grip and hurt him, he will use his own
will to snap himself out of it.
	You cannot compel a child to be pure. But you can pre-
sent the beauties of purity so attractively that he will gladly
deny himself many things to achieve that purity. Cleverly
you tell your youngster that if he rakes the lawn he may
have a slice of that fresh cake. How the leaves fly I

Ideals

	Similarly he will work hard to be pure if you present
puritys splendor and beauty appealingly. Boys want to excel
in sports. Fathers can point out that all famous athletes
train for many weeks and months before contests, and that
purity makes for strength and endurance. Boys want to be
manly, courageous, pure  not quitters, weaklings. Purity
demands training in bravery, the overcoming of rotten
thoughts, the avoidance of cowardly actions,
	Girls are idealistic. They love to be called little mothers.
They are hungry for motherhood. Present the beauties of
motherhood in glowing colors. The little pains they endure
now, their hard-won victories over wrong desires prepare
them for the future glories of motherhood.
	If you show your children that self-conquest is noble, you
will make their hearts glow with enthusiasm for the battle
against impurity. They feel that they are getting the
jump on their fallen nature, and they love a fight. And
when temptation comes, they will despise it and conquer it.

Self-control

	One wise mother trained her son to abstain from eating
candy between meals and showed him how to deny himself
in other little ways. The boy took great pride in developing
self-control. It helped him to master a particularly unruly
temper. That same boy was later grateful for that training
when a woman tempted him to grave impurity. He said
that his earlier training in self-denial turned him almost
automatically from the temptation.
	A soldier who went through World War I, who spent
years in the French Foreign Legion and lived in the vice-
infested cities of the East claims that be kept his purity
unspotted because his father had frequently told him that a
man who gives in to impurity hasnt any backbone.
	There is a very close connection between self-denial. and
purity. Perhaps you will not see and enjoy immediate
 12 
results from training your children to purity. But what a
thrill will come to you when years from now your son or
your daughter (perhaps married, but still your boy and
your girl) thanks you for having trained him or her to
self-denial.
Instructing Younger Ckildrer~
	Children up to eight or ten years of age may be instructed
about birth, especially when they ask about it. Then it is
easy for a mother to say, in simple words like these:
	Dear, I bore you nine months in my body, under my
heart. This caused me much worry. I thought of you all the
time and prayed for you. Then when I brought you into
the world, I suffered a great deal of pain. The Blessed Virgin
also carried the Child Jesus in her womb; that is why we
pray, Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Mortal Sin? Venial Sin? No Sin at All?
	Children up to eight or ten years of age need to be trained
in modesty, and every mother must take care that they are
trained in it. In the matter of impurity however it is highly
important that parents know clearly the difference between
mortal and venial sin. For often enough a childs troubled
conscience must be set at rest. There are certain acts that
are not at all sinful. Thus one ~n hardly help looking at
or touching oneself when bathing or undressing. Such acts
are perfectly natural and promote health and cleanliness.

Difference
	But to look at or touch sexual organs out of curiosity
is usually a venial sin. And often such touching or exam-
ining is the occasion of mortal sin. One is guilty of a
mortal sin of impurity when one wants to do these things
or does them for the forbidden sexual pleasure derived. The
word forbidden refers to the fact that these pleasures are
perfectly legitimate in marriage but are absolutely forbidden
outside of marriage.
	Modesty is the wall thrown around purity; neglect of
modesty breaks down this wall- and puts one in the occasion
of sin. But if we know from past experience that we are
likely to fall, we are not permitted to place ourselves in the
occasion of sin except for a grave reason. If there is no
great danger in the occasion, there is no serious sin. Thus
a child who out of curiosity unnecessarily touches his body
is ordinarily in no serious danger of mortal sin, but he
13
exposes himself willingly to the danger and therefore com-
mits a venial sin. But if he tampers with himself to derive
forbidden pleasure, he commits a mortal sin of impurity.

Danger
	A concrete example may serve to make clear the difference
between mortal and venial sin in the matter of purity. Sup-
pose your next-door neighbors were quarantined for measles.
You forbid your children to go near the house because they
will be in danger of contracting the disease. Now if they
want to get the measles so they can stay away from school,
they will go next door and play with the quarantined chil-
dren. This is similar to their wanting forbidden sexual
pleasure and tampering with themselves to get it; in the
latter case it would be a mortal sin of impurity.
	But if your children are merely curious to see what their
quarantined playmates look like, they may take a chance
and just visit them for a minute. They have no desire to
contract the disease. The same analysis holds in a childs
looking at or touching himself out of curiosity  and this
would be at most a venial sin.
	Again the thought of the pleasure of seeing his chums and
of playing with them once more might attract your young-
ster so strongly that lie will go next door. You know this is
dangerous for him because, if he yields to the desire of being
with his quarantined chums, he probably will not break
away but will stay to enjoy the pleasure of playing with
them and will contract the disease. Such is the case with
forbidden pleasure: Its attraction is so strong that, once a
youngster begins, it is almost impossible for him to stop.
	At first there is no grave sin; it is merely pleasant to look
or to feel. But even if a youngster stops immediately after
yielding, he commits a venial sin. Generally however he
~ar&not stop after he has yielded even for a moment, and he
loes on to commit a mortal sin.
Good Reason
	Let us continue the comparison. Not everyone is forbidden
to enter the quarantined house. Those who have good reason
to enter may or even must do so. Thus the doctor and the
nurse must enter to take care of the sick children. But both
take precautions not to contract the disease or spread it.
Likewise the performance of acts that promote health and
cleanliness is necessary and therefore not even venially

14
	If your youngster said, I dont care whether or not I
get the measles, you would be worried, for then you would
know he would grow careless and run the danger of con-
tracting the disease. The same holds for impure actions:
The youngster might think he could tamper with himself
and get away with it. if he does think so, he has bad will
and is placing himself in danger of committing sins of im-
purity, that is, he is putting himself in the proximate occa-
sion of mortal sin, itself a serious sin.

Clear Ideas

	It is extremely important to have very clearly in mind
this distinction between mortal and venial sin. Often parents
are responsible for their childrens having false consciences;
such parents tell their children that certain actions which as
a matter of fact are either venial sins or no sins at all are
mortal sins. The punishment for mortal sin is, as you well
know, hell; and if a child deliberately performs an act that
he thinks is a mortal sin, he will be judged and punished
for it as mortal, even though the act be only a venial sin.
	Not only should a child be taught this difference, but he
should be instructed as to what is no sin at all. For instance
a parent might say: You dont commit a sin it after you
begin to think about bad things you catch yourself and say,
I dont want to think about such things, and I dont want
to do such things. You do not commit a sin if you do not
know that what you are doing is wrong. Thus when you see
a baby do something wrong, you say, lie doesnt know any
better. if you are thinking about something that you knew
is wrong, yet you dont want to do the thing, then you do
not sin.
	Remember too that sometimes you must look at or touch
certain parts of your body: for instance, when you dress or
bathe or do what is required for cleanliness or to stop a hurt
or an itch. Such acts are not sins, for they are necessary.

Models

	Your chief work with young children then is to give them
clear ideas of the nature of sin and to help them fight their
temptations. All that we have said about inspiring your
children to be pure applies here. Lead them to self-denial
by presenting the beauties of purity and modesty. Make it
a game for them, a fighting game to conquer the impurities
that will hurt them and stain their souls.
 16
 Point out to them models of purity. For girls the Little
FlOwer is a fascinating ideal; the child Mary attracts them;
St. Agnes, St. Cecilia, a modest playmate, a beloved nun
these are only a few of the many models of purity you
will find.
	For boys the boy Christ is a highly attractive model.
Famous athletes (numerous examples can be found in the
sports world to prove that success comes from training and
failure comes from lack of self-control), the Knights of
Arthur, St. Stanislaus Kostka, St. Aloysius will also serve
you for this purpose. Do not hold up a playmate as a model
boys dislike this. Best of all be models yourselves.
	A prayer that has helped innumerable boys and girls to
conquer temptation is: 0 Mary, my queen, my mother,
keep me and guard me as thy property and possession.

Holy  Communion

	Without a doubt Holy Communion is the chief help that
the Church puts at your disposal in this business of educat-
ing your children to purity. Many believe that Pope Pius X
decreed that this glorious sacrament be given to the little
children of Christ to help them in their battle for purity.
Our age is a soft age. When you were children, you had
luxuries your parents did not have when they were children,
and your children have even more than you had. Circum-
stances forced upon you as a child many tasks which do not
exist today. Perhaps your room was cold when you awoke
in the morning; perhaps you had to walk miles to school,
bring in coal and wood for the fire, and do all the chores
that were common fifteen or twenty years ago.
	Of course wise parents still see to it that their children
do little jobs about the house: The boy takes care of the
yard; the girl does housework. Athletics in these days are
also a splendid natural help. But generally youth today has
a much easier time than you had. Pope Pius X foresaw all
this and gave children the supernatural safeguard of fre-
quent Communion, the bread of the strong.
	See that your child receives this spiritual bread to
strengthen his soul. Encourage him to love Christ as a
friend. Lead him to the one spotless friend to whom he can
speak of everything, the friend who will treasure his secrets,
who will teach him the ways of the clean of heart. Let him
see Holy Communion as the basis of all real friendship. For
Christ came to give us life and stren th, to lift us from the
16
sin in which we all began, to draw us to Himself by the
inspiration of Ills friendship, by the power of His love.

Children Between the Ages of Eight and Fourteen

	What helps can be suggested for children between the ages
of eight and fourteen?
	The ages mentioned are of course only approximate. A
girl may come to puberty before she is thirteen or fourteen
years old, and children may he severely tempted before the
age of eight. You must ~ atch the growth of each child
and give helps accordingly.
	During this period it is above all necessary to win and
keep the childs confidence. Boys will boast to their com-
panions, My dad is my pal. And a girl is proud of the
mother who is her chum. Such a spirit of friendship is ideal,
for it enables you to impart instruction easily, and the child
will ask spontaneously about things that bother him. More-
over you can give tips on temptation, tips that will be
received gladly and seriously.
	It is worth your while to repeat to your children some of
the instructions you gave them when they were younger;
now that they are older, they will better understand the
ideas of temptation and impurity. Emphasize the nature of
a mortal sin of impurity; distinguish between what is and
what is not sin. Remember, those acts which they do not
know are wrong or which are necessary are not sinful. Only
when they want to enjoy an action that they know is wrong
or when they want to retain an impure thought in their
mind do they sin mortally.

