Chris had been quiet and withdrawn for a couple of weeks before he called them all together for a group meeting. It was one of their days off from touring in support of the new album and they dragged themselves into the common room after getting the early morning call from their band mate. Luckily for all of them, Chris was aware that if he wanted to discuss anything with them and have them remember it, he had to provide them with food and coffee first. The large amounts and varieties of food and drink were their first warning that whatever Chris had to say could have a large impact on all of them. He�d only go to that much effort if he were trying to silently apologize in advance for something.
While the four younger men were eating, Chris took the time to look over each of them. Justin and Joey were both absorbed in eating their fill and didn�t even realize Chris was watching them. Lance met Chris�s glance for a moment, smiling in support before Chris�s attention turned to JC who was already looking at Chris. Like Lance, JC�s gaze held support for Chris and worry about what had the other man so withdrawn.
JC wheeled the cart out of the room once they�d all gotten their fill of the food and coffee. He grabbed an apple from the basket on the table before joining the others. He wasn�t still hungry, but JC needed something to do with his hands to combat his nerves over what was to come. Just looking at Chris he knew this wasn�t going to be an easy conversation, whatever the problem was. The circles, which had steadily grown around the older man�s eyes, were the only real color in his face as Chris stared at his hands and fought for the right words.
Even after going through all of it in his head throughout most of the night, Chris still wasn�t sure how to say what was needed. Seeing the older man�s struggle, JC broke into Chris�s contemplation when he moved from the side chair to curl his lanky body around Chris. "Just talk to us. It doesn�t matter if it makes sense right now; we�ll sort it all out together. It�s what we do, but we can�t help until you start talking." JC spoke quietly, but loud enough for the others to hear and nod in agreement.
Out of all of them, Chris was most worried about JC's reaction to what he had to tell them. After this was through it was possible JC would never look at him the same. It was hard enough to know JC would never return his feelings, but to think he might be disappointed or angry made this all even more difficult. That it was JC now trying to comfort him through this seemed like the cruelest of ironies to Chris.
Deciding to try JC�s suggestion since his own way wasn�t working, Chris spoke hesitantly. "When we were in LA at the beginning of the tour I flirted with the night clerk at the hotel. She had a couple of Psyche books open the first night when I couldn�t sleep and we started talking. By the time we finished up with all the interviews and the shows that week, I�d spent four or five nights talking to her when she wasn�t busy. It was cool having a conversation with someone who was taking the path I might have if I wouldn�t have done the music thing. Our last night there was her day off and we met for what was going to be a good-bye drink after the show. Anyway, we ended up in bed and now she�s pregnant." The last was spoken very quickly as if it would have lesser impact if said rapidly.
No one spoke for a minute, a strange sense of deja vu flowing over all of them as they recalled a similar announcement from Joey five years earlier. It was Joey, knowing how difficult this moment had to be for Chris, who made the first move once the initial shock wore off.
"What are you and this woman planning on doing?" Joey asked from the chair beside Chris. "You�ve got to know I�ll support whatever you decide to do about this. Just let me know what you need."
"We all will CK." Justin said from the floor. "What you need comes before all the rest of the shit." Lance was quiet, but nodded in agreement.
JC wrapped his arms tighter around Chris as if he could hold off all the bad stuff. Although he�d heard Chris�s announcement and was aware how it had the potential to change everything, he was more concerned Chris didn�t use this as an excuse to push them all away. No matter what Chris decided to do about the pregnancy, JC wanted the older man to know he was behind him all the way even if JC couldn�t find the words to say it right away.
Their reaction was enough to calm Chris�s anxiety sufficiently to have the conversation he knew would follow his announcement. Once the others started to think of all the consequences, there would be questions to answer and decisions to be made regarding the group and publicity.
"Thanks guys. It means a lot; you�ve got to know it does." Chris spoke quietly.
"I hate to be the one who brings it up, but are you sure it�s yours?" Lance asked, breaking his silence and facing the issue logically in an attempt to temporarily deal with the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.
