aar2

All Angel Review (2/?)
Author for this part- Ange
Author Email- [email protected]
Disclaimer: The usual. Do not own, Do not sue
Summary: Let me steal Chrissy�s and add a little to it� ummm Cordy pulls a
fast one with the help of a few friends.
Pairings: W/A
Spoilers: None really, AU
Rating: This part PG
Feedback- Please, this is my first Buffy Fandom fic, and I�d love to hear
back from you! Just be gentle!

Authors Notes- Like I said, this is my first Buffy fic that anyone outside
of me will read. Hope you like it! I�m working on my webpage, which you
can find at "http://www.envy.nu/dreamcouples/" The fic will be up there in
the next day or so. You�ll also be able to find this and all other
chapters at Chrissy�s Site
"http://www.geocities.com/rrfc1/demondreaming.html" and on her list
"http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Demon_Dreaming." On that note, let me thank
Chrissy for letting me join in the fun, and to let me try and break the ice
into Buffy fanfic!

~*~*~* Chapter 2 *~*~*~

Angel looked at Cordelia as if she had lost her mind and just spoken to him
in Latin. �A G-String? Why would I need one?� he asked his best friend,
unsure yet if she was serious or not.

�Duh! Aren�t you listening to me?� Cordelia asked, knowing that an award
worthy performance was going to be required for the plan to go any
further. �No men allowed in the bar, unless they�re working. Do I need to
spell this out for you?� Pausing a moment to let her eyes wander over
Angel for effect, she continued on. �You�ve been around a long time you
should already know this. I get that they probably didn�t even have strip
clubs in your day and if they did it meant maybe seeing a petticoat and
maybe a little ankle, but girls now a day want to see skin and lots of
it. I suppose you could offer to go G-Stringless, but I�m pretty sure
that�s not even legal. And can you say Ewww? I�m already going to need
years of therapy after this, without the added trauma of seeing you naked.�

�You don�t think I�d look good wearing nothing but a G-String?� Not that
it should matter what Cordy thought, but it hurt none the less. He�d
supported her during the worst of her fashion blunders and she couldn�t
have a little sympathy for him?

�I don�t know,� Cordelia replied, giving him another critical once
over. �You�ve got a little blood belly going on, we�re going to have to
cut back on the O pos and go for the less appealing but lower in fat plasma
if you don�t watch it.� She added with a gentle pat to his still flat
stomach. Angel might be male, but she knew that he could be as vain about
his looks as any woman. And with this knowledge she had him eating out of
the palm of her hand. �Maybe we should go with something not so �here I am
in all my glory�, you�re more of a �I�m here, but don�t look at me� kind of
guy. How about the Hugh Heffner look? You�d look ok in silk boxers and a
matching robe. That way no one notices your tummy and not so tone backside.�

�Not tone? I�m way tone!� Angel protested. He might not be able to see
himself in the mirror, but he knew for a fact that he didn�t have a blood
belly or a flabby butt. He wouldn�t get the reactions he did from some of
their female clients if he did. �I�d look great in a G-String, no matter
what you think.�

�Glad you think so, you�re going to get your chance to prove it. Willow�s
future happiness is going to depend on your performance.� Giving Angel no
time to back out or have second thoughts, Cordy rushed on making
plans. �You can�t dance, so we�re going to have to depend on your body as
it is to get you in the door. We�ll try and find an appropriate song for
you on the drive over to the bar, and we�ll have to stop at a lingerie shop
and pick something out for you to wear. What ever it is, no black, I�m
thinking maybe red or blue, although you�d look great in gold lame, or
maybe silver sequins.�

Angel blanched at her words. There was no way he was wearing sequined
anything. �Couldn�t I just break down the door and grab Willow? That�s
more my style.� He couldn�t even make himself say gold lame, not without
shuddering.

�Not a chance, I don�t like this any more then you do Angel, but you�re
going to have to dance. This is to save Willow, not for anyone�s personal
enjoyment.� At least not immediately, the enjoyment came after Angel and
Willow were back at the hotel, and Lorne got her the video that was going
to be made of this performance. Once Gunn, Wes and Fred got a load of what
she�d done, that�s when the enjoyment factor came into play. She might
even make a few bucks off of the deal in the end, if she played her cards
right.

