Who Am I?
    Nearly everyone would agree that not only do your own life experiences shape you, but the experiences of your ancestors also become, in many ways, a part of you.  Legacies handed down from previous generations play a role in one's life.  In the lives of many people, their ethnic heritage creates a host of positive, negative, and ambivalent feelings within them.  People have come up with theories to explain the way ethnicity plays a role in people's lives.  This is my take on how the implications of some of theories have shaped me.

     The caste theory, according to Aguirre and Turner, authors of
American Ethnicity, is a "...system in which African-Americans were confined to lower socioeconomic positions, denied access to power, prevented from intermarriage, and segregated in their own living space" (29).  African Americans were kept as separate from white society as possible, even to the point that states passed laws against people of different ethnicities marrying each other.  California is included in these states, so my maternal grandparents had to go to Tijuana, Mexico to get married.  My grandpa was African-American and Native American.  Therefore, even though he was also part French, being of non-white descent was enough for White America to exclued him from enjoying some basic human rights.  My grandmother was half Spanish and half Native American.  The social climate of the time, though, cause her to deny her Native American heritage.  It would have put her in a lower social and economic caste.  For all intents and purposes in american society, she was a white woman, which meant she enjoyed all the privileges thereof.  Her marriage to my grandpa was unacceptable, even in her own family.  That side of my family has successfully assimilated into mainstream American culture.  This means that they have dropped or lost all elements of the culture and identity that would mark them as Native Americans.

     Unfortunately, one of the possible "side effects" of assimilation is a certain amound of shame of one's own ethnic heritage.  My grandmother's relatives still do not communicate with us.  My mom has told me that she has seen them from time to time, but even though they see my mom too, they do not acknowledge her.  My grandpa was instrumental in helping my grandmother come to terms with her heritage.  He let her know that there is no shame in being Native American, and at the same tiem, he taught his own children to be proud of who they are.  In turn, my mom has done and is doing the same thing with my three siblings and me.  I am intensely proud of my many ethnicities.  This, in addition to other factors, makes it difficult for me to identify with one ethnic culture over another.

     Therefore, while I cannot (and don't want to) assimilate into the mainstream as my grandmother's relatives have, neither can I "...[maintain] patterns of ethnicity..." within the mainstream culture as pluralistic theories stress (Aguirre and Turner 26).  Pluralism's goal is to reach a society where everyone can celebrate their own cultures
and not be victims of discrimination.  The fact is, I do not have cultural traditions to follow, unless stereotypical American things like hot dogs, hamburgers, and apple pies count.  My education from elementary through high school was in predominantly white private schools.  I did not socialize much outside of my friends from school, most of whom are Caucasians.  At the same time, I do not truly "identify" with white culture, as there are certain obvious limitations to that.  A minority who says she identifies as white will most likely be perceived in one of two ways: (1) as a traitor to her own ethnic group(s), or (2) as an un-accepted wanna-be white.  Most of the white mainstream will not truly accept her as an equal.  There is another option though.  One can be a multi-ethnic American (no hyphens, please) in a culture that has no theory to explain the phenomenon of not identifying with one ethnicity over another.

     So, through a series of time periods when one cultural theory was dominant, such as the caste theory in the 1940s, an individual's identity is shaped.  One time one of my great uncles asked of a little girl in a picture, "Who's that little white girl?"  It was me; but I am not simply "white."  My medical records from when I was hospitalized for pneumonia listed me as an "African-American female"; but I am not just an African-American woman.  Most people cannot figure me out, or they guess my heritage wrong.  I am not Hawaiian.  I am not Portuguese (though I sure get that one a lot).  I am not Asian.  I am a product of a series of effects that ethnic relations and theories had on America.  I am proudly of French Canadian, African, Spanish, and Native American descent.  I am proud to be an American.                
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