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~~~~5c~~~~

Rubbing small circles on Patrick�s back, Angel smiled at the soft snore that came from the little boy. For an infant, Patrick was a real trooper. He�d only cried once, and that had been during take off. It was Fred who realized what was wrong with the little tyke. She quickly explained that it was the change of air pressure in the cabin that was hurting his tender ears, and after a quick bottle Patrick fell into a peaceful sleep.

Angel wondered how Willow was going to react to the news of him having a child. Would she be happy for him? Or would the thought that he had slept with Darla poison her mind?

�You have that look again.� Fred whispered. �You�re scaring the flight attendants and I really want a drink.�

�What look?�

�That look you get when you�re fret over something you can�t change. The longer you dwell on it, the more intimidating you get. For the people that don�t know you they can get a little alarmed.�

Angel pondered on that for a moment. �I�m worried about what Willow will think of Patrick.�

�She�ll fall in love with him like everyone else has.� Fred assured.

�The old Willow would, but what if she�s changed?� Angel sighed.

�Angel everybody changes, they can�t help not to. But from what I�ve heard about her I doubt that she�ll reject something as precious as Patrick.� Smiling, Fred reached over to caress the sleeping infant�s cheek. �She means a lot to you doesn�t she?�

�Who? Willow?�

�Yeah.� Fred nodded. �You didn�t fret this much when you had to tell Buffy. In fact I believe your words were �It doesn�t matter what Buffy thinks, it�s not going to change a thing�. And that was about the girl you claim to have been your soul mate.�

Angel grimaced. He had said that, and it still rung true. How Buffy had felt, or did feel to this day meant nothing to him. He knew that she would never see Patrick as the cute adorable baby that he was. As always she�d view it as how the situation affected her. That Patrick was a breathing symbol of his betrayal to her. �I thought she was.�

�So tell me more about Willow.� Fred sat back against her seat, smiling at the way Angel�s face softened when he thought of Willow.

�You�re going to really like her. When I met her she was this shy quiet girl. She always saw herself as some plain nobody. But I could see the woman she�d one day become.� Angel shifted Patrick up higher on his shoulder. �She has a quirky sense of humor that most people don�t get. Her friendship and loyalty comes with no strings attached. She�s actually very attractive, but I think her intellect scares most people.�

�I can�t wait to meet her. Wesley told me that she�s extremely intelligent. That she was excepted into several Ivy league schools by her junior year in High School. It�ll be nice to talk to someone who understands what I�m saying instead of thinking I�m some kind of freak.�

�I think she�s going to like you too Fred.� Angel couldn't help but chuckle at Fred�s eagerness.

�I may be out of line when I say this, so tell me to butt out if I am. But Willow sounds more like the person I see as your soul mate. But then again I never met Buffy.� Fred fiddled with the seatbelt, hoping she hadn�t stepped on any toes. She had heard of the love Angel and Buffy had shared. Cordelia had gone on hour upon hour retelling of the ill fated relationship that at times Fred had to remind herself that she hadn�t been there to actually witness that disaster in the making. To Fred Buffy just didn�t sound like a very nice person. Not a girl she could see Angel with.

Angel was speechless. A part of him, the part that stubbornly clung to the fact that he and Buffy had been meant to be, wanted to deny Fred�s words. But the other part, the one that knew he had once loved the slayer, wanted to admit that, yes Willow was defiantly someone he wouldn�t mind spending the rest of his life making happy. So instead he chose to stay silent and ponder what exactly it was he felt of the once shy and innocent redhead.

~~~*~~~

�I don�t get it.� Cordelia shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. �I was positive that Angel would�ve been pounding down the door hours ago.�

�Perhaps we underestimated Fred.� Wesley suggested rubbing his hands together.

Gunn�s teeth chattered in his head, as the trio walked from the Bed and Breakfast they were staying, to the Christmas festival just a few blocks away. They had been so smug that their plan was going so perfectly, and that they had their friends pegged to a tee, they never imagined that Angel, Patrick and Fred wouldn�t show up.

�How can anyone stand this freezing cold weather? I swear my butt just went numb.� Gunn tried to stop his teeth from trembling. He wished he had listened to Wesley and worn that vile looking knit ski cap.

Turning right onto Maine Street they all gasped at the sudden transformation. Every tree was strung with white twinkling lights. Wreaths hung from the old-fashioned lamppost that lined the street. Some stores were still open, for those who wished to get in some shopping. But most of the people walking about were heading toward a park where a stage and several stands had been set up. Carolers in old fashion dress walked among the crowd, singing in perfect harmony.

�Wow, this place is just one picket fence short of being Mayberry.� Cordy snickered as she watched a crowd gather around a group of singers.

�Yes the town does have that feel to it.� Wesley muttered as he looked around. �At least Willow has been safe living here. I hear that the crime rate is embarrassingly low. I bet most of the residents don�t even bother locking their homes up at night.�

�That�s so...� Cordelia took another look around the quiet town. �Boring. My God how do people survive here? Even during a festival it�s way too quiet. The nearest mall is over an hour away. And I was positive that *every* town had to have at *least* one Starbucks. This place isn�t even a *one* Starbucks town. I don�t know how Willow hasn�t gone insane here.�

�Some people think this place is... quaint. The fast paced world has no place here.� Wesley ignored the look Cordy gave him.

Gunn could see an argument in the making and decided to get them back on track. �So what�s the plan now that Fred... is right across the street?� Gunn stepped off the sidewalk and right into a slush puddle. Closing his eyes and holding back an ugly remark. Cordelia and Wesley scanned the throng of people on the other side of the street until they saw Fred and Patrick.

�It�s about time.� Cordelia walked around Gunn who was shaking the excess water from his feet. �Fred?�

�Cordy, you don�t know how happy I am to see you. Angel said to meet him here near Santa, oh and I�m so sorry I told him but your Mother called from Puerto Rico and well Angel-.�

�It�s okay Fred.� Cordelia took a squirming Patrick from Fred, placing a big juicy kiss on the top of his head. �What do you mean that Angel said he�d meet you here?� Wesley asked as he took Patrick away from Cordelia.

�Well Angel dropped Patrick and I off at the hotel about an hour ago. He said that there was something he had to do and that he�d met us here.� Fred smiled as a young couple walked by hand in hand. �Isn�t this place so romantic? Did you know that they filmed Payton�s place here?�

�Let me guess a movie about a very boring small town?� Fred made a face at Gunn and laughed.

�Hello? Can we get back to the topic here? Where�s Angel?�

Fred blushed at Cordelia�s reprimand, �I don�t know. Perhaps we should find where Santa is. If anything I bet Patrick would love to visit Old Saint Nick. �

�Right, because what would Christmas be if some grown man dressed in a Santa's suite didn�t make small children scream and cry.� Wesley paled as they walked in a group to the park.

�You were scared of Santa weren�t you?� Gunn teased.

�No I wasn�t.�

�Wes man that�s the saddest thing I�ve heard.�

�Do you ever shut up?�

~~~*~~~

�Kaddy what are you doing child?� Maddy looked down at Willow, who was sitting Indian style on the floor surrounded by mounds of papers, folders and ledgers.

�Well I was trying to file away the paperwork from this month. But all the files are mixed up and I thought I�d go through them. Then I decided that I should just reorganize the office. I know how you feel about computers, but-. �

Maddy rolled her eyes, and took a giant step over the lose papers to her office chair. �Liar. You were trying to come up with a reason to get out of joining me at the festival tonight.�

�Did it work?� Willow made her best puppy dog expression, only to be scoffed at by Maddy.

�Not on your life. Grab your jacket.� Maddy waited. She was not going to let Willow ruin the carefully laid plans she had spent the last hour making. Even if it meant having to physically force the redhead to the park, she would. �Look closely *Willow* this is *my* resolve face. I have many more years of practice, and I think you will find that I will not take no for an answer. So let�s do this the easy way.�

Willow thought for a moment, studying the stubborn expression on her friend�s face. �Fine. But this doesn�t mean that I�ll like it.�

�Not unless I tell you to.� Maddy snorted as Willow got her jacket, �You�re not going to pout are you?�

�I don�t pout. I retaliate.� Willow laughed as she walked out into the crisp December night.

Maddy led the way to the park, stopping occasionally to say hello to a familiar face. Willow had to admit that she really didn�t mind getting out of the shop, it was just the getting out that was the hardest part. But once outside it was kinda nice to be a part of the world again.

�So Kaddy I�ve been thinking.� Maddy slowed down once they reached the park, linking her arm through Willow�s. �You�ve never sat on Santa�s lap before have you?�

Willow threw her head back and laughed. �No, I can�t say that I have.� It was hard not to let the Christmas merriment get to her.

�Well then before this night is over, I will want a picture of you sitting on Saint Nick�s jolly lap. Let�s just hope that he doesn�t get *too* jolly.� Maddy winked over at Willow�s blushing face.

They enjoyed looking around at the different booths, sipping on hot chocolates and nibbling on treats. It had been a long time since Willow had allowed herself to relax and have fun.

It was perhaps an hour after they had arrived to the park, when Maddy was busy talking to on of the locals and Willow heard a peculiar voice that stopped her in her tracks. Scanning the crowd, she chastised herself for being silly. Turning back to Maddy, Willow offered a tentative smile at Maddy�s questioning look. They looked at a few more booths, when Willow looked up and stood in shock.

Not standing five feet from her was a male that looked just like Wesley. Before Willow could make herself move, the crowd shifted and the person she had been staring at disappeared.

�Kaddy? What is it? You look like you�ve seen a ghost.�

�I think I might have.� Willow scanned the crowd. �Maddy if I were to tell you that just a few moments ago I thought I heard Cordelia, and just now I thought I saw Wesley what would you say?�

�That you�ve had one too many of Mrs. Olsen�s Hot Toddies.� Maddy teased, but started searching the crowed as well. It wouldn�t do for the surprise to fall through at the last second. �Look there�s the line for Santa.� Maddy nearly pulled Willow�s arm out of its socket.

�Maddy I thought you were kidding about that.� Willow dragged her feet. There was a line of children anxiously waiting to sit on Santa�s lap and whisper to him their Christmas wishes. Willow tried several times to talk Maddy out of having to make a spectacle of herself. But Maddy just shook her head, saying she wanted a picture to put on her mantel.

�Your sick in the head you know.� Willow glowered when she was at the head of the line. �Making a Jewish girl sit on Santa�s lap.�

�I know dear.� The older woman tried to look happy, but Willow caught the tear that was falling down from her friend�s eye.

�Maddy what�s wrong?�

�Nothing. I�m just being a foolish old woman.� Maddy wiped away the tears. �Now I want you to listen to me Willow. I love you with all of my heart. Just as any Mother would their child.� Maddy gave Willow a slight shove toward Santa as the child that had occupied Santa�s lap was carried away by his Father. Willow wanted to ask Maddy what she had meant, but the over eager elf was already pulling her to the overstuffed Santa-wanna-be.

Walking down the crimson carpet Willow stopped short of the throne. Feeling as though everyone�s eyes were on her, she all of a sudden understood why kids got so scared.

�Don�t be shy.� Santa slapped a hand on his knee, making Willow burst out into nervous giggles. The entire situation was bizarre. She was standing before some overstuffed make believe Santa, who probably was some local lobsterman, being told to sit upon his lap like she was some timid child. Taking a hesitant step toward him and slipping up onto his lap, Willow laughed again. All of a sudden it felt so right to just let go and be happy.

�So tell Santa what you want for Christmas Little One.� Willow jumped a little when an arm wrapped around her waist. Something about the voice caught her attention.

�I...I don�t know.� Willow answered honestly.

�Everyone knows what they want.� Willow could feel the fake beard tickling her ear. �Close your eyes and say the first thing that comes to mind.� Something about the voice calmed her nerves. Made her feel safe. The pervious uncomfortable feeling of sitting on some stranger�s lap vanished, and a feeling of tranquility warmed her from the inside out.

Closing her eyes, she let her mind go blank. Blocking out the crowd�s hum, the Christmas music playing in the background, everything until all she could hear was herself. She let everything that had happened over the last year vanish, and concentrated on what she wanted. �I want my life back for Christmas. I want to make a difference in this world again.� There the words were said, and she felt a heavy weight being lifted off her shoulders.

Willow opened her eyes and for the first time looked into the eyes of the person playing Santa. The chocolate brown orbs seemed achingly familiar. Time seemed to stand still, she wasn�t sure if she was breathing. She knew those eyes; they had haunted several of her dreams.

Swaying slightly, Willow tried to take deep breaths. It couldn�t be. As tears spilled from her eyes and her lower lip quivered she looked straight into the beautiful brown eyes that were staring back at her. �What do you want...for Christmas?�

A white-gloved hand lifted to her face wiping away the tears. �I want a certain little witch who cares more for others than herself to come home. I want to hear her laughter ringing through out my life. I want to watch her mature into the strong and willful woman I know she�ll one day be. I want my friend back.�

Lifting a trembling hand to the fuzzy white beard Willow gave a little tug, exposing Angel�s handsome face. �A-Angel? How...Why?�

�I�ve missed you...We�ve missed you.�

Willow�s entire body shook as so began to cry. �I don�t know if I can. I-I�m so ashamed.�

Red velvet arms circled her waste, pulling her trembling body close. �Shhh, there�s nothing to be ashamed of Willow. The path that we�ve chosen isn�t an easy one. The things that we see, the things that we do aren�t always crystal clear and good. We fight for good, but it doesn�t always mean that we are perfect. We make mistakes and it�s what we do after that defines us.� Lifting her chin and turning it so to look over at the small group that gathered feet away he continued. �Look Willow. Open your eyes and look at the people that have missed you, who want you by their side in their lives.�

Willow looked and gasped in surprise. Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn and Fred were standing just feet away. All had tears in their eyes as they watched the scene. Willow felt her heart explode at the sight of the familiar faces. �None of us is perfect. We all fall flat on our faces from time to time; and it�s up to us to help one another get back on our feet. We�re a family, and we want you to come home and be a part of it.� Kissing the top of her head, he nodded to Cordelia who picked up Patrick from his stroller and walked forward. �Besides, I think that my son needs a positive role model in his life.�

Willow stopped crying in an instant, her eyes glued to the bundle Cordelia was carrying. Turning to the man who�s lap she was sitting on she searched his eyes for answers. �H-How?�

�It�s a long story. But the short version is, Darla gave birth to him.� Angel looked steadily into her eyes, needing to see her reaction. But Willow turned and slipped from his lap. Once her feet hit the ground she walked slowly to meet Cordelia, her eyes never leaving the tiny infant.

�We�ve missed you Willow.� Cordelia kissed Willow�s cheek.

�I�ve missed you too.� Willow took a deep breath and lifted up her hands. �May I?�

Cordelia looked down at Patrick, then back up to Willow. Without any hesitation Cordelia nodded and let Willow take Patrick from her embrace. �He�s so beautiful.� Willow looked down and laughed softly at Patrick�s wide eyes.

Turning back to where Angel was sitting Willow made her way back to him and his lap. With his help Willow sat again on his knee. �Angel he...he�s so perfect.�

Angel felt his throat constrict. Forever he would remember this sight. Willow sitting on his lap, holding his baby, with a soft smile on her lips. Patrick studying her, his tiny hand reaching for a strand of her hair. �I think he likes you.� He whispered into her ear.

�I hope so. Because I think I�m falling in love with him.� Willow laughed as Patrick gave a hearty tug on the fistful of hair he had latched onto.

�So does this mean you�ll come home?� Wesley asked from behind. Willow looked at the faces of her friends, then past the group to where Maddy stood. Her older friend walked forward, giving a nod.

There was a moment of hesitation as Willow tried to sort through all her emotions. �Yes...� Turning to Maddy, Willow looked at her friend with pleading eyes. �You�re always saying that your old bones could take a break from the winter chill. There�s no snow in LA...�

Maddy laughed. �Willow this has always been my home. But perhaps this is the Goddess�s way of giving me a swift kick in the rear to another path in life. I suppose I could move my business there.�

�Great it�s settled.� Gunn rubbed his hands together trying to give some warmth to his frozen fingers. �Now can we get inside before we all freeze to death?�

Everyone laughed and Angel tucked away that one moment into the back of his mind. He remembered every expression, every tear. So that way whenever he wanted he could pull it out this memory and remember the year he got Willow for Christmas.

~~~END~~~