Angel didn�t like his seer�s tone of voice. She�d switched gears way to
quick for this not to have been a set up. He went to say something, but
Cordelia cut him off. �For Willow�s future happiness. No if�s, ands or
buts� unless it�s yours in an itty bitty g-string. Go get your wallet and
let�s go. We have to get your costume, pick out a song and get body
glitter. Lots of body glitter.�

~*~*~*~

�I said I�m sorry, I won�t say it again. It was an accident.� Anya told
her friend as she gently slid the car into the only open spot at the rest
area. �It�s just lucky that you haven�t opened my last present. Not only
do you get to be surprised, but I�ll know you actually wore what I bought
for you.�

Willow was blotting the iced macchiato that had been spilled down the front
of her sweater during Anya�s little bout of road rage. �An accident is
when something that can�t be prevented happens. If you hadn�t chased after
that Jeep who cut us off, this might have been considered just an
accident.� She threw down the napkin that was doing absolutely no good, in
disgust. �I�m sending you the cleaning bill, assuming that the stain will
even come out. This was my favorite sweater.�

�It�s purple and fuzzy and does nothing for you. You�ll look much better
in what I bought you.� Anya dismissed everything Willow had said with a
wave of her hand. �That man shouldn�t have cut me off to begin with. He
obviously didn�t know who he was messing with. But I can guarantee he
won�t ever cut another person off again. I scared him so badly, that I
almost felt bad for him when we passed him after he pulled off to the side
of the highway. Almost, but he still deserved it.�

That part had been rather amusing, and if she hadn�t of been soaked to the
skin she would have laughed. But the icy mess had immediately put her in a
bad mood, or a worse mood if she were being honest with herself. If anyone
had asked, she never would have said that her ideal birthday would be spent
going out with Anya for a rehearsal bachlorette party. But no one had
asked, and as Xander�s best person and the stand in Maid of honor since
Dawn was still a minor and according to Anya unable to plan a proper
bachlorette party, she had to go. If there had been a graceful way to get
out of going out to clubbing with the bride-to-be, she hadn�t been able to
think of it. �But what did my sweater ever do to you to deserve such
treatment.�

�It was purple and fuzzy. Which would be fine for slippers. But as far as
sweaters go, it wasn�t your best choice.� Anya reached into the back seat
grabbing the medium sized wrapped box, and placed it on Willow�s lap. �Go
put this on. You�ll be happier and dryer and it�s much better suited for
where we are going. Xander helped pick it out, so you should like it.�

Willow rolled her eyes, knowing that her taste in clothes and Xander's were
totally different. �I�m sure it�ll be perfect, what ever you two picked.�

�Of course, would I ever lead you astray?� the former demon asked, shooing
the redheaded witch out of the car. �I�m going to call and make sure that
everything is ok with Dawn and Xander. I honestly don�t know which one is
the child between the two of them. I don�t like leaving them without
supervision. I thought about asking Spike to watch them, but that only
makes things worse.�

�Tell them I said hi, and that I wish I had agreed to get Dawn that fake ID
so she could go with you instead of me. She would have found all of this
quite amusing, in a �nothing fazes me I�m a teenager� way.� Willow
grumbled taking her present and holding it over her thoroughly iced
chest. �I guess it could be worse, I could be home having a private
birthday pity party. What ever Anya has planned can�t be any worse then that.�

~*~*~*~

Anya waited until she was sure Willow was out of earshot before dialing her
contact in LA. No need to give away the game yet, not when they were so
close to giving the girl the best birthday present anyone could think
of. That is if you went for Tall, built and broody.

�Hello Doll, I�ve been waiting for your call. Everything going as planned
on your end?� Lorne asked, unconcerned. If anyone could pull this off it
was Anyanka.

�We�re over halfway to LA, Willow�s changing into her birthday present and
we�ll be on the road again soon. You�ve taken care of everything on your
end right? I�d have to call in a favor with D�Hoffryn because you screwed
this up.� Not that she would really do that, Anya honestly liked the demon
she�d met during her vengeance days. �And Cordelia is clear on the not
being able to have my Xander right? I only agreed to help out if she knew
that she couldn�t have him anymore.�

�I don�t think you have anything to worry about there, Princess learned her
lesson when it comes to the goofball. She�s moved on, and you should thank
her. If she hadn�t of gone and made that wish, you wouldn�t know your
hunka hunka cuddly love.� Though he�d never met the infamous Xander
Harris, from what he�d heard, the man had to be a saint to have put up with
first Cordelia and then Anya the new human. �You can keep your man, Cordy
gets to play matchmaker and me, I get to sit back and watch while our boy
broodsome squirms. It was bad listening to him sing, but watching him try
and dance? I can�t think of anything more entertaining to do on a Friday
night.�

