umt7

~~~7~~~
Willow inspected herself in the bathroom mirror. The tear tracks were hardly
noticeable now. She bent down and splashed some cool water on her cheeks and
took a deep breath. The first Scooby meeting since Angel had gotten back his
soul would be tonight. She needed to compose herself before she faced Buffy and
the others. She didn�t want to break down in front of them and then have to lie
to cover up her emotions. She hated lying to them, she�d done enough of that to
last her a lifetime.

She smoothed her red tresses back, tucking them behind her ears and took deep,
calming breaths. Since she�d resouled Angel she hadn�t seen him, it had been
two days. Truthfully, they never had much contact before he lost his soul so
things were already going back to normal.

Besides, she didn�t want to see him now. She could only begin to imagine his
horror and disgust with her after he remembered how she had behaved with his
soulless counterpart. Not that she was afraid of running into him at the
meeting. Giles and Xander had made it absolutely clear that they held Angel
responsible for the acts Angelus had committed. She new he wouldn�t be welcome
there.

No, what she was afraid of was Buffy�s reaction. She hadn�t heard from the
Slayer either, which usually meant that she was with Angel. She didn�t think
she could bare to see Buffy bound in the room filled with enthusiasm for
Angel�s return, her boyfriend�s reappearance. Yet she also could stand to see
Buffy still angry at Angel, punishing him for the things his demon had done.
Willow couldn�t win either way.

For all intents and purposes Willow and Buffy had fallen for the same guy. The
major problem was that they shared one body. Willow knew that she had loved --
was in love with Angel�s darker half. She looked at her wan face was once more.
"You can do this, Rosenberg. You have to." She exited the bathroom.

*******

Giles was lost in his own conjecture. "Perhaps he spontaneously regained his
soul. The curse was merely interrupted by some force."

"I really don�t care whether he has a soul or not." Xander said, his dark eyes
looked fierce. "Angel�s still a vampire and he tried to kill all of us! He did
kill Miss Calender. We should kill him."

"This isn�t your decision, Xander." Buffy said quietly. "It�s mine. I�m the
Chosen One."

"Who just happens to be the killer�s boyfriend." The young man said
sarcastically.

"What�s with all this Chosen One stuff all of a sudden? Before, you wanted to
be Miss Normal." Cordelia contributed. "Somebody has a god complex."

"Enough." Giles said. His tone precluded any arguments. "Buffy must decide this
on her own."

Willow was worried. So far she hadn�t said a word, didn�t want to draw their
suspicions. Buffy was contemplating killing Angel again? She had to stop this.
"I resouled Angel."

"You resouled Angel?" Giles asked incredulously. "How?"

"Uh, Miss Calender�s notes." Willow grasped the knapsack and handed it to him.

He fumbled with the zipper but finally got it open. Inside, written in the
Gypsy�s own hand was the curse. "Jenny." Giles whispered softly. She had saved
them. He viciously tamped down on his emotions. He had work to do, this was no
time to break down. "And you, uh, performed the ritual?"

"Yes. Miss Calender told me she was working on it. She didn�t want anyone else
to know, didn�t want your hopes to be dashed if she failed. I was. . .worried
about you and Buffy. I wanted to do it. . .just in case. " Another lie. The
main reason she had performed the spell was to preserve Angelus� body. She
believed Buffy and Giles to be more than a match for Angelus.

"I see." Giles read over the spell carefully. "Willow, this was risky. You may
have inadvertently opened a door inside yourself. Once you�ve let magick flow
through you--"

"I knew the risks. I�ve asked Miss Calender about it often enough. I wanted her
to train me in witchcraft."

Buffy had remained curiously silent during the discussion. Giles concluded the
meeting and they all went there separate ways. The Watcher went into his office
with Jenny�s knapsack, presumably he needed some time alone. Xander and
Cordelia went out to her car, they were going to take in a flick. Buffy offered
to walk her home, then the Slayer was off to patrol. They walked in silence for
a block until the Slayer was ready to speak.

"You. . .you did that? You restored his soul ?" Buffy was awed.

"Yes."

"Oh, Willow. And you were keeping this to yourself! Giles and I were wondering.
. .were you worried that I would be angry?" She faced her best friend and then
embraced her."I�m not. You can�t imagine how. . ." She pulled back and kissed
her cheek. "Thank you. You�re a good friend."

I didn�t do it for you, not completely. Well, at least my thoughts are
completely truthful. Thank God Buffy wasn�t a mind reader. "You�re welcome."

" I know that I can�t. . .be with Angel." Buffy appeared to be lost in thought.
"I didn�t want him to die though. I can have him as a friend. . .he can still
be in my life somehow."

"Yes, he can still be in your life now." Willow said sadly. But Angelus could
never be in her life. They finished the walk to her house without uttering
another word.

********

That night, Willow was idly surfing the net. She looked at nothing in
particular. She just went from site to site following links, paying little
attention to the contents of the sites she visited. She was searching for a
distraction. Seeking a net-induced oblivion. There was a peck at her glass.

She went to the doors and saw Angel standing there. He opened the door and
leaned against it. "Willow, can I�"

"Of course." Angelus would have just walked right in like he owned the place.
He didn�t lurk like Angel. She moved out of his way and he entered, looking
around the room.

"I need to talk to you." He said, his hands were in his coat pocket. He looked
distinctly uncomfortable. Angel looked at her bed and then at the desk chair
and then at the floor. He was searching for someplace to sit. Someplace safe.
Clearly, being around her made him nervous.

"Have a seat." She said, indicating the chair and ending his indecision.

Angel sat down carefully. She sat on the end of the bed, looking at her lap.
"Willow, I �m not sure how to say this. I�m sor�"

She held up one slender white hand."Don�t apologize." She didn�t want to hear
him do that. Willow treasured the memories of Angelus teasing her, laughing
with her, making love to her. . .she didn�t want to hear Angel�s regrets about
it.

"I raped you." Angel whispered, putting his head in his hands.

What? "No, you didn�t. . .he didn�t either." Willow said, she went over and
dropped to her knees in front of him. "I wanted. . .I wanted him make love to
me." She gently squeezed his arm, trying to take away his pain.

Angel met her eyes. "He�s so much more experienced than you, Willow. You didn�t
stand a chance against him. He tricked you, gained entrance to your bedroom. He
can be charming when he wants something and he wanted you. He seduced you."

"I didn�t want to stand a chance, Angel. I wanted him. Why don�t you understand
that? You have nothing to feel guilty about." She took on of his cool hands in
her own. So much like Angelus. She couldn�t� help herself. The same hands.
Cool, white marble-like skin that she. . . She dropped his hand quickly.

"But I do."

"What?" Then she saw the guilty look on his face. "Buffy."

"Yes, Buffy." He agreed. "I betrayed her. Not just with you, with Drusilla too."

"Oh." Willow felt tears sting her eyes. "He was . . .with Drusilla and with me
at the same time."

"No." Angel cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. "Once he met you, he
didn�t want anything to do with her."

Willow tried to hide the pleasure that brought her. Angel couldn�t deal with
that now. "You aren�t responsible for his actions, Angel."

"Buffy thinks I am, I feel like I am.."

"I don�t." It was that simple.

He caressed her cheek, unconsciously. He had every one of Angelus� memories.
They were like complex images, complete with technicolor, sound, and even
taste. God help me, the taste of her. . . He shuddered. "You don�t hate me? The
others�"

"I know how they feel about you. I don�t hate you, how could I?" He ducked his
head. "Angel, do you know how many time you�ve saved my life? All of our lives?
And more than that, I know that you aren�t Angelus." A single tear drifted down
his cheek. "You�re nothing like him." Willow tried to keep the wistfulness out
of her voice.

"You wish I was him, don�t you?" Angel said quietly.

Yes. In my more selfish moments. "No. Yes and no. Part of me wishes he were
here. I can�t help that. But I also know how good you are, how you help people.
And Buffy needs you."

"But you don�t?" Angel said. He wouldn�t look her in the eye.

"Well, no." He was making her very uncomfortable. Why did he care about that?

Angel stood suddenly. She was still on the floor as she watched him walk to the
door. He paused, holding the doorknob and turned to look at her. "He did love
you, If it helps. He loved you more than any other woman he has ever known."
And then he was gone.

Willow stood up, still staring at the empty space he had occupied. "How strange
was that?"

***********

That night, Angel paced the floor of the mansion. He had moved there directly
after becoming resouled. There wasn't much left for him at the factory anyway.
Spike and Dru had left shortly after his battle with the Slayer. They were
probably in Mexico by now. He had thrown away most of Angelus� possessions,
preferring his own items. He wanted no reminders of this time in his unlife. He
had also burned every pair of leather pants his demonic self had purchased.

Angel was restless. He grabbed his coat up and went walking once more. He was
playing his conversation with Willow in his mind over and over again. For some
reason, when he saw her now, he saw her through Angelus� eyes. She was so
beautiful and innocent and trusting. No wonder the demon wanted her. Why hadn�t
he, Angel, ever noticed her before?

Suddenly, he recognized where he was. The Summers' House. He watched the light
go off in Buffy�s bedroom. She had survived another night as a Slayer and so
had he. He closed his eyes, he truly didn�t know what to make of his
relationship with the young woman anymore. He had hurt her so much.

He still didn�t know why he was back. What his purpose was. The myriad
possibilities made him uneasy. Before his soul had been ripped away he knew
with utter certainty where his future lie. With Buffy. He�d help the Slayer,
stand by her side and defend the world from demons and vampires. Angel had
always planned to walk into the sun the day she died. But he wasn�t her lover,
not anymore. He couldn�t be. Nor could he imagine a friendship with her. It was
frustrating and confusing to him. And here he stood on the sidewalk looking up
at her window like some lovesick swain.

Angel walked away, heading into the shadows once more. He didn�t deserve Buffy.
He never did. She had so little time on this plain of existence, she shouldn�t
waste it on a monster like him. Yes, Angel had come to terms with the truth. He
was a monster, there was more Angelus in him than he was comfortable with,
despite what Willow said.

But Willow accepted that part of him. She even fancied herself in love with the
demon. He couldn�t help but be intrigued. She had come up close and personal
with his deepest darkest secrets and she wasn�t afraid of him. Wasn�t
disgusted. It was a heady feeling to know that someone else could accept him,
fangs and all. There was more to Willow Rosenberg then met the eye. He intended
to find out more about her.

He looked up at the bit of sparkling moon in the sky. Maybe it was time to get
to know her better.

