Episode 12 - Reclaiming The Past

Premieres April 15th, 2002

Written by: Andy, Bill, Brian, Darkchilde and Marianne

Maria Deluca sat in one of the back booths of the Crashdown, tapping her fingernails nervously on the table top, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Every four seconds or so, her eyes would dart around the buzzing café, looking for her best friend's dark head, and then darting back to the clock, to watch the little red second hand tick around the bright green alien face with alarming slowness. Where the hell was Liz!?

Her foot twitched nervously, tapping against the hard casing of the guitar case that was stowed under bench seat of the booth. She smiled a little bit, reaching down with one hand to lightly tap the case, making sure it was still there. Her smile grew a little bit more, still nervous and unsure, but happy. She'd never even dared to hope she would get to do what she was intending to do in just a few more minutes: give Alex Whitman his guitar back.

After he had.disappeared, not died, he wasn't dead!...his father, unable to look at such a tangible reminder of his son, had given the instrument to her. She remembered cradling the wooden guitar in her hands, tears rolling down her face, remembering all the music she and Alex would never get to create together. And now, by some miracle, they had been given a second chance.

"Maria? Maria Deluca?" A voice broke through her reverie, and the blonde looked up into a pair of wide blues. A girl she recognized from a few of her classes, Zoë something or other, was standing in front of her, her hands nervously folding and unfolding in front of her.

"Yeah, that's me. Um, can I help you?" Maria asked, as the pretty brunette slid into the booth across from her. Zoë chewed on her bottom lip for a minute, reaching up to wind a lock of her dark hair around her index finger for an instant. Finally, she seemed to work up enough courage to ask the question that seemed to be topic of discussion of at ever table and booth in the Crashdown.

Leaning forward, Zoë laid her palms flat on the table, her blue eyes glowing. "Is it true? Is Alex.is he really alive?"

Maria was suddenly at a lost. What was she suppose to say? What was the cover story that they were giving out? Why didn't anyone ever think to fill the people that might actually need to know in on these things?

Because she had to say something, Maria slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah, he's alive."

The words were like music to her ears. She almost wished that someone else would ask her, just so she could say it again. So caught up in her own joy, she almost missed Zoë's soft gasp. When Maria looked back at her, the girl's face was almost glowing, and her eyes were swimming with what looked like unshed tears.

"That is so, so great, Maria. So great." Zoë bit down on her bottom lip again, and looked like she was trying to decide what to say, before continuing. "I mean, I only knew him a little bit...nothing like you or Liz.but.it was...terrible when we thought he had...ya know."

"I know." The blonde concurred, wondering where the brunette was heading with this.

"I mean, I know a lot of people never really." Here, Zoë trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Noticed him?" Maria filled in, and Zoë nodded.

"I did. I noticed him.a lot." The girl's cheeks suddenly burned bright red, and Maria had the realized that she probably hadn't meant to say that. "But that's neither here nor there. I just wanted to...know, I guess, if he was really...back. Have you...have you seen him yet?"

"Not yet. Liz and I are headed over there now, to see him." Maria told her, and Zoë beamed.

"That's great. I really, really, really hope that he's okay." She told them, patting her hands on the table like a little girl waiting for her presents on Christmas morning. A sudden thought occurred to Maria, and her grin turned a bit quirky.

"And..." Zoë took another deep breathe, and let it out slowly, before continuing. "I don't think he'll even remember me, but could you tell him that Zoë Raines from Computer Science sophomore year says hi? And that I hope he's okay, and I hope I get to see him again one day. He was always such a sweetheart. Was pretty damn cute, as well." Again, the girl flushed, looking like she hadn't intended to say that last bit, and stood up. "Okay, that's it, I'm sorry to bother. Bye!"

And then she was gone, leaving Maria in a whirlwind of long brown hair and the realization that Alex's return might mean almost as much to some people outside the alien circle as it did to those within it.

The girl had no time to consider this, however, because suddenly Liz was there, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to foot, and smiling brightly at her friend.

"Ready?" Liz asked, as Maria slid out of the booth, pulling the guitar out after her.

"As I'll ever be." Maria whispered, and the two girls left the crowded café, more then one person's eyes following them.