Chris smiled a little sadly. "Truthfully? No, I�m not." The slight gasps from the others would�ve normally amused him but now they just rolled off in lieu of more important things. "She�s slept with two other guys besides me; she�s been really up front with me about it. The thing is, none of them can afford to deal with a baby right now so the others aren�t a factor."
"Your possibly not being the father doesn�t seem important to you?" Joey asked hesitantly. "Are you planning on waiting for a paternity test then?"
"No. I�m not waiting for testing." Chris stated, staring at his hands knowing he couldn�t explain his plans while looking at his four closest friends. "She came to me and was really up front about what she feels she can do. She can�t get rid of it and face herself, but she also knows she can�t keep take care of a baby right now. The guys, the other possible fathers, are in the same position. They�re all in school and determined to make something of themselves. To take care of a newborn, one of them would have to drop out or postpone their education and none of them are willing. She offered me the chance of full custody with her signing away all parental responsibility. If I don�t want the baby she�s giving it up for adoption."
"You�re keeping the baby right?" JC asked, already knowing the answer but knowing Chris needed to say it out loud.
"Yeah, I�m keeping the baby." Chris nodded. "All I�ve done is think about all of the ramifications since she told me, but I keep coming back to the idea that I can�t let a child who could be mine go to someone else."
"There�s a good chance it�s not yours though Chris." Joey told him softly, not wanting to hurt Chris but feeling like the point needed to be made. "What are you going to do if you go through all of this and then the baby isn�t yours? What are you going to do when a couple of years down the road the baby�s real father wants custody? Or his mother has her career and now wants the child she gave up?"
"Believe me Joe, I�ve thought about it. I�ve thought about it from every angle and my thoughts are still the same. I realize the odds of the baby being mine are low, but I talked to my lawyer and I talked to this girl and everyone involved thinks I can cover all the bases if this is done right. I�ll be put on the birth certificate as the father and she�ll sign away all rights and she�s having the others sign the same papers giving up their rights just in case the tests come back saying I�m not the father." Chris said, finally looking up at the others.
"I know this is bad timing and just not a good situation all around for the group." Chris admitted. "It�s not like when Kelly got pregnant because this isn�t a girlfriend who�s been in the picture for years. This was basically a pick-up. I also know I�m going to be doing this, taking on a lot of responsibility, something I can�t just toss aside when it�s not convenient to deal with. The thing is, I also know if I don�t do this, I�m going to regret it for the rest of my life. And I know it doesn�t just involve me, it influences the group. I�m sorry but in this case I�ve got to do what feels right for me."
"We�re not telling you not to do it, Chris." JC said tenderly. "The four of us aren�t as worried about NSYNC and what the fans will think as we are about you and what you need. If this is what you need to do, then we�re going to do everything we can to help out. Just tell us what you need."
Chris took a deep breath; glad he wasn�t going to be facing all of this completely alone. "There�s not a lot to do for a while. Like I said, my lawyer is drawing up the paperwork for them all to sign and we�ve already come to an agreement about me supporting her while she goes through the pregnancy so she doesn�t have to deal with work and school and the baby all at once. She�s only got four weeks left in the semester and then she�s taking off the summer and next semester to have the baby. She�s given two weeks notice at the hotel. She�s got a good doctor and she�s healthy. At this point it�s mainly just a waiting game. If all goes well she�ll be back in school by the first of the year and I�ll be a dad. I�ll probably go shopping for baby stuff once the tour ends and you could all help if you want but that�s it for now."
"Have you told your mom and Johnny?" Justin asked, thinking he could help tell them if needed.
"My mom knows. I talked to her last night once I made the final decision of what I was doing." Chris said with a wry smile. "She wasn�t too surprised I might have gotten someone pregnant, which I guess I should be insulted by. She�s not thrilled about it being with someone I barely knew, but I think she�s already starting to warm up regarding the whole thing. She�ll have another grandchild, which she isn�t going to complain about and it�s not like I�m going to have to struggle to support a baby."
"What about taking care of a baby with our schedules?" Lance asked, already making lists in his head about what needed to be done. "Have you given thought to how you�re going to do that?"
