In August of 1999, I joined the 60% of the populace in the divorce category. I should have known; after all, the number one cause of divorce in the United States is marriage.
I admit that I was depressed for quite some time after he moved out at the beginning of April 1998. But I discovered that there is a life for me out there and I am finding out just how nice it is to be single again.
Things I can do without any problems or comments from the now-absent peanut gallery:
Go barefoot in the house
Buy pets for the kids -- Jazz the wonderdog and Issues the dumb mutt
Stay on the computer after 10 p.m.
Find the mail
Get phone messages
Take up extra space on the bed
Sing along with the radio
Cook vegetables with dinner
Butter bread
The dating scene in the 21st century can be a scary place. As I'm not catholic, however, a convent would not be an option. So armed with Trojans and a sense of adventure mixed with apprehension, I sallied forth to meet the eligible men. Boy, was I in for it.
Boyfriend #1
I met H shortly after my ex-husband moved out, and I was still going through my divorce. I actually met him online, which was a new experience for me. I've since discovered that it's become a common occurrence, but at the time, I felt a bit embarrassed about it. We dated for about a year, but I found that I was always doing damage control. H is a sweet guy, but he's extremely opinionated about things, and is not the most tactful person when expressing those opinions. I finally had enough and said that we could be friends, but that I didn't have the energy to deal with everything else.
Boyfriend #2
I met B less than a month after I said farewell to H. We started out going to lunch with each other, as our offices faced each other across the toll road. Within a month I had fallen for him and I thought perhaps I had found "the one". He was smart, funny, kind, great in bed. And, unlike my previous husband, he had a sense of responsibility. Truly this was a match in heaven, right?
Wrong. That sense of responsibility kept him at work for hours past closing. In fact, B had time for everything in his life, but me. So I've moved on. Back into the breach, boys!
Boyfriend #3
I met J a month after things ended with B. (Are you sensing a pattern here?) Like H, we met online, but it was through a dating service. He was a nice guy, had a steady job, but unlike B, was making time for me. Too much time it seemed, at first. I was a bit blown away by his attentiveness and after the lack of contact with B, I was very much enjoying the extra fawning. The sex was decent, and the guy didn't seem to mind staying overnight.
I felt like I was robbing the cradle, though, because he was almost seven years younger than me. At first, it didn't show. But then, as time wore on, it became more and more apparent. A common thought kept going through my mind when I would see him ... "J, grow the f--k up!" Things only lasted three months with him, and I came away knowing that I should stay closer to my own age. Next?
Mr. Right???
Can it be? Boyfriend #2 will soon be husband #2. Strange how life works. After B#3 and I split, I started talking with B#2 again. We've been dating now for about a year and in June of 2002, he asked me to marry him. So, we've set a June 2003 wedding. We'll see if I can put the cynical side of me aside long enough to say "I do."