Companions

	The parents problem of companions for their children
is always a difficult one. The interest youngsters have in
their friends often keeps them out of trouble. Children do
not usually resent being told not to associate with certain
other children. Neither do they always have to know why
you recommend a change of companions. Your children will
be impressed when you tell them to associate with children
of their own age and of good character. There is nothing to
be gained and much to be lost if their companions are of
the silly or of the jellyfish type. And it is better for
your youngsters not to associate too closely with children a
good deal older than themselvesunless you are~ sure these
older children are of good character.
17
Should the Child Be Given a Book on Sex?
	Just a few words about books on sex instruction. Most
books of this type are not adapted to the childs physical
and mental status and do not have the Catholic viewpoint,
which is the only true viewpoint. Sex-instruction books that
have diagrams or pictures should never be given to a young-
ster. It is best to ask the advice of your pastor or a Catholic
teacher about such books. And even should a book be rec-
ommended, the youngster should be permitted to read only
such parts of it as are suited to his age, physical and mental.
(A list of books for parents and of reading matter suited to
the ages of various children will be found on the back cover
of this book.) It is taken for granted that parents take an
interest in and supervise all the books their children read.
Con feesior& and Communion
	Many of us find it difficult to confess our sins. Youngsters
are no exceptions. They find it very hard to confess sins of
impurity; their sense of shame is often almost overpowering.
Sometimes they begin confession by telling their minor sins,
putting off confession of their sins of impurity, and then be-
come so frightened that they omit the telling of these sins.
Advise them that if they tell their worst sins first the rest
will be easy. Assure them that the priest has heard con-
fessions of similar sins and understands the temptations of
young people; that the priest is bound under pain of mortal
sin and excommunication never to reveal any of the sins
he has heard in confession; that the priest takes the place
of Christ, who is willing to bear mens sins on His shoulders.
	Remind them how relieved they feel once confession is
over. Confession is like a spiritual bath, refreshing and
soothing. Urge your youngsters to ask the priest for advice
on any difficulties they may have about purity. The priest
is always willing to help.
	Give your youngsters every possible encouragement to
receive Holy Communion frequently. Recall to them the
reasons why Pope Pius X permitted and urged Holy Corn-
munion for very young children. Tell them that the
strength derived from this spiritual food nourishes us even
when we are not aware of it; do all in your power to win
them to a close relationship with Christ.

Positive Ideals  A Challenge
Both boys and girls from ten to fourteen years of age are
ensitive to idealistic motives. The boys enthusiasm for
18
sports increases; the girl enters the romantic stage, the
dreamy ago. The suggestions given on previous pages
concerning models of purity can be applied here to arouse
enthusiasm in your children. They love to be challenged
to the high ideal of purity. Dare them to strive for it.
	Wholesome too are the motives of disgust and fear. You
can make them feel disgust for impurity by giving them
homely illustrations such as: You wouldnt cover your face
with dirt, would you? Well impure people do just that to
their souls. You might refer in a casual way to the terrible
venereal diseases, often punishments for impurity. This
however should be kept in mind: Sins of impurity rarely
lead to insanity and do not always lead to disease.
	Fear of hell is always a strong motive for a youngster.
When the noble ideal of purity pales before strong tempta-
tion, only the fear of hell and its eternity of punishment
can keep us from sin. It sometimes takes a strong motive to
keep youngsters out of sin, and a just fear is good for them.

The Age of Puberty
	Just when boys and girls undergo the physical and mental
changes of puberty, the changes which indicate that the boy
is growing into manhood and the girl into womanhood, can-
not be definitely stated. Boys usually undergo these changes
in their fourteenth year; girls mature earlier. You must
study each child individually. Note the beginning of awk-
wardness and shyness in a boy, his show-off attitude, the
attraction of girls for him, though he probably had no use
for them previously. Note the beginning of the girls interest
in boys; watch her become dreamy and begin to show a
desire for romantic literature.
	Though these changes come gradually and subtly, alert
parents are quick to recognize them. Remember, it is better
to give instruction too early than too late. Why? The old
story still holds: Prevention is infinitely better than attempt
at cure after children have fallen into trouble or acquired
wrong notions of sex.

Instructing
	At the end of the first section of this book an outline for
each talk is given to help you. The father should study the
outline, see how it is developed in the model instruction for
a boy (Section II), and then repeat the model talk to his
boy in a quiet, reverent way. The mother can do the same

19
for the girl. Sometimes the mother can give the instruc-
tions to both the boy and the girl. It can be said that the
one who has the youngsters confidence should give the
instruction.
	When you finish the instruction, question the youngster.
This gives you a chance to straighten out whatever mistaken
ideas he may have formed. There are questions at the end of
each outline to help you. Ask the child if he is still puzzled
about anything. Was he interested? Does he know how to
handle temptations? Is there anything more be would like
to know? If he says the instruction was easy to understand
(this may be an excuse to get out of answering), select cer-
tain points from the instruction and ask him to explain his
ideas about the matter to you. These points are suggested at
the end of the outline.
	Some time after you have talked to your children, let
them read the model instruction and then question them on
it. You will be risking success if you let them read the
instruction without first giving it to them vocally. It is not
difficult to give this instruction once you have taken the
plunge. And your youngsters will be impressed far more
deeply by your talking to them, by your tone of voice and
your kindness, than they would be if they read the instruc-
tion themselves.

An Important Difference
	Young people usually are ignorant of the essential differ-
ence between the sex instincts in men and in women. Young
people think the sex instinct is the same in all people, that
it differs only in intensity. Psychologists, on the other hand,
say there are two factors in the sex urge: (1) the psychic
factor, the craving of the soul for companionship, under-
standing, and sympathetic love; (2) the physical factor, the
craving of the body for the sensual side of sex.
	Young people ought to be told that ordinarily the physi-
cal factor is developed earlier and more fully in men than
it is in women, in whom it often remains unawakened
throughout their teens and early twenties and sometimes for
life.
	Dr. Maurice Bigelow states the difference thus: The
sexual instincts of young men are active, aggressive, spon-
taneous, and automatic, while those of women as a rule are
passive and subject to awakening by external stimuli, espe-
cially in connection with affection.
20
	You might explain this to your boy or girl by saying that
love in a boy is predominantly physical; in a girl it is
chiefly mental and em9tional.
	The average girl has no idea of the fierceness of a boys
passion. She knows only that she desires to love and to be
loved in return. She believes the boy is as innocent as she

is; hence she can see no harm in kissing and embracing.
And she thinks her parents are exaggerating the danger
when they warn her not to be too free with young men, not
to indulge in kissing and petting with them. But if she
understands how easily boys are aroused ph~ijticaUy, she will
be more willing to keep them in their place. From the time
she is fifteen until she is twenty years of age, she should be
warned repeatedly about this difference between the sexes.
	The average boy is equally ignorant of the character of
the average girl. He does not know that a girl is different
from himself; and when she allows him to embrace and
pet her, he thinks that she is just as passionate as he is and
that her physical experience is like his  the urge to go
farther. But if he realizes that a girl seeks merely affection,
he will be more careful.
	Boys and girls who get this difference between the sexes
clear in their minds are able to solve many of their difficul-
ties about petting, kissing, and the like. Parents who worry
because they cannot convince their children that there are
sex dangers may find that a frequently repeated explanation
of this difference that exists between boys and girls will do
more good than mere warnings.

The Age of Ideal.
	The time between the ages of fourteen and twenty is the
time of ideals. Youngsters are hungry for high ideals and
lofty motives. They enthusiastically embrace virtues which
are presented attractively. All the suggestions we have given
previously should be applied here. Challenge your children.
They love to do things; they hate donts. Dare them to fight
aggressively for right, for purity. Challenge them to be like
St. Agnes, who dared to be different when she was sur-
rounded by the rottenness of Rome.
	Agnes, when tempted to sin, had the courage calmly to
say no and to prove herself different from other Roman
girls. And because she dared to be different, three hundred
million Catholics revere her as a model of purity. For sixteen
21 
hundred years she has continued to inspire girls all over the
world to remain pure.
	Boys love to be radical, revolutionary, different. Show
them that St. Aloysius, by remaining pure in the midst of
a rotten Renaissance court, was a radical right. And
because he was revolutionary and different, he is held up by
the Church as a model of purity for youth.
	Tell your children that thousands of young men and
women today are daring to be different, are holding the
white banner of their purity high in the midst of a pagan
America. It will do your hearts good to hear your young-
sters boast that they despise all forms of impurity.

We Should! We Will!

	You have considered the foregoing ideas and have fre-
quently talked the matter over among yourselves. Perhaps
you have decided to give your children full instruction on
sex.
	Other Catholic parents, you say, are doing it. Why
cant we?
	Certainly you can Tell your youngsters the story of the
Mother of God, who knew before marriage what marriage
meant. The angel, glorious and pure, appears to her.
Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring
forth a son.. . . And Mary said to the angel: How shall
this be done, because I know not man ? Mary was innocent
not ignorant. She knew the meaning of what she was
saying; yet she was pure, most pure. Innocent? Yes.
But not ignorant in thought and word. This divine mother
spoke unhesitatingly of this thing; and because she was
innocent even while she knew why the promise of mother-
hood seemed impossible for her, we make her our mother;
we ask her to gather her mantle about us, not to blind our
eyes, but to hold back the fierce passions of our souls and
our bodies.
Blessed

	Blessed are the clean of heart. That is what matters
to be clean of heart, to be detached from evil and impure
ways. Teach your children to set aside of their own will the
books, the companions, the thoughts that will wound thm.
We do not want a life of mere negation, a series of do~ts.
We want a heart that rejects and despises evil because it
craves purity.
22
	When we are before the altar, we know we are before our
God. Our lips .receive Him. Our eyes watch Him. And we
hope we shall one day see Him in His beauty face to face.
We trust our hands will one day touch Him. He, this
Christ, is our lover; He is our hope and our final reward.
Because you love Him and bring your children to love Him,
He Himself will one day hold your love. Because we love
Him and His ways, we hold ourselves detached from the
world. More. We work to bring the world to that true free-
dom which enables man to see God because his heart is
clean.
	Bring your children to grow in knowledge and love of
purity. God will help you to do this, for it is the work He
Himself has laid on you.

OUTLINE OF A TALK TO BOYS ABOUT
PURITY

	I. INTRODUCTION: Sex knowledge is good. Purity and sex
knowledge are not mutually exclusive. Proved by the story
of the Incarnation: Mary was innocent, not ignorant. Shame
may come from wrong notions. People are mysterious about
sex. Companions may at some time have spoken nastily,
and observation of animals, etc., may have given false ideas.
Sex pleasure is not animal pleasure; it is beautiful, God-
given.
II.	MAIN POINTS.
A.	Marriage.
	1. Gods Plan: Man was created to fill the places in
heaven left vacant by the fallen angels. God allows parents
to share in this plan. God creates the soul; parents help
create the body. Why do parents share? Hard to rear a
family, and man has a special love and care for what he
himself makes. Example: You are prouder of an airplane
you build than of one I buy for you. We are proud of you
you are ours.
	2. A Splendid Sacrament: Marriage brings children into
the world. They will live eternally when this earth is no
more.
	3. Preparation for Marriage: You must train like any
professional man. You must know your bodyits purpose.
God prepares our bodies. Airplanes differ; bodies diffey
Mans sexual organs differ from womans. In these organs
are life-germs called seed in man, eggs in woman.
23
	4. Marriage Act: Intimate union of parents bodies
required to bring seed to egg. Sexual intercoursesublime,
sacred, Gods plan; saints, even the Blessed Virgin, came
into the world through this act of generation. Parents,
wishing children, intimately and lovingly embrace each
other; and when seed from father is united with egg from
mother, God creates the immortal soul, and the child comes
into existence.
	5. Birth: ~huld grows within the mothers body for nine
months; child fed by mothers blood until strong enough to
live by itself. Birth of the child usually causes mother in-
tense pain. Child needs special food; milk forms in breasts
of mother to nourish child. Birth is sacred; Our Lord came
into the world in that wayBlessed is the fruit of thy
womb, Jesus. With baptism childs body becomes a temple
of the Holy Spirit; more sacred than a tabernacle or a
chalice. If childs soul is saved, has a glorious destiny for
eternity.
8.	Fatherhood.
	1. Changes at Fourteen: Boy gets powers of fatherhood.
Becomes restless, melancholy, clumsy, interested in girls;
sex organs develop. All boys go through this stage. Curious
about sex? Not wrong. Boy has right to know purpose of
his body. Correct information to be obtained from reliable
sources. Ask me or mother.
	2. Emissions: Seed now runs out in sleep. All boys
experience it; you will from now on. Seed has life-germs
and hence is sacred. Stored in body until an oversupply
causes ejection, sometimes during exciting dreams. Natural
saints were subject to it. Called emission; if you wish
to, consult confessor. If awakened from sleep, do nothing
either to help or to stop flow of seed. Say a prayer and go
to sleep.
	3. Self-abuse: You may not cause flow of seed directly;
serious sin. Same holds for other pressures or disturbances
of sexual organs. Must not cause flow by rubbing, handling;
but if it just comes without your causing it, ignore it and
do something interesting. No sin to look at or touch sex
organs for purposes of health and cleanliness; it is necessary.
Otherwise forget them. May have learned from others or
from experience that the touching of sex organs produces
pleasure. Serious danger. If pleasure is wanted, mortal sin.
Somewhat like desecrating a church, mutilating another,
only worse. Spoils temple of the Holy Spirit, blackens the

