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| Semifinals- vs (The camera is backstage in Kirby & Ness' locker room. Kirby and Ness are in there.) Kirby: I can't believe we had to face each other! Ness: Yeah. And I messed up and lost. Kirby: And I can't believe Luigi got fired by Mario! Ness: It sucks to be Luigi! Kirby & Ness: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Kirby: And that stalker of DK's is going to reveal himself next month! Ness: Wow. And at the beginning of the day also! Kirby: He's revaling a secret. You know we've already revaled ours! The 2 of us! Back as a Tag Team! Ness: Yeah! The Rattlesnake and Ness HBK! The Tag Team of 2002! Kirby: I gotta get ready for my match! I'm facing the superhero, Captain Falcon! I'm going to stop his winning streak when I give him the Stone Cold Stunner! Ness: Yeah! See ya, Kirby! (The camera is back in the skybox) Jeff: Boy it really sucks to be Luigi! And I can't believe we're never going to to see him ever again! It's like he's dead or something! Ryan: And later today, another person will lose their job just like Luigi! Jeff: Whoo-hoo! Fire Time will be held later today! (CF enters) Jeff: I wish Kirby would lose his job! Captain Falcon is a Superhero! Superheroes always win! So he can probably counter the Stunner! Ryan: I think people are starting to like Captain Falcon now! (Kirby enters with a microphone) Jeff: BOOOOO!!! You suck Kirby, you Austin imposter! Ryan: Kirby's got something to say to Captain Falcon. Kirby: Hey Captain Falcon! Are you as good as Superman, Batman, and others? Captain PLANET is better than you for god sakes! Planets are bigger than Falcons anyway! So today is your last tournament! This match is going to result as Kirby giving Captain Falcon the STONE COLD STUNNER!!! And that's the bottom line, cause Kirby said so! (runs down the ramp) (The Bell Rings!) (CAPTAIN FALCON PUTS UP HIS SHIELD AND DOES THE SAME THING AS LUIGI!!! THE ELEVATOR FALLS!!! THE CROWD STARTS LAUGHING!!!) Jeff: Oh no! Not Captain Falcon too! NO!!!!! (THE CROWD LAUGHS AS CAPTAIN FALCON LOSES!!! KIRBY WINS!!!) Jeff: DAMN IT! CAPTAIN FALCON IS 5-1! HE LOST!!! Captain Falcon: Yes, that's what I would do if I were Luigi! So I'm still undefeated! Take that loss off my score! Jeff: But he let Kirby go on to the final round! Kirby: Oh Hell Yeah! I'm lucky today! Ryan: Captain Falcon just screwed himself by imitating Luigi! Jeff: Man, everyone is talking about Luigi losing his job! Ryan: Well Mario is not coming out. He's still in his locker room with his TV. Jeff: Thank God! I'm a big fan of Captain Falcon! His newest fan! Ryan: Well up next, is our Top 10 Matches of 2001! We'll show you short clips of each match! Jeff: Whoo-hoo! I can't wait! (The camera is backstage. A T-Shirt is in view. It says "Banana-Slamma!" The crowd starts cheering loud! The camera moves up and Donkey Kong is right in front of the camera!) DK: Finally you're going to reveal yourself. You chose Valentine's Day Heartbreak, the first ever SSB Melee Pay Per View! You think you're a giant, a monster, the toughest baddest man around! To me, you are nothing but a miserable piece of trash! (crowd is cheering) How dare you try to go after me for 4-5 months! I just came back from many places! And I heard you once I came back! I couldn't get my mind off of you! I was training to recover from this neck injury, and all I was thinking about was you! So I stopped. Then I decided to go out in the Movie Theater, watch "Orange County" and I couldn't concentrate on the movie, because of you! So after that, I took my go-kart, went to drive back to this arena in Mushroom Kingdom, almost got myself in a car accident, and then crashed at the arena wall! I took my stuff, went into this locker room, and now I've got something else in my mind! Stalker, Mysteryguy, blackman, it doesn't matter who you are, YOU WILL GO ONE ON ONE WITH DONKEY KONG!!! (crowd goes wild!) Ryan Whoa! Donkey Kong is challenging him! DK: At Valentine's Day Heartbreak...You will learn that you never mess with Donkey Kong! BANANAAA-SLAMMA!!! (takes his stuff and walks his way out of the building!) Jeff: YEAH! DK vs Mysteryguy, I mean Stalker, whoever he is! At Valentine's Day Heartbreak! Ryan: DK is still under that neck injury thanks to Link. But Iit seems like Link & DK are through rivalry already. Jeff: DK and Link are done being rivals? Ryan: Yeah. They're no longer concentrating on each other. Well up next is the Top 10 Matches of 2001! Jeff: Whoo-hoo! Here it comes! TOP 10 MATCHES OF 2001 Jeff: Here it is! Ryan: The highlights of each match will be shown! Here are the Top 10 Matches of 2001! 