"Who was that you were talking to, before I came over?" Liz asked, as the girls slid into the Jetta,the guitar stowed safely in the back.

Maria grinned a little bit, and started the car. "Zoë Raines." Liz didn't know who that was, but she didn't ask for further explanation, as her best friend pulled out into traffic, and the two girls headed for Alex's house.

Liz was silent on the way over, and Maria's nerves returned in full force, her hands shaking on the steering wheel as she thought about seeing her long lost friend. Alex. It was almost too good to be true.

"I saw him last night." Liz broke the silence, and Maria almost drove off the road.

"What?!" She settled for shrieking instead, and giving her best friend her best three second glare, before returning her attention to the road.

"He came by. Maria.Maria, he's so scared. He's like.a shadow of himself, now. He's so pale, and he trembled the.the entire time he was.over last night." Liz whispered softly, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "I held him for over two hours, sitting out on my balcony, before we walked back to his house. And then I stood outside his window for another hour, just trying to wrap my head around the idea that he was back. He was alive. I could crawl through the window and touch him, and he would be warm, and solid, and there."

Tears welled up in Maria's eyes, and spilled over, smudging her eyeliner. Sniffing, the girl turned into Alex's driveway, shutting off the engine and checking the rearview mirror, brushing away the traces of her tears with her hand. Clenching her hands into fists, Maria chewed on her bottom lip, the corners of her mouth lifting into a small smile.

Composed, she looked over at her best friend, and smiled, a joyous feeling bubbling up through her, the likes of which she hadn't felt in a long, long time. Liz smiled back, and, still grinning, the two girls climbed out of the car and ran up to the front door.

Her hand trembling slightly, Maria caught the doorknob, and twisted, the door swinging open. Taking a deep breathe, she stepped into the house, Liz trailing at her heels.

Almost like she had some kind of six sense, the bubbly blonde headed toward the living room, knowing without a doubt, that that was where Alex would be.

And she wasn't wrong.

Sitting on the couch, his hands folded between his knees and his head down was Alexander Charles Whitman.

The site of him took her breathe away, and she clapped a hand up over her mouth, trying to hold back the shrieks of joy that threatened to rip out of her at any minute. She could hear Liz breathing hard behind her, and for a minute, all she wanted to do was look at him, drink him in, like she had been dying of thirst, and he was the only thing that could quench that thirst.

"Alex." His name was a whisper on her lips, so soft that she barely heard herself.

His head snapped up, and then his eyes, still the shocking blue that they had always been, focused on her. For a second, all she could do was loose herself in those eyes. And then that second was over, and she threw herself forward at a breakneck speed, throwing her arms around his neck and knocking him flat on his back on the couch. She could hear Liz's muted giggles from the doorway, but they didn't matter right then. All that mattered was that Alex was back.

"ALEX!" She cried, kissing him on both cheeks, and ignoring the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. "ALEX!"

"Maria?" His voice asked into her hair, and she squealed softly into his chest.

"Alex." After a moment, the young woman sat up, and braced her palms flat on his chest, glaring down at Alex with a severe look on her face. "Alexander Whitman, if you ever, and I mean EVER[ leave us again, I will kill you myself."

"Well, I wouldn't want that." Alex smiled weakly, the same ghost of a smile that he had give Liz last night playing on his lips.

Liz, still standing in the doorway, smiled happily, reaching up to tuck a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, and slipping into the hallway, giving Alex and Maria a minute alone. She turned around, and almost ran smack into Charles Whitman, who had just come out of his study.

"Oh!" She jumped, pressing her hand to her heart. "Mr. Whitman.you startled me."

The man smiled softly, his blue eyes twinkling just a little bit. "I'm sorry Liz. Didn't mean to startle you. Come to see Alex?"

"With Maria." Liz answered.

"Ah. So that's what all the screaming was about." Charles smiled again, and Liz broke into a grin. Alex got his sense of humor from his dad, even though it wasn't always evident. Charles suddenly turned serious, and reached out a hand and placed if gently on Liz's shoulder. "Liz. I just wanted to...thank you."

"For what?" She asked, surprised.