34
soul. If done, make an act of contrition; confess it. Confess
worst- sins first. Priest will never reveal sins confessed. Big
relief after confession. Forget sins that have been confessed.
	0. Bad Thoughta: Not sinful to have Gods view of sex.
Impure pictures tempt you? Girls sometimes tempt you?
All boys tempted. Not sinful unless wanted. Can always say
no; will power. Not I wont think of them, but fill mind
with clean ideas; turn mind to interesting books, radio,
games, etc.
	D. Helps to Purity: At night a swift examination of
conscience, act of contrition, quiet resolve to do better. Plan
to avoid occasions of sin.
	1. Frequent Communion: Catholic college men receive
Communion each week. Spiritual bread puts muscle on the
soul for fight for purity. Make Christ your best friend; tell
Him everything; He is very interested in you.
	2. Sports: They harden the body, teach you to take it,
to endure, not be soft, sissy. College sports are training;
give self-control. Train to purity. A contest. A challenge.
Courage to say no to bad thoughts, bad pictures, bad com-
panions. Companions admire your courage in purity. Not
jelly-spined or impure, but courageous, clean. Play t~ie
game.
E.	Sex Pleasure Is Forbidden Outside of Marriage.
	1. In Marriage: God put pleasure in the sex act to reward
married people for the hardships of rearing children. Other-
wise parents might not rear families, and Gods plan of
peopling heaven might be blocked.
	2. Outside of Marriage: If God allowed sex pleasure out-
side of marriage, children would be born homeless and would
not receive proper care. Ruin of human race. If men and
boys were allowed to enjoy sex pleasures by themselves, or
with others outside of marriage, there would be no incentive
to rear a family. God punishes sins of impurity with hell-
fire, not purgatory. Purgatory is not eternal; hell is eternal.
	F. Vocations: Either actual fatherhood, like myself, or
spiritual fatherhood, like priests or religious. Boys have the
right to marriage or can give up that right for the priest-
hood. Both are pleasing to God. God will make vocation
clear, and you will discover it by serious thought and prayer.
	G. Girls: Important to know that a boys sex instinct is
predominantly physical; a girls is emotional. Girls desire
innocent affection, kisses, etc., and do not realize a boy may
want to go farther, even to the committing of seriw.is sins
35
of impurity. When a girl is affectionate, a boy thinks she
is just as passionate as he is. Boys should protect girls;
should not go too far. Treat them as sisters, or as your
mother, or as the Blessed Virgin. Be manly, pure; girls will
admire you for your purity. Remember that they are also
temples of the Holy Spirit.

III.	CONCLUSION.

	Challenge to purity. Praise its manliness. Give example.
of purity in boys and men, athletes and saints, etc.

IV.	QUESTIONS.

	1. Is it all right to know about sex? Why?
	2. What is Gods view of sex?
	3. What was Gods plan for marriage?
	4. How are children born?
	5. With whom should you discuss these matters?
	6. What attitude will you take toward bad thoughts?
	7. When do temptations become sins?
	8. What are some helps to purity?
	9. How do sports help you to be pure?
10. Why does God forbid sexual pleasure outside of mar-
riage?
11. Why should a boy be careful with girls?
12. How do we discover our work in life?
13. Do you think purity is worth fighting for? Why?
14. Is there anything else you want to know? Is there
anything about this matter that puzzles you?

	N. B. If the boys ideas are not clear, explain the matter
again, lie may hesitate to answer your questions; help him
in a kindly way. Build on his ideas. Use his language, the
language of the young boy, when speaking to him. This out-
line is only a suggestion to be fitted to t.he individual cases.

OUTLINE OF A TALK TO GIRLS ABOUT
PURITY

	I. INTRODUCTION. After the sacrament of confirmation
the next important step is either matrimony or the religious
life. Knowledge of marriage is good, not evil. Proved by
the story of the Incarnation: Mary was innocent, not igno-
rant. People rarely talk of these things because of modesty;
but knowledge is necessary for purity. Marriage is God-
given, splendid.
 26
II.	MAIN POINTS.

A.	Marriage.
	1.	Gods Plan: Men and women were created to fill the
places in heaven left vacant by the fallen angels. God allows
parents to share in this plan. God creates the soul; parents
help create the body. Why do parents share? Rearing a
family is difficult, and man has a special love and care for
what he himself makes. Example: You are prouder of fudge
you make than of candy dad buys for you. We are proud
of youyou are ours.
	2.	A Splendid Sacrament: Marriage brings children into
the world. They will live eternally when this earth is no
more.
	3.	Preparation for Marriage: You must train like nurses
and teachers. You must know your bodyits purpose. God
prepares our bodies. Womans sexual organs differ from
mans. In these organs are life-germs called eggs in
woman, seed in man.
	4.	Marriage Act: Intimate union of parents bodies
required to bring seed to egg. Sexual intercoursesu~me,
sacred, Gods plan; saints, even the Blessed Virgin, came
into the world through this act of generation. Parents, wish-
ing children, intimately and lovingly embrace each other;
and when seed from father is united with egg of mother,
God creates the immortal soul, and the child comes into
existence.
	5.	Birth: Child grows within the mothers body for nine
months; child fed by mothers blood until strong enough to
live by itself. Birth of the child usually causes mother in-
tense pain. Child needs special food; milk forms in breasts
of mother to nourish child. Birth is sacred; Our Lord came
into the world in that wayBlessed is the fruit of thy
womb, Jesus. Happiest moment of a womans life when
she holds her first child to her heart. With baptism childs
body becomes a temple of the Holy Spirit; more sacred than
a tabernacle or a chalice. If childs soul is saved, has a
glorious destiny for eternity.
B.	Motherhood.
	1.	Changes at Fourteen: Childhood disappearing; girl
becoming young lady. Girl becomes restless, interested in
boys; body develops. No fear. All girls go through that
	stage. Curious about sex? Not wrong. Girl has the right to
know purpose of her body and its powers of motherhood.
27
Correct information to be obtained from clean sources. Ask
me; ready to help and advise.
	2. Menstruation: Flow of blood every four weeks. Nat-
ural; no fear. Every girl experiences it at a certain age and
for a long time. Saints were subject to it. Sign that God is
making you capable of motherhood later on. Uneasy, blue,
excitable at that time? Natural. Be patient; careful of your
health; exert you ~self little. Be cleanly; ask mother about
taking care of yourself at that time; she is glad to help;
knows you are approaching that experience. Sign of more
beauty and happiness. If menstruation delayed, dont
worry, unless the delay is long; then tell mother. Unbe-
coming to talk to others about it.
	C. Modesty  Purity  Impurity: Modesty is the keep-
off sign to protect purity. Men admire modest and reserved
women. When sexual pleasure is wanted, serious sin. If
pleasure comes without desire for it, no sin. Necessary to
look at and touch self for purpose of health and cleanli-
ness; no sin. Example (Cf. model talk). Curiosity leads to
venial sin; desiring, wanting, to mortal sin. Avoid occasions
of sin or the I-dont-care attitude. Impure thoughts and acts
foul the temple of the iloiy Spirit. Act of contrition
after such sins, then confession. Confess worst sins first.
Priests know how difficult it is to confess these sins. Relief
and peace after confession.
	D.	Bad Thoughts: Not sinful to have Gods view of sex.
Impure pictures? Impure desires? All girls tempted. Not
sinful unless wanted. Can always say no. Will power. Not
I wont think of them, but fill mind with clean ideas;
turn mind to good books, radio, music, work, study, play.
	E.	Helps to Purity: Plan ahead to avoid occasions of sin,
e. g., certain books, pictures, companions, etc. Imitate saints,
e. g., the Little Flower; be openhearted with the Blessed
Virgin. Receiving Communion frequently gives strength to
overcome temptations. Make Christ your best friend; tell
Him everything. Self-control gained now by overcoming
poutiness; do not shirk house and school duties. Training
self to say no to these faults trains to say no to temptations
of impurity. Self-control is the key to being a lady.
F.	Sex Pleasure Ii Forbidden Outside of Marriage.
	1. In Marriage. Love leads men and women together, to
unselfish sacrifice in the rearing of a family. Sex pleasure is
Gods reward for sacrifices. Otherwise parents might not rear
28
families, and Gods plan of peopling heaven might be
blocked.
	2. Outside of Marriage. if God allowed sex pleasure out-
side of marriage, children would be born homeless and
would not receive proper care. Ruin of human race. If girls
and women were allowed to enjoy sex pleasure by them-
selves, or with others outside of marriage, there would be no
incentive to rear a family. God punishes sins of impurity
with hell-fire, not purgatory. If punished only by purga-
tory, we would be careless, because purgatory is not eternal;
hell is eternal. V~Te fear hell.

	G. Boys: Girl is built differently from boy. She wants
innocent affection; boys love is predominantly physical. If
girl allows kissing and petting, boy may think she wishes
to commit serious sin. Allowing intimacy cheapens and vul-
garizes a girl. She is like the Blessed Virgin and is a poten-
tial mother. She is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Boys admire
a girl who says, hands off.

	H. Vocations: Either actual motherhood like myself, or
spiritual motherhood, like nuns. Girls have the right to
marriage; can give up that right for the religious life. Both
are pleasing to God. God will make your vocation clear, and
you will discover it by serious thought and prayer.

	III. Co~ci.~usio~: Challenge to purity. Praise it. Praise
models like St. Agnes, the Little Flower, etc. A pure girl is
different.

IV.	QUESTIONS.

	1. Is it all right to know about sex? About marriage?
Why?
	2.	What is Gods plan for marriage?
	3. How are children born?
	4. What attitude will you take toward bad thoughts?
	5.	When do temptations become sins?
	6. What are some helps to purity?
	7. How does self-control help purity?
	8. Why does God forbid sexual pleasure outside of mar-
riage?
	9. Why should a girl be careful with boys?
	10. Is purity worth striving for?
	11. Is there anything else you want to know?
12. Is there anything about this matter that puzzles you?
29
	N. B. If the girls ideas are not clear, explain the matter
again. She may hesitate to answer your questions; help her
in a kindly way. Build on her ideas. Use her Language, the
language of the young girl, when speaking to her. This out-
line is only a suggestion to be fitted to the individual cases.

