Dominant's Owner's Manual, Part 4

Your Dominant's Owner's Manual, Part 4, Your Role In Master's Growth

Of course, just like safety, W/we are A/all ultimately responsible for O/our own personal and lifestyle growth. Both Dominant and submissive. And even though through her submission, a submissive may bestow that responsibility for her growth upon her Master, that is still her choice to do so. And ultimately, it is the submissive that determines whether that responsibility is being met to her satisfaction.

There's no question that W/we grow as individuals by virtue of O/our personal efforts. After all, uncollared submissives and single Dominants grow as well. W/we read and discuss lifestyle issues and incorporate what W/we learn into O/our lives. W/we try to improve upon those personal limitations in O/our lives to become more perfectly the person W/we wish to be. That's growth. And yet, there is a special nature to the growth of both Dominant and submissive when in a D/s relationship.

It comes as no surprise to A/anyone in this lifestyle that Master is responsible for enhancing a submissive's personal and lifestyle growth. That's one of the obligations and responsibilities We Dominants have to Our submissives, and something they rely upon Us for. But I think many submissives don't know how their Masters achieve personal and lifestyle growth, nor the role that they as submissives play in it.

I'm sure most submissives would be surprised to learn that they are the most important factor in their Master's growth, and perhaps a little fearful of the responsibility that may entail. But in understanding their role more completely, I think they can replace that fear of responsibility with pride in their submission, and their contribution to the relationship. Please allow Me to explain.

As a submissive entrusts herself into the care of her Master, He fulfills the role of Teacher and Guide. He imparts upon her His knowledge of the lifestyle, and His knowledge of how to structure and manage her as a person, for their mutual benefit. He manages their relationship, and helps to create the framework for mutual gratification. He becomes responsible for the daily maintenance of her physical, mental and emotional well being. And in doing so He brings her to the level of His ability to Master her.

Now what happens? Does growth end with the arrival of the submissive at the level of competence of her Master? Well, I suppose in some relationships it does. I think that's a sad thing, if and when it happens. But I think that in most healthy relationships, it simply marks a turning point in the nature of how the growth is achieved.

To that point, growth for the submissive is a one-way street, so to speak. Just as submission is a power exchange flowing from submissive to Dominant, growth begins as a knowledge and managerial exchange, flowing from Dominant to submissive. But once that level of competence is reached, such one-way growth isn't possible any longer. The dynamics have to change, in order for continued growth of both submissive and Dominant, or the well is left dry. There's no more to give.

If you picture growth to this point as one following the Other (submissive following Dominant), the next stage of growth becomes a game of leapfrog. With the growth of One leading to the growth of the other, and vice versa. Over and over again, the growth of the submissive necessitates the growth of the Dominant, which in turn leads to further growth of the submissive, and so on. And in relationships that continue to promote the personal and lifestyle growth of both Dominant and submissive, this dynamic will continue for the length of the relationship.

Dominants grow in a relationship in large part due to the challenges posed by Their submissives. As a submissive grows, Master is challenged to grow along with her, or He risks losing her respect. He risks not living up to His responsibility as Master to care for her continued lifestyle and personal growth, and she may well take that responsibility away from Him as a result.

As submissives understand more about the lifestyle, and about themselves, through the growth managed by their Dominants, they ask more questions. they desire to branch out in their lives and accomplish more. they feel more comfortable and confident. they find happiness and pride in their accomplishments and desire more. That's the nature of growth. And in that way, they challenge their Dominants to an ever-greater ability to help them achieve it.

Just as a student in school expects an ever greater level of competence in their teachers as they progress from grade to grade, commensurate with their own ever increasing level of competence and understanding of the subject matter, submissives expect an ever greater level of competence from their Dominants as their level of competence and understanding of themselves and the D/s lifestyle increases. And while a student gets a new teacher each year in order to find that increased level of competence, a submissive rarely wants to continually find a new Dominant in such an ongoing fashion. The continued growth of that Dominant to keep up with a submissive's ever increasing level of competence and understanding would be the equivalent of retaining the same teacher from kindergarten through college and beyond.

Does a submissive knowingly cause their Dominant to achieve such growth? I suppose some do. Especially those that do not feel they are achieving the personal and lifestyle growth they want for themselves. Some submissives may even begin with a greater knowledge and understanding of the lifestyle, and enjoy bringing their Dominant up to the level of their own ability. To be sure, there's nothing wrong with that. But once that level is achieved, the expectation is that the leapfrog dynamics I described earlier will become the norm.

But in general I think that submissives remain unaware of their role in their Master's growth. And that's a shame. Because in further understanding that role, they are better able to play an active part in the leapfrog process of mutual growth. In understanding their role, they are better able to have a personal impact on their own growth. And in understanding their role, they are able take pride in the value of their continued growth and the value it has within the relationship.

There is greater freedom associated with understanding this dynamic as well. In understanding their role in mutual growth, a submissive can feel more liberated in asking questions. More of an active participant in discussions. And have a greater appreciation for the importance of assignments and tasks associated with promoting her own growth and understanding. After all, these things are for her Master's benefit as well. I like to reinforce that concept with My submissive, by sharing with her the fact that she brings out the best of the Master in Me. she makes Me a better person, and a more competent Master.

In closing, as a submissive keep a few things in mind within your own relationships:

� you are ultimately responsible for your personal and lifestyle growth. If you're not satisfied with how it's being managed, it's your right and duty to yourself to say so.

� Everything you do for your personal and lifestyle growth has meaning to your Master, and to His growth as well. you are a full, active participant in the mutual growth of the relationship.

� your active participation through reading, discussions, questions, etc. helps your Master to grow as well. Denying yourself information and understanding also denies your Master the opportunity to grow with you.

� Share what you find and learn with your Master. No O/one knows it all, and He will appreciate your efforts and take pride in your accomplishments.

� Enjoy growing, together. That will help you to grow together. (A little play on words, but read it as many times as is necessary to understand it)

� Take pride in your growth, and in the great impact that has on your Master's growth as well.

Rover

Copyright 2002

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