~~~8~~~

Angel shadowed her movements, silent in the stillness of the night. He watched
her fluidity of movement, admired the innate grace of her stride. She was
fierce, powerful. Like a mythical Amazon come to life. Two vampires approached
her from behind. He tensed, ready to run in to help and reveal his presence.
But he was too slow. She slammed her stake through one�s chest and efficiently
beheaded the other with his own ax. She dispatched them in mere seconds, their
dust blew in the breeze, flying around her blond mane of hair. She didn�t need
him to fight with her. . .for her. . .she didn�t need him for anything. He�d
better get used to that.

With one last look, he turned around and made his way towards Willow�s house.
He felt the urge to speak with her once more. Her gentle demeanor and
genuineness had imperceptibly lightened his soul during their talk. Last
night�s talk had proven worthwhile, though awkward at times. After having been
a social creature for a couple of years now, he found that he craved human
companionship. Willow was the only person he could speak to in the whole world
and she was an engaging companion.

He pecked on her glass once more. She looked up and saw him, her eyes grew warm
and a smile creeped into her expression. Angel tilted his head to the side,
charmed by the change in her features, the light in those snapping green eyes.
Then the light went out. She remembered he wasn�t Angelus. Wasn�t her demon
lover. Angel suddenly had a desperate urge to see her light up when she saw
him, not his demonic other half. Madness. "Can I come in, Willow?"

"Please do." She said, walking over to the door.

He let himself in and then walked over to where she had been typing on the
computer. She quickly closed out the screen she had been looking at. "What�s
that?"

"Nothing." She said immediately. Then she flushed. "Something for school, no
big deal." She took a sip from her water bottle. "What brings you here?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"No, I guess not." She smiled at him tentatively.

"Are you allowed to have boys in your room now?"

She laughed. "It�s nice to see you, Angel."

"It�s nice to see you too, Willow." He sat on the edge of her bed. "Why didn�t
we do this more often before. . .?"

"Yeah, before." She bit her lip, thinking a moment. It was a typical Willow
response. She often mulled over what she was about to say, chose her words
carefully. "I don�t know why we didn�t. Maybe we just lived in different
worlds."

He looked miserable again. "I used to be with Buffy."

"Yeah, that was probably it."

"She hasn�t even talked to me since the night I came back. Hasn�t even come by."

"Have you gone to see her?"

"No."

She rolled her eyes. Men. "She�s probably wanting to follow your lead on this."

"Should I go see her?"

"Uh, I�m thinking yes. You can�t avoid this any longer, Angel."

"I can�t be her friend. Just her friend."

"You can and you will." She said sharply. Dammit, I brought him back to be with
her and he will! "I brought you back so that you two could�" She turned away,
fighting back a sob.

"You have that kind of power?" He stared at her. "You�re not even a gypsy."

"I�m a witch." She lifted her chin. "Or I will be, after I study for a while.
What�s the matter? Surprised little predictable Willow could defeat Angelus."
She smiled bitterly. "Wasn�t as hard as you would think."

Hmmm. . .a backbone of steel in this otherwise gentle young woman. He filed
that bit of information away, while searching for a way to change the subject
to something less emotional. "Can I help you with your school project?" He
said, pointing to the screen.

She blushed that adorable shade of red again. "No. I don�t need a tutor."

"You let Angelus help you with a project." Did he just sound like a jealous
beau?

"You�re not Angelus." Willow said, raising her eyebrows.

"So you keep telling me."

"Come on, Angel. Don�t be that way." Willow soothed. "Tell you what, why don�t
we get some coffee? Or can you--"

"I can, I like coffee actually."

"The Expresso Pump it is." She saved the file, before he could read more than
the title over her shoulder. A Demon�s Touch? Must be a horror novel.

********

"That�s one tall mocha and one grande French roast, please." Angel said to the
cashier. Willow automatically pulled out her wallet from her coat but the
vampire shook his head. "My treat."

She smiled. "Thanks." The man brought over their drinks and they took a corner
booth. Angel looked at the other customers surreptitiously. Large groups of
people always upset him. People in general did that, too.

Willow was happily sipping her mocha, enjoying the fusion of fine coffee and
sweet chocolate. Angel watched her curiously. Humans were so hung up on food,
he�d really forgotten what that felt like. It was such a simple pleasure, one
of many he had unwittingly forfeited to become a vampire. Food hadn�t tasted
the same since he�d become a creature of the night, his taste buds preferred
liquid fare now. "Taste good?"

"Really good." She smiled. "Oz brought me one from her the other morning.
chocolate chip muffins too."

"Oz, yes. I noticed that two of you are close."

Still engrossed in her mocha, Willow didn�t bother to look up before she
answered him. "Uh-huh, I guess so. We�re friends."

Angel�s nostrils flared and his eyes glittered. "And how friendly have you two
been?"

Willow�s mouth fell open at his tone. "That is none of your business, is it?"

"If you say so. " His lips seamed into a thin line, they were white around the
edges. "Just let me. . .he�s not good enough for you, Willow. You deserve
better."

She gave an unladylike snort. "Like who?"

Like me. Where the hell did that come from? Angelus abruptly stood. "I have to
go." He reached into his pocket and withdrew a handful of coins that he spread
on the table. In a matter of seconds he was out the door.

"Was it something I said?" Willow said, staring at the empty place across from
her.

*******

"Angel?" The vampire whirled to see Buffy standing by the hearth. She had her
arms wrapped around her body.

"Buffy, hello." He faltered for a moment. "Are you cold?"

"Yes." She shivered slightly. "I was just stopping by to . . . I was on patrol
. . .I was about to le�"

"Buffy, you don�t have to make excuses." He burrowed his hands into his coat
pocket and turned to face the empty hearth. A chill wind stirred the ashes.

"I wasn�t." A thought occurred to her. "Where were you?"

"I just stepped out for a minute." He shrugged, trying to appear casual.

"Try an hour." He started to protest. "Angel, don�t lie to me." She looked at
him in disbelief. "I�ve been here for a good hour."

"I�I was with Willow." A voice in his head chuckled, unnerving him. In more
ways than one. "I just wanted to thank her, for bringing me back."

Buffy waited for the surge of jealousy. None came. "Oh. How was she?"

"Good." His eyes darkened as he thought of her pleased tone of voice when she
mentioned Oz. "I guess."

"Angel? Are you ok?" She stepped toward him, placing a hand on his arm. He
looked at her upturned face. Buffy. The Slayer. The love of his life. He
laughed inwardly. He hadn�t felt anything besides pain and anger since he had
gotten back. His soul remembered feeling normal in her presence . . .happy.
Willow�s words came back to him. I brought you back so you two could� Maybe he
should try to find what he had before. Maybe his conflicting emotions toward
Willow were the last traces of Angelus�s influence and it would all soon be
gone.

He cupped Buffy�s face with his hand. "Buffy." He muttered low in his throat.
Her eyes were filling up with tears. "Don�t cry, my love."

"Angel, I just . . ." She shook her head helplessly. A part of her wanted to
touch him, hold him, hide from the pain in his arms. Another part of her saw
image after image of what he had done. . .what he could do if they touched
again. A moment of blind passion.

He lowered his head to brush his lips with hers. It felt like kissing a steel
statue. Cold. Immobile. Frozen. His mind flashed with images of Willow, her
heat, her passion, her fire, her magick. He deepened the kiss, trying to block
Willow from his mind, trying to find Buffy, his savior, his warrior for good,
his purpose for existing, in his heart. She just wasn�t there anymore. He would
still fight on her side. His purpose was to atone for his misdeeds, and now he
had more than ever. But whatever spark that had been there had died out. The
embers as cold as the hearth they stood in front of.

Buffy tried to enjoy his kiss. Tried to rejoice in the return of her lover, in
the sanctuary of his embrace. But her watcher�s broken hearted face kept
replaying in her mind. She saw Jenny�s twisted body. Xander full of unexpressed
anger. The quiet hurt in Willow�s subdues visage. She saw Angelus laughing as
he fought her on a dark street. She saw everyone but the Angel she had loved.

They sprang apart at the same time, their looks mirroring each other, full of
regret, pain and hurt. They knew, without speaking that it was over. They could
fight side by side, they could be friends, but they would never again be
lovers. And the scariest part, for both of them, was that it didn�t seem to
matter as much as it should have. But they realized that some things couldn�t
be undone.

Angel�s hand dropped from her cheek. "Buffy, I�m sorry."

"Me, too." She looked down. She needed to get out of here. "Look, I have to
finish patrol."

Angel nodded, feeling defeated, yet relieved that she was leaving at the same
time. "Yeah, you should go."

She leaned up and pressed her closed mouth to his. "I�ll see you around." He
nodded in agreement and watched as she strode quickly outside, to do what it
was that a slayer did. Kill demons. He stood, wrestling with his own inner
version. She never looked back.

*********

Moonlight filtered through the flimsy curtain, it bathed her in an ethereal
glow. She sighed in her sleep, clinging to her pillow. Angel sat down at her
side, the bed dipped under his weight. She was the only thing he had left in
this world. A small young woman who had restored his humanity. His new savior.
Rescuing him from an eternity in God knows where demons end up when they become
ashes. "Thank you, little one. Good night." He ran his hand over her sleek red
hair and pressed a kiss to unlined brow. Angel walked to the door and let
himself out.

"Good night, Angelus." Willow mumbled, still in the dreamworld.

~~~9~~~

"Willow." Oz nodded, hiding a slight smile as she slid into his van. She looked
forward to their morning time together. He was soothing, really. He merely
talked about something seemingly inconsequential. They would discuss music or
school and he would subtly work in some jokes and make her laugh. It was good
to have another male friend.

Though, she suspected that Oz might have some feelings for her that went
deeper. But he didn't push, so she was free to have fun while she was with him
without any strings attached. He probably had no idea that she needed that so
much. She'd hate to see something happen to him. "You're sure you want to go to
the Slayerettes meeting?"

"Not so sure I wanna be called an 'ette' anything, but yeah I need to go."

"Need to?" She said, turning to him.

He pulled in the school parking lot. "Yeah." He sighed, thinking for a minute.
"I know that all these weird things happen here. Now that I do. . .I have to do
something. I can't put the blinders back on. I want to help."

"I know exactly what you mean." He grinned at her and she grabbed up her book
bag, ready to face another day at Sunnydale High.

********

"Try it again. Willow, like poetry? I know a place where they've got it. No,
no. Casual. Be casual. So, Willow, I was wondering if you'd like to go to a
poetry reading. I was just in the neigh- She'll see through that. I just
'happened' to be on your balcony." He ran a hand through his hair. "Would you
like to go to a poetry reading? Yeah, that's good. I'll use that one. " Angel
dusted off his coat, searching for imaginary lint and walked out the door.

Willow wearily laid down on her bed. She kicked off her shoes and threw an arm
over her eyes. There was a new demon in town and she had spent an hour
researching with Giles. Willow had been pleased to see that Oz had fit right
into their group again. He had performed a metasearch on the web with her for
information about the demon. He was proving to be a valuable member of the team.

There was a pecking at the glass again. Angel. She pasted a bright smile on her
face, ignoring the faint stab of pain. It was never Angelus. "Hey there. Did
you hear about Ziqrux?"

"Huh?" He shook his head. "No. Who's that?"

"Demon."

"Oh. Dangerous?"

"Yep. Buffy's looking for him." She smiled. "Actually, she's patrolling in the
Sunnydale Cemetery #21 if you want to go with." The cemeteries were so numerous
that they had been numbered for easy reference, like streets.

"No. Actually I came here to see you."

"Okay." She moved aside and he sat down on the edge of her bed, looking uneasy.
"What's up?"

"I want you to go out with me." Her eyes got big. "To a place! Yes, I want you
to go with me to a place."

She relaxed. "What kind of place?"

Angel groaned inwardly. What the hell was it called again? How can I
concentrate when she's looking at me like that? Glowing green eyes and that
adorable wrinkle of concentration in between her brows. Angel tried to compose
himself. He'd had years of practice at this when he was a mortal. There wasn't
a woman in the village under a reasonable age that he hadn't 'dated'. And
Angelus was always a charming devil. "Uh, it's dark there, people wear black
and are depressed."

"A funeral parlor?" He wanted to take her to a funeral home. Ewww. Oh, this was
a working visit. Not coffee. It was probably to stake some random vamp.
"Staking some vamps, right?" She closed her eyes, getting it. He thinks I'm his
girl Friday without the sexual overtones since he's still trying to patch
things up with Buffy, he wants a friend to fight demons with. She really didn't
need to be Angel's sidekick.

"No! A poetry reading."

"A vampire poetry reading?"

"No, no vampires other than me are involved."

"Um, sure." This sounds like a date. Nah. . .this is Angel. " That
sounds...fun."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." But I really need you right now.
Can't be alone. Say yes. Please?

"Yes."

YES! Wait a minute, why am I so worked up about this? "Great. It starts in
around an hour. Would you like to go for coffee?"

"Yep. I should warn you, I never turn down a mocha so if you keep asking you're
doomed to go with me to the coffee house."

He filed that information away and made a sweeping gesture with his arm to the
door. "After you." A voice in his head chuckled. You're 'after her' alright.

********

She sat next to Angel at a small table in a darkened smoky room. It was cozy,
like being curled up in her grandma's attic while reading. Only it was less
smoky there. The poets were edgy, talking about social issues. Crime, racism,
sexism, and other weighty topics. She noticed that Angel seemed to be
considering their words, searching for something in them. Poetry was so
personal, maybe he was seeking some answers about life.

When it was finished, he escorted her through the park. Sunnydale's botanical
gardens weren't that spectacular but they appeared more beautiful in the
darkened shadows of night. Maybe it was being with him. He made her feel so
safe, she knew that nothing would hurt her while he was around. Angel kind of
had that effect on women, he was a protector.

He took her hand in his and they walked that way for a while. They reached a
small courtyard and he stepped into a patch of silvery moonlight. Angel seemed
to absorb the light, bask in it. He relinquished her hand and tilted his head
back and lifted his arms, like he was offering himself to the moon. There was
something about him. . .his stance, the confidence. "I feel different."

Willow's breath caught and her heart speeded up. "In what way?"

Angel rolled his head in her direction, arms still raised. He slid his eyes up
and down her body like he knew what she looked like without her clothes.
"Released, little one."

That's because he does know what you look like without your clothes! She
gulped. Wait a second. . .did he just say. . .? "Little one?" Angelus' name for
her.

Angel blinked. He seemed shocked by his own position. The words he had just
spoken. He put his arms down and stared at her. "What. . .what just happened?"

"I don't know. Has it ever happened before?"

"No." He shook his head, mentally evaluating his own behavior. "Probably
nothing. I've been dealing with some stuff lately. Buffy and I. . .broke up."

"Oh no!" I released you so that you two could be together again and you both
keep screwing it up. What do I have to do? Draw the two of you illustrations?

"It's okay. It had to be done, Willow. We couldn't repair the damage."

"I'm so sorry." She squeezed his arm. "It'll blow over. You two have that big,
forever kind of soulmate love. I know you can't. . .but there might be a spell
to fix that."

"It's alright." Angel sighed, not wanting to drudge up those issues just now.
Sooner or later Willow would accept it, he had. He took her hand again. "Let's
get you home."

*********

Why isn't he going home? He's sitting on my bed, watching the television. So
very unAngelike. He should be in a dark corner somewhere surrounded by candles
with his shirt off, reading Dante's Inferno or something. He was freaking her
out. First the poetry date thingy, then the moon bath, he'd broken up with
Buffy, and he was watching Animal Planet. "Put that rattlesnake down, you
nitwit!" Now, he was talking to the television.

"That's Steve Irwin." She sat down beside him at a discrete distance away. "I
think he's kinda brave." She offered.

"Brave? He's an idiot." he scoffed. "I'd like to see him face down a cadre of
vampires. Or what about a Lunz demon? He'd runaway screaming. . .like Xander."

"Hey! Xander's brave but he's realistic. And no, I think Steve would probably
jump on top of them and make them mad." She giggled. "Can you picture him
running around the cemeteries with a film crew, picking up some poor demons?"
She did her best Aussie accent. "By crikey! He's a grumpy one. What a beauty!
Don't try this at home folks, these are man eaters."

Angel laughed despite himself. He schooled his features into their trademark
deadpan expression. "We could call him and have a Sunnydale special episode.
Live from the Hellmouth."

"Angel!"

"What?"

"You made a funny!" She playfully smacked his arm. "I thought you were too
broody to make jokes."

"I have a sense of humor." He sniffed.

"Yes, but I've never heard you be funny. Those are two totally different
things."

"You don't know me that well."

"I know. But I'm getting the chance to now, right?"

"Right."

"That's settled then." She rubbed her stomach. "I'm hungry, I'm gonna get us
some popcorn." He raised an eyebrow. "See, that was funny too. It'll be for me,
but it makes me feel better to say for we. I'm a good hostess that way."

He laughed again. Then, as soon as she was out the door he dove for the
computer. His curiosity had gotten the better of him and he couldn't resist.
His mind had been coming up with all sorts of thoughts on a what "A Demon's
Touch" could be about. Luckily, it was still open on the desktop, just
minimized. If he had to actually had to turn the computer on and find a file
he'd be in trouble. Just click the grey box with the rat and voila!

Angel kept one ear on Willow's movements downstairs, he could hear her
heartbeat, the beeping of the microwave as it accepted the time she put in. He
scanned through the words. She was writing a story. . .for English class? She
was writing about a character named Cypress who was having an affair with a
demon named Seraph. Or should I say Willow and Angelus? Angel faltered, unsure
if he wanted to read more. Did he really want to know what she truly thought of
his demon? He knew that she had professed acceptance, but Willow had a way of
saying whatever a person wanted to her and thinking what she pleased. He
listened carefully to her movements downstairs, he could still here her
puttering around in the kitchen. The phone rang and she answered, saying a
greeting to Xander. Good, he'd have time. That stupid boy could talk about
nothing for hours. At least it wasn't Oz. He steeled himself, put away his
regrets about reading her private thoughts, and plunged into the story.

From 'A Demon's Touch'. . .

She walked towards him, red hair fanning around her face like a curtain of
silk. Seraph pressed a single cool finger to her lips before he captured them
with his possessive mouth. "You look beautiful tonight, little one."

Willow should hear that more often. She was a lovely young woman but was yet
unaware of her own beauty. Well, at least until Angelus had pointed it out.

He cupped her silky peaks of pleasure and rubbed them gently. Cypress ran her
hands down his well sculpted chest, admiring the symmetry of his masculine
form. He was a handsome man, so handsome that he almost took her breath at
times.

Angel smiled wickedly. Willow thought he was a hottie, well his body at least.

His large hands covered her own and brought them down his abdomen. And then
lower. Cypress' eyes widened at sight of Seraph's love stick.

Angel blinked. Love stick? Some sort of a ritual wand? No. . .that didn't fit
within the text. Why, she means mine, er, his. . .

He heard her footsteps coming up the stairs. Angel lifted his hand from the
keyboard, minimized the file, and jumped back on the bed. He tucked his hands
behind his head and tried to be appear casual as she appeared in the doorway.
"Steve's doing something dangerous. He just picked up a-" He stared a moment at
the television. "Actually, he's off the air. It's those animal vets now."

"Uh huh." She had a steaming bowl of popcorn and some cola cans for both of
them. "I brought you some pop too. I figured that caffeine was caffeine. Do you
drink it?"

"Yeah, I've had Coca-Cola before." He chuckled a little. "Funny story actually.
I had my first taste just after it was invented." She looked at him curiously,
trying to gauge his erratic mood. He looked shifty. And jumpy . He didn't even
have any stimulant laden beverages yet. "But I'll tell you later. Hey, did you
know the first Cokes had cocaine in them?"

"Yes." She pursed her lips. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Not a thing. No. I have to go." He stood up and made a
beeline for the door. "Night, Willow." He called.

Willow set down the pops and her corn. "Why is he always running out on me?"
She stuck out a hand and breathed, batting the scent back to her nostrils. "My
breath doesn't smell."

********

Angel lay in bed, Willow's words were floating around in his mind. He was
trying to identify what he felt. Then it hit him. Jealousy. Plain and simple.
He was jealous of, for all intents and purposes, himself. It had been his body
that had given Willow her first taste of passion but he hadn't actually been
there. God help him, he did wish he had been.

Her 'story' moved him, made him want to fulfill some of those girlish romantic
notions and ideals and teach her true desire. Angel realized that she was
discovering herself and what she was like a sensual, sexual being. Angelus
wanted her and took her, he had awakened her slumbering sexuality. But he
wasn't here to deal with consequences, help her handle the experience. She was
all alone in this. . .because of him.

Angel rolled over. True, he had taken Buffy's virginity. But she was a strong
young woman. A warrior fighting the good fight. She'd been able to deal with
Angelus and put the whole ordeal behind her. She didn't need him. Willow did.

This was more fallout from Angelus' 'visit' to the Hellmouth. But this was
something he could correct. He told himself that he was only willing to do this
because it was right and necessary. It had to be done. He wasn't about to let
Willow seek to fulfill these cravings with some untried boy like Oz. No, he was
going to be the one who would teach her about making love. Help her appreciate
her own body and her mind. Mold her into the amazing young woman she was
becoming.

~~~10~~~

Angel walked down main street. It was just after midnight and the place was
deserted. It was his favorite time of the night. There was a lull in demon
activity and the human traffic was also at a low point. It allowed him to
collect his thoughts. He had a song stuck in his head as he gazed up at the
moon. Angel paused to sit on a porch stoop and allowed himself to whisper
along, not wanting to wake the occupants of the house up. "It's a wonderful
night for a moon dance, it's a wonderful night for romance."

He grinned as he leaned back to take a better look. It was bright in the
velvety blackness of the night sky. Almost a full moon. It would be here in
only two more nights. He usually dreaded those nights. Both demons and humans
acted up at that time. Moon madness is what they called it when he was a child.
'Lunacy' actually came from the French word for moon -- luna. He chuckled as he
shook his head, he was full of useless knowledge.

Now he was looking forward to the full moon. He felt stronger, more powerful in
the moonlight but he had no explanation for it. It was as if he was at peace
with himself. That hadn't happened since he got the soul back. True, Angelus
was a brutal bastard but he was comfortable with himself. And he had no
problems in the self-esteem department. Angel had always felt set apart from
both demons and humans. He wasn't completely one or the other, yet somehow, he
felt whole now.

Angel reluctantly stood and continued walking. He was also in an inordinately
good mood, which was surprising. All in all, his life sucked -- he'd lost his
girlfriend, he'd went evil and terrorized his only friends, and he'd taken
advantage of Willow. Sweet, innocent Willow. His thoughts drifted towards
Willow as they inevitably did. She was the brightest spot in his existence now.

He still intended to follow through on his seduction plans for the young woman.
It was for her own good really. Angelus had awakened her sleeping sensuality,
not even stopping to consider the consequences. He didn't want Willow
experimenting -- as he knew she would do -- with another man. Well, boy really.
Oz was a mere child compared to him. Funny, he didn't think of Willow as being
a child. Angel looked up in surprise. He had drifted to Willow's house without
realizing it. He grinned, his body seemed to have a mind of it's own. Maybe it
was time for a visit.

*********

Willow shut her eyes, lost in memories of Angelus' touch. She drifted in a
quiescent idle, dreaming of his fingers drifting over her, the feel of his
hands on her skin. It had been so perfect, her one night with him. He had been
the consummate blend of demonly danger and gentlemanly concern. Touching her
body in ways that made her tingle even now, just thinking about it. Who would
have thought he could be so seductive?

"What are you thinking about?"

She jumped. Great. Another Angel sneak attack. Xander was right, he really did
need a bell. "Nothing." Oh, yeah, that was convincing, Willow.

Angel smiled wolfishly as he hopped up on the desk surface beside her computer.
He was enjoying her discomfort, pleased to know that he bothered her. She
wasn't immune. "What are you writing about? Must be very interesting." He
cocked his head to one side. "I can even hear your heart beating faster."

"Oh, it's a scary story. Uh-huh. Very scary! " Willow lied.

"You live on the Hellmouth with real demons running around. . .and a story
you're writing scared you? Not buying it, but I'll let it go." He tried not to
sound upset. She was thinking about Angelus again. He hoped that maybe she
would confess what she was writing.

"Uh, Angel?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearing leather pants?" She was looking at his legs as if a snake
had slithered up beside her.

Angel leaned back on the desk and looked down at his legs. "I was searching
around for something to wear in my closet and they just felt so good when I
accidently touched them. I wanted to put them on." Angel's sable eyes were
fastened on her. "So soft and inviting. I had to have. . .them." She gulped, he
wasn't talking about his pants. "Touch them."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Angel." Willow blushed furiously.

She wouldn't have hesitated to touch Angelus. Hell, they'd have been on the
floor by now if he were his demon. A small voice in his head crowed with
laughter. 'Jealous, soul boy?' He ignored the voice, wanting only to focus on
her. Making her want him. "Touch them. Come on, you know you want to." His
voice was hoarse. She wasn't sure if he was pleading with her or ordering her.

Willow tentatively ran her hand down his leather clad knee. She patted it
awkwardly. "Nice. Was it expensive?" She pulled her hand away as if it had been
burned.

"Nice?" Angel laughed throatily. "I know something that would be nicer." He
brought her hand up to his thigh and ran it up his leg inch by inch. Letting
her feel every sinewed length of muscle. Until he almost reached . . .

She pulled away. "What are you doing!?" She jumped up, then her face softened
and her voice became a mere whisper. "Angelus?"

He scowled. "No, not Angelus. I'm Angel. Angel!" He jumped up from the desk to
stand over her. Then his hands reached down to pull her up and stand her on the
chair. She was not a little bit taller than he was. But he was in control.
There was no doubt about that. "It eats at you, doesn't it? Seeing me in this
body instead of him."

"No! No, I'm glad to have you back. " She denied.

"Are you really? Or are you just disappointed?"

"Of course not! You're my friend."

"Friend? Friendship is so weak, Willow. It's not what I want to be to you."

"But Buffy-"

"I get it now. You are disappointed. Disappointed that I didn't turn away from
you, transfer my affections to Buffy. Forget about poor little Willow. That
robs you of the chance to be the martyr, doesn't it? Doesn't help you get over
your guilt." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to his
body. "I can't forget about you, Willow. I can't! You're in my thoughts, in my
dreams. All I can see is you!"

"I-I'm sorry." She took a deep breath. "I didn't know you felt that way. I'll
leave you alone-"

"But I don't want you to leave me alone. I want you." He pulled her down to
kiss him, ravaging her mouth. "Do you know that? I need you, Willow, I want you
all the time."

"W-we can't. Angel, if we-"

"Isn't that what you want? All you have to do is give me a moment's happiness
and you get him back. I know you've thought about it."

"No, I haven't!"

"Yes, you have." He tightened his hold on her. "One moment of happiness,
Willow, and he could be yours."

"Stop it! I love Buffy, I would never-"

"This isn't about Buffy. We're OVER! There is no Angel and Buffy. There's only
you and me."

"I don't think of you that way!"

"Really? Then your body lies, Willow. I can feel your heart beating, hear blood
pounding in your veins. . ." He kissed her and she felt herself respond. Then
he murmured against her mouth."Say the word. Let me teach you about passion.
Pick up where he left off."

Gods help her. It was so tempting. She shook her head, wanting to stave off the
reckless impulses of her body. "I can't-"

"Yes. You can." Then his a sinful smile spread across his handsome face. "And
you will. Thumb wrestle me."

"What?" Willow blinked.

"Thumb wrestle me. Or don't you think you can beat me?"

"You want to leave this decision up to thumb wrestling?"

"Yes." He pulled her down and set her on her feet. "Come on. Are you afraid?"

"No! I'll beat the pants off you!"

"I'm counting on that." He rose one silky black eyebrow.

"That was a figure of speech!"

"Or a Freudian slip." He countered. " But let's stick to the topic, shall we?
We'll remove our pants later. If I win, you become mine. To teach, of course."

"And if I win, you start courting Buffy again. I'll look for a spell to secure
your soul."

"Courting Buffy?" That damnable voice in his head made a disgusted sound. He
shook his head.

"Is it a deal or not?"

"Alright." He stuck out his thumb and joined it with hers. "I'm going to win
this one."

"I don't know who's more evil, you or Angelus."

"It's a toss-up, little one." He smiled. "Actually, I've been dying to do this.
I always wondered if I would have won against you."

"You won't."

************

He did. "You won. You actually won." She glowered at him. "You must have
cheated! I know you cheated somehow."

"I do not cheat." Angel said, affronted. "I just have a special technique." He
smirked. "And longer thumbs."

"Angelus won because he kissed me, threw me off balance. Why didn't Angelus-"

"Because he doesn't have access to all my memories all the time. This technique
is an obscure memory. Besides, it's not like he thought all that clearly around
you anyway." The trick was getting your opponent on the run. He had ruthlessly
chased down her small thumb and pinned it easily.

"Oh." Willow blushed. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

"No, in case I need to use it again." She stuck her tongue out at him. "I will
teach you how to do something with that appendage though."

She blushed and then fired off. "Aren't you afraid that you'll turn back into
him?"

"No. I have. . . ways around that."

"Oh."

"Don't sound too enthusiastic."

She was enthusiastic. That was the problem. She must be a terrible person,
doing this to Buffy. Doing this to Angelus. "It's just-- I just hate keeping
things from Buffy. And I suck at lying. Really suck."

Angel's smile was wicked, exactly like one of Angelus' trademark grins. It
melted knees and made butterflies stir. But he didn't comment on her 'suck'
comment verbally. "Well, you can't tell her. We aren't involved anymore, but I
don't think she'd want to see me with her best friend. I don't think it would
hurt her exactly, but can you imagine the rant we'd have to listen to?"

"Angel! That's not very nice."

"I know." He retorted.

"I just don't get it. Why are you doing this?"

" I have my reasons." His eyes softened. "I wouldn't do this if I knew you were
unwilling. You want me , Willow. Let me teach you." He moved forward, seeking
out the warmth of her body. "Give me a goodnight kiss."

"G-goodnight? You're leaving?" She tried not to sound so disappointed.

"There isn't time for a lesson tonight." Then his mouth fell over hers, teasing
and tasting her as if for the first time. Then he pulled away to brush a finger
over her mouth. "I don't want to rush this, little one."

"Why are you calling me that?" She asked as he released her.

"Because it suits you." He crossed to the balcony doors and then called over
his shoulder. "Oh, and little one?"

She gritted her teeth."Yes, Angel?"