SOLO FLYING

A TALK TO Boys ON PURITY

	On the field outside a barracks of the American Eighth
Air Force in England during World War II, mechanics were
warming up a squadron of P-38s to escort a group of Flying
Fortresses on a bombing mission.
	In the group of pilots that came striding out of the dark-
ness toward the flight line was a young replacement just
over from the States. The strain of this first plunge into
action showed in the tenseness of his face, though be was
doing his best to cover up his fears. Though eager for the
thrill of seeing his first victim plunge from the skies, he
could not fight down the tightness in his chest or still his
trembling fingers.
	Would he come through all right? Could be handle the
controls in combat? You had to know your plane and what
it could do when Germans and ack-ack were thick as smoke
around you. You had to give split-second response to the
controls, or you would become just a name on the casualty
list. You had to be coolheaded in every tight place and know
what to do almost automatically.

Puzzled

	Have you ever felt like a young aviator going out to test
his spurs? has that feeling of strain, of eagerness for thrills
yet fear of the unknown ever come over you?
	As you dream of life ahead of you, arent you puzzled
over a number of things? You have trained a little for life,
yet you know that the real battles and tests are in the future.
And you want to be coolheaded in facing them.
	You want to know how to face this test of life. You want
to know what this body of yours is for; you want to know
your ship and its controls. No smashup within the enemy
lines for you, but a list of proud victories. Perhaps a medal
or two or a piece of white ribbon on your chest to prove
that you came through the battle of youth pure.
30
Sex Knowledge Is Good and Nece8sary
	Knowing about sex matters is not wrong. In fact it is
necessary. Only the abuse of such knowledge is wrong.
	Remember the story of the Incarnation, which you recall
each day when you recite the Angelus? The Archangel
Gabriel appeared to Mary, the Blessed Virgin, and told her
that she was to be the mother of God.
	She answered Gabriels startling announcement with a
question: How shall this be done, because I know not
man? Her words clearly showed that she knew about sex
matters. I know not man. That meant, I am not mar-
riedI cannot be a mother.
	And Mary was probably only fifteen or sixteen years old
at the time.
	This knowledge of sex did not stain her glorious purity.
Isnt she your model of purity, Mary Most Pure?
	You too can know about sex and still be splendidly pure.

The Wrong Slant
	Yet boys feel rather ashamed when sex matters are men-
tioned. This is natural enoughall boys feel that way. It is
not a thing to be shouted from the housetops, yet there are
times like this one when one must talk about sex.
	Boys notice that older people are sometimes mysterious
about sex matters. And perhaps you have known boys to
get into a huddle and whisper in a smart way about these
things. Such gutter talk makes a clean-minded boy feel
sneaky.
	It is a sad thing that boys get lopsided ideas from each
other's incorrect observations and notions. They believe that
sex pleasure is just animal pleasure, and rather rotten at
that. They brag of how much they know about myste-
rious things. But when they are alone, their consciences
make them ashamed of what they talked about or did.
	Let us turn the spotlight on this subject and get our ideas
straight. And you may be sure that you will heave a sigh
of relief and feel one hundred per cent better about. the
whole thing when we have finished discussing it.

The Right Slant  Gods Plan
	Just what is marriage? St. Paul calls it a great sacrament.
But what is it? It is part of Gods great plan for us. When
the angels who rebelled against God were driven out of
31
heaven and into hell, God decided to fill their places in
heaven with new beings.
	So like the marvelous architect He is, God created this
visible world of ours, with its almost infinite vastness of
stars. He pointed His finger to one spot in this huge uni-
verse, and this earth of ours flashed into existence. Then
He landscaped it in glowing colors with sky and water and
land.
	When this beautiful spot was ready, the great artist
created man to be king of it all. This king of creation was
to rear children who were to occupy for an eternity of won-
derful happiness the places in heaven made vacant by the
fallen angels.
	Man was to have a unique power. He was to help create
those wonderful creatures who were to know earth and
heaven; he was to help create other men.
	He was to be the father of immortftL children.

A Wise Artist

	Wonderfully generous, God shares His creative power
with parents. You know, He could have just commanded,
and millions of children would have flashed into existence,
as did Adam and Eve.
	For God is infinitely greater than any magician; He can
make something out of nothing.
	Yet He planned that parents should help Him bring chil-
dren into the world. That is because He loves us so much.
	He also wants every one of us to work with Him to make
a good job of our lives and to help others to be happy.
	Now God knows very well how difficult this is, because
among other things it means the rearing of a family. You
yourself can appreciate this because you see how hard
mother and dad work to give you the best, to send you to a
good school, to take care of you.
	God also knows that we have a special love for what we
ourselves make. You feel much more big-chested over an
airplane you yourself have built than over one your father
bought you. You would rather build birdho&ises than buy
them. And you get a bigger thrill from something you buy
with your own money than from something your mother
buys for you.
	And dont you like people to notice what you yourself
have built or bought? You certainly do. I built this.
In fact it makes your head swell at times, doesnt it?
32
	It is the same with parents. God lets a mother and a
father share in the rearing of His children; parents will
be prouder of these children and will love them more, since
the children are their own.
	Dont you feel good whenever dad and mother are proud
of something youve done? Why shouldnt they be proud?
You are theira.
	That explains why God created two sexes, male and
female, and planned that they should be married in order
to share with Him in the creation of children. It in a splen-
did plan on Gods part, isnt it?
	Just for love of us, to give us a glorious future happiness,
He creates our souls. And parents for sheer love of us coop-
erate with God to make our bodies.
	Thats why parents love each other, live together, and
then, if God wants it, have children.
	Look at it in this way: You owe two debts youll never
to able to payone to God for your soul, for that comes
from God alone; one to your parents for your body.

When the Star. Burn Out
	Marriage then is a wonderful thing, a splendid sacrament.
	The bringing of a child into the world is much more
important than the building of a magnificent ocean liner
or a dam like the Hoover Dam at Boulder, Arizona. Even
the great air cruisers that span the oceans cannot compare to
the being we call a child.
	When air cruisers have disappeared to break no more rec-
ords, when Hoover Dam has crumbled to dust, a little child
will still be living, eternally happy with God in heaven or
eternally sorry, away from God, in hell.
	You can tell another boy what happens when a cat or a
dog dies. Its just dead, thats all. But you can tell him
too what will happen when you die. Youll be (lets hope
and pray) gloriously happy forever.
	All this is made possible through marriage.

Training School
	An aviator trains for months and years before he gets his
flying license.
	A priest must study for many years before he is ready to
take up his noble task, and then the sacrament of holy
orders consecrates him to his lifes work.
 33
	Married people are also consecratedby the sacragient of
matrimonyto their splendid work of rearing children.
And people who marry must prepare themselves much more
carefully than an aviator does.
	An aviator, if his plane crashes, may be killed. But
married people who make mistakes may hurt each other and
make this life and the next miserable for themselves and
for their children.

Learning Your Ship
	Just as a flyer must know his plane, so you must know
your body and its purpose. God, because of His plan of
having parents share in the creation of children, prepares
our bodies for our part in this creation.
	That is why He made mans body different from womans.
Thus the sexual organs in a mans body are unlike those in
a womans.
	In the sexual organs of both man and woman are found
the life-germs. These life-germs in man are called seed;
in woman they are called eggs. From the union of the
seed and the egg comes the babys body.
	An intimate union of the parents bodies is required to
bring the seed together with the egg. Remember that the
parents are working with God, because God wants them to
share with Him this work of creation.
	Contrary to the notion that some boys have, this act,
which is called sexual intercourse, is sublime and sacred. If
it were not for this act, we would not be here; the saints
would never have been born; not even the Queen of All
Saints, the Blessed Virgin, would have been born.
	Love prompts parents to cooperate with God in this way.
That is why parents, when they wish to bring a child into
the world, must intimately and lovingly embrace each other.
In this embrace the life-germs or seed from the fathers body
must be united with the life-germs or eggs in the mothers
body.
	Then if God wills itfor everything depends upon what
God wantsHe creates an immortal soul, and in this mar-
velous way the child comes into existence.

Birth
	The little child grows within the mothers body for nine
months and is nourished with the mothers blood until the
child becomes strong enough to live by itself.
 34 
	Then it comes into the world from the mothers body. It
is born. This usually causes the mother intense pain.
	After birth infants need a special food; milk therefore
forms in the breast of mothers for the nursing of the child.

A Sacred Thing

	Birth is so sacred that even Our Lord wanted to come into
the world in this way. His sacred body was formed miracu-
lously in His mothers womb, for Our Lord has, as you
know, no earthly father. St. Joseph was His foster father.
	You remember, you say in the Angelus, And she con-
ceived of the Holy Ghost; and the Word was made flesh.
That means that the Holy Spirit through His infinite power,
formed Christs body out of Marys pure blood and breathed
a soul into it. Jesus body grew in Marys womb, and He
was born after Mary had carried Him for) nine months.
That is why we say in the Hail Mary, ~Blessed is the
fruit of thy womb, Jesus. The divine Child caused His
mother no painsuch as you caused your motherwhen
He was born; as He was miraculously conceived, so was lie
miraculously born. And Mary nursed Jesus with her milk
until He grew strong and big enough to eat other food.

A Magnificent Temple

	This should make you understand how you came to have
this body of yours.
	Gods infinite generosity and your parents love probably
make you feel a new respect for this body of yours now
growing into manhood. But your body deserves respect for
even greater reasons. In baptism your body became a temple
of the Holy Spirit, who at this moment is within you
through sanctifying grace.
	And someday, if you live squarely the life of a good
Catholic, your body will be a glorified body, glowing and
shining in eternity even when all the stars are burned out.
	That is what is meant by the phrase in the Apostles
Creed, I believe . . . in the resurrection of the body.

Growing Up

	Ytu feel very responsible for this body of yours now, dont
you? To take care of it properly is a man-sized jobmore
of a mans job than a pilot has in handling an airliner.
36
	You arent a baby or a child any longer. In fact, if som~
one called you a baby, you would make him eat his words.
	And you would be quite right.

	For you are now developing so that you too can be the
father of children.
	You see, when you were smaller, you could not have
taken care of children of your own. Hence God waits until
a boy is about fourteen years old and then gives him the
powers of fatherhood.
	It is a time of many changes in a boy. He becomes rest-
less, he sometimes feels blue, and he finds it difficult to
behave.
	Then too the sexual organs develop and become more
sensitive.
	Temptations against purity are stronger. And though a
boy may have had no use for girls before, he now feels
attracted to them.
	Dont be surprised if you feel clumsy and funny. Every
boy goes through the same experience. It is just a sign that
you are growing into manhood according to Gods plan.