"For.not giving up on my son. For believing that he would never.he would never. For knowing him better then I do." It seemed to hurt Mr. Whitman to say those words, but he looked like he thought they needed to be said.

"Mr. Whitman.I.love your son. He's my best friend.I could never believe that he would kill himself."

Charles nodded, looking away for a second, his eyes falling on a photo of Alex that was hanging on the wall.

"It's like a dream." He murmured, half to himself.

Liz nodded in agreement, a small smile on her face.

"A dream come true." She agreed.

"Hey, Liz! Parker! Get your butt back IN here, girl!" Maria called, and Liz and Charles exchanged another smile.

"I'd better go." Liz grinned, and Charles nodded.

"You'd best. Not want to wind up in the wrong side of Hurricane Deluca." Charles chuckled, and, impulsively, Liz reached out and hugged him. Charles hugged her back gently, patting her on the back with his right hand.

The girl pulled away, and slipped into the living room. Charles turned to head back into his study, but before he could reach it, the doorbell rang. Turning, he went to answer it, and was startled to find a woman with loud make-up and bottle blonde hair standing on the other side.

"Charles Whitman? I'm Rita Lane, from Roswell times, and I was wondering if I could have a word with you about your son's miraculous return from the dead?!" She chirped, a tape recorder shoved toward his mouth by one cheaply manicured hand.

"I.well.I'm just very grateful he's home. I.intend to spend as much time with him as possible, and just thank God for returning him to me. Good day." He moved to shut the nosy reporter out, the woman demanding more then that as he did so.

The door firmly shut behind him, Charles spun on his heel and strode toward the telephone, intent on calling Jim Valenti and find out just what in the world he was suppose to be saying to the press.and what had really happened.

~ ~ ~

Isabel sat in the kitchen, exhaustion evident in her features. Anxiety was her closest companion; her unevenly bitten fingernails are a testament to her feelings. Diane walked up to her daughter, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Honey, I know something's wrong. I want to help you. Let me."

"Mom...," Isabel started to explain, but was interrupted by Max, who was about to go to school. Max, noticing the look on Isabel's face and part of why it's there, asked Isabel, "Isabel, what's wrong?"

"Max, why are you going to school today, of all days?" Isabel asked, her voice wavering from shock.

"Would one of you please tell me what's going on? I feel like I'm in a Terry Gilliam movie," asked Diane, extremely confused.

Isabel looked at Diane as she spoke. "Mom, we found out yesterday that Alex wasn't the one who died in the car crash...the sheriff went to Seattle and brought him home..."

Diane looked at them both in shock. "A...alive? But...how? I mean, it's great but...they buried him..."

Max shook his head. "They're still trying to work all that out...Alex's mind is a little muddled after 9 months in a coma..."

Diane nodded her head in understanding. "Of course...of course..." She looked at Isabel who was still looking less than elated. "That's great news, isn't it Honey! I know how much he meant to you. How are you taking the news?"

Isabel sighed as she looked at her mom. That was definitely a loaded question if ever there was one. She had loved Alex. Part of you always will, Isabel. But you had 9 long months to mourn him. To get over him, or try to at least. Thinking back, she hadn't handled things very well, and the fact that she had nothing to remind her of him in her room was a testament to that. But now...he was back in her life, but they were both different. They weren't the same kids who could play the games that they played. They? There was never any 'they' in the games that were played, Isabel. It was always you that played the games. She looked back at her mom. She had no idea what she wanted to do now. Finally, the best answer she could give her mom was to shake her head.

Diane sat down beside her and gave her most reassuring smile. "Have you gone to see him, yet?"

"We...uh, we thought it would be a good idea to let him spend time with his dad...he had a pretty rough few days." Max answered for his sister.

"I'm sure he'll be grateful for some company soon." Diane nodded her head as she looked at her daughter. "I know he would love to see you, Isabel."

Isabel smiled at her mom sadly. "Maybe...I thought we could go see him this morning, even if it's only for 5 minutes. Just to let him know that we're all glad he's back. What about it Max? Can you take the morning off?"

