| Meeting Safely In RL |
This is one lesson that can not be learned often enough. The net is filled with those that claim to be something or someone. Newsflash...... The only thing Y/you actually know about them is what they tell Y/you. Relying upon what S/someone tells Y/you about themselves, without a variety of independent confirmation is dangerous.
And in the end, meeting S/someone in RL, either S/someone Y/you had met on line or in RL, is inherently dangerous. The worst that can happen to Y/you on line is that Y/you are called some unpleasant names. The worst that can happen in RL is depicted in the story of Slavemaster. For those of Y/you unfamiliar with Slavemaster, ask around and read the news articles.
For those of Y/you that are considering meeting in RL, there are a series of protocols that HELP to make Y/you safe. They do not ensure it. If Y/you need assistance in preparing a plan to meet safely in RL, I would be pleased to offer My time. Y/your plan should include, but is not limited to, the following:
* Spend time on line with the I/individual Y/you are considering meeting. Know T/them as well as is possible on line before any next step is taken.
* Share Y/your BDSM interests. Talk about them. Know what this person is interested in and look for things that may cause Y/you concern. Exchange BDSM checklists. Make sure Y/your interests are compatible.
* Ask questions of F/friends and A/acquaintences.
* Make sure Y/you have a complete name, address, phone number for home and work, driver's license, automobile description and license, and any other methods of identification.
* Check on the living status of this P/person. Check the address using a reverse phone directory. Check the marital status. Check the employment status and location. If Y/you find ANY inconsistency, run, don't walk.
* Make a criminal background check in T/their current state of residency, and any previous states. This can be done on line, and may cost a few dollars. But a few dollars for Y/your safety and peace of mind is well worth it.
* Meet on Y/your home turf. Meet where Y/you are known and recognized.
* Meet in a public place. Preferably with a friend along.
* Make sure Y/you have given all pertinent information regarding the O/one Y/you are to meet to another friend. That includes a copy of the pic, auto info, license, and itinerary if a plane or train are the mode of transportation.
* Make safe calls at regular intervals to this trusted friend. If you do not check in on time, he/she is to take that information to the police to begin an immediate search.
* NO BDSM activities until Y/you have met as many times as is necessary to truly know and trust this person with Y/your life.
* When the relationship has progressed to the stage in which Y/you desire to scene together, that location is to be known by others, and safe calls arranged from that location.
* Scening should NOT include Bondage, Blindfolding or any other restrictions or sensory deprivation that might place Y/you in danger. That comes later, when Y/you would not only trust this person with Y/your life, but Y/your family's life as well. That's a good standard to use.
* If at any step along the way Y/you see, hear, find, feel ANYTHING that makes Y/you uncomfortable or concerned, stop it right there. It's not worth taking chances.
I'm sure I've neglected to mention a step or two along the way here. And perhaps O/others will be kind enough to add them. D/s is a wonderfully fulfilling lifestyle, and I pray that W/we A/all experience it safely.
Rover
Copyright 2001
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