Creating Something From Nothing

Creating Something From Nothing

I'm going to write in a manner that I'm unaccustomed to. It may seem as though I'm getting up on My soapbox, and perhaps I am just a bit. But it's not for any purpose of self glorification. It's a genuine effort to help those that may feel a bit lost in the lifestyle. Or those that are new to it, and may feel a bit overwhelmed.

What I'm about to share is not some proclaimation that is "the" only way to create or live the lifestyle. It's just one of many ways. But I'm sharing it in this manner because I see the same questions asked repetitively, and I realize that even "one" way is better than no way. I hear so many people feeling as though they're operating in a huge void. They've read, discussed and learned much about the lifestyle, but still are uncertain about how to put all that information in a cohesive form that they can live. Thinking about it, learning about it, and talking about it are not the same as living it. And it's that transition to living it that seems to have a lot of people stumped.

Growth within the lifestyle for either Dominants or submissives is a journey. W/we A/all recognize and accept that. But it seems to Me that for many of U/us when W/we're new to the lifestyle, what W/we seek is not merely growth, but a direction in which to grow. W/we seek not simply the journey, but an actual destination. And that can't be found in any articles, or community or website. The only place Y/you'll find the direction Y/you need to grow in, and Y/your destination, is within Y/yourself.

The freedom inherent to the lifestyle is a double edged sword that cuts two ways. It's liberating in that W/we can practice the lifestyle in whatever manner W/we find most personally pleasing, so long as it's Safe, Sane and Consensual. But it's also potentially confusing, because W/we can easily become overwhelmed with all the choices that such freedom implies. It's almost like trying to create something out of nothing.

And while it's generally accepted that the lifestyle is a journey, too often it's forgotten that the journey is, above all else, one of self discovery. Of discovering and knowing those things that W/we enjoy personally, in order to create that something out of nothing. It may seem comforting to think that the discovery has already been made by someone E/else, and W/we can simply read about it and follow their path in life. But the fact is that My path, or A/anyone E/else's path, has no relevence to the path that is right for Y/you. Experiences in O/our lives, and relationships W/we've had, teach U/us precisely that same thing. That the path O/others may want U/us to follow is an expression of their personal preferences, and does not often reflect O/our O/own.

The answers W/we seek will not be found in any of My writings. Nor in Castlerealm. Nor anywhere else other than within O/ourselves. Only Y/you know what it is that Y/you want in life. Only Y/you know who Y/you want to be. Only Y/you know what Y/you find pleasing and fulfilling in a Master or submissive and in a relationship. And only Y/your answers to those questions have any bearing on Y/your life and happiness.

I know that creating something out of nothing is difficult. I've had to do it Myself. W/we A/all do at one point or another. And that's why I've written a three part series on "Knowing O/ourselves, Finding O/our O/one" that can be found in the Library section. It includes the use of a BDSM checklist, and a "List of Expectations". This is more than just some drivel about the lifestyle. This is a framework to help you discover what it is that Y/you want and need in this lifestyle in order to be happy and fulfilled. Those exercises are the framework for aiding Y/you on Y/your journey of self discovery. They don't give Y/you the answers, they just help Y/you find them within Y/yourself and then catalog them in a way that creates something out of nothing.

Reading those articles won't help a bit unless Y/you actually take the time to complete the exercises. It's in the actual exercise itself that Y/you find the answers Y/you're looking for. And all those answers come from within Y/you.

Once Y/you have the answers Y/you've created a model of what it is Y/you're seeking in both a O/one and in a relationship with Y/your O/one. Now Y/you've created something. Now Y/you have something real and complete to work with. And all of it expresses what Y/you want and need to be happy and fulfilled. Now Y/you don't have to rely upon someone E/else to tell Y/you what Y/you need. Because as W/we A/all find out sooner or later, what they are telling U/us is ultimately what THEY need and has no bearing at all on what W/we need.

Do the exercises. Complete them, don't just think about them. Y/you'll find that Y/you're much further ahead than Y/you give Y/yourself credit for. It'll take some work and some time on Y/your part to do them. But if it's not worth that time and effort, what does it say about the value Y/you place on Y/your personal happiness and fulfillment?

Rover

Copyright 2002

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws