| =================================== Fanfic: DEATH BY FANFIC Author: Roxanne de Winter Warnings: possible shonan-ai, cruel deathfic satire, Roxanne's dumb sense of humor Pairings: 1+2 or 2+H rating: PG =================================== >OK, I had this freaky idea after eating too much gefilte fish at my good friend Rick's Chanukah party. Just the other day I'd read a fanfic where Duo had killed himself.... that was the fourth Duo-kill fic that day. Look, when I asked GW authors to kill their characters more often, could they at least be original? Come on, either he slices up his wrists or jumps off a frickin' cliff. And don't even get me started why. It's aleways about Heero, Heero, Heero. It's all so rip-off. When I told this to Rick, he agreed and we joked a lot about the crap most fic authors are delivering nowadays. Then, he jokingly suggested I write a Duo-deathfic. Now, in this harmless joke, I saw a chance to prove my sanity!!!! ....Since everyone says I'm anti-social because I'm not like everyone else, I decided to prove them wrong! Since every author I've heard off (or most anyway) wrote a Duo deathfic, I decided I'm writing one too. I'm writing a Duo-Deathfic, see??? I'm NoRmAl....< =================== Another one bites the dust And another goes Another one goes Another one bites the dust Hey! I'm gonna getchya too Another one bites the dust! -Another One Bites the Dust by the Queens =================== Roxanne: The Queens.... hmm.... maybe it was some other band that sang that? I dunno. Hm. Now.... HERE'S ROXY! Or her fanfic, anyway: DEATH BY FANFIC by Roxanne de Winter Duo wiped a tear from his eye. The once respectable Shinigami was put to shame. All of his hard work to be feared.... wasted on a bunch of idiot cheap- thrill fanfic writers. The first couple of times it was still OK.... Duo didn't mind a death- fic or a sappy fluff fic about him here and there.... nope, not at all. But now, death and fluff fics were EVERYWHERE!!!! It was all too much to bear. Everything was beginning to parody itself.... the reasons he chose to kill himself and the ways he commited suicide became more and more lame. This was too embaressing for the once great Shinigami. He would not kill himself over a girl or boy. Definately, he wouldn't kill himself over his unhappy and Oliver-Twist rip-off childhood. And he definately wouldn't kill himself over a harsh mission. Nopesy daisy. But Duo WOULD kill himself over being humiliated by stupid, no-talent fanfic writers. So, here he was.... standing over a really high cliff.... wiping away a tear, he threw his laptop down the crevice, and pulled out a knife. Then, he sliced his wrist. Nothing happened, because every intelligent person knows you have a very small chance of actually DYING like that. Cursing, Duo pulled out a revolver. As he was about to fire, it turned out it was out of AMMO. Well, phooey. So, he pulled out his last resort.... A plate of Heero's cooking. Since Heero's food was just as bad as ratpoiseon, it would surely work! But first, he had to leave his comrads a NOTE. Well, damn it. He had totally forgotten about that. So he pulled out a recipt from a local resteraunt, which usually gave him long recipts because they usually charged their customers for things they didn't order, and scribbled a note on it that no average person could read. Then, in a totally dramatic fashion that is soooo totally Carrie-ish, Duo took a bite of Heero's over-cooked meatloaf. And, alas, it began to kick in. Duo staggered for a few seconds, then he, like, fainted, and fell of the cliff. As his body rolled down the steep hill, it disturbed some mating rabits, but that's not the point. So, anyway, somehow Heero got word of this, and miraculously found Duo's scribbled message: Cheescake... $14.99 Apple tart...6.99 Foie Gras... 21.99 House Soup... 16.99 Angel Hair... 9.99 Cheescake... 14.99 Apple tart...6.99 Foie Gras... 21.99 House Soup... 16.99 Angel Hair... 9.99 Cheescake... 14.99 Apple tart...6.99 Foie Gras... 21.99 House Soup... 16.99 Angel Hair... 9.99 Total Sum: $100,000,000 Ooops, wrong side. Turning it over, Heero found Duo's REAL message: ~HERO/HILDE~ DON'T LET THE INSANE GUNDAM WING FANGIRLS GET TO YOU.... THEY'RE EEEEVIL. Heero blinked. Duo had spelled his name wrong. Maybe he had meant another guy.... wait, who was this other guy??? THE END >BWAH-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!! OK, that was lame (-_-)< |
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