Max looked at her sadly as he awkwardly took a few steps towards her. "Isabel, I'm sorry...I can't this morning. In the afternoon, definitely. Straight before lunch if you want? It's just...Tess is going in today to re-enroll." He looked at her with regret. "I just...I'll be home straight after I check everything went okay."

"Tess? Okay, I'm clearly missing something here." An even more confused Diane looked at Max. "Max, when did Tess come back?"

"Four days ago, mom." Max shot Isabel a contrite look. "She had had a hard time in the past few months and wants to try and make a fresh start."

Diane looked at her son seriously. "Well, I hope she apologised to Jim and Kyle for putting them through it when she ran away without a word, and to you for that matter. You were dating for a while..."

Max nodded his head awkwardly. "She is sorry about all that. As I said, she just wants to try and get thing sorted out..."

Isabel's eyes turned steely. In a calmness not fitting her eyes, she told Max, "Tess would understand you not being there today. Besides, Kyle is [b]always[/b] there to help her out...she can do without you."

Max looked at her apologetically. "Isabel, I promised her yesterday, but I promise I'll come back at lunchtime and we can see Alex then. We can stay all day if you want. I just really need to go in school first..."

"Max, that's ok. I'll go by ...", Isabel started to reply, but was cut off by Diane who was looking at them both sternly.

"Isabel, it would be better if you both went. That way there's no pressure on Alex with dealing with things right away...it'll probably be pretty emotional as well." She smiled at Isabel gently. "It would be better if you went together."

Isabel looked at her mom and nodded her head reluctantly. "Ok, I'll wait."

Max smiled at them both before he looked at his watch. "Okay, I have to go. I'll see you later. Bye."

Isabel looked at him and nodded her head as she answered cooly. "Bye."

Max walked out the front door towards the Jeep. Diane ran out the door, reaching the Jeep just before Max pulled away. "Max, what's really going on?"

Max looked at his mom and shook his head. "Honestly? I have no clue, Mom. I'm just really glad that Tess and Alex are back. I don't want to look for problems."

Diane nodded her head and smiled at her son. They had had so many problems it was nice that suddenly everything seemed fixed. No matter how bizarre it was. "I know, Max...just...just watch out for Isabel. She took things hard when everyone thought Alex was dead. Just make sure she's all right, she's going to be really confused."

Max smiled at her as he turned the ignition key. "Trust me, everything will be ok now. I'll make sure she's ok before we go. It's going to get better now. Everythings going to get better..."

~ ~ ~

Tess looked at her reflection in the mirror. Everything on the outside indicated she was normal. Her skin was paler, her eyes were more sunken and she had lost weight but she didn't look that much different from how she had this time last year. No one would ever be able to tell that she was different if they didn't know her. Same eyes. Same hair. Same height. Same everything apart from what counts...

She pulled the skin back from her eyes and made a face in the mirror. More suitable to look like the monster that everyone thinks you are. She sighed as she allowed her arms to fall to her side. This was not a good idea and she had no idea why she had agreed to it after everything that had happened. "Who needs school anyway? You can get by without it..."

"Don't we all wish that was the case?" Tess turned abruptly to see Kyle looking at her with an amused smile. "But unfortunately 9 out of 10 colleges seem to think it's important..."

Tess sighed as she walked over to the couch. "But is it really necessary to get back as quickly? I mean it isn't like I'll get to graduate with the rest of you anyway..."

Kyle groaned as he sat down beside her. "How many times in the last 24 hours have we had the conversation? So, you might not graduate with us...but you might. You put some extra work in...get some extra credit here and there, maybe even hit summer school and you get to go to college next year. I mean come on...you had pretty good grades before you left..."

Tess shrugged her shoulders before slouching back in the couch. Kyle had a point, she could probably catch up easy enough if she really wanted to. But it just didn't feel right. "It's...it just doesn't feel appropriate...I mean, I'm back all of two days and I'm already back to normal? How do you think that's going to look to Alex?"

Kyle nodded his head as he looked at her and took a deep breath. "It will look like you are getting on with your life. Alex was angry, and scared, and confused and hurt when he saw you and that is completely understandable. But you have nothing to hide for. What are you going to do? Sit in here and torture yourself over something you had no control over?" He turned and looked at her seriously. "You had no control over it, Tess. None. And you can't put your life on hold trying to make up for it." He nudged her playfully as he lay down beside her. "Besides...you're pale enough already without staying in the house for eternity."

