| #1 - Knowing O/ourselves, Finding O/our O/one |
Sooner or later, Y/you will want to find S/someone that shares Y/your interest in a D/s lifestyle in a romantic way. This can take a variety of forms. Y/you may:
Choose to find S/someone for online, for an online only relationship. This is generally considered a �safe� introduction to the D/s lifestyle. My only caution is that while it may prove physically safe, the emotional dangers of becoming attached to a �player� are just as real. Be careful.
Choose to find S/someone online with the idea of going RL. This is a real crapshoot. Be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs. Despite the fact that Y/you have found a group of people that share Y/your interest in the lifestyle, your chances of finding Y/your O/one are no better or worse than in RL. Imagine walking into a bar, and thinking that Y/you have to choose amongst the regulars there. It�s much the same online. If by chance Y/you do meet S/someone that Y/you wish to meet in RL, do so safely. Read the section on �Meeting Safely in RL�.
Choose to attend some local munches and gatherings in order to meet O/others in Y/your area that are RL. If Y/you choose to do so, I recommend that Y/you go with a F/friend for safety�s sake. Y/you�ll also feel more comfortable. Find some local munches in Y/your area under the �Links To Online Educational Sources� section.
No matter the course Y/you choose, always keep safety foremost in Y/your mind. Now that Y/you�ve decided to take this step, there are several things Y/you need to do in order to prepare Y/yourself. The following sections focus on Y/your preparation and search for Y/your O/one. There�s some work involved, but I strongly recommend that Y/you not cut corners. If it isn�t worth a little effort on Y/your part in order to do it right, maybe it�s just not worth it at all.
O/our search for O/our O/one always begins within O/ourselves. W/we have to know who W/we are, what W/we enjoy, and what O/our needs and desires are. It�s the only way to know what truly makes U/us happy, and then to recognize those qualities when they manifest themselves in that special S/someone.
This takes a little time, and personal introspection. And it can�t be rushed. So though the temptation may be great, don�t leap ahead and skip any steps. It would be the equivalent of preparing for a test on a book, after having only read the final chapter. There�s just too much that happens between the introduction, and conclusion.
Then, having found O/our O/one, this preparation will enable U/us to effectively communicate O/our needs. Remember, Y/your partner is not a mind reader. Y/you have to be prepared to tell T/them what Y/you like and need, both in a relationship and a partner.
W/we�re going to cover two major topics in this section:
The BDSM Checklist
A List Of Expectations
I hope Y/you find it useful and helpful during Y/your search.
Rover
Copyright 2002
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