RELAX NOW

Remember--exercise your mind, or else it will suffer atrophy!
1) The governor wanted to give a small dinner, so he invited only the following guests: his father's brother-in-law, his brother's father-in-law, his father-in-law's brother, and his brother-in-law's father. What is the minimum number of guests that came to dinner? 2) Big Ben, London's largest clock, calls out the time with loud chimes, one for each hour. If it takes Big Ben 3 seconds to chime three times at three o' clock, how long will it take Big Ben to chime six times at six o' clock? 3) A millionaire's brother died and left a million dollars to his only brother. However, this millionaire never received any of the money even though it was legally paid out. How could this happen? 4) Think of an ordinary round clock with Hindu-Arabic numerals on its face. By drawing only two lines on the surface, divide the clock face so that the numbers in each section add up to the same sum.
This is the Official Moron Test. Try to finish within 2 minutes. When you are done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others. Here we go, morons unite! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? 4. How many outs are there in an inning? 5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister? 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last? 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark? 11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh? 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? 13. What was the US President's name in 1960? * NO CHEATING * So, how did you do? (the webmaster have the answers if you are not sure of your answers) 13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good. 10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head. 7-9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average? 4-6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions! 1-3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said? 0 correct......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!
How Dirty is Your Mind? 1.When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? 2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? 3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? 4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard What am I? 5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? 6.I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? 7.If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? 8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? 9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? 10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job.What am I? (some answers can be found at the end of this page)
You have eight gold coins. One of them is fake, and weighs less than the others. With the use of a balance scale and having ONLY TWO attempts on the scale, how can you determine which coin is fake?
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
If you overtake the last person, then what position are you in?

There are 11 Faces in the above picture. Can you find the faces?
There is a man that lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday, he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! WHY?
A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives, the surgeon says "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!" How can this be?
A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, jumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off too but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?
Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of 21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out. Why?
Ms Juan, a first-grade teacher at Paco, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Ben what is your problem?" Ben answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" Ms Juan had had enough. She took Ben to the principal's office. While Ben waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Juan he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Ben was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" . Ben: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Ben: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Juan and tells her, "I think Ben can go to the third-grade." Ms Juan says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Ben both agree. Ms Juan asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Ben, after a moment: "Legs." Ms Juan: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a silly question! Ben replied: "Pockets." Ms Juan: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Ben: "Pants" Ms Juan: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Ben: Coconut The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Ben was taking charge. Ms Juan: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? Ben: Bubblegum Ms Juan: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Ben: Shake hands Ms Juan: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions,okay? Ben: Yep. Ms Juan: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Ben: Tent Ms Juan: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless and bit tense. Ben: Wedding Ring Ms Juan: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Ben: Nose Ms Juan: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Ben: Arrow Ms Juan: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement? Ben: Firetruck The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Ben in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself." (parang ako!- who am I?)