Right Ideas From Right Sources

	It is also part of Gods wise plan that at this period of
your life you become curious about sex matters.
	This is as it should be.
	You are developing the powers of fatherhood, and, won-
derful though these powers are, an ignorant boy might
abuse them and commit serious sins.
	Hence you have a right to know the purpose of your
body. You are learning to manage your plane, learning how
to fly through the dangers of youth into manhood without a
crack-up.
	You should know about sex. But you should get the
information from the right sources.
	If there is anything you wish to know about these mat-
ters, ask your father. lie is interested in you, and wants to
help you. You consult him when you want to invest your
savings, when you pick out a new glove or a tennis racket.
Its his job to advise you, and you ought to go to him. Dont
be afraid of him; he will gladly help you.
36
Something New
	Your mother will help you too, and any priest will be
glad to assist you. Dont ask your companions. They dont
know enough about the subject; they may have wrong ideas
about it. If you wanted to be an aviator, would you ask one
of your churns to instruct you? Or would you get the best
instructor you could find?
	Be open and frank with your father and mother, and
youll never go wrong.
	At your age the seed runs out in sleep.
	Dont let this worry you. All boys experience this, and
you will from now on. Its nothing to be ashamed of, but
there isnt any need for telling anyone about it.
	You see, in the act of sexual intercourse the life-germs~ or
seed, which the father gives toward the making of a new
human being are a sacred fluid which begins to be formed
in a boys body at about the age of fourteen.
	Some of this seed goes into your system and helps you to
become huskier.
	Some of it is stored up; and when the supply becomes too
large, the seed or fluid flows out of the body, usually at
night during a dream that excites the sexual organs.
	This is natural. Even the saints experienced it. You need
not feel uneasy, even if you feel pleasure in a dream.
	If you are half awake, let the seed run out, but dont try
to stop or help it.
	Say a Hail Mary, roll over, forget about it, and go to
sleep again.
A Warning
	The important thing to remember is that you are never
allowed to cause this flow of seed intentionally. If you have
any doubts in the matter, ask your confessor. If you speak
of emissions, he will understand and gladly help you to
clear up your doubts.
	It is seriously sinful to want to cause this flow of seed.
	You are not allowed to cause other disturbances or pres-
sures in your sexual organs by rubbing or handling them.
But if such disturbances or pressures come without your
thinking about them, ignore them and do something in-
teresting.
	It is sometimes necessary to look at or to touch the sexual

37
organs for the sake of health and cleanliness. There is
nothing wrong in that. It is all right to scratch these
organs if they itch.
	If you frequeiitly feel much pain there, tell your. father
abOut it; he wilt probably have you see a doctor to remedy
the trouble.
Danger
	Perhaps you have heard from othersor have experi-
enced, when half asleepthat by handling the sex organs
you can cause a certain pleasure. This is not seriously wrong,
but it is a serious danger for you.
	The danger lies in this: Some boys deliberate~y seek this
pleasure. If the pleasure just comes, you cant help it. But
you cant want it and cause it. Some boys however do want&~~~~
it.	This is gravely sinful.
	Here is where you must control yourself, like an excellent
aviator. A boy may never play with or touch his sex organs
to cause pleasure. If he does he desecrates his body, which
he should respect.

Gods Temple Made Filthy
	Did you ever hear about the desecration of a church? A
hurch, as you know, is consecrated by a bishop.
	Out in Denver years ago a fanatic murdered a priest who
was about to give him Communion. The church had to be
closed because of the terrible crime. The bells were no longer
rung. Mass could noi~ be said there. The Blessed Sacrament
had to be taken away until the bishop could come and
purify the church with solemn prayers and ceremonies.
	Something even more terrible than this would happen to
you if you should desecrate your body by a sin of self-abuse.
	Your body is just as sacred as the grandest cathedral, for
you are a living temple of.the holy Spirit.
	By abusing your body in a sinful way, you force the Holy
Spirit to flee from His temple, your body. Certainly you
are never going to allow this to happen to you.

Smashing
	Would you want to smash another boys face so badly that
his mother wouldnt recognize him? Of course you wouldnt!
Well you can do worse than that by abusing your body.
You can blacken your soul so that even God can barely
recognize it.
 88 
	If you have never abused yourself, you have good reason
to throw out your chest and be proud of yourself. If you
have occasionally abused yourself, try hard to conquer your-
self before it becomes a habit.
	How to get control will be explained in a moment.
If you do not try for this control, your cience will
make life miserable for you, and the hab weaken
your health.
	You dont want to be weak and sissifled, do you? Well
then fight to control yourself and to be pure.

Mastering the Controls
	Now how can you control yourself? How can you emerge
victorious from temptations?
	If you commit the sin of self-abuse, make a swift act of
contrition and confess the sin as soon as you can. Then.
quietly make up your mind to conquer the habit.
	But confess the sin. Dont be afraid that the priest will
be shocked. He knows boys are strongly tempted to such
sins. And he will never reveal your sins to anyone. He
admires you because he knows how hard it is to confess sins
of impurity.
	When you go to confession, confess your worst sins first;
the rest will be easy. Plunge through them. Say: I com-
mitted a sin of impurity alone. Tell how often you have
committed the sin. After confession youll feel that a huge
weight has been lifted from your mind.
	Try not to brood over these things. If you are in trouble,
confess the matter, and then forget about it. Keep going
ahead.
	Dont worry about bad thoughts which sometimes swarm
into your mind. First of all it isnt sinful to know about sex
in a pure way. We proved that. But once you know how
God looks upon sex, dont spend much time thinking about
it.
	Youll say, Oh thats easy to say. But what if bad
thoughts continue to come into my head? What if certain -
pictures give me trouble? What if looking at and talking
to girls bother me?
	I know it isnt easy.

Tips on Temptation
Lets discuss this matter of bad thoughts and desires first.
	Remember that most boys are tempted by them. You
80-
arent alone in that. And remember that these thoughts and
desires are not sinful unless you want them and want to
take pleasure in them.
	Keep this in mind: No matter how strong the temptation
is, you can always refuse to give in. The will inside of you
is like a giant, ready to swing into action and to say no.
	Nothing can take the controls away from you.
	But what if these thoughts continue to come, and I
sincerely dont want them ?
	You cant just keep your mind empty, a blank. You can
look sorrowfully at an empty, ice-cream dish; but staring at
it doesnt fill it. The thing to do is to till the dish with ice
cream.
	So with your mind: Fill it with good thoughts. Turn it
(you can, you know) to things in which you are interested.
Pick up a good book and lose yourself in it. Listen to the
radio. If you play an instrument, ff1 the air with music.
Talk to someoneto your father, your mother, or anyone
who is around. If you have a hobby, dive into it. Throw
yourself wholeheartedly into a game.
	Oh, there are plenty of interesting things to do, once you
think of them.
An Easy Prayer
	Hundreds of boys overcome temptation with this easy
prayer: 0 Mary, my queen, my mother, remember that I
am thy child. Keep me and guard me as thy property and
possession. Then they forget about their temptations by
doing something they like to do.
	You would certainly feel disgusted if someone rubbed
garbage-pail slime over your face. It makes you sick to
think of it.
	Well youre not going to let rotten thoughts make your
soul slimy.
A Spiritual Bath
	Before you go to bed at night, make a swift examination
of your conscience, a sincere act of contrition, and a quiet
determination to behave and to do better. Its like a spiritual
bathsoothing and refreshing.
	Once in bed, hand yourself over to Our Lord, and youll
feel like a million dollarsand be asleep before you know it.

Strategy
	During the war the greatest air battles were won on paper
before they were ever fought.
40
	Just before a squadron of pilots was sent out on a mission,
the commander would call the flyers into the planning room
and give them instructions: This was todays target; that
area was to be avoided because it was usually thick with
Messerschinidts or anti-aircraft fire; the air currents over
those places were tricky; and so on.
	Keeping pure is a far more important battle than any air
battle; and crack-ups are frequent. And you can win your
battles for purity by planning ahead of time. You know
that when you go to a certain place you commit sin; that
place then is a danger spot for you.
	Ill avoid that, you say.
	Its a sure bet that if you go with a certain gang yoi~l1 be
tempted to listen to impure stories or to do impure acts.
	Ill steer clear of them; there are plenty of other fellows
to go with.
	Certain books and pictures are dangerous for you.
	Ill stick to good books; theyre usually more interesting
anyway.
Bread of the Strong
	Frequent Communion is a powerful aid in this battle for
purity.
	Most Catholic college students receive Communion each
week, and you wouldnt dare call them sissies. They know
that Communion is the bread of the strong.
	Just as the bread you eat at home makes your muscles
tougher and stronger, so the bread of Christs body makes
your spiritual muscles huskier.
	Frequent Communion not only helps you to overcome
temptations but usually cuts down on the number of temp-
tations to impurity.
	Make Our Lord your best friend. Tell Him everything,
even the things you are ashamed of. No one else cares more
for you than He does. lie knows you intimately and yearns
to help you to be clean minded.
	And while you are talking to Him, you will feel a myste-
rious new strength creeping into you, a strength that will
make your battles easier.
	He is omnipotent, you know.

Gods Athlete
	You probably do not need encouragement to go out for
all kinds of sports, but it is worth knowing how they help
41
you. Games harden you, toughen your body, teach you to
take it without whimpering.
	But they do more than keep you from being a sort of
sissy. You learn how to fight back, how to control your
temper, how to give up things which might keep you soft.
	Berwanger, an All-American fullback for two years, says
that his success was due to his strict following of training
rules. To harden his body and sharpen his mind, he had to
give up things he liked.
	But wasnt it worth it?
	The soft boy gives in quickly to temptations of impur-
ity because he hasnt learned how to say no, how to control
himself.
	Many of the great track stars of our day are Negroes.
Doctors say Negroes have more endurance because they live
a harder, rougher life than do white boys.
	You may not smash any records in races, but you can
keep a clean record in the race for purity. You may not be
a football or basketball star, but you can have the daring to
say no to bad thoughts, bad pictures, bad companions.
	Your companions will admire the courage of your purity.
Only the jelly-spined individual praises impurity and revels
in it.
	Play the game of life squarelycleanly.

Forbidden Pleasure
	Has this ever puzzled you: that God should have put this
sex pleasure into our bodies yet forbids us to enjoy it at
certain times?
	It seems cruel.
	Lets figure it out.
	When we think of the agony and danger that a mother
undergoes in giving birth to a child, of the hardships of
caring for children, of the difficult time a father has in
making a living for his children, we see why God had to
put into men and women a strong desire for children. With-
out this desire no one would bother having children, no
children would be born to fill the heavenly places of the
fallen angels, and Gods plan would be frustrated.
	So God in his wisdom put into men and women a strong
urge, a drive, an instinct for the act of forming children.
	This is called sex instinct or sex appetite.
	If we didnt enjoy eating  and boys certainly do  we
would not eat and hence would ruin our health. Sick people
42
	Youre not going to be shot down behind the enemy lines
by impurities.
	There is just one more problem for you to figure out; it is
an easy one compared to those youve already solved.
	Why is it a mortal sin to violate the Sixth Command-
ment? Why is it not just a venial sin? Why does God
punish such sins so severely? Is He unjust?
	You already have the answer, but lets write it out just
to make sure.
	We dont worry as much about venial sins as we do about
mortal sins. Venial sins are punished by purgatory, which
isnt eternal; we know well get to heaven from purgatory.
But mortal sin is punished by hell-fire that never ends.
	God had to protect unborn children. He had to keep us
from abusing our bodies.
	So He threatens us with the punishment of eternal hell-
fire if we refuse to follow His plan.
	Is that clear? If it isnt, work through it again. Review
some of the other ideas given earlier.

Vocations
	Two main roads lie ahead of you, one of which you must
choose.
	Either you travel the road of fatherhood of a family, or
you take the road of spiritual fatherhood, which priests and
religious follow.
	You have the right to marry, or you can give up this
right and become a priest or a religious; both of these are
very pleasing to God.
	God will make your vocation clear to you. You will dis-
cover your future work by serious thought and prayer.

