| THE MATCH OF THE AGES |
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| VS |
| Ryan: Ladies and Gentlemen...we are just about to begin a match none of you will ever forget. Donkey Kong vs Bowser; A Match Of The Ages! Mario: I haven't announced this yet! The winner of this match will face the SSB Melee Champion at the next Pay Per View, Summer Slamfest! I have decided to make this a No. 1 Contenders Match! Jeff: Really?! Alright! The match is even better now! Mario: So whoever wins this match will face Ganondorf at Summer Slamfest! Jeff: Please, Ganondorf! No more killing! 1 is enough! Ryan: Well, during the break, the workers of SSB Melee have cleaned up the bloody mess from the previous match! And Link has been put in an ambulance. Jeff: Link is dead. All his bones were broken, his arms and legs were separated from his body, and a few more things; I forgot. Mario: I still can't believe what happened. Jeff: Oh man! Ryan: Well we have to move on. WE ARE NOW STARTING THE NEXT MATCH!!! (BOWSER'S ENTERANCE MUSIC IS PLAYING! THE CROWD GOES NUTS!) Jeff: LISTEN TO THE CROWD! They're wild over Bowser! Mario: AHEM! Bowser is my ENEMY! (THE LIGHTS IN THE ARENA SHUT DOWN) Ryan: Well we are still at Hyrule Temple. Jeff: I can't see a thing. Mario: Bowser has the longest enterence out of the whole SSB roster. (FLAMES BURST! HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS!) Jeff: Fireworks, Flashing Lights, and Smoke covering the enterence! Kid Rock's "Cowboy" is the best! Ryan: And this is Bowser's first Memorial Civil War! (BOWSER ENTERS THROUGH THE SMOKE! THE CROWD IS STILL WILD!) Ryan: What an innovation for Bowser! Mario: The following contest is scheduled for 1 fall and is a No. 1 Contenders Match for the Super Smash Bros Melee Championship! Making his way to the ring from Bowser's Castle, weighing at 480 pounds, BOWSER!!! Ryan: I've never heard the crowd support Bowser so much before! This crowd almost wants him to win this match! (BOWSER ENTERS THE RING. HE STANDS RIGHT IN THE CENTER. THE LIGHTS TURN DARK RED & FLAMES BURST AS BOWSER BREATHES FIRE IN THE AIR!!!) Jeff: Now this is a guy who is even more dangerous than Ganondorf: BOWSER! (DONKEY KONG'S ENTERANCE MUSIC PLAYS! THE CROWD AGAIN GOES NUTS! DK ENTERS!) Mario: And his opponent from Congo Bongo Island, weighing at 235 pounds, DONKEY KONG!!! (Donkey Kong makes his way to the ring, and seems angry at Bowser) Ryan: This is it, The 2nd Main Event of the day! (AS THE BELL RINGS, DK & BOWSER STARE EACH OTHER DOWN!) Ryan: DK's gonna punch Bowser! Jeff: Bowser counters! He kicked DK! (DK starts trying to beat Bowser up! Bowser is trying to block every punch!) Mario: Bowser is hardly moving! He won't even fall to the ground! Ryan: Bowser is trying to find a good place to attack. Jeff: WHOA! DK evaded! Bowser nearly crushed on top of him! Mario: Nice strength from DK. Bowser still won't fall! Ryan: DK's gonna try to lift Bowser! Jeff: NO! Bowser is too heavy! Bowser with a Leg Drop! Ryan: DK WITH A STRONG PUNCH! Mario: Bowser still isn't moving too much! He fell a little off the ground but landed on his feet! Ryan: BOWSER'S LIFTING DK! BITE ATTACK! AND HE THREW HIM RIGHT INTO A WALL! DK is exprssing pain at his spine! DK fell to the ground! Mario: DK's spine could possibly be broken. But I don't think so. No. Jeff: This match seems to be all BOWSER! Yeah! Ryan: DK is back up! He's gonna try to lift Bowser again! Mario: Bowser counters! Still too heavy! Jeff: WHOA!!! What a Strong Bully Punch by Bowser! (Up+A in the air) Mario: Bowser's pinning! It could be over here! Crowd: 1...2.