Dominant's Owner's Manual, Part 3

Your Dominant's Owner's Manual, Part 3, Master As your Mirror

Most of U/us have mirrors in O/our homes for a simple reason. They afford U/us a complete and accurate reflection of O/ourselves so that W/we may see all of O/ourselves, as O/others see U/us. It's a different point of view, a different perspective, than what W/we possess without the mirror. And W/we can see things clearly in a way that is impossible without such a device.

Without a mirror W/we'd never really know if O/our hair was combed right. Or if that blemish is visible. Or if O/our butts look big in those jeans. W/we need the mirror, and the information it provides U/us, in order to make accurate assessments of O/ourselves and to make decisions in O/our lives with the most complete information available. But mirrors don't tell the whole story. They only show the surface. They don't penetrate beneath the skin, to show what's inside of U/us.

As is common with many of My articles, I have to make at least one broad, sweeping generalization. And here's the one for this article. Most submissives are a bit insecure about themselves. submissives need plenty of reassurance from their Dominants, about so many aspects of their lives. Even in the course of punishment or discipline for the purpose of behavior modification, I find reassurance to be the most essential and extensive part of the process. Because submissives are generally too critical of themselves.

As a general rule of thumb, submissives see every mistake as condemnation of themselves. They see mistakes as threats to the continued health and survival of their relationships. They question themselves, their competence, their decision making abilities, their contributions to the relationship, their ability to make their Dominant happy, etc. Even in matters that are not D/s or not pertaining to their relationship with their Dominant, submissives are often insecure. They need the reassurance, the guidance and the comfort of being under the ever watchful eye of their Dominant.

In short, submissives are often highly critical of themselves. And often they find that their perceptions of themselves are not consistent with their Dominant's perceptions of them. In most cases, their Dominant sees them in a much more positive way than they see themselves. Often they dismiss that point of view as being "biased" because their Dominant sees them through loving eyes.

It's funny how nearly E/everyone, including submissives, accept what they see in the mirror as completely accurate (funhouse mirrors aside). And yet submissives routinely question the view of themselves portrayed through the eyes of their Dominant, the only person who's view should really matter.

If your Dominant enjoys seeing you in particular clothing, you don't doubt the truth of that. If your Dominant enjoys seeing you in a particular "position", you don't doubt its accuracy. If your Dominant enjoys seeing you engaged in a particular activity, you don't doubt its veracity. So why is it that submissives routinely doubt the authenticity of their Dominant's view of them as people, and as submissives?

In a word, acceptance. In being highly critical of one's self, it's hard to accept that your Dominant views you in such a positive way. And yet you accept your Dominant's honesty. you accept your Dominant's guidance. you accept your Dominant's truthfulness. you accept that your Dominant knows and understands you better than A/anyone E/else. In fact, I often hear that submissives feel their Dominants know them better than they know themselves.

So if you accept all that, you have to accept that your Dominant sees you for who and what you truly are. you have to accept that you can see yourself accurately through your Dominant's eyes. you have to accept that your Dominant is a clear and precise reflection that you can rely upon, just as you would a mirror.

Acceptance is hard, I don't want to dismiss it as being an easy thing to acquire. But it's certainly no harder than trust. It's no more difficult to attain than honesty. It's not more elusive than submission. And your Dominant has already earned that from you. Why not accept your Dominant as your mirror into yourself?

In summary, you may find a few of these hints helpful in accepting and utilizing your Dominant as a mirror:

Try to understand your Dominant whenever they hold themselves up as a mirror for you. Ask questions if you don't understand how they see you, and why.
Remember that you don't need to please E/everyone, just your Dominant. The only thing that really counts is how your Dominant sees you.
Like a mirror, use your Dominant when you need to see yourself through their eyes. Reassure yourself by seeing your reflection as it truly is.
Accept your Dominant as your mirror. They've earned your trust, and you can trust that the reflection you see is an accurate one.

Rover

Copyright 2002

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