Girls
	As a boy grows older, he finds himself more and more
attracted to girls. He wants their companionship; he takes
up dancing; he enjoys parties.
	All this can be clean, innocent enjoyment for him. But
one thing he must remember: A boys sex instincts are
predominantly physical; a girls are chiefly mental and
emotional.
	Girls want only innocent love and affection. They may
allow boys to kiss and to pet them; they fall to see any harm
in it. They dont realize that boys may want to go farther
than that. They would be horrified if they knew that a boy

44
may even want to go as far as the physical act of sexual
intercourse. And an ignorant boy thinks that when a girl
allows kissing and embracing she is just as passionate as he
is, that she feels the same physical urge that he feels.
	Its up to the boy then to protect girls. He should realize
that they are innocent; he should never soil this white pur-
ity of theirs. He should admire the girl who, to protect her
purity, wants the boys she associates with to keep hands
off.
	A boy is a coward if he goes too far. He is taking advan-
tage of a girls innocence.
	Its up to you then to be knightly, manly toward girls, to
be pure with themjust good friends.
	Respect girls as you respect your sister or your mother.
	The Blessed Virgin has thrown her cloak around all girls;
and if you respect her, you must respect them. Girls will
admire you for it.
	Remember too that girls are also temples of the Holy
Spirit.
A Final Tip
	A good many boys (they would punch you if you called
them sissies) say three Hail Marys every day  one for
perseverance as a Catholic, one for their true vocation, one
for purity. These prayers take but a minute. Do you think
you can cram them into your morning prayers?

The White Flower
	A coffin draped with an American Flag rested in the old
chapel at West Point. A cadet who died from injuries he
had received in a football game was to be buried with full
military honors, an unusual event at the old Army post.
	All through the day before the funeral long lines of uni-
formed cadets passed in single file to view the body of their
companion for the last time.
	As each man halted by the coffin, he laid a white flower
on the American flag, and with a respectful salute moved
off.
	Why?
	This cadet had been a star in every form of athletics; he
had been one of the best-liked men in the training school.
But he was more. Throughout his course he had been famous
for his cleanness of mind and body, beloved for his purity.
And in the last goodbye his fellow cadets were paying him
the splendid tribute of the white flower of a blameless life.

45
THE WHITE VEIL
A TALK TO GIRLS ON PURITY

	Curled up comfortably in the porch swing, Mary Jean
looked idly over the velvet lawn.
	A few feet away her mother, seated in a beach chair, was
busy with a piece of embroidery. Neither mother nor daugh-
ter spoke, for the silence of the approaching twilight with
its softened colors was not to be broken with words.
	Besides, Mary Jean was dreaming, reliving the delightful
hours of that morning.
	It had been confirmation day at the academy. She saw
herself standing before the mirror in her room; she felt
again the thrill of seeing her flushed face softened by the
misty veil her mother had given her.
	Then the hurried, excited walk to the academy; the ex-
clamations of her friends over the snowy fabric of her dress;
the approving glance of her aunt, Sister Angelica, who was
trying to hustle the girls into something like order; the
tenseness of the ceremony; even the flinching from the
bishops slight blow on her cheek  all these things were
reviewed in her mind.
	And the excitement afterward, with everyone talking at
once.

A Great Day
	Dreaming, Mary Jean ? Her mother smiled. Mary Jean
gave an answering smile. She and her mother were good
friends. Somehow her mother seemed to read her thoughts.
	Her mothers deft hands ceased to flash over the needle-
work. She leaned back and began to speak quietly.
	When I saw you at the altar rail this morning, memory
brought pictures to me, two pictures of other days. Youll
let me reminisce a little, wont you ?
	Mary Jeans quick smile was sufficient answer.
	Well somehow I saw again the veiling ceremony of your
aunt, Sister Angelica. It wasnt a very pleasant day for me.
We had always been so close to each other. I felt deep down
in my heart that she was doing something splendid, yet she
seemed so young to be giving up everything. She looked
very beautiful in her simple veil.
	Mary Jean couldnt suppress a smile at the idea of Sister
Angelicas ever having been young. But her smile softened
when she remembered the constant kindness of her aunt.
46
Two Veils
	Yes; she took one road, and I another, her mother con-
tinued. Several years later I too wore a veil  that lacy
veil you wanted to wear today. And Im sure I was a great
deal more flustered than sister was during her veiling. My
wedding was the other picture that came back to me today.
And looking up at you, just as the bishop bent over to
anoint your forehead with the holy oil, I wondered what
would be the next great step you would take.
	The girl, deeply intent on what her mother was saying,
moved a bit uneasily as she prepared herself for an earnest
talk.
	Her mother gave her a quick glance and continued.
Then I looked over to the altar of St. Anne, and I fancied
I could hear her talking to the child Mary standing beside
her. I felt that she was telling Mary about life, about what
was ahead of her.
Worth Knowing
	Going to play St. Anne, mother, and give me a ser-
mon ? A mischievous smile appeared on Mary Jeans lips.
	No, replied her mother, but if youll let me, Ill tell
you something you should know.
	And as the girl settled herself more comfortably in the
swing, her mother went on.
	Some people think it is wrong to know about marriage.
But that isnt true at all. Only the abuse Qf such knowledge
is wrong. Remember the story of the Incarnation, which
you recall each day when you say the Angelus? The Arch-
angel Gabriel appeared to the Blessed Virgin and told her
she was to be the mother of God. She answered Gabriels
startling announcement with the question, How shall this
be done, because I know not man? She showed very clearly
by her words that she knew about marriage, I know not
man. That means, I am not married  I cannot be a
mother. And she was probably only fifteen or sixteen years
old at the time. This knowledge of marriage did not stain
her wonderful purity in any way; she is still our model
Mary Most Pure. You, like your namesake Mary, can know
about marriage and still be pure.

Gods Way
	Good people usually dont talk about these things. Thats
because of their modesty; and that is as it should be. But

47
you should know of these things in a pure way. For mother-
hood is beautiful, God-given.
	The girl directed an inquiring glance at her mother and
then continued to stare at the green smoothness of the lawn.
	That lawn is beautiful, isnt it? her mother said. Those
lovely flowers nodding their delicate beads at us, that neatly
trimmed hedgethey are all beautiful, arent they? Its a
beautiful world, Mary Jean, and God is a great artist.
	Mary Jean was perplexed. her mother had begun to talk
about marriage, and now she was talking about the lawn.
	And beautiful as all of it is, continued her mother, it
is all for our enjoyment. We are more important than all
that. Perhaps we are not all so beautiful or so cheerful look-
ing as those flowers or that grass, but we are more wonderful.

New Children of God
	lts all part of Gods wonderful plan. When the angels
who rebelled against God were driven out of heaven and
into hell, God decided to fill their places in heaven with
new beings.
	So Like the marvelous architect that He is, God created
this visible world of ours with its almost infinite vastness
of stars. He pointed His finger to one spot in this huge
universe, and this earth of ours flashed into existence. Then
He landscaped it in glowing colors with sky and water and
land.
	When this beautiful spot was ready, the great artist
created man to be king of it all; He gave man a wife for a
companion and helper. This king and this queen of all
creation were to rear children who were to occupy for an
eternity of wonderful happiness the places in heaven made
vacant by the fallen angels.
	These two, man and woman, were to have a unique
power. They were to cooperate in the creation of those won-
derful creatures who were to know earth and heaven.
	They were to help create other men.
	They were to be the parents of immortal children.

Hard But Lovely
	Over the girl there stole something of the wonder in her
mother~s voice. It was all strangely thrilling, and she lis-
tened intently.
	Wonderfully generous, God shares His creative power
with parents. You know, He could have just commanded,
48
and millions of children would have flashed into existence.
Yet God, who created Adam and Eve from nothingness,
planned that parents should work with Him to bring chil-
dren into the world.
	Thats because He loves us so much. He wishes us to
share in the joy of creation, just as He also wants us to work
with Him to live good lives arid to make others happy.
	Now God knows very well how difficult married life is,
especially in the rearing of a family. You yourself appre-
ciate this because you see how hard dad and I must work to
give you the best of everything, above all a good education.
	God also knows that we have a special love for what we
ourselves make. You feel prouder of fudge you yourself
make than of the box of candy your uncle, Father Jim,
brings you. Ive noticed that you enjoy showing your friends
the things youve made for your room more than you enjoy
showing them anything else in the house.
	I made that myself, you say.
	Parents feel that same pride of creation. God lets a
mother and a father share in the creation of their children
because, if those children are their own, theyll be prouder
of them and love them more.
	You are happy when your father and I show that we
are proud of something youve done. Why shouldnt we be
proud? Youre ours.

Wonderful
	Thats true, mother, said Mary Jean. I never thought
of it before.
	Thats the reason, her mother continued, why God
created the sexes, male and female, and ordained that they
should be married in order to share with Him in the crea-
tion of children. Its a splendid plan on Gods part, isnt it?
Just for love of us, to give us a glorious future happiness,
lie creates our souls. And parents, for sheer love of us, co-
operate with God to make our bodies.
	Thats why parents love each other, live together, and
then, if God wants it, have children.
	It is wonderful, isnt it, mother? murmured the girl.
	Yes, marriage is a wonderful thing, a splendid sacra-
ment. The bringing of a child into the world is much more
important than the building of a great cathedral like St.
Patricks in New York. or on~ of those luxurious oeeari hx~rs
youve heard about.

49
	A lovely home of your own on a vast country estate
couldnt compare in importance to the being we call a child.
When ocean liners carry no more passengers to romantic
Europe, when all the great country estates have crumbled
into dust, a little child will still be living, eternally happy
with God in heaven, or eternally sorry, away from God, in
hell.

	You can tell another girl what happens when a pet of
hers dies. There may be tears over it. But its dead, just
dead; thats all. But you can tell her what will happen when
you die. Youll be (I hope and pray) gloriously happy for-
ever. All this is made possible through marriage.

In Training
	Not even the hilarious laughter of the two academy girls
who were walking down the street roused the motionless
figure in the swing. She was dreaming of a home of her
own, of children, her children.
	Her mother glanced at her, was silent I or a few minutes,
and then went on.
	Nurses train for three hard years before they are ready
for their work. Priests, like Uncle Jim, must study for
many years before they are ready to take up their noble task,
and then the sacrament of holy orders consecrates them to
their lifes work. Married people are also consecrated  by
the sacrament of matrimony  to their splendid work of
rearing children.
	And people who marry must prepare themselves much
more carefully than a nurse does. A nurse, if she makes a
mistake, may be discharged. But married people who make
mistakes may hurt each other and make this life and the
next miserable for themselves and for their children.
	And just as a nurse must know the purposes of medicines
and surgical instruments, so we must know the purposes of
our bodies. God, because of His plan to have parents share
in the creation of children, prepares our bodies for our part
in this creation. That is why lie made womans body dif-
ferent from mans. Thus the sexual organs in a womans
body are unlike those in a mans. In the sexual organs of
both man and woman are found the life-germs. These life-
germs in man are called seed; in woman they are called
eggs. From the union of the seed and the eggs comes the
babys body.
50
Union
	Over the girl came the realization of deep truths.
	An intimate union of tile parents bodies is required to
bring the seed together with the egg. Thi~ act, which is
called sexual intercourse, is sublime and sacred. Remember
that the parents are working with God, because God wants
them to share with Him this work of creation.
	It if were not for this act, we would not be here; the
saints, even the Queen of All Saints, the Blessed Virgin,
would not have been born.
	Love prompts parents to cooperate with God in this way.
That is why parents, when they wish to bring a child into
the world, must intimately and lovingly embrace each other.
In this embrace the life-germs or seed from the fathers body
must be united with the life-germs or eggs in the mothers
body. Then it God wills itfor everything depends upon
what God wantsHe creates an immortal soul, and in this
marvelous way the child comes into existence.