10) January 15, 2001- Mario vs Donkey Kong- The final round of the 2001 King Of The Ring. Mario gets a Bob- Omb. He tries to throw it at DK but accidently takes the explosion also! They both fly! People think- Who will fall out of the ring first? By only 1 tenth of a second Mario falls out of the ring first! DK is outside of the ring outcold as the 2001 King Of The Ring! 9) February 14, 2001- Luigi vs Jigglypuff- All Heart Containers were in this Valentine's Day Match. After a very long battle, they were both at 0%! So the rules had to be changed during the match! Hammers were included. Luigi dominated the match and won, even though Jigglypuff got up to 320% damage! 8) July 4, 2001- DK vs Link- SSB Championship on the line. DK takes out Link throughout the match. Link is constantly hitting the acid in the Planet Zebes arena! DK had dominated the match! DK finished off Link with the Wind-Up Punch, making him the new SSB Champion! 7) September 3, 2001 (8 days before September 11th)- DK vs Pikachu- SSB Championship on the line. Pikachu and DK were equally fit in this match. Pikachu got this match due to a great performence in August. Pikachu got DK in the Electric Drop, his finisher! DK fell to the ground and got up right away by doing Undertaker's "Sit up" after being slammed! DK got Pikachu in a Gorilla Press Slam! Then the NWO (Link, Samus, CF) ran in! Fox McCloud was standing in the ring behind DK! DK turned aroundand Fox bashed him with a steel chair! Pikachu fell on DK outcold and pinned him, making Pikachu the new SSB Champion! 6) December 23, 2001- Link vs DK vs Yoshi- SSB Championship on the line. Yoshi starts making some great moves in the match until Link takes Yoshi by the head and eliminating him by throwing him out of the ring! Link then stuns DK and bashes him with his sword right on the neck! Link breaks DK's neck and finishes him off with the Spinning Slash, retaining his SSB Title. 5) October 28, 2001- Link vs Jigglypuff- SSB Championship on the line. It was a long battle. Link destroyed Jigglypuff in this match but it took Link FIVE times just to keep her down! Jigglypuff kicked out of Link's Spinning Slash FOUR times! Link was angry after the match, even thought he became the new SSB Champion. 4) September 22, 2001- SSB vs The Mob- Which ever team lost is out of business. It was DK, Yoshi, Link, Fox, and Pikachu against 5 teenager punks (I made them up) Mike, Roger, Joe, Nick, and Steve. Pikachu throws Nick out. Yoshi throws Joe out. Link slashes Steve, making him fly out of the ring! Fox Dropkcks Roger, making him fall out of the ring. All 5 SSB men all stomped on Mike. Then Mario came out and made each SSB Superstar give Mike their finisher one by one! Pikachu gave Mike the Electric Drop! Yoshi goes on the turnbuckle and does the Hip-Hop Drop on him! Fox and Link get steel chairs and bash them on Mike! Then they talk trash to him! DK then gives Mike the Wind-Up Punch! Then they all throw Mike out! SSB wins! 3) August 8, 2001- DK vs Yoshi- SSB Championship on the line. During the match DK and Yoshi take it up to the top of the arena, where the lights are! They were 20-30 feet above ground! DK gets Yoshi in a Gorilla Press Slam and throws Yoshi all the way down to the ring! Yoshi fell 25 feet! DK was getting his balance on the lights! He dove a 25 foot Splash! It connected and he pinned Yoshi! It was 1.....2.....and Yoshi just barely kicks out! Yoshi starts attacking DK until DK reversed a whip to the ropes into a Wind-Up Punch! Yoshi was outcold as DK pinned Yoshi, making DK remain SSB Champion. After that match, school had just about started, It was one great summer match! 