"Just remember, I've got you under my thumb this time."

~~~11~~~

Willow,

Good Morning, my sweet.

Come to me after you read this.

Wear my gift.

A

Willow folded the note with trembling hands. She peered into the red
gift bag which was lined with black tissue paper. She pulled a cream
satin nightgown and matching robe out. They were delicately made, almost
spider web like. Each was vined around the neck with a green rose
pattern, sporting red roses. They were beautiful.

Willow put her hand in the bag to make sure she hadn�t missed anything
and collided with something sharp. She gasped in pain and then looked
into the bag. A lush red rose lay at the bottom of the bag, it had been
cradled by her nightgown. She plucked it from the bag, noticing the two
crimson droplets that appeared on her fingertips.

Curious, despite herself, she placed her injured fingers in her mouth.
She wanted to know what it tasted like for him. What it would be like
to be a vampire. Not that Angel would ever take her blood. Not like
Angelus had. The way he�d pressed into her, making her gasp. She shook her
head, refusing to dwell on what had been. Then, she drew the flower to
her nose to savor the scent.

She�d woken up this morning to find the bag on the end of her bed.
Angel had been here during the night. She didn�t know what to think
anymore. He was acting more and more like Angelus. It thrilled her more than
it frightened her. She had lost the bet though. Time to face the beast.

**********

Willow wrapped the coat tighter around her body. It was ridiculous, no
one could see under it. But as she passed people in the street she
could almost imagine them knowing where she was going and what she was
about to do. She�d borrowed her father�s black trenchcoat and it went all
the way to her ankles. She�d put on a pair of strappy sandals with the
nightgown and robe. When she�d looked at herself in the mirror, she had
to admit that he�d chosen well. She looked beautiful but she still felt
foolish.

She was missing school to go to him. Willow�s mind swam with all the
ways that this day could end. . .would end. She was able to admit that
she wanted to experience his touch, wanted to know what it would feel
like. She may have known his body but she had never been with Angel
before. She only hoped that she would still have Angel�s friendship when it
was over.

*********

Willow went to back entrance of the mansion, by the garden. She pulled
aside the heavy black velvet drapery and stepped inside the cool,
echoing living room. A fire blazed in the fireplace and several candles were
lit on standing candelabras. A black fur rug lay directly in front of
the sofa which was situated near the fire place.

"You came."

She shrieked at the sound. Then she turned her head to see Angel
standing in the doorway of the room holding a glass of champagne aloft. He
was wearing another pair of those tight midnight dark leather pants and a
silver chain with a Celtic symbol. That was it. No shirt. No shoes.
Just lots of exposed golden skin. Unblemished supple golden skin that made
her fingers itch to touch it. Touch him. Willow�s breath caught.

"Cat got your tongue?" She managed to shake her head �no�. "Good,
because I may have some plans for it." He gave her a sensual smile that made
her knees a little weak. Angel produced the champagne bottle and
another crystal flute from behind his back. He set one glass down on the
coffee table and deftly filled another before setting it down as well.
"Aren�t you going to say anything?"

Like what? Willow thought, a little hysterical. Nothing that she felt
like saying seemed appropriate. Homina. . .homina. . .homina. Or she
could always go with �Wow!� Oh, God, he�s staring at me. He wants me to
say something. "Hi, Angel." She gave a small wave.

He padded over to her until he closed the distance between them. His
cool hand reached out to cup her chin. His voice was low and husky.
"Hello, Willow." She shivered. "I�m glad you came to me."

"What would y-you have d-done if I hadn�t?"

"I would�ve come for you when it got dark." He rubbed his thumb across
her berry tinted lips. "Maybe I would�ve punished you."

"Oh," She took in a shuddering breath. Why do I get the feeling that
the �punishment� would have brought me pleasure?

He ran his hand down the length of her neck then, stopping at the high
collar of her coat. Angel inserted his hand in between the coat and her
skin, coming to rest over her heart. "I can feel your heart beating
fast." He licked his suddenly dry lips. "Do I excite you?" Willow nodded.
He gave her a pleased smile and then withdrew his hand. "Take it off."

"All of it?"

"Just the coat for now." He backed away, so he could see all of her.
Her fingers felt numb as she brought them to the buttons. She worked on
them awkwardly, fumbling with the large buttons. Finally, she undid the
last one. Willow locked eyes with Angel. She couldn�t seem to look
anywhere else. She drew the coat off of her shoulders. It sank heavily to
the ground at her ankles. His eyes turned smoky black as he surveyed her
slight form clothed only in the soft satin. "Come here."

Willow walked until she stood directly in front of him. She could
literally feel the coolness of his body, offset by the feverish glint in his
eyes. He captured the delicate chain she wore around her neck. The
necklace Angelus had given her. "You�re wearing it."

Her hands rose to remove it, she didn�t want to upset him. "I didn�t
even realize�"

"Don�t. I like it. It suits you." Somehow it didn�t bother him that she
wore it. He bent his head then and captured her sweet mouth in a sly
kiss. He couldn�t do rush this, it meant too much. When he pulled away,
her eyes were still closed, her mouth trembling. "Aren�t you going to. .
.?"

"Did you think I would have my way with you as soon as you got in the
door?"

She blushed, she had thought that. "Of course not."

"Hungry?"

"Yes." She murmured, staring at his mouth.

He chuckled. "For food?"

She lowered her eyes and cleared her throat and then threw him an evil
glare. "Yes, I could eat something."

"Glad to hear it. " He handed her a champagne flute and picked up the
bottle and other glass. " Follow me." He turned on his heel and lead her
past an ornate dining room and into the large kitchen in the next room
over. Inside, there was a small oak table and two chairs. A vase full
of roses sat in the center. There were also two place settings out. A
pitcher of orange juice lay on the table. Angel pulled out a chair for
her, solicitous as any gentleman should be. "Have a seat. Breakfast is
served."

Angel scooped up their plates and turned to the stove to fill them with
flavorful food. He�d made sausage and bacon because he wasn�t sure what
she preferred. He�d also made them fluffy croissants and hot coffee.
The piece de resistance was his eggs. Angel whipped up a batch of light
and airy scrambled eggs flavored with some spices. He sat down opposite
her.

She hadn�t realized how hungry she was. But the food smelled wonderful
and if they were eating there couldn�t be talking. "It looks delicious,
Angel." She said enthusiastically as she took a forkful of egg.

Angel smiled wickedly as he looked directly at her, not the food. "I
agree." Before she could reply, he poured some orange juice into their
champagne to make mimosas. He raised his glass and she raised her own.
They clinked glasses and Angel said. "To surprises."

"To surprises."

********

Willow smiled, finishing up the last of her eggs. Breakfast had been a
rather silent affair, except for the body language. Angel almost
seethed with tension. Willow was flustered, making her drop her napkin
several time as well as her fork. Luckily, Angel had a drawer full of them,
which was odd for a vampire. "You know that I�m missing school right
now."

"I know." He tilted his head to the side. "But you�ll be learning
today. I promise you."

She looked down at her plate. His flirting was so hard to deal with.
Yet, Angelus� flirting hadn�t fazed her. "Snyder might give me
detention."

"No, because your father called you off this morning."

"My father�s in Madrid at a conference on�"

"No, �Mr. Rosenberg� called in this morning at 8 A.M. and reported that
you weren�t up to going to school today. In fact, he said that you�d
spend most of today in bed."

She had no idea �Mr. Rosenberg� was so clever. Or devious. " I see.
Well, tell him thank you.

"I�m sure you�ll come up with a way to repay his kindness."

Did all verbal avenues lead to sex? Subject change. Let�s talk about
the weather now or something else mundain. Willow set her napkin down.
"That was a wonderful meal, Angel. Thank you."

"You�re welcome." He poured her another cup of coffee, pushing the
sugar and the cream towards her.

He liked his coffee black. "I try not to drink too much of this. It
makes me jittery." He grinned.

For once today they weren�t discussing sex. "Me too. Buffy always
says�" she broke off. "Sorry."

"Don�t be." He slid his hand over hers. "I keep telling you that
Buffy�s part of my past. We can talk about her, it doesn�t bother me." Though
a discussion about the Slayer wasn�t what he had in mind.

"Okay." This wasn�t the time to argue.

He turned her hand over, exposing her palm. His thumb traced the letter
�A� into it, as if he could emblazon it on her skin by the force of his
will. He wanted everyone to know that she was his. "Maybe I need to
offer you some proof?"

"Oh. No. That won�t be necessary. I believe you. Yep. Whatever you
say." She tried to pull her hand back but he held fast to it. She jerked
her arm again and he released it, afraid she would injure herself. Her
hand bumped into the half-empty mimosa glass, sending it into her lap.

Angel hopped up and pushed her napkin into her hand. She attempted to
soak up some of the liquid but it didn�t seem to be working. "Let me
help you clean that up." After he spoke, she imagined him on his knees
before her, his tongue lapping up the cool drink from her heated skin.
Good Lord, he�s corrupting me. But he retrieved a handful of paper towels
and began mopping up the mess. Willow frowned. I�m not disappointed.
Not at all. They soon had it cleaned up. "I�m sorry." She said, looking
down at the stained gown. "I really liked it."

"I�m sorry I wouldn�t let go." Though that little contest of wills was
fun. He grinned then. "As for the gown. Don�t worry about it." He held
out his hand which she took hesitantly. "Come with me. Let�s get you in
the shower."

She stopped immediately. "I don�t know if I�"

"Not with me." Not yet anyway. Maybe tonight.

She expelled a breath, trying to ignore the flash of frustration she
had. "Oh." She blushed. Again. "Okay."

***********

Willow was luxuriating in Angel�s large claw-footed tub. It felt
decadent. She should be in school but instead she was goofing off. Soaking in
a tub when she should be working algebra equations. She washed her left
arm, enjoying the scented water. Angel had an array of bath salts.
She�d chosen lavender to soothe her nerves. She couldn�t imagine the
vampire using them, but who knew what hidden depths Angel had.

There was a knock on the door. "You alright in there, Willow?"

"I�m fine. I�ll be out in a second."

"Take your time." He offered.

Willow decided to do just that. She let out some of the lukewarm water,
filling it back up with hot water from the tap. Then she added more
lavender bath salt. Then she put a wash cloth over her eyes and leaned
back. She hadn�t felt this relaxed in far too long. How strange that she
would feel that way while lying naked in Angel�s bathtub.

*********

Willow woke up to find herself still in the tub. She�d been lying in
the perfumed water so long that her fingers had gone all pruney. The
water temperature was very cool. She stood up and pulled the plug on the
drain. Then she grabbed a fluffy white towel from the small bench beside
the bathtub. She stepped onto the bath matt and then toweled off her
hair, wrapping it around her still damp hair when she was done. She took
a second towel and began drying her body. When she finished, she draped
the towel around her body.

She walked over to the clothes that Angel laid out for her when he�d
escorted her to the bathroom. She went to the sink and found a silver
tray full of men�s toiletries. There was an old-fashioned razor. An
expensive bottle of shaving cream. Next to it was a black hair brush and comb
set. The last item was Angel�s cologne aptly named �Enigma�. She opened
the bottle and sniffed experimentally. It had a musky, sandalwood
undertone. She recognized the scent from being around him, it seemed to
cling to him. She�d always thought the scent was just him.

"Willow? Are you alright?"

"I�m fine. I just got done."

"Can you open the door? I had your nightgown dry cleaned down the
street."

"That�s fast!"

"It�s a one hour laundry." He didn�t add that they only perform that
service so quickly if they�re slipped a $50 bill.

"Oh. Thanks!" She actually been looking forward to perhaps wearing one
of his shirts or even better -- one of his sweaters. She opened the
door a crack and held out her hand. A large male hand insinuated itself
into the small fissure and pushed, letting himself in. Willow clapped a
hand over the generous amount of cleavage that was displayed by the
towel.

His gaze was curious and frankly carnal. "Thanks." She said, taking the
clothes from him with her other hand.

"You do wonders for that towel."

She let out a nervous giggle. "Yes. Well. Okay. I need to get dressed
now."

He leaned back against the door. "Are you sure that�s what you want?"

She could feel her pulse pick up. She wasn�t sure what she wanted
anymore. "I-I. . ."

"You what? Want to be prim and proper again? Admit it, Willow, you�re
curious. You want me every bit as much as I want you."

Willow felt her throat constrict with emotion. She managed to get out.
"I am curious, but�"

"Shhh." He whispered, putting a finger to his own generous mouth.
"Don�t deny yourself any longer. Don�t deny us. Come here. Let me show you."

She did, pulled in by his charm and wicked promises. He opened his arms
to her and she went into them, loving the blend of soft skin and
rippling muscle underneath her cheek. Angel brushed her hair back from her
forehead and kissed her temple. Then he swung her up in his powerfully
built arms.

**********

He laid her down before the fire on the soft rug. Then he laid down
beside her, propped up on his elbow so he down into her sweet face. "He
made love to you outdoors on the cold hard ground."

"Yes." And it had been glorious.

"This time I want you to be warm. Want you to feel the heat." He traced
the line of her neck with his cool finger.

She gulped. "I think I already do."

Angel smiled softly before he leaned down to feather a kiss across her
lips. "So sweet." Then he traced the seam of her lips with his tongue,
begging entry. She opened them willingly, welcoming his invasion. He
groaned as she granted him access. His tongue sought all the hidden
recesses of her mouth. Willow wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled
him down.

Angel was able to feel her body as he pinned it down with his own. She
was so delicate, he was afraid that he�d crush her. But her arms kept
him there. Willow wanted him to be that close to her. After he�d tasted
her lips, he began to hunger for more.

Angel brought his hands to the tie on her robe and flipped open the
silky panels, leaving her in the thin satin shift. It outlined her body
more than it covered it. His hands sought the downy weight of her breasts
as he reveled in her quiet moans. Angel placed a kiss on each globe
before backing away and kneeling, a leg on either side of her body. He
peeled off the robe and began sliding the nightgown up and past her hips.
He gently lifted her with one arm and pulled it over her head. She now
lay on his rug clothed only in creamy skin flecked with cinnamon
colored freckles. Angel groaned. "I have the memory of how lovely, but . .
.you�re exquisite. I wasn�t prepared. . .you�re a painting come to life."

Willow basked in the glow of his praise. She�d never felt this
desirable or so free in her life. "I want you, Angel." She cupped his face,
tracing the line of his jaw. She couldn�t help herself. She had to say it.
"I-I love you." And Angelus too. I love you both.

"I love you too." Angel bent his head and kissed her hard. Desperate to
convey his emotion. He�d never been able to express himself with words.
So, he would tell her how much he loved her with his body.

He set out to prove his love with his lips and fingers. With his eyes
and his heart. Angel traced an imaginary line from between her breast to
her navel with his tongue, pressing kisses to her newly moistened skin.
He lavished each hip bone with small nips of his white teeth as well as
with his cool mouth. His eager fingers delved between her thighs to
know her most intimate place. Eventually he brought his mouth there as
well to worship her.

All the while, Willow moaned beneath him. She encouraged him by curling
her fingers in his hair, grasping his shoulders, and holding him close
in her gentle arms. When he began to lap at her, she lifted her hips up
to him. Beseeching him for more. Demanding release. A release he was
all to eager to give her. When she couldn�t stand it anymore and sobbed
his name he gave it to her.

Then he rolled himself to the side and shut his eyes. Angel was still
clothed in his suddenly snug black trousers. Quite simply, he was in
agony. Angel could touch her, take her body to new heights but he could
never join her there. He was in love with her. And his love would cost
him his soul.

When she collected herself, Willow cradled him in her arms. "Are you
alright? You didn�t�"

"I told you there were ways around it. I wanted to please you, make it
good for you." He kissed the top of her head.

"You did" She ran her hand down his torso. "If we were careful, it
wouldn�t be a problem. Maybe I can help."

For a moment, he flirted with the idea. The thought of having her hot
little hand wrapped around. . ."Oh, Willow." He shut his eyes as she
cupped him in her hand through his pants.

"Let me give you pleasure too."

His hips began to move in time with her movements. He loved her, needed
this so much. The specter of Angelus loomed in his mind. He saw himself
killing again. Wreaking havoc on Sunnydale and perhaps the world. "No,
I can�t. It�s too dangerous." He stood up abruptly.

Her hands reached for him. "But, Angel, I�"

"NO!" He backed off. Angel�s voice calmed. "I want you so much." He let
his longing for her show in his eyes, the trembling of his body. "But I
can�t , Willow." Looking down at her, he gave her smile. "I love you
and I�m never leaving you. I won�t make the same mistake I did with
Buffy." With that, he left to take a cold shower. A very cold shower.

Willow was left to ponder this as she sat bare and satiated on his rug.
"What am I going to do now?" She asked aloud. Unfortunately, there was
no answer.