A Woman a Body
	The gentle, calm voice paused for a moment, and then
went on evenly.
	The little child grows within the mothers body for nine
months and is nourished with the mothers blood until the
child becomes strong enough to live by itself.
	Then it comes into the world from the mothers body. It
is born. This usually causes the mother intense pain. After
birth infants need a special food; milk therefore forms in
the breasts of mothers for the nursing of the child.
	The girl threw a quick, sympathetic glance at her mother,
and asked, Did I hurt you, mother, when I came?
	Yes, dear; but I loved you, and I wanted you so much
that I did not mind the pain.
	They were both silent. A strange feeling of gratitude
toward her mother was welling up in the girls heart. She
hadnt known that her mother had suffered to bring her into
the world.
Mother Like Mary
	What Ive told you so far is so wonderful that even
Our Lord wanted to come into the world in this way. his
sacred body was formed miraculously in Ills mothers
womb, for Our Lord has, as you know, no earthly father.
St. Joseph was His foster father.
61
	At noon, when the Angelus bell rings at the academy,
you recall His incarnation when you say, And she con-
ceived of the Holy Ghost. And then you say, devoutly, .2
And the Word was made flesh. What is meant by that?
The Holy Spirit, through His infinite power, formed Christs
body out of Marys pure blood and breathed a soul into it.
After that Jesus grew in Marys womb. And lie was born
after Mary had carried Him for nine months.
	Thats why we say in the Hail Mary, Blessed is the
fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
	The divine Child caused his mother no painsuch as
you caused mewhen lie was born; as He was miraculously
conceived, so was lie miraculously born. And Mary nursed
Jesus with her milk until He grew strong and big enough to
eat other food.
	And someday, Mary Jean, if God wants it, you may
hold a tiny bit of life against your heart, and all the happi-
ness that can come to a woman will be summed up in that
moment when you know that this is your baby, your own
child.

With Respect
	The girl touched her toes to the porch floor and gave the
swing a gentle push. She said nothing.
	Her mother grew silent. She was smiling pensively,
dreaming of the thrill of hearing a childs voice say grand-
ma. Wistfully she turned her thoughts away from the
dream, sighed, and began to speak again.
	This should make you understand how you came into
the world. It gives you a certain respect for your body,
doesnt it?
	But your body deserves respect for even greater reasons.
In baptism you became a child of God, and your body be-
came a temple of the Holy Spirit. Today when the bishop
made the sign of the cross on your forehead with the holy
oils, the Holy Spirit came down from heaven and made this
temple of your body richer, stronger, more beautiful than it
was before. That makes you holier than a church or a
tabernacle or a golden chalice.
	And if you come through life pure and noble, your body
will one day be a glorified body, glowing and shining in
eternity even when all the stars are burned out. That is
what is meant by the phrase in the Apostles Creed, I
believe . . . in the resurrection of the body.
52
	I hadnt thought of it in that way, murmured the girl,
half to herself. It makes you feel differently about your
body, doesnt it?
Growing Up
	Yes it does, replied her mother. And the fact that you
do feel differently about it is a sign that youre growing up.
You arent interested in dolls any more. You are more par-
ticular about your appearance than you used to be. I sup-
pose youve even used some of my face powder now and
then.
	The mother laughed.
	Mary Jean tried to cover her rising blush with a laugh
and then heaved a sigh of relief as her mother excused it
all with:
	Well youre no longer a child. Soon youll be a young
lady. Girls become restless when they are about your age.
Sometimes they feel blue; they become romantic and dream
a good deal. Their bodies develop and become more beau-
tiful. They show more interest in
	Boys, mother? interrupted the girl. Ive noticed that,
and Ive wondered about it.

Boys Are Interesting
	Her mother smiled. Thats perfectly natural, she said.
A girl usually acquires that interest when she is about four-
teen years old. She also becomes curious about sex matters.
	You have a right to know the purpose of your body. If
you went along blindly, you might stumble into serious
trouble. You should know about sex, but you should get
the information from the right sources. Come to me when-
ever anything troubles you. You know I am always ready
to help you. We talk over your new dresses, your parties.
Dont be afraid to ask me about the more serious things.
Dont ask your companions. They dont know enough about
life, and they may have silly and incorrect notions.
	Dont worry, mother. Youre my best friend.

For the Future
	Thank you, dear, replied her mother. I appreciate
your confidence in me. I am glad that we are good friends,
particularly now that you are about to go through a great
change.
	You see, you are now developing so that you can be the
mother of children. When you were a child, you couldnt
	 53 	
have taken care of a baby of your own. But now God is pre-
paring your body to be the golden vessel of your own chil-
dren. About every four weeks you will have a flow of blood.
You neednt be frightened by this; it is normal. Every girl
experiences this each month for a period of many years. Its
one of the signs that God has made you capable of being a
mother.
	During this time of menstruation, as it is called, you
will feel uneasy, excited, and perhaps quite ill. These reac-
tions are natural. You have to be patient. And you will be~
since you know all this is part of Gods glorious plan.
	Try to be especially careful about your health during
this time. Dont exert yourself overmuch. Be cleanly about
it.	Mother knows that you are coming to this stage of your
development. Ask me how to take care of yourself at that
time. You know that I want to see you healthy and happy.
	If your menstruation is delayed for a short time, dont
worry. But if it is delayed for a long time, tell me and Ill
tell you what to do. If there is anything else you want to
know about menstruation, ask me. But if I were you, I
wouldnt talk about it to others. Modest women never do.
	And remember that menstruation is a sign that God is
making you capable of motherhood. Its thrilling to realizer
isnt it, that soon youll be more beautiful, happier?

Keep Off!

	There was a happy glow in the eyes of the girl. Uncon~
sciously she reached up and smoothed her hair.
	her mother went on.
	I often remember my convent days, her mother con-
tinued. We used to think the sisters were strict about mod-
esty. But all through the years I have remembered their
lessons of modesty, and I have been grateful.
	I am glad that the good sisters were strict with us. I
realize now that modesty keeps one pure. Its like a high
fence that is built around a beautiful country estate to keep
vandals and animals from destroying the lawns and the trees
and the flowers. Modesty is like a keep-off sign that protects.
the souls purity.
	Theres nothing men admire more in women than this
delicate sense of modesty and reserve. Oddly enough boys
really prefer the old-fashioned type of girl to the wild type.
A boy puts a girl on a pedestal. He looks up to her. But
 54
if she steps down from that pedestal and cheapens herself,
he loses respect for her.
	I suppose youve noticed the sweet modesty of the sisters
at the academy. It has always impressed me. They taught
me that a girl has to be modest and pure with herself before
she can be modest with others.
	Why is that, mother? asked the girl.
	If a girl who was not pure with herself tried to act mod-
estly with others, she would be a sham. You cant deceive
others very long. But if a girl keeps her mind pure, doesnt
touch herself or look at herself immodestly, she is bound to
appear pure to others.

When Sinful
	Mother, said the girl, Ive often been confused about
such things. I dont understand the difference between a
venial sin of impurity and a mortal sin of impurity.
	That is a difficult problem, agreed her mother. This
is the way I understand it: When you intentionally try to
experience sexual pleasure, when you want it, you sin mor-
tally; you are impure. If this sexual pleasure comes without
your thinking about it or wanting it, you cant help it; that
is not a sin. But you cant want it when it comes.
	Then too we have to do the things necessary for health
and cleanliness; because these things are necessary, they are
not wrong.
	Lets take an example, and perhaps the distinction will
be clearer. You love fudge, dont you?

	You know only too well that I do, mother, answered
the girl.

	Well lets say that eating too much fudge makes you
seriously ill. Doctor Barnes warns you not to eat even a
little piece of fudge. Well say you are visiting Rosemary
Dillon. Rosemary decides to make some fudge. Good man-
ners prompt you to help Rosemary, though you would pre-
fer not to, since youre afraid youll be tempted to eat some
of the fudge and you will then become seriously ill.
	Now thats the attitude you should take in. the matter of
purity: Fear the temptation, hut realize that certain acts
such as touching yourself or looking at yourself while you
are bathing and dressing, since they are necessary, are not
sinful acts.
55
Danger Signs
	To go back to our example: You cook the fudge, and its
delicious odor attracts you. This is a danger sign for you,
because you know from past experience that when you smell
fudge you just cant resist eating it, and when you eat it
you become violently ill.
	So it is with impurity. A girl knows that every time she
looks at certain pictures or reads certain books she gets
impure thoughts and commits a serious sin of impurity by
enjoying those thoughts. Such pictures and books are occa-
sions of sin for her, and she must stay away from them.
	In the case of the fudge, you would get away from the
delightful odor, wouldnt you? You would make some ex-
cuse to get away, for to stay would be an occasion of danger
to your health.
Look Out
	But suppose you didnt leave? Suppose you stayed near
the fudge and, taking a chance, said, Oh, well! Doctor
Barnes only forbade me to eat it. Youd be putting yourself
in danger, wouldnt you?
	In the same way deliberately looking at an indecent
picture or deliberately reading a bad book would be a venial
sin.
	Again the fragrant odor of the fudge tempts you more
and more. Perhaps you say, My, it looks good! And per-
haps Rosemary adds, It tastes better than it looks. You
eontinue to linger until you finally desire to eat some of the
fudge.
	Similarly led by curiosity, you might continue to look
at an indecent picture or read an indecent book until you
desired the impure pleasure. Such desire is a mortal sin;
you have wanted the pleasure.
	Worst of all is the attitude of one who says, Ill take a
chance. I dont care whether or not I get sick. Such an
attitude comes from bad will. You are willing to put your-
self in the danger of serious illness.
	In the matter of purity a person who courts the danger,
not caring whether or not she commits sin, is already guilty
of serious sin. But I know youll never fall into that way of
thinking, Mary Jean.
	Then wanting impurity and enjoying it is a mortal sin,
Mary Jean said, thoughtfully. Just yielding to curiosity
and taking chances, unless I really desire impure pleasure or
 56
have a dont-care attitude, are venial sins. And acts that
are necessary arent sinful. Is that correct, mother? Her
mother nodded. I think I get it now.

Slime
	A neighbor who was passing by called a greeting, and
mother and daughter waved in response. For a moment they
were diverted by the swift changes of color on tree and bush
caused by the play of the dying light.
	An act of impurity, continued the mother, is like de-
liberately rubbing slime over ourselves; it is a deliberate
desecration of the house of God, an insult to the Holy Spirit.
	Did you ever hear about the desecration of a church?
You recall, dont you, the consecration of our parish church
three years ago? Well out in Denver years ago a fanatic
murdered a priest who was just about to give him Com-
munion. The church had to be closed because of the terrible
crime. The bells were no longer rung. Mass could not be
said there. The Blessed Sacrament had to be taken away
until the bishop could come and purify the church with
solemn prayers and ceremonies.
	But when a girl welcomes impure pictures or desecrates
her body by an unclean touch, isnt it just as horrible as the
desecration of a church? Its the fouling of a sacred temple,
the temple of the Holy Spirit. We have the awful power of
Iilackening our soul so that even God can barely recognize it.