2) November 22, 2001- Mario and Yoshi vs Fox and Samus- Tag Team Championships on the line. During the match, Yoshi punches Fox and Fox is stunned, setting Fox up for Mario. Mario Headbutts Fox, making him fly over the crowd! Fox is about to fall through the skybox! The commerntary evacuate as Fox shatters through the glass and goes right through a table! Fox is outcold for the rest of the match. ario then goes up there and beats up Fox. Yoshi gets Samus in a Sideslam/Backbreaker Combo and pins Samus, retaining the Tag Team titles for Yoshi and Mario! 1) May 28, 2001- DK vs Fox- Main event of Memorial Civil War. DK and Fox waited all Spring for a match. It came. Either onehad to be thrown out of the ring twice and then pinned for a 3-count. Mario was the guest referee so no one could interfere or they'd be suspended. During the match, Fox threw out DK. After that DK came back in and threw out Fox! Fox was talking trash to him and they continued to fight. Fox threw out DK again later. Then DK Gorilla Press slammed Fox out right away! Fox said to DK that he was the best in the world and came back in. Either one had to pinned in a 3-count. Fox got extremely tired and exausted. DK Powerbombed Fox. Then he got him in a DK Combo! Then another Powerbomb! He then gave Fox his own finisher, the Dropkick! DK was winding up his arm for the Wind-Up Punch! The crowd went nuts! Fox got up and was dazed. DK got him in the Wind-Up Punch and both men fell! The crowd went wild after that! Fox was unconcious was DK slowly pinned Fox! 1........2........3! It was over! DK went up to Mario and they drinked beer in front of Fox! Fox was taken away in an ambulance after the match! The DK/Mario alliance lasted only for the summer. Fox was out for 4 months before coming back. Jeff: No one is ever going to forget that #1 match! Dk was in 7 of those matches! That's why he's ranked #1 in SSB! Ryan: But in the year 2000, he was like ranked #5 or #6! He boosted up to #1! Jeff: That DK/Fox match is going to be talked about for years to come! Ryan: Well up next is the King Of The Ring Finals! Kirby! Jigglypuff! Who will be the 2002 King Of The Ring?! (Commercial Break) KING OF THE RING FINAL- VS Jeff: Man, how come Fox and Yoshi have not showed up yet after Mario's speech? Aren't they even here? Ryan: Yoshi and Fox went home. Remember what Mario said? The rest of them were free today. Jeff: I didn't hear that because I fell asleep during Mario's speech. Kind of like the speech from that black & white movie "To Kill A Mockingbird!" When Atticus was talking about the case in the court room! Ryan: Yeah, it was long. Jeff: I fell asleep in that part when I saw it years ago! Ryan: Well this is it. The very last match in Super Smash Bros! Whoever wins is the 2002 King Of The Ring! Jeff: The 2001 King Of The Ring was Donkey Kong! It was #10 in the Top 10 matches that we just saw! Ryan: DK can't wrestle because he is still recovering from the neck injury. He'll be in the ring again next month. Well here we go! The last match in SSB! (Jigglypuff enters) Jeff: There have been about 20 tournaments in SSB History! Ryan: Jigglypuff was the winner once and was 2nd in another! Jeff: This is definitly her 2nd pace victory! Unless she wins the King Of The Ring! (Glass shatters! Kirby enters) (The Bell Rings!) Jeff: Mario still has to fire someone! Fire Time has not come yet! Ryan: Kirby now with Jigglypuff's Pound ability, stoipping her from falling down the elevator. Jeff: It's Pound vs Pound! Kirby with a Killsaw attack! Splitkick onto Jigglypuff! Ryan: Kirby trying to Pound Jigglypuff with her own signature move. Jigglypuff is getting aggressive. Jeff: Oldskool for Kirby! Missile Dropkick! He's constantly changing his finisher and the Missile Dropkick is his first ever finisher! For 1999 and 2000. His finisher now is