Fanfic: DEATH BY FANFIC
Author: Roxanne de Winter
Warnings: possible shonan-ai,
cruel deathfic satire,
Roxanne's dumb sense
of humor
Pairings: 1+2 or 2+H
rating: PG
===================================
>Looking back at this fic, which I wrote roughly two or more years ago, I think it's a parody fit for fanfiction. Too many authors take themselves too seriously. But with angst, remember this: less is more. Enjoy!<
XOXOXO,
Roxanne
===================
Another one bites
the dust
And another goes
Another one goes
Another one bites
the dust
Hey!
I'm gonna getchya
too
Another one
bites the dust!
-Another One
Bites the Dust
by Queen
===================
DEATH BY FANFIC
by Roxanne de Winter
Duo wiped a tear from his eye.
The once respectable Shinigami was put to shame.
All of his hard work to be feared.... wasted on a bunch of idiot cheap-
thrill fanfic writers.
The first couple of times it was still OK.... Duo didn't mind a death-
fic or a sappy fluff fic about him here and there.... nope, not at all.
But now, death and fluff fics were EVERYWHERE!!!!
It was all too much to bear.
Everything was beginning to parody itself.... the reasons he chose to
kill himself and the ways he commited suicide became more and more
lame. This was too embaressing for the once great Shinigami.
He would not kill himself over a girl or boy.
Definately, he wouldn't kill himself over his unhappy and Oliver-Twist
rip-off childhood.
And he definately wouldn't kill himself over a harsh mission.
Nopesy daisy.
But Duo WOULD kill himself over being humiliated by stupid, no-talent
fanfic writers.
So, here he was.... standing over a really high cliff....
wiping away a tear, he threw his laptop down the crevice, and pulled
out a knife.
Then, he sliced his wrist. Nothing happened, because every intelligent
person knows you have a very small chance of actually DYING like that.
Cursing, Duo pulled out a revolver.
As he was about to fire, it turned out it was out of AMMO.
Well, phooey.
So, he pulled out his last resort....
A plate of Heero's cooking.
Since Heero's food was just as bad as ratpoiseon, it would surely work!
But first, he had to leave his comrads a NOTE.
Well, damn it. He had totally forgotten about that.
So he pulled out a recipt from a local resteraunt, which usually gave
him long recipts because they usually charged their customers for
things they didn't order, and scribbled a note on it that no average
person could read.
Then, in a totally dramatic fashion that is soooo totally Carrie-ish,
Duo took a bite of Heero's over-cooked meatloaf. And, alas, it began to
kick in.
Duo staggered for a few seconds, then he, like, fainted, and fell of
the cliff. As his body rolled down the steep hill, it disturbed some
mating rabits, but that's not the point.
So, anyway, somehow Heero got word of this, and miraculously found
Duo's scribbled message:
Cheescake... $14.99
Apple tart...6.99
Foie Gras... 21.99
House Soup... 16.99
Angel Hair... 9.99
Cheescake... 14.99
Apple tart...6.99
Foie Gras... 21.99
House Soup... 16.99
Angel Hair... 9.99
Cheescake... 14.99
Apple tart...6.99
Foie Gras... 21.99
House Soup... 16.99
Angel Hair... 9.99
Total Sum: $100,000,000
Ooops, wrong side.
Turning it over, Heero found Duo's REAL message:
~HERO/HILDE~
DON'T LET THE INSANE GUNDAM WING FANGIRLS GET TO YOU....
THEY'RE EEEEVIL.
Heero blinked.
Duo had spelled his name wrong.
Maybe he had meant another guy.... wait, who was this other guy???
THE END
>BWAH-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!! OK, that was lame (-_-)<