| The Apprentice |
| My apprentice's name was Hiemlich Spleen His hair was point, his skin was green He was a great helper, always there when I needed him He ways always smiling, never grim Til that one day I built the monster named Jon Hiemlich thought I didn't love him, that he was a pawn So at sunset that night he killed himself By standing and knocking over a shelf But Hiemlich was wrong I loved him very much He was kind to me, not like the Dutch I didn't know who would be my new apprentice with Hiemlich gone I found hundreds that weren't good, none had the right song Until I met the perfect man He was short with no hint of a tan They called him Igor He was very poor So I hired the young fellow And he learned how to play the cello There's not a day that I don't think of Hiemlich So I go to his grave and start to lick Hiemlich if you're out there I'd like to say I pray that you'll come back someday As a bug or any other creature I'd recognize your every feature But until that day this is goodbye Have fun in hell, don't get eaten by the fly |
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