Tess smiled involuntarily as she looked at him. "It just feels wrong that Alex thinks he didn't matter to everyone ehile I'm going about getting on with my life. How is it fair that I get all this support when he's sitting in the house probably thinking he was this peripheral thing that could get cut out?"

Kyle groaned as he stood up. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet and guided her over to the mirror again. "Look in the mirror, Tess. Does the face looking back at you say that you got off easilly? Because even if I didn't know what you've been through I could tell that you had been through some shit since you've been gone..."

Tess looked at him unimpressed. "Is that your way of making me feel better? Telling me how awful I look? Your pep talks have definitely deterioated since I was here last..."

Kyle squinted apologetically as he looked at her. "No! I didn't mean you looked bad...god, no. I mean you look good...not as good as you did...but still great. You get a little more colour, a little more sleep..." He shifted uncomfortably as he looked at her with an apologetic smile. "I should probably stop talking now, right?"

"I think that would be for the best..."

Kyle nodded his head as he grabbed his jacket from the couch. "Good idea. So, are you ready?"

"I...I still feel guilty...if I..." Tess took a deep breath as she looked at Kyle desperately. "If I had been stronger it would never have happened. I was too weak and Alex paid for it. He paid because I didn't put the work in to make sure that something like that couldn't happen. He suffered because I was too stupid to realise that what they told me was lies! I may not have been in control when I killed him but...I am to blame." She bit her lip as she turned back to the mirror, her eyes full of tears. "I am to blame. I was weak and stupid and I believed every lie they fed me. He has every right to hate me."

She closed her eyes as Kyle looked at her. She couldn't bear to see his sympathy. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to have him understand. She didn't deserve to feel better.

"Tess..." He took a deep breath as he paused for a second before he continued. "Tess, I can tell you you aren't to blame from now until christmas and mean it each and every time...but, it won't make one bit of difference until you believe it yourself." She felt his warm touch on her arm and shivvered as her skin tingled as there skin touched. She opened her eyes and looked at him in the mirror as he continued. "Everyone needs time to accept what happened. A lot happened in the space of a few days, remember. Everyone will come round...even Alex."

Tess shook her head as she turned to look at him. She felt herself laugh sadly. "No...no he won't. None of them will. It'll never be the same...they will always be worried that it will happen again." She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she whispered to him painfully. "It's not fair...I didn't want any of this to happen. I was happy..."

Kyle looked at her and brought his hand up to the side of her face and used his thumb to wipe the tear off her cheek slowly. He shook his head and smiled reassuringly as he pulled her into an embrace. "Tess...we can't change the past, it's gone. But, you can be happy again...you will be happy again, but it will just take time. I'll be there for you while you get there, so will dad, but you have to let us help you. That means trusting me when I say that you are not to blame. Trust me Tess...I promise it'll be okay eventually. Just give it a little more time."

Tess closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she listened to Kyle's voice. When he said it he made it sound so simple. So simple, achievable and desireable...trust him? She did trust him. She trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone. "I do trust you..."

Kyle smiled as he kissed her forehead as he pulled away. "Good. Because I trust you with my life. And that's even after knowing everything that happened. And you know what else? It wasn't that hard to do because I know you would never do anything to hurt any of us. And if the others can't see that then it's their loss." He smiled at her gently as she wiped her eyes and smiled at him happily. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to do after all?

"Thank you..."

They stood looking at each other for a second before Kyle grinned and looked at his watch. "So, Ms. Harding...in a display of this trust you're showing me, would you care to accompany me to school?"

Tess groaned playfully. "You never give up do you?"

Kyle shook his head as he threw her jacket over to her. "Nope. Never." He opened the door as she slowly walked towards him. "After you..."

~ ~ ~

Alex sat on his bed as Maria and Liz sat on the bed beside him. Maria bounced up and down happily as she talked happily beside him. Alex smiled happily. Maria could still cram in 5 minutes of conversation without taking a breath of air. He's missed that. He's missed a lot of things about her.