�Then we need to find you a girl of your own when this is all done, amateur
yenta is not an acceptable profession for Krevlornswoth of the Deathwok
Clan. Not nearly enough killing to make your mother proud. You�ve been
alone too long.�

�Nothing short of me being dismembered by my relatives circled around and
changed would make my mother proud, so I�m not too worried about what she
thinks.� Lorne said with a small smile, having come to terms with his
family on their impromptu journey to Pylea to fetch the princess. �And
lets just say I�ve got my eye on someone, just have to convince her that
she wants to give me a chance. She�s not really the type that would
normally fall for green and scaly, no matter how good I look.�

�Tell me who she is, if she scorns you or even if she doesn�t give you a
chance to make your case, I�ll call in a few favors. I might not have my
powers anymore, but I met a lot of people over the years who owe me.� Anya
looked up and saw Willow stalking back over to the car, and if the look on
her face was any indication, she wasn�t pleased. �Keep that in mind Lorne,
I�ve got to go. There is one ticked off witch heading my way. The way
she�s looking at me, I think that I may be on my way who is probably trying
to convince herself that she doesn�t want to turn me into a rat.�

�Good luck doll, and stop by Caritas before you head out of town if you
have a few minutes. It�s been too long since I�ve seen you.� Lorne would
have to do some tap dancing to keep Anya from calling in any favors on his
behalf to get Cordelia to see him as less of a demon and as a man who cared
for her. But there was no way he was turning the former queen of vengeance
back on his favorite princess.

�I�ll try, promise.� Anya said as Lorne hung up the phone, and added for
Willow�s benefit as she walked up to the car, �And no more tying Xander up
Dawn. I don�t care if you are playing cowboys and Indians, I reserve all
rights to tie my fianc� up and tell other women that they can�t.� Anya
snapped her cell phone shut and smiled at Willow. �I knew you�d look great
in that outfit. The first one that Xander said I couldn�t buy for you was
right on the mark. You�re going to knock them dead tonight.�

Willow was livid. She should have known that she couldn�t trust Anya and
Xander to pick out clothes for her, but unless she wanted to zap herself a
new outfit and offend her moody friend, she was stuck. �It�s good to know
Xander didn�t have anything to do with this. That�s one less person I have
to kill. This is so not anything I�d wear Anya. What made you do
this?� She ran her hand gingerly over the black leather mini, trying to
pull it down closer to her knees in hope of covering more of the fishnet
stockings she was wearing. There was no hope for the black leather
bustier, not unless Anya had some sort of cover up. Which scared Willow
even more, positive she couldn�t trust Anya to pick out something tasteful,
if this getup was any indication. �I want to go home now, I�m not going
out looking like this. I promised no magic tonight, but I didn�t promise
to go out looking like a skanky ho. And the only way I�m going to knock
anyone dead is if you�re planning on having your party in a biker bar.�

�Now that�s a thought, but I think our guests would prefer strippers to
biker men.� Anya said thoughtfully. �Just get in the car, you do look
great. It�s a new look, and if you don�t want to not end up an old maid,
you�ve got to flaunt what you�ve got. You�ve been single too long, and
you�re my new project.�

�This isn�t a new look.� The redhead said, getting into the car. There
was no arguing with Anya once she had her mind made up. Wherever they were
going, it was going to be with Willow in Leather and fishnet. �This is
Vamp Willow making a fashion comeback, without asking my permission.�

�It�s about time if you ask me. No more fuzzy sweaters and pink kittens
for you. There�s a woman under all that fluff and we�re going to bring her
out.� Anya said, pleased that even though she didn�t want to Willow was in
the car and ready to leave. She may not like it, but at least some part of
the girl knew that this was for her own good.

�Does Xander know that you�re as evil now as you were when you were
actively pursuing a career in vengeance? I�m not sure I�m comfortable with
my best friend getting married to someone with such nasty tendencies.�

�He knows, but he forgets after lots of orgasms.� Willow cringed but Anya
smiled knowingly. �That�s a lesson you might want to remember. Lots of
orgasms can make everything better. Maybe you�ll find that out first hand.