(DK kicks out!) Ryan: Bowser now is lift ing DK! Bearhug & a Biting Combo at the same time! Man, that's gotta hurt! Jeff: DK got out of it! He tried to send Bowser up! Mario: Bowser again hardly went up and landed on his feet! Ryan: DK is just punching Bowser right in the face and won't stop! Jeff: OOOHHH!!!! BOWSER CRUSHED DK! HE SENT DK UP! Mario: DK can hardly fight back. Jeff: Bowser should pin DK. He would have him. Mario: DK with a Chop. The crowd imitates Ric Flair's "Wooo" quote whenever they see a chop! Ryan: Well Bowser can take a ton of hits. He is 7', 480 pounds! Jeff: Choppy Choppy! DK choppin Bowser! Mario: Bowser with a Koopa Klaw! Ryan: The Koopa Klaw is what Bowser did to DK back at Egg-Breaking Time! Jeff: Bowser is showing a ton of aggressiveness! DK is being sent all over! Mario: This match is surprisingly a tie right now! Now DK is punching & chopping Bowser! Jeff: It ain't a tie! Bowser is destroying DK! Ryan: And Bowser has never fallen yet! Always have been standing! Jeff: Yeah, Mario! Bowser won't fall! DK is stomped on Bowser's Head but Bowser still ain't moving! Mario: OH MY GOD!!! BOWSER WITH A MILITARY PRESS! Ryan: BOWSER HAS SENT DK OUT OF THE RING!!! SUCH MASSIVE POWER!!! (BOWSER ROARS! THE CROWD IS CHEERING!) Jeff: DK is back in! And he is very angry! He's attacking Bowser! Mario: Wow. Bowser has hardly flew in this match. I think Bowser won. Jeff: BOWSER CRUSHED DK!!! (Bowser pins!) Crowd: 1.....2..(DK kicks out!) Ryan: DK is back up! He rams into Bowser! Bowser is on his feet, dazed! Jeff: DK--Is DK gonna try to lift Bowser up?! Mario: Oh my god! No one can lift Bowser! He's too heavy! Ryan: Here he goes! (DK TRIES TO SCOOP SLAM BOWSER! HE LIFTS BOWSER EXTREMELY SLOW IN THE SCOOP SLAM! THE CROWD IS WILD!) Jeff: YES! HE DID IT! BOWSER IS DOWN! Mario: Both men are down! I didn't think DK could lift Bowser! Jeff: De-ja-vu! That looked like Hulk Hogan lifting Andre The Giant at Wrestlemania 3! Ryan: DK got up! HE'S WINDING HIS ARM!!! Jeff: But he is saving his energy for the Wind-Up Punch later! Mario: Now Bowser is back up. Both are attacking each other! Jeff: Bowser breathed fire at DK! (BOWSER LIFTS DK REAL EASILY!) Ryan: Bowser again has DK in a Military Press! Jeff: I think he's like showing off his strength or something! (Bowser releases DK by throwing him right into a wall!) Mario: OH MY GOD! Such power! Jeff: Bowser has him again! He slashed DK right in the neck! Mario: In the throat, not the neck! Ryan: Bowser in complete control! He has DK in a Jacknife position! Mario: I've seen Bowser do this when I use to wrestle in Japan! This is a Continuous Powerbomb! Jeff: I would really like to see that! Ryan: Well here it comes! BOWSER WITH A POWERBOMB! Mario: And he is still holding on to DK! He's gonna do it again! Ryan: BOWSER WITH ANOTHER POWERBOMB! Mario: Then it's the grand finale! Bowser usually wins with this last Powerbomb! Jeff: WHOA!!! BOWSER IS SPINNING WITH DK UP!!! (BOWSER DROPS DK AFTER A SPINNING POWERBOMB!) Ryan: THAT WAS A SPIRAL BOMB!!! BOWSER IS PINNING! Mario: Bowser usually gets a 3-count after that! So I know it's over now! Bowser wins! Crowd: 1.....2.....(DK KICKS OUT!!! THE CROWD IS CHEERING!) Jeff: OH YEAH!!! DONKEY KONG IS NOT DONE YET!!! Mario: That is shocking! Almost nobody can kick out of the Continuous Powerbomb! Ryan: But Donkey Kong cant get up. Bowser is starting to lose his temper. Jeff: Bowser is now picking up DK. (DK QUICKLY GETS BACK TO HIS SENSES & GIVES BOWSER THE WIND-UP PUNCH!!!) Mario: Now Bowser is--HEY!!! Jeff: OH MY GOD!!! Ryan: DK JUST SCORED THE WIND-UP PUNCH!!! (BOWSER IS STILL STANDING, DAZED FROM THE WIND-UP PUNCH!) Jeff: But Bowser is still standing! Mario: DK's GONNA MAKE HIM FALL! HE'S GONNA DO THAT PUNCH AGAIN! HERE IT COMES AGAIN! (DK SCORES THE WIND-UP PUNCH AGAIN AND BOWSER FALLS TO THE GROUND!!! THE CROWD IS WILD!) Jeff: YES!!! BOWSER FELL AGAIN!!! Mario: So has DK! Both men are down, but DK is crawling to Bowser, so he can pin him for the 3-count! (DK PINS BOWSER!) Crowd: 1.....2(BOWSER KICKS OUT!!!) Jeff: But Bowser has kicked out of the Wind-Up Punch in an early 2-count! Mario: How can anyone kick out of the Wind-Up Punch that fast?! I can't believe I hired Bowser to SSB! Jeff: Uh oh! Bowser is up! Ryan: OH MY GOD!!! Jeff: BOWSER WITH A POWER HEADBUTT! DK IS KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN! Mario: Bowser is now heading to the top! This is Bowser's finisher right here! The Stunning Elbow! Jeff: What's that? Mario: A Flying Elbow Drop! (BOWSER GETS THE CROWD GOING BY LIFTING HIS ARMS!) Ryan: Stunning Elbow; HERE IT COMES!!! (BOWSER LAUNCHES IN THE AIR AND LANDS HIS ELBOW ON TOP OF DK!!!) Jeff: HE GOT HIM!!! Mario: That is nealry 500+ pounds crushing on top of you! I know it's all over right here. Bowser wins! (Bowser pins DK) Crowd: 1.....2.....