the Stone Cold Stunner! We never saw him do it yet! Ryan: Jigglypuff with a Toss. And Kirby sends her flying! Jeff: I hate Kirby! He is seriously annoying! And he thinks he's Stone Cold Steve Austin! Ryan: JIGGLYPUFF COMES BACK DOWN WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!! (crowd is cheering!) Jeff: Great! Now Kirby is beating the crap out of Jigglypuff! Stupid Rattlesnake! Ryan: Kirby with the Cutter Attack! Jeff: Kirby blacking Jigglypuff's attacks. Man Kirby's got this match won! Dropkick by Kirby! Ryan: He's got a capsule. He threw it in the air. Jeff: Kirby with a Skull Bash attack! That is a weak Pokemon move to me. The capsule's gonna blow! Ryan: No it didn't. Kirby with another Missile Dropkick. (The crowd chants "Kirby sucks! Kirby sucks!" Jeff joins them) Ryan: Jigglypuff got a Fire Flower. Jeff: WATCH OUT, JIGGLYPUFF!!! Ryan: NO!!!! Jeff: STUNNER!!!!! STUNNER!!!!! STUNNER!!!!! Ryan: KIRBY GOT JIGGLYPUFF IN THE STONE COLD STUNNER! KIRBY PINS! 1! 2! 3! HE'S THE KING OF THE RING! (Kirby's theme plays) Mike Buffer: Here is your winner and the 2002 King Of The Ring Winner, Kirby! Jeff: Kirby stole Austin's Stunner and won with it. Ryan: Kirby got some beer and is drinking it on the turnbuckle! Ryan: Uh Oh! Jeff: YES! It's Mario! Fire Time! Fire this Rattlesnake wannabe, Kirby! Mario: Congradulations, Kirby! You are the 2002 King Of The Ring! What a great final SSB Match! Here is your giant golden trophey! (crowd boos at Kirby) Jeff: Kirby does not deserve it! He cheated! Mario: Now Jigglypuff...I saw you beat Luigi and all of that...and I liked it. It was quick too. But do you know what?..................YOU'RE FIRED!!!!! (CROWD GOES CRAZY AGAIN AS JIGGLYPUFF LEAVES, CRYING) Jeff: AAAHH, another fire by Mario! He fired the Red-Eyed Demon, Jigglypuff! Ryan: Luigi and Jigglypuff are the 2 that lost their jobs! Jeff: I'm gonna miss them. SSB won't be the same without them! Mario: SAY GOODBYE TO JIGGLYPUFF!!!!! Jeff: Great! Now we only have 10 men in SSB left! That ain't enough! Ryan: And the crowd is starting to boo Mario! Mario is a changed man! Jeff: Mario sucks now! Ryan: Well up next is an ending SSB Clip starring Creed's My Sacrifice. Jeff: I saw it. It's very similar to those WWF Desire Commercials in November and December! (Commercial Break) (The commercial shows any highlights from 1999 April to today. The end says SSB Melee Pay Per Views start February 18th. The crowd applauses after the commercial) (Moments later, Mario is at the grocery store, shopping) Mario: I love my job. Let's see, what's next on my list? .....Yogurt! Okay! Here we are! Let's see.....(The camera slowly moves to the left. YOSHI is behind Mario! The crowd goes wild! He walks up slowly to Mario, opening a Mountain Dew can!) Jeff: Hey! It's Jigglypuff's boyfriend, Yoshi! Ryan: With a mean stare at Mario! Mario: Now what was that noise? (TURNS AROUND AS YOSHI SLAMS THE CAN AT MARIO'S FACE!!! HE PUNCHES MARIO AND STOMPS ON HIM!!! THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!) Jeff: WHOO-HOO!!! YOSHI IS ATTACKING MARIO IN THE GROCERY STORE!!! YEAH!!! YEE-HAH!! Yoshi: (TAKES MARIO BY THE HEAD) Oh, we're going to to love shopping together! (THROWS MARIO INTO THE YOGURT!!!) Ryan: Yoshi is very angry at Mario! Yogurt is all over the floor! Yoshi: How bout some soup, Mario?! (THROWS AMRIO INTO THE SOUPS AS CANS FALL ON THE FLOOR!!!) Jeff: Mario's got food all over him! Yoshi: You heard what DK said! Into "Orange County" you go! Jeff: "Orange County"?! (YOSHI THROWS MARIO INTO A LARGE BASKET OF ORANGES! ORANGES ROLL ALL OVER THE FLOOR!) Yoshi: Let's go get some dinner, Mario! (DRAGS MARIO BY THE HEAD!) How bout some.....TV DINNER!!! (THROWS MARIO THROUGH GLASS AND INTO A FREEZER!!! MARIO IS OUTCOLD SITTING DOWN IN THE FREEZER) Jeff: Right through glass! Yeah! Yoshi: (goes up to Mario's face) I'll see you, in the ring, at Valentine's Day Heartbreak! (leaves) Mario: Oh...........ouch....... (New Year's Worst Nightmare signs off) |
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