"Yep. I�m planning on hiring a full-time nanny who can travel with us. Whenever I can, I�m planning on taking care of the baby myself, but if I can�t I don�t want to have to pass around the responsibility. The way I�m figuring it, we�ll be done with touring when the baby is born. We still haven�t decided if we�re going into the studio for another album or taking a break for solo work again. If we decide to do another album right now I�ll just get my own bus for when we tour. I can have it all set up for a baby. With a nanny and a special bus and hopefully some understanding from all of you about having spit up on my clothes, we should be okay."
"You�ve really thought about all of this, haven�t you?" Joey asked. "I guess I shouldn�t be surprised, if anything you�re the most qualified out of all of us to be a parent. It�s not like you didn�t help raise your sisters anyway."
"I have thought about it all. This is certainly not a decision I made lightly." Chris nodded. "From the moment I heard she was pregnant I started to think about what would be the right thing to do and something I could live with. Once I�d made the decision I started looking into what needed to be done to make this as easy as possible. Luckily, the four of you were supportive today so this part was easier then expected."
"Of course we�re supportive. We�ll help you any way we can; we love you and want you to know you�re not doing it alone." JC hugged him even tighter, temporarily blocking Chris�s air but he wasn�t going to complain about an embrace they both clearly needed.
"So we need to let Johnny in on what�s going on and figure out what we�re going to say to the press, and when." Lance said, grabbing some stationary provided by the hotel and a pen to start making a physical list of things to do. "We�ll need to get a bus ordered soon so it can be made to fit your requirements and you also need to figure out what you want to do about a nursery in your own house. Shopping for all the things a baby needs. You�ll also need to start looking for a nanny fairly soon because it might take awhile to find someone who is willing to travel around and work odd hours."
"Well at least Lance has got our lives planned out for the next couple of months." Justin teased with a smile hoping it would make Chris smile. Either Chris knew what Justin wanted and was humoring him or the relief from not being attacked had set in because Chris allowed a smile to form as he looked at his chosen family.
"I�m pretty sure my decision made it so my life is planned for the next nineteen years or so." Chris remarked. "Guys, I know this is a huge decision I�ve made and expected you to accept. I really do think this is the right thing for me and I appreciate all the support you�re giving me."
"Well, it�s going to be our niece or nephew. We need to make sure everything is as perfect as possible for them," Lance replied, letting all the should-be-done and need-to-be-done things go for the first time and letting himself feel.
"Which of course means not letting JC go shopping for clothes for the baby." Justin quipped causing JC to stick his tongue out in response.
"I think we should call Johnny and figure out what we�re saying and when. That way we can get to the fun stuff sooner." JC changed the subject from his style sense or lack thereof.
"Yeah, I can�t put it off forever." Chris agreed. "Better to get it all over with quickly."
After deciding to put the call on speakerphone so all of them could participate, the call was made. Unfortunately, without a phone to grip Chris was left to pace the floor while they waited for Johnny�s secretary to put the call through. Telling his mom had been hard, but he�d known the thought of another grandchild would save him from the majority of her anger. The guys were difficult, but he knew their close bonds would keep the confrontation from getting bad. Before telling both his mother and the guys, he had worried more about whether they would be disappointed in him. While Johnny wasn�t an ogre, Chris was worried that he would be angrier, and begin to follow everything he did. Johnny didn�t want anything to come between the band and their success.
"Hey guys." Johnny�s voice boomed through the room. "To what do I owe the honor of a call from you on your day off?"
"Johnny, we�ve got something going on here you need to know about." Lance answered, glancing at Chris to see if he was ready to talk to their manager. Chris really wasn�t, but he stopped his pacing and moved to sit close to the speakerphone.
"More like I�ve got something and the guys are backing me up." Chris said resigned to explaining everything again. "I�m just going to skip to the good parts though to save you some time. I met a girl in LA when we were there for the week. She�s now pregnant and I�m going to take the baby although I�m not completely sure it�s mine. Right now I�m going to help support her while she�s going through this and I�ll give her enough to get her back on her feet after the baby is born. I�ve got my lawyer working on papers for her and the other possible fathers to release all parental rights to me. I guess that�s pretty much the cliff notes version."
