| How Does D/s Differ From BDSM? |
Author's Note: There are plenty of differing opinions on how or even whether D/s differs from BDSM. It's become vogue in online communities of all sorts to lump D/s into BDSM for several reasons. Most reasonably, because BDSM can't be practiced online with any sense of reality. No one may feel a whip, flogger, quirt or strap online. No one may be bound and gagged online. So it has become fashionable for those with BDSM interests to become shuffled into the D/s crowd. I do believe that a true D/s relationship may be practiced online, for the nature of a Dominant and submissive, and the nature of their relationship, is not predicated upon play. It's what is in their hearts and souls, and their nature, that makes them who and what they are. Not the toys they may or may not use. My personal opinion is that while it may be a necessary adaptation to lump BDSM and D/s together online, it does not portray an accurate picture of what true BDSM and D/s really are. Y/your opinion may differ, and Y/you're welcome to express it. My opinion is no more valid than any other.
How Does D/s Differ From BDSM?
Simply put, D/s is a consensual relationship between a Dominant and submissive that is characterized by a power exchange that flows from the submissive to the Dominant. This relationship tends to be stable, the roles clearly defined and constant, and extends beyond the timeframe of a "scene" to become a lifestyle. Literally, a style of living O/one's life. Most, but not all, D/s relationships include some forms of BDSM activities.
BDSM activities on the other hand, do not require a D/s relationship. In fact, in terms of sheer numbers, BDSM activities are most frequently practiced by "vanillas". The power exchange is limited to the duration of the scene and does not extend beyond it to become a lifestyle. The roles may be less clearly defined, and interchangeable. Rather than using terms such as Dominant and submissive to label the roles, W/we often refer to them as Top and bottom which more clearly reflects the dynamics of their interaction.
Many people enjoy some aspect of BDSM, whether it be light bondage and a spanking, orgasm control, or even a heavy caning. They need not be in a D/s relationship, or even in a relationship at all. A Top need not be Dominant to know how to wield a flogger, and a bottom need not be submissive to enjoy it. After all, tomorrow they may change roles.
So for purposes of clarity, D/s defines a relationship while BDSM refers to activities.
Rover
Copyright 2001
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