(DK KICKS OUT JUST IN TIME!!!) Ryan: NOOO!!! IT AIN'T OVER YET! DONKEY KONG IS STILL ALIVE!!! Jeff: I've had enough of DK's ability to kick out of everything! Just like how The Rock does! Get him again, Bowser! (Bowser is losing his temper! He picks up DK and starts jabbing him!) Mario: DK got back to his senses. He is trying to fight back! Jeff: LOOK AT THIS! (BOWSER LIFTS DK!) Ryan: Bowser with another Military Press! AGAIN, HE THREW DK INTO THAT SAME WALL! Mario: That's the 3rd time DK was thrown into that wall! DK's spine is gonna break! (Bowser pins DK!) Crowd: 1.....2.....(DK KICKS OUT!) Jeff: Man, DK just won't quit! Ryan: More jabbin by Bowser! Now DK is trying to fight back! He's punching Bowser! Mario: Donkey Kong is FINALLY back in the match! After nearly 10 minutes of HELL for him! Ryan: Oh, but Bowser is still destroying him! Jeff: Now the match is starting to turn to DK! DK's uppercutting Bowser! Ryan: Nope! Bowser has DK again! SPINEBUSTER! Mario: Geez Bowser, you always gotta get him in the spine! Jeff: I've noticed that Bowser's got those Brock Lesnar-like moves! You know, really strong? Mario: I'll tell ya, Bowser's got this match won. No mater how long DK can still hang in there. Jeff: DK almost scored the Wind-Up Punch again! He just barely missed! Mario: At the same time Bowser nearly crushed DK! Jeff: I sure hope this ain't the turning point! DK got a Pokeball! It's Marill! Ryan: WHOA! No effect! Bowser threw Marill out of the ring! Now he's punching DK! Mario: And he's breathing Fire! He does that to make his opponent busy trying to get the flames out while he can pull off a good move! Now he countered the DK Combo attack! He sent DK up! Jeff: Fire! Fire! Burn DK! Remember "Beavis & Butthead Do America"? Fire is what Beavis likes, so BURN DK! Ryan: Bowser with another Spinebuster! Now Bowser with a Whirling Fortress attack! Jeff: Is DK gonna try to Slam Dunk Bowser?! Mario & Ryan: OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!! Ryan: NO! BOWSER BLASTED DK WAY UP IN THE AIR! Jeff: WHOO-HOO! AWESOME COUNTER! Ryan: DK made his way down! Now DK gonna try to send Bowser up! Jeff: Too heavy! Didn't work. Mario: God this match is getting right down to the wire... Ryan: YES!!! DK SCORED THE WIND-UP PUNCH AGAIN!!! (CROWD GOES NUTS!) Jeff: What the--?! Mario: Bowser is still standing! He lost his balance a little but didn't fall! Jeff: Oh well, sucks to be Donkey Kong. Ryan: Actually, DK has been putting up a good fight. He might win; we don't know. Mario: DK's gonna try to Powerbomb Bowser! Can he lift him?! (DK CAN LIFT BOWSER! HE SLOWLY LIFTS BOWSER AND IS ABOUT TO SLAM HIM TO THE GROUND, BUT DK LOSES HIS BALANCE AND BOWSER CRUSHES ON TOP OF DK! BOWSER IS TOO HEAVY!) Ryan: Wait a minute! Bowser got out of it and he is on top of DK! (referee counts it as a pin!) Crowd: 1! 