The Cure
	I once asked your uncle, Father Jim, how he instructed
people who had difficulties of impurity. He said that ho
advised such people to make a swift act of contrition after
they had yielded to impure thoughts or desires or had com-
mitted a fflthy act and then to confess the sin as soon as
possible.
	He also said that people find it extremely hard to con-
fess such sins because of the feeling of shame. He encourages
these penitenti to confess these sins first, to get them off
their chests, as he put it. Father Jim also remarked that
he admires a person who frankly confesses these sins, and
he enjoys the sighs of relief and the quick, happy steps of
the departing penitents.

When Temptation Cornea
	But, mother, whats one to do when these bad thoughts
continue to come into ones head?

57
	Thats an important question, Mary Jean. Remember
that most girls are tempted occasionally. You arent alone
in this difficulty. But such thoughts and desires arent sinful
unless you want them and want to take pleasure in them.
No matter how strong a temptation is, you can always say
no to it.

	Thats easy to say, replied the girl, but suppose that,
though I sincerely dont want these thoughts, they still keep
crowding in on my mind?
	It isnt easy to get rid of theseihoughts and desires,
came the reply. It puzzled me for a long time, until a
priest showed me the way out. You cant make your mind
a blank, you know. You can sit at your dressing table and
stare sadly at an empty perfume bottle. But just staring at
it wont fill it with perfume. The thing to do is to have the
bottle refilled.
	So it is with your mind: Fill it to the brim with good
thoughts. Turn your mind (you can, you know) to things
in which you are interested. Pick up a good book and lose
yourself in it. Listen to the radio. Play the piano and sing
something you like. Talk to someone-to me, or to anyone
else who is around. Take up some work which fascinates
you; participate in a game you enjoy. If bad thoughts come
while you are in. school, drive yourself to study. And these
impure thoughts, because they receive no attention, will
leave you. You just havent time for them, thats all.

Watchfulness
	There was a serious, thoughtful look on the girls pretty
face. Pleased, her mother regarded her for a moment and
then continued.
	That priest was clever, wasnt he? He also showed me
how to deal with other temptations. He told me to plan
ahead to resist temptation, just as we plan parties; just as we
choose our guests. If you know that certain girls are im-
modest or indecent, you must steer clear of them. If you
know that certain books or pictures will soil your purity,
dont look at them. You know that you can have good, clean
enjoyment in a hundred ways.~~
	Mary Jeans fox terrier came bounding up the porch steps
and, after nuzzling the mothers outstretched hand in a
friendly fashion, jumped up on the swing and panted appre-
ciation for Mary Jeans fondling of his silky ears.
53
	I often envy you when I see you setting out for the
academy. You are so happy there. But what pleases me
most is that I know you are in splendid hands. The sisters
are themselves fine models for you to imitate, and they give
you other models: St. Agnes, who was a very popular saint
in my day; the Little Flower, who is your favorite saint.
And of course every girl likes to kneel before a statue of the
Blessed Virgin and talk over probl1ems with her. Whenever
I see a statue of the Immaculate Conception, I am reminded
of a story I heard during a lecture by a famous explorer.

The Cobra

	In far-off India young girls and women, when they are
indoors, never wear shoes. One day a Hindu girl was cross-
ing a dark room that overlooked the garden. Suddenly she
stopped, trembling from head to foot, unable to move. At
last an agonized cry broke from her lips.

	Mother! mother! she cried, Ive stepped on a cobra!

	Dont move, child. Im coming. Stand still!
	There was a stir in the next room; a lamp shone through
the curtained doorway, and the mother appeared. A terrible
sight met her eyes. The terrified child was bringing all her
weight to bear on her foot that pinned the head of the cobra
to the floor. In the struggle to free its head, the cobra had
wound itself around the childs slender ankle. The mother
came forward. She put her arm around the girls waist and
put her foot on the cobras head. With effort she concen-
trated her weight on that foot. Slowly the struggles ceased;
slowly the coils relaxed their hold, then fell away in lifeless
rings. The snakes head was crushed.
	I love to think that when temptations come to you, you
call upon the Mother of God, who flies to your rescue, places
herself at your side, and crushes the evil that tempts you.

The Great Friend

	The dog, lying in the girls lap, was looking anxiously up
into her face, as if asking why she was so tense. But when a
smile, crept over her face, the terrier, content again, put his
head down on his paws.
	Another advantage of convent schooling is the habits it
builds in girls. Most convent-educated girls, accustomed to
receiving Communion daily, continue to receive Communion
frequently during the rest of their lives. I know you laugh

59
when we call ourselves girls. Our hair may be gray, but
were still young in spirit.
	In those peaceful, happy moments after we have received
Holy Communion, in the quiet of the chapel, we come to
know Our Lord for the true friend He is, a friend whose
friendship endures forever. Tell Him everything, even the
things youre ashamed of. No one else cares more for you
than He does. He knows you intimately and yearns to help
you. And while you are talking to Him, youll feel a myste-
rious new strength creep into you, a strength that will make-
your troubles disappear and your temptations easy to over-
come.
	Frequent Communion not only helps overcome tempta-
tion but usually reduces the number of temptations one haa
to impurity. One cant be impure when one receives the
pure body of Christ into ones heart frequently.

Developing Strength
	Mary Jean was quiet for a time and then frowned.
	Mother, why do you make me help around the house?
Rosemary Dillon always boasts that she doesnt have to do~
anything at home. We could get a maid to do the work; the-
Dillons have one.
	Her mother laughed. Dont you ever dream about a
home of your own ? she asked. Dont you ever dream that
someday youll have a cozy little house somewhere, fur-
nished as cleverly and as tastefully as youve dreamed it
would be?
	Even if you havent dreamed about a house of your own,.
dont you see how the little things you do at home train you
to be unselfish and helpful? Saying no vehemently to the
temptation of skipping out and leaving all the work to me
trains you to say no to other temptations. Biting your
tongue when you feel like being sassy, or forcing yourself
to smile when you feel pouty or impatient, gives you self-
control. And when greater temptations threaten you, you
will be able to turn your back on them because youve-
trained yourself; you have got a grip on yourself.
	You admire Sister Angelica because she is never cross,
however much you provoke her. Well she wasnt so patient
when she was young. But she has trained herself to be
patient and kind, though she may feel like losing her temper
at times. Isnt that what you mean by being a lady?
60
	You may wear gorgeous clothes; but if you havent self-
control, you just arent a lady.

God Repays
	Sermon! Sermon ! chanted the girl. But I asked for
it. Then after a few minutes, Mother, when you talked
about this sex pleasure which we arent allowed to enjoy
because it would be a sin against the Sixth Commandment,
a funny idea popped into my head. It seems cruel that God
gives us the power to enjoy this pleasure and then forbids us
to use it under certain circumstances. It puzzles me.
Im glad you asked about that, answered her mother.
When God gave parents the power to share in the creation
of children, He realized that He was burdening men and
women fearfully. To be responsible for the souls of children,
to suffer as mothers have to suffer in giving birth to chil-
dren, to make sacrifices such as fathers have to makewell,
God knew He was asking a good deal when He asked all
this of men and women.
	He had to put into men and women a strong desire for
children. Without this desire no one would bother having
children; no children would be born to fill the places in
heaven made vacant by the fallen angels, and Gods plan
would be frustrated.
	So into the hearts of men and women He poured this
attraction and joy we call love. It is so beautiful that no-
body has ever been able to explain it. Men and women meet
and are drawn toward each other so powerfully that they
want to unite their lives, their thoughts, their very bodies
through this thing called love.
	Because they love men, women grow more beautiful.
make their homes sweeter, become unselfish and devoted,.
keep themselves good and fine, and bring lovely children
into the world. Love between a man and a woman is Gods
reward to parents for their share in the creation of His
children.
Only in Marriage
	This love between married people is good in itself, but it
must be used according to Gods plan: It must be used only
in marriage. This isnt cruel on Gods part, is it? He has
to protect His plan. God doesnt sanction this love when it
is wrQngly enjoyed, and it is wrongly enjoyed when it is
enjoyed outside of marriage.

61
	That makes it clearer, said Mary Jean. But Im still
a bit puzzled.
	Try to imagine then what would happen if. God allowed
everyone to enjoy this pleasure outside of marriage. The
children that would be born would have no homes like the
homes that married fathers and mothers give their children.
how would they be cared for?
	Again if young girls and women were allowed to enjoy
sexual pleasure by themselves, or with others outside of mar-
riage, they wouldnt bother about getting married and tak-
ing on the hard task of rearing a family. The human race
would be ruined. I~lillions of children would never be born,
and Gods plan of eternal happiness for them would not be
realized.

	Do you blame God for forbidding this pleasure outside
of marriage? No. Rather do you think that Tie is very wise
about the matter. lie has to protect unborn children, other-
wise we would selfishly spoil his splendid plan.
	I understand now, mother, said the girl. It makes me
feel that I am on Gods side in the fight for purity.

	Shall we figure out one more puzzle? asked her mother.

	Mary Jeans look of eagerness was sufficient answer.

Why Mortal Sin?
	Why is it a mortal sin to violate the Sixth Command-
ment? Why is it not just a venial sin? Why does God
punish such sins so severely? Is lIe unjust?
	Well, when I ask you to make your bed in the morning,
you sometimes skip out, thinking: It means only a scolding
when I get home this afternoon, and thats a long way off.
Besides, a scolding doesnt last long.
	We sometimes feel the same waythough we shouldnt
about venial sins. Venial sins are punished by purgatory,
which isnt eternal. We know well get to heaven from pur-
gatory. But mortal sin is punished by hell-fire that never
ends.
	God had to protect unborn children. He had to keep us
from abusing our bodies. So lie threatens us with the pun-
ishment of eternal hell-fire if we refuse to follow His plan.
	The telephone rang, and Mary Jean jumped up to answer
it.	She was gone for about ten minutes and on her return
excitedly told her mother that Rosemary Dillon had invited
her to a party. The mother, amused over the girls excite-
-62

ment, smiled sympathetically in response to the girls rush-
ing words. But when the girl fell silent again, the mother
began to speak in serious tones.
	You know Ive never made you stay away from parties;
Ive helped you to have good times here. Youre going to
enjoy parties and dances very much from now on. And I
dont mind the clean, innocent enjoyment you have with
other boys and girls. But there is something you should
know about the relationship between young boys and girls.

Perfectly Natural

	The girl looked anxiously at her mother. Was her mother
going to forbid her going to parties and dances?
	As a girl grows older, she finds herself more and more
attracted to boys. She wants their companionship; she wants
to be friendly with them. Thats perfectly natural.
	But a girl should know that a boy is built differently
from herself. Girls want only innocent love and affection.
They cant see any harm in kissing and perhaps a little
petting.
	But an uninformed girl would be horrified if she knew
that some boys want to go farther than just kissing and pet-
ting. Love in a boy is predominantly physical. If a girl
allows kissing and petting, some boys think she is willing to
go farther and commit one of the worst sins of impurity.
Some boys might take advantage of her innocence.

	"Its all right to be friendly with a boy; but be modest
and reserved; he will admire you for it. If you allow him
to get too intimate, you become cheap and vulgar in his
eyes.
	If a girl, when she is tempted to be over-intimate with a
boy, would only remember that she is a woman like the
spotless Mary and a potential mother of innocent little
babies, temptation would disappear quickly. If she would
recall that she is a living temple of the holy Spirit, she
would never let anyone harm that temple. Boys will admire
and respect you for your modesty.

Which Veil?

	jhe girl was silent. Her expression was serious as she
stared unseeingly into the darkness that had cloaked every-
thing.
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