Saturday, July 21, 2001

Dear Daddy,

I just have to write you this note to tell you about this wonderful dream I had the other night. I actually saw you, after that massive heart attack that you had and survived. You were so weak and fragile, but you smiled at me, and you were so happy to see me. I wanted to do anything for you, to make you happy and comfortable. I knew that you were still in critical condition, but I knew I wouldn't let you go. I wanted to take care of you.

Daddy, I miss you every day, and I still feel very connected to you in spirit. You are and will always be an important part of my life, and I will always love you. Thanks for that wonderful dream the other night. I live for those dreams, to be able to see you and talk to you.

I love you, Daddy!

Your loving daughter,

Raluca

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Monday, July 23, 2001

Dear Daddy,

Well, here I am again. I miss you terribly, and I can't wait to see you again, in my next dream about you. I want you to know that those dreams mean the world to me. I need to see you, and I need to talk to you and tell you how much I love you. It doesn't matter where we both are, we are always together. Your physical being may have left us, but your spirit will never die. I will keep it alive, for as long as I live. I will always love you, Daddy!

Your daughter,

Raluca

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Friday, July 27, 2001

Dear Daddy,

I have been thinking about you a lot, about your life with Mom and after Mom died, and only now, after I've lost you, can I truly comprehend what it means to be depressed. I remember telling you over and over again, to "pull yourself together", but I know now that that was wrong. You must have felt so helpless and sad, every time I said that to you. I wish you were here, so I could apologize to you in person, for being so impatient with you, and showing no understanding at all, at a time, when, perhaps, you would have needed it most. But the truth is, I had no way of knowing just what you were going through, the paralysis of the will that comes with it, and the inability to function on a normal level (whatever "normal" means, anyway). Only after I was diagnosed, was I able to understand something that cannot be understood. I was able to explain and describe something that cannot be explained or described. Dad, I hope that, wherever you are now, you know how sad I am to have lost you, and how very much I miss you. Who knows, maybe we will see each other again, when my time comes ...........

I love you, Daddy, and I always will!

Your daughter,

Raluca

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