"And my mom and Jim have been spending a lot of time together. My mom is like a love struck teenager most of the time...it's bordering on the scary. Sean is...well, Sean is great. I need to try and find him a girl though..."

Alex looked at her confused. "Sean is great? Sean as in Sean...your loser cousin who spent a year in juvie? The one you kept packing his cases for when he first showed up? The one you locked out the house? That Sean?"

Liz looked at Maria disaprovingly. "You packed his cases and locked him out the house?"

Maria blushed slightly as she looked at both of them. "I was looking out for you, Lizzie. I could see him getting his claws into you...besides, he wouldn't take the hint and he was a bit of a loser then...but he's matured after spending quality time in my presence..."

Alex laughed gently as he looked at Maria. "And that matured him? Okay, tell me why you suddenly hold him in such high esteem?"

Maria sighed and looked at him. "He was great about the stuff that happened with my dad. I mean great...when Michael was a jerk and I needed someone he was totally there. Totally."

Alex looked at her sympathetically. "Liz told me about that. I wish I could have been there for you but I was a little busy..."

Maria shook her head as she grinned at Alex. "Don't worry about it! God, that's not even important anymore...anyway, as I was saying...I need a girl for Sean...preferably not one who has her eye on someone else..." She looked at Liz before turning back to Alex. "But we don't hold grudges..."

Liz sighed as she looked at Maria. "I did not have my eye on someone else..."

Maria raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "Uh-huh, sure you didn't...but it's in the past."

Alex smiled and looked at them both as he decided it might be for the best to change the subject. He had clearly missed a lot that would probably not be a good idea to go over when the two of them were together. "So, how is Kyle? I figure he must have took what Tess did pretty hard."

Liz looked at him and sighed. "He was pretty weird for a while. He refused to have anything to do with any of the others...there wasn't a lot of love between him and the three. But it got a lot better...and with his, well...powers. He just freaked."

Alex's eyes widened. "Powers?"

Liz bit her lip nervously as she looked at him. "Yeah, some residue from when an alien uses there powers on you. He was healed by Max and Tess had...well, kinda mindwarped him so he was...he was exposed to it a lot..."

Alex exhaled deeply as he looked at them both. "Tess strikes again, huh?"

Liz looked at him and shook her head. "Well, it would have happened anyway, because Max healed him. Like he healed me...but his must have been augmented a little because he had been exposed as much..."

Alex nodded his head as he sat for a second. So being exposed to alien abilities gave you powers? And the degree of exposure speeds up the change? He bit his lip as he thought. He was exposed for more than 5 months. He looked at his hands, they looked normal. He didn't feel like he had been changed... "Interesting..." He looked at Liz as he continued. "So...does that mean all those kids that Max healed last year will have powers in the future? Or all the people Isabel dreamwalked? Or the people that Tess mindwarped?"

Liz looked at him and thought. She hadn't really considered that. What degree of exposure meant you would change? "Hmm, I...guess...I hadn't really thought about it. I mean, I would figure the kids might because they were exposed to a lot of power, but the others...if they only did it once or twice it might not make a difference..."

"But it might. We could be 40 years down the line and there could thousands of people that have been 'alienized'..." Alex bit his lip again as he stroked his knee as he thought about it. He could appreciate people changing out of being healed, an act of kindness...but if they were changed and not even aware of why, or they hadn't felt any benefits then it was just reckless. They would be ruining peoples lives.

"Earth to planet, Alex?" Alex snapped out of he thoughts as he saw Maria's face looking at him with a mixture of concern and amusement. "Thought we'd lost you there for a second...clearly Liz's sparkling conversation hasn't held your attention." She turned round and winked at Liz as she sat down next to Alex with a grin. "So hit me with some questions..."

Alex smiled as he laughed slightly and nodded his head as he looked at her. "Okay, I will...tell me about Tess. When did she come back? Why does everyone believe she's innocent? Is she the victim? Details people..."

Maria winced slightly as she looked at Alex and then to Liz and then back to Alex. She grinned nervously as she tapped the back of his hand and stood up. "I think I'm going to hand the one over to Liz...I'm really not going to be able to give you an impartial view on the little tramp..."