For a couple of minutes there was nothing on the other side of the line except breathing as Johnny attempted to work his mind around what was going on. The silence increased Chris�s nervousness, but he knew Johnny would consider all sides he could before speaking. Knowing what Johnny was doing, however, didn�t make it any easier and he was quickly back on his feet in apprehension. This time, JC was there to wrap him in a bear hug. No words were spoken between the two, but the simple contact was enough to calm some of the worry.
"The mother isn�t going to be involved at all after the child is born?" Johnny�s voice eventually asked. Chris answered �no� quietly from JC�s arms and Johnny continued. "So we�ll need to keep her out of the way then, probably hold off on going public until after the baby is born. It�ll mean you have to watch what you say, but it would be the best thing to protect her identity from leaking. Then once she has the baby we go public with a press release about you being a father. We downplay the mother, say it was a mutual decision for you to take full custody and we won�t be disclosing the mother�s name. We�ll probably need legal to look into ways we can keep the birth certificate private or if the mother can use an alias so her identity isn�t leaked." As Johnny covered how to deal with Chris�s fear of the mother�s identity getting out, Chris relaxed some in JC�s arms. For the first time since it all began, Chris was starting to believe this was actually going to work.
"I take it you�re going to work on getting a nanny or something to help out?" Johnny asked, moving on to the next problem to be dealt with. "None of you said anything about taking another hiatus or was that just assumed?"
"We might take a little bit of time off, a month or two, but that�s it as far as we�re expecting." Justin spoke up to answer Johnny�s questions. "It might be good if we�re in the recording studio around the time she�s due. It�d give us all a reason to be in LA during the time the baby�s due without anyone questioning what�s going on."
"Very good idea." Johnny agreed. "Chris, do you know a due date yet?"
"Yeah, the doctor said February 18th," Chris answered, smiling slightly at JC�s little sound of glee. It appeared that the excitement of having another baby in their midst was already spreading. Chris wasn�t a bit surprised considering how they all vied for Bri�s attention whenever she was around.
"The tour is ending late October, then some time to get some new material written and the holidays." Sounds of Johnny�s writing as he talked came through the phone. "If I schedule you in mid-January that should be good? Any particular area of LA I need to try for?"
"Mid-January will be great Johnny, thank you." Chris agreed, happy at being able to work everything around to make it work. "Anywhere close to UCLA would be good. She�s got an apartment by campus."
"Okay, I�ll get it taken care of. What else do you need from me right now?" Johnny asked.
"Talk to legal about keeping the mother�s name out of this and schedule the time in the studio for us and I think we�re good for now." Lance answered after glancing over to see Chris starting to break down in JC�s arms. The stress of having made the decision and telling everyone who needed to know right now was finally over. Chris could finally release some of the tension that had been his companion for the past several weeks. Wanting to join his band mates in comforting Chris, Lance quickly finished up the call with Johnny. The five men lodged close together for the rest of the morning, supporting each other while their lives changed dramatically yet again.
In a blur of appearances and lawyers and planning, the tour passed quickly for Chris. Instead of clubbing and partying, he�d spent the last part of the tour going over legal paperwork and making lists of things he needed to buy for a nursery. All the time spent paid off though. When the five members of NSYNC made their final bow of the concert tour, Chris was secure in the knowledge his only obligations for the next several months were huge amounts of shopping and waiting for his child to arrive.
All the paperwork had been filled out releasing parental rights and protecting the mother�s identity while making sure she�d be provided for while she recovered. With the timing of her due date, she�d have four months to deal with everything that occurred and find a new job before starting back to school in the summer. Just knowing it was all taken care of gave Chris enough peace to move on to other matters, like deciding where he was going to live the majority of his time.
He had a house in Miami where he�d seriously thought about living until the guys mentioned no one he knew lived close by. Gradually, all but Joey had sold their properties in Orlando figuring when they were there they could just get hotel rooms or stay at The Compound. The logical choice, Justin explained was for him to make his primary residence in Los Angeles where JC, Lance and Justin all had houses. It would be simple to find Chris a place close by so he would have the support he needed. Although Chris felt Justin was pushing the bullshit meter a little far, he eventually caved and started looking for a house in the Los Angeles after the tour ended.
Since Chris�s requirements for a place to live where significantly lower then Justin�s, he found a house three days after he began seriously looking. To Justin�s dismay, it wasn�t in the hills by where Justin and JC lived nor was it in Beverly Hills where Lance�s home was. Instead, it was on a stretch of private beach in Malibu and the minute Chris walked through the large rooms with views of the ocean he knew he was home. Even cloudy skies and roaring surf couldn�t detract from the beauty of the simple design of the house.
As soon as the paperwork was finished and the sale had gone through, Chris set about furnishing his home. After Chris nixed Justin�s idea for a ten-thousand-dollar couch, JC was recruited to help Chris shop for the necessary items. Between the two of them and a lot of space on Chris�s credit card, the house was almost completely decorated by Christmas. When Chris stepped onto the plane to fly home to see his mother and sisters for the holidays, the only room still needing to be done was the nursery. JC had assured Chris the mural JC was doing on the nursery walls would be done soon after they both returned from celebrating with their families. Then Chris would be able to buy the furniture needed and unpack the multiple boxes of clothes, toys and baby items they�d all bought in the past several months.
True to his word, on January fifth, JC led Chris into the room he�d been banned from since he�d bought the house. Instead of the plain white walls he�d last seen, Chris was met with a view that seemed to fit better outside the windows than in. JC had turned the room into an ocean filled with characters from Finding Nemo, and Chris finally understood the multiple viewings of the movie he�d been forced to sit through lately.
"When you bought this place, you said it was because the ocean seemed to be calling your name," JC explained nervously. "I figured maybe the baby would feel the same pull. If you hate it, I�ll pay for someone to come in and redo it."
"No, I don�t hate it." Chris said quietly, awed at the room surrounding him. "This is incredible. The details are amazing C."
"Really?" JC�s eyes crinkled with his huge smile. "I did all of it besides the characters freehand. The characters I used a projector because I wanted them to look like the movie."
"It�s perfect." Chris smiled and hugged the man before him. "I don�t know how to thank you. Everyone has been so amazing since I told you all about the baby, but you�ve stepped up more then anyone else, and I want to thank you. I�m not sure what I would�ve done without you listening to my worries and being here for me every step of the way."
"I want to be here. I always have." JC said quietly. "I just wasn�t sure you wanted me to be this close. I mean, I know we�re friends and closer then most people are, but there always seemed to be a barrier between us. You and Justin had this immediate connection and you knew Joey from before NSYNC. Then you and Lance both started businesses so the two of you had that bond. I just wasn�t sure what I had that was wonderful enough to get in."
"You have yourself and that�s incredible enough to get you wherever you want." Chris said, stunned he hadn�t noticed how JC felt before. "I may be reading more into this then what you want, but it�s up to you where you want to go and how much you want. Just keep in mind, I�m not a solo act anymore, I come with obligations."
JC gave Chris one of his mega-watt smiles. "You�re reading what I wanted you to, I just didn�t want to come right out and offer and have you turn me down. I want you Chris, I want to be a part of your life in every way possible. I want to be a major part of your child�s life too, if you�ll let me."
"All you had to do was ask." Chris choked out; dazed at how drastically and wonderfully his life had changed. With a baby on the way and an amazingly sexy and wonderful man wanting to share his life with him, Chris figured life couldn�t get much better.
In entertainment news today, Chris Kirkpatrick of the music group, NSYNC issued a press statement saying he was the father of a baby boy born on February 14th of this year. According to the statement, Mr. Kirkpatrick will have full custody of the child and will reside in his home recently bought in the Malibu, California area. No information on the mother was disclosed. It�s still to be seen how the many young fans of NSYNC will take another of their idols making the jump into fatherhood. Joey Fatone, and his now-wife Kelly, had a little girl Briahanna Joely in 2001. NSYNC is currently said to be in the studio recording what will become their fifth album.
Turning off MTV, JC headed upstairs to deliver a bottle to Chris and two-week old Samuel, who was not so patiently waiting for his meal. Another thirty minutes and JC could curl up around Chris and go back to sleep until Sam woke them up again at five. No MTV report or fan reaction would be able to top that.