~~~12~~~

Why couldn�t they hold Scooby meetings right after school when it was daylight?
No, we want you to go tromping through the neighborhood. In the dark. Alone.
All by yourself. With the demons. Willow grumbled to herself as she traversed
Sunnydale�s park warily. Her eyes darted around, taking note of her
surroundings. There weren�t any other people on the well worn path. She�d been
hoping for safety in numbers. Maybe she shouldn�t have taken this shortcut home
from Giles� apartment. They�d decided to avoid the library tonight because Oz
would be locked in and their presence would only anger him. Actually, it was
bad for both of them, tt would only distract the Scoobies and Oz would probably
end up injuring himself.

She had convinced her friends that she was safe. The vampire population was
quite low since Angelus had taken over. Usually, a master vampire kills off any
minions that are in the area because he or she wants loyal followers. The rest
of the Scoobies had agreed with her decision to walk by herself because they
believed she wouldn�t run in to any trouble. Although, they had asked her to
carry a stake in her back pocket and a bottle of holy water in her jacket just
in case.

Willow froze. She could hear the sound of an animal snuffling in the
undergrowth right off the path. A stray dog? I can only hope. Dammit. She heard
it, she had to look. It was the unwritten rule of Sunnydale. She peered into
the shadows which were alleviated only by the hazy light of the moon. Suddenly,
a creature stood up in the bushes. Its hair was a silvery gray and it was oddly
familiar. It�s mouth had a terrifying array of sharp white teeth and it�s lips
were curled back. The werewolf sniffed the air and howled. Oz! It was Oz! She
recognized his wolf form. No two werewolves looked the same. He must have
escaped from his pen at the library. Cordelia had been watching him. God, what
if he�d killed Cordelia? Wait! What if he kills me?

Willow screamed. Wolf-Oz snarled. She backed away slowly, trying not to let her
fear show. Fear only egged werewolves on. "Easy, Oz. It�s okay." She held up
her hands and made sure her voice was soothing. He proceeded to sniff the air
and began to follow her.

Willow continued to back up, hoping that she could stall for time and come up
with a plan. Where�s a hefty tree branch when you need one? She was so lost in
her own worried inner workings that she stepped on a rock and tripped. Willow
grabbed for something to keep her upright and got a hold of the rose bush. It
sliced into her palm. Wolf-Oz howled at the scent of her blood, hungry for
more. She continued to inch back and bumped into something hard. . . something
that smelled like tobacco and leather. "Seems you�ve got a bit of a problem,
pet."

Spike! Great. She could choose how she died. Death by mauling or death by blood
loss? I truly hate this place. "You could say that."

Wolf-Oz growled at Spike, clearly feeling possessive of Willow. Spike chuckled.
He walked around Willow and faced the ferocious animal. "Come on then. Let�s
have a go, puppy. I�ll teach you some new tricks." He moved into a fighting
stance.

"Don�t hurt him!" Willow cried.

"What?!" Spike said, appalled. His eyes were still fixed on the werewolf. "Just
so you know, pet. He wasn�t planning on only playing a game of fetch with you."

"I know that!" Willow snapped. "But I also know him. His name is Oz, when he
isn�t a wolf. He�s my friend." She was almost tempted to run and let the two of
them sort it out, but she couldn�t leave Oz with Spike even if that meant she
was leaving herself in a dangerous position.

Spike rolled his eyes. She wanted to protect a werewolf. Probably one of those
tree-huggin� granola types. "Next thing you know, you�ll be buying him a bone,
letting him sleep on the end of the bed�"

He didn�t have a chance to finish the conversation. Wolf-Oz attacked. Spike was
caught off guard when the creature scraped his cheek with its talon-like nails.
It left five bloody gashes on his handsome face. "Bad dog!" Spike yelled,
clocking the huge beast in the face with his fist. Wolf-Oz howled. The vampire
punched him again and knocked him to the ground. Then he kicked him in the
stomach and banged his massive furry head against the ground. Wolf-Oz passed
out with a whimper.

