They all tried knocking on his door with no success. Justin was the first to notice. He had stopped by to see if Chris wanted to play some hoops. He saw his vehicle in the driveway, but Chris wouldn�t answer the door. JC stopped by next and although he could hear the dogs barking behind the door, Chris never answered. Joey tried knocking for half an hour and threatened to call the cops, but still Chris never appeared. All telephone calls were left unanswered and all they had to comfort them was a message saying he was okay, he just needed some time. Finally, it was left up to Lance.
It had been over a week since anyone had heard from Chris. Beverly had called all of them to see if they had talked or seen her son. Dani had even called saying he wasn�t responding to Fu Man business. Lance had heard all the stories of what had happened when the other guys stopped by, but he was not deterred. He had a secret weapon. Lance had the key to Chris� house, something no one else had. When Chris had moved into his house, he had given Lance a key figuring he was the most responsible. Chris had never locked himself out of the house and so had probably forgotten Lance even had the key, but Lance had not forgotten.
Lance had tried to prepare himself for what would await him when he entered the house. He had all kinds of scenarios running through his head of how Chris was just on some video game marathon or just in a mood where he wouldn�t allow anyone to be around him. Lance was not prepared for the sight of Chris sitting in his living room, unshaven and haggard looking. Photographs surrounded him from what looked like Chris� late teens. Lance wasn�t prepared for the tear stains or the swollen red eyes. He wasn�t prepared for his heart to break at the sight of the man he loved in secret looking devastated and lost.
�Chris?� Lance asked as he knelt down beside his friend. �Chris, man, what happened?�
�He�s gone. He�s gone and no one bothered to tell me for nine months. Nine fucking months!�
�Who�s gone ?�
�He was my best friend before you guys. He helped me learn how to be me and I didn�t know. How could I not know? What kind of person, what kind of friend am I? I didn�t know?� Chris sobbed into Lance�s waiting arms.
�I need a little more information Chris. Who are you talking about?�
�He died in April! April and no one bothered to tell me. He knew he was dying and he had my number and he didn�t call! His mother didn�t think of it until his birthday when she was all alone. She called to tell me nine fucking months after the fact! She had to tell me every fucking detail about how he suffered and there is nothing I can do to go back and comfort him because he is gone without a goodbye or anything. He still had me as a beneficiary on his bank statements but couldn�t tell me he had Cancer and was going to die. God, I am so sorry! I am so sorry KJ! I am so sorry I wasn�t there, I didn�t know. Please forgive me. Forgive me . . . � Chris� voice trailed off as the sobs overtook his body. Lance sat holding Chris in shock. He had pieced together enough of the story to grasp the situation and the many pictures surrounding the pair gave Lance an even greater understanding. The pictures showed a much younger Chris laughing and joking with a short young man with dark brown hair and amazing hazel eyes. Their arms were around each other�s shoulders in many of the pictures. The pictures scanned several years and included what looked like a wedding where Chris was dressed up in a shirt and tie standing next to the man Lance assumed was KJ.
�Chris. Come on man, let�s get you a shower and put you to bed. It looks like you haven�t slept in days.�
�Can�t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see him. He is in pain and he�s asking why I didn�t come say goodbye. I should have known Lance. I should have realized he was sick. We hadn�t talked in a couple of years, but didn�t he know he could count on me? Didn�t he know I would have been there all he had to do was say the word and I would have dropped everything?�
�Chris, maybe he didn�t call because he knew. Maybe he didn�t want you to see him so sick. Maybe he wanted you to remember him as he was before. You had no way of knowing he was sick and he probably wanted it like that. Now you can remember the good times and not have to forget the bad times at the end.�
�Yeah, wonderful philosophy until you consider his Mom called and fucking told me about every little thing he went through. I know about the chemo and the radiation. I know he couldn�t keep food down and his stomach had shrunk so much his body was basically starving to death. I know about the pain he felt, the pain that no drugs could stop. I know it all and I can�t stop it from picking at my sanity. Why did she have to tell me everything when there was nothing I could do? Why?�
�Maybe it was her way of dealing with it all. Maybe she didn�t have anyone else to talk about it with. I don�t know the answers Chris. I wish I could find the words to help you through this, but I don�t know if there are any words. I�m not asking you not to cry, not to mourn. You need to do both Chris. All I am asking is you keep breathing.�
�Lance, I don�t know if I can. It hurts so bad!�
�I know it does. But please, if not for you, do it for me. You remember in �Titanic� where Jack tells Rose if she goes, he goes? Well, what I am telling you is I feel the same. If something happens to you Chris, if you aren�t here anymore, then my life stops having meaning. You are the reason I wake up in the morning. I wake up looking forward to hearing you laugh and seeing your beautiful eyes. So if it is too much work for you to just keep breathing for me, just remember I will be following you real soon. I love you Chris and I am not letting you go.�
�Lance?�
Lance smirks slightly as he blushes, �I guess my timing kind of sucks here. I have wanted to tell you I love you for years Chris. I just couldn�t, I was too afraid you would push me away. You need to know though, I do love you and I will be beside you every step of the way if you�ll just have me.�
�Are you sure man? I am a major mess right now and I don�t know how long until I have my head screwed on as straight as it can get.�
�Every step of the way, I will be beside you. If you need me to hold your hand, I will. If you need me to support you, I will. If you need me to do anything, just ask. This I promise you.�
�Lovely speech until the end. Then it got into the cheesy song lyrics and just went down hill.�
�Deal with it Kirkpatrick. Now are you going to take a shower so I don�t lose my breakfast over the way you smell?�
�If I take a shower do I get a reward?�
�Maybe if you are really good, I�ll consider it.� Lance said smirking and realizing Chris was going to be fine. They both were going to be fine.