2! (DK kicks out!) Mario: Donkey Kong kicked out again! Donkey Kong won't stay down! Jeff: How many times has Bowser pinned DK today?! Mario: 6. Ryan: Uh oh! Now Bowser's had it! Jeff: He's angry! Ryan: Bowser is choking DK! Mario: That's a position! He's gonna lift him up in that position, which would be a Chokeslam! (BOWSER LIFTS HIM UP & THROWS DK OUT OF THE RING!) Jeff: Chokeslamed DK out of the ring! Mario: DK can't breathe. He's gonna be outcold for a loooong time. Ryan: Bowser can pin DK anywhere in the building! This is a No-Disqualification Match! (Bowser is very pissed!) Mario: Bowser, now's the time to pin DK! It'll be a 100% chance of a 3-count! Jeff: Bowser's not gonna pin! He's getting someting beneath the ring..............A TABLE! Mario: Oh, I get it! He's gonna make sure DK REALLY stays down! Ryan: He's making the table stand up. Now throw DK through it! Jeff: NO! Bowser's getting ANOTHER table! Mario: What will he do with 2 tables? Ryan: He putting it on top of the other table! Jeff: Is he gonna put DK through both tables?! Ryan: NO! In both of his arms are 2 MORE tables! Mario: Oh my god! How many does he need?! Jeff: Look! He's stacking all 4 tables! Mario: This does not look good at all! Jeff: Are you saying that DK is going through FOUR TABLES?! Mario: Wow! 4 tables stacked up! Bowser is now picking up the outcold DK! Ryan: Military Press! Now he's throwing DK up in the air! Jeff: Wow, DK landed on top of the stacked tables! Mario: Hope DK gets up soon! Ryan: Bowser's getting something else beneath the ring! DK is outcold, on top of 4 stacked tables! Mario: Bowser has a rope! (Bowser whips the rope all the way to the top of the stadium!) Jeff: Look at this! Bowser is using that rope to climb all the way up to the very TOP of the WHOLE Dome! Ryan: YES!!! HE'S GONNA DO IT!!! HE'S GONNA DROP 50 FEET IN THE AIR & FALL ON DK WITH THE STUNNING ELBOW!!! Jeff: That's not 50 feet! That's a little more than 100! Mario: Bowser has made it to the top! The crowd is so beserk! Ryan: Bowser is just under the roof of this dome! Jeff: LOOK!!! BOWSER'S LIFTING HIS ARMS! HERE...IT...COOOOOMES!!!!! (BOWSER LAUNCHES HIMSELF IN THE AIR!!! THE CROWD IS BESERK! MANY CAMERA FLASHES ARE GOING OFF! BOWSER HOLDS HIS ELBOW DOWN AND FALLS 100 FEET, RIGHT OF TOP OF DONKEY KONG! BOWSER CONNECTS THE STUNNING ELBOW AND BOTH MEN GO THROUGH ALL FOUR TABLES!!!!!) Jeff: YES!!! YES!!! STUNNING ELBOW!!! WHOO-HOO!!! Ryan: BOTH MEN ARE OUT! THEY BOTH WENT THROUGH 4 STACKED TABLES! Mario: BOWSER IS SLOWLY CRAWLING ON TOP OF DK! HE'S PINNING HIM! Crowd: 1!..........2!..........3!!! Jeff: BOWSER DID IT!!! HE DEFEATED DONKEY KONG!!! Mario: Here is your winner, BOWSER!!! (BOWSER HELD THE PIN FOR A COUPLE SECONDS AFTER THE VICTORY BUT THEN LET GO! HE GETS UP AND IS CELEBRATING!) Jeff: Man, wood & blood everywhere! DK & Bowser are all bloody! Ryan: Bowser pinned DK just outside of the ring! Bowser is now leaving! Jeff: THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY EVER FOR SSB MELEE! (BOWSER BREATHES FIRE IN THE AIR!) (Suddenly someone is coming! He hits Bowser from behind with a Steel Chair!) Mario: Wait a minute! Someone is attacking Bowser! (The attacker takes off his hood!) Ryan: That's--That's MEWTWO!!! What's he doing here?! He is beating Bowser up with that steel chair! Jeff: He's supposed to be in another wrestling business! Mario: Mewtwo is the Pokemon Wrestling Federation Champion! He now has his belt! He hit Bowser with it! Jeff: DK is slowly getting up. Ryan: Now Mewtwo is now charging up! Here comes the Shadow Ball! He got Bowser! Jeff: DK saw it and has a chair of his own! He's chasing Mewtwo! (Mewtwo teleports!) Mario; Seems like Mewtwo is angry about something. He's not supposed to be in SSB at all! Ryan: Wait a minute! DK is helping Bowser up! (Bowser and DK are pissed at Mewtwo!) Mario: DK helping his opponent up? Have they become friends? What is this all about between DK and Bowser? Ryan: Who knows? Well we are out of time! I'm off to Florida again next week! Disney World! We are about 30 days away until Summer Slamfest! Jeff: I'll tell ya, LINK and DONKEY KONG have both got the beatings of their lives today by the newcomers! Mario: It's settled! It will be Ganondorf vs Bowser at Summer Slamfest for the SSB Melee title! Jeff: OH, that's gonna be good man! Ryan: Well I'm Ryan, he's Jeff Manning, and he's Mario! And we are all signing off! Have a great summer! (Memorial Civil War signs off as DK and Bowser are leaving) |