Willow ran over to her friend, checking for his pulse. She was relieved to find
one. His breathing seemed to be normal, he was just unconscious. She glared up
at Spike. She was sick of arrogant male vampires. "You could have killed him!"

"And your point is. . .?"

She stood up to her full height, pressing a slim white finger to Spike�s chest
and poking him every once in a while as she spoke to emphasize her points. "I
didn�t ask for your help! Who the hell do you think you are? I can do things
myself, you know! I�m the best friend of a Slayer! And I�m a witch! " Well,
sort of. . part of the way there anyway. Then she realized that she was poking
a master vampire in the middle of nowhere on the Hellmouth. She stopped
touching Spike and stepped back. She gulped and her face turned a ghastly
white. "I have to go now." While I still have all my pieces and parts. She
turned on her heel and was about to walk away when he grasped her elbow. Knew
he wouldn�t fall for that.

"Hold on there, pet." He spun her around, he was feeling a little thirsty. She
was a tasty morsel.

"I thought you left Sunnydale, Spike."

She knew his name. Didn�t she say something about being a Slayer�s best friend?
"Nah, knew it would piss Angel off if I stayed. I never get tired of that.
Besides, Dru likes the energy here. Says it makes her visions �all swirly�,
whatever the hell that means." He took a good look at her for the first time.
Familiar face. He could place her now. Humans sometimes looked all the same to
him."You�re Willow, right?"

"Um. . .yeah." How did he know her name? She looked at him in askance.

"Angelus told me about you." He looked her over, considering. A slow smile
broke over his face.

"He did?!" Her face flushed with embarrassment.

"Yes." Spike tilted his head to the side. "By the way, I never did thank you
for making him all poofy and soul-having again."

Whew! He was grateful too. She might be going home with all of her blood. "Does
this mean you�re not going to bite me?" Willow asked, rubbing her neck absently.

He looked her up and down. "I am hungry and you look very tasty." Willow
silently cursed herself for bringing it to his attention. He took a hold of her
palm which was streaked with crimson and held it to his mouth, inhaling the
spicy scent of her magick infused blood. "No bloody wonder Angelus was
fascinated with you." His chilly tongue swept out to lap the blood from her
hand, taking care not to hurt her wounds. It was slightly raspy, like a that of
a cat. After he licked away the last droplet he pressed a kiss to her palm.
"Thanks for the snack, pet."

She sagged in relief. "Oh. You�re welcome. " She smiled, then frowned. Was it
�okay� to thank a vampire for taking her blood? Buffy wouldn�t think so. She
shrugged. "So. . .um,Angelus talked about me?" He found her fascinating? He
nodded. "What did he say?" He merely rose one black eyebrow. "Okay. You don�t
have to talk about it if you don�t want to." She glanced down at Oz. "I�d
better get him back to the library anyway."

Spike knelt beside the fallen werewolf and thrust it over his shoulder. There
was no way she could carry him for that distance. "Lead the way, pet."

"You�re going to help me?"

"Why not? Dru�s having a tea party for her bleedin� dolls, nothin�s good on the
telly. Might as well."

"Well, thank you." She walked beside him as he carried Oz back to Sunnydale
High.

*********

"Cordelia? Are you here?" Willow called out as she entered the library. Willow
began to see red. The brunette was nowhere to be seen. If Oz had almost gotten
hurt because she skipped out to party with the twits she called friends, she
was going to . . .going to . . .she didn�t know what. But if she was fooling
around with Xander when she was supposed to be watching Oz, then she would sic
Spike on them both.

All of a sudden, the door to Giles� office sprang open. Cordelia emerged, a
threatening scowl on her face. Her hair was messed up, her dress was ripped,
her makeup smudged, and one of her heels was missing. And she was holding the
tranquilizer gun. "Get the hell away fro--- Willow?"

"Cordelia? What happened?" Willow blushed. Stupid question. "Are you alright?"

"Do I look alright? Omigod! Willow, duck!" The tranquilizer dart flew through
the air before Willow could figure out what was about to happen.

"Ow! Bloody hell! She sh-" Spike slumped to the floor, Oz rolling out of his
grip.

Willow stood in shock staring at the cheerleader. "I didn�t know you had such
good aim." She looked to the two slumbering males on the floor. What now? Too
many guys, not enough cages.

********

Angelus hopped up onto the balcony outside of the room of his favorite redhead.
He peered into the darkness. No one was home. How�s that for a twist? She was
always home. Angelus shook his head. He wasn�t clear on how he had regained
control. To be truthful, he could barely remember how he had gotten over here.
He could feel the soul in there somewhere. It just didn�t seem to have any
influence over his actions. He gazed up at the moon, it seemed to have a
strange pull on him. What was going on?

There was a slight noise coming from inside. Angelus listened carefully.
Someone was coming down the hall! The wicked vampire grinned as he smelled the
faint hint of roses, sage, and magic. Willow. There was another scent too. But
who was with her? The scent of bleach filled the air. Buffy? Back up, when did
Buffy start smoking? His eyes narrowed as he watched his blonde childe follow
Willow into her room. What the hell was Spike doing here?

Angelus stepped back from the French doors before they spotted him. He learned
a long time ago that patience brought it�s own rewards. Leaning against the
wall, he settled back to listen in. Somebody was going to have a lot of
explaining to do.

*******

"The bleedin� chit didn�t have to shoot me! I was helping." Spike looked
disgusted. With himself or with Cordelia she wasn�t quite clear on.

"Yes. But, for one, that�s a first. You�re usually trying to kill us, not help
us. For two, she was just attacked by a werewolf. It would make anyone jumpy."
Willow pointed out. "Also, not the sharpest tool in the shed."

Spike chuckled. "You�re not as quiet as you pretend to be, are you?"

Willow put a finger to her lips. "Shh! It�ll be our secret." He gave her a
rakish grin. She probably needed to have her head examined. She couldn�t
believe that she had just invited him into her house. Somehow she knew that he
wouldn�t harm her. He�d had plenty of opportunity but he hadn�t acted on it.
Besides, she�d invited his sire in already. . .the more, the merrier. Willow
knew that Cordelia wouldn�t keep quiet about Spike. She should probably start
working on reasons why she�d been with him. The truth would be unpalatable to
the other Scoobies. She needed a hellmouthy excuse. Possession? Coercion?
Mysterious memory loss? She�d think of something.

"Excuse me, luv? Am I boring you?"

"What?" Willow blinked. "I mean, no. I mean. . .I�m sorry. I have a lot on my
mind. What were you saying?"

"Nothing important." She was a bewitching creature. No wonder Angelus was so
taken with her. It was a shame that he hadn�t gotten to her first. Spike had
been searching for the right human to sire for decades. He wanted a real
prodigy for his childe and she fit the bill. But Spike had learned long ago
that he never wanted to be involved with another woman who�d been with Angelus
first. They never appreciated him. It was a pity, really. "I should probably go
anyway. I have to get some dinner."

"Oh?" She said politely, then it struck her that he meant �somebody.� "Oh."

"Don�t look so glum. I�ll make it quick for the poor sod."

"Right." She gulped. He was going off to kill someone.

"Actually. . .I don�t have to go yet." Spike�s gaze strayed to her throat. He
got closer to her, invading her space. He�d never been able to get his hands on
a woman that still belonged to Angelus. Drusilla had come to him only after
she�d fallen out of favor with �Daddy�. He wouldn�t hurt her. Maybe he�d play
with her a bit , it might be fun to . . .

"I don�t think you have to go either." Spike looked up only to see Angelus�
fist connect with his face. The blond vampire fell to the floor and gazed up at
him in equal parts dazed disbelief and horror.

"Angel, what are you�" Willow stared hard at him. He wasn�t the same. �Angel�
now walked with that familiar cocky swagger. His eyes roved over her form in a
blatantly possessive manner. He�d been acting strange lately but not like this.
. .it could only mean one thing. "Angelus?" She asked, her voice squeaking. She
was thrilled and terrified at the same time. He must be really angry. Really,
really, really angry. Wait a minute! How did this happen? "But. . .but. . .I--"

"You what? Cursed me with my soul again?" Angelus sat down on her bed and
schooled his features into Angel�s trademark tortured expression. "You have no
idea how that made me feel." Then he laughed and it wasn�t completely in
amusement. Meanwhile, Spike had gotten to his feet and had quietly inched his
way to the door. "Sit down, my boy, I�m not done �talking� to you yet." Spike
cursed under his breath but dutifully sat down on the chair by her desk. At
least his sire was far more interested in the He lit a cigarette and watched
how this scenario would play out.

Willow still couldn�t wrap her mind around what happened. She�d given him the
soul permanently. He couldn�t have come back without some sort of a catalyst.
Angel slept with Buffy! It was the only conclusion she could come to. She was
about ready to pass out. He looked distinctly unhappy with her. "W-what are you
going to do with me?"

"Whatever I please." Angelus smiled, showing a row of gleaming, white teeth.