Liz looked at her and shook her head. "Oh, thanks Maria..."

Maria smiled at her apologetically. "Well, you're better with that kind of thing. Just give him the sciency view...totally sterile. Bare facts..."

Liz sighed as she shook her head and muttered loudly. "In the past 15 minutes I've heard the phrase 'alieny' and now 'sciency'...can we tell this isn't Dawson's Creek?"

Maria took a deep breath as she smiled at Liz. "If it was Dawson's Creek do you think I would have settled for Michael for the past 3 years when there would have been a perfectly good Pacey available?"

Alex looked at them both and groaned loudly. "I don't care how I get it...just fill me in on Tess before we start on the Dawson versus Pacey argument...again. I thought you two would have thrashed this out already?"

Maria gasped as she looked at Alex from beside the window. "Well...if you are going to get grumpy about it...again, we'll save it to when Kyle's here so you two can gang up on us like usual?"

Alex nodded his head with a smile at her. She made it sound like he had never been gone...and he loved her for that. "That sounds much better."

Liz cleared her throat as she turned to Alex. "Okay, Tess."

Alex turned away from Maria and looked seriously at Liz. "Tess. Fill me in...on everything."

Liz took a deep breath. "Okay, basically we found out Tess was responsible for what happened just as the four of them were about to leave earth. The baby she was carrying," Liz seemed to have to force the next words out as though they tasted bitter. "Max's and Tess' baby. They...slept together not long after you died. Things had just got crazy....me and Max were barely talking and him and Isabel were having problems. Um, anyway...yeah, they um...had to leave because the baby was getting killed because of the earths air, so they were using the Granolith to leave. The...the...um, book...you had decoded told them how to do it. Okay, we caught them, that is me, Maria and Kyle before they left and Max was going to kill Tess. But he couldn't hurt his son...the baby hadn't done anything wrong so he let Tess leave on the Granolith."

She took a deep breath as she looked at Alex before she continued. "The granolith crashed though, injuring Tess and killing her baby. She was found by Nicholas, Lonnie and Rath. Max said she looked like she wanted to die...she hadn't even tried to hide herself even though the granolith was laying there exposed for the world to see."

"She should have been killed and saved us all the trouble." Maria said quietly.

Liz shook her head as she looked at Maria disapprovingly. "You can't say that...you don't have to like her but you know what happened..."

"I don't though." Alex said as he looked at her. "Tell me the rest."

Liz nodded her head as she looked at him. "She went to New York, she was persuaded by Nicholas to come here and exact her revenge. But she had only got started when she took ill. That's when Kyle found her. It turned out that in New York when she had been kidnapped they had manipulated her so deeply that she didn't know what was real and what they had made her believe. That's why they made her believe Nasedo had made a deal with the skins..."

Alex looked at Liz confused. "But...Nasedo told us about the skins, and if he was working for them they wouldn't have killed him..."

Liz nodded her head. "Yup, they also made her conceive the heir and decode the book. And, for some reason they also made her believe that she had killed you which evidently wasn't the case, because you're here." She broke out in an inpulsive smile as she looked at him happily. "You're here..."

Alex closed his eyes and sank back on his bed. There was a lot to take in. Tess...used by the little psycho and his clones? Made to believe that Nasedo, of all people was evil? Made to believe she had killed him. Why him? He wasn't that important..."And the likely hood of this story being true is?"

Liz took a deep breath as she looked at him awkwardly. "Max...when Max healed her he saw the visions that collaborated her story. Why would she let us blame her for you dying if she knew you were alive? It...kinda explains a lot. Not that she's blameless...but, she has been used the same as you have. And the fact that you are still alive proves it."

Alex sighs and nods his head. "Okay...I guess I can buy that...if that's the only explanation we've got..."

Maria shook her head as she looked out the window. "Nice one, Liz. Maybe I should have told it if you were going to make it that basic...you make it sound like she's the victim."

Liz sighed as she looked at Maria. "I was just trying to be fair...it's up to Alex to make up his own mind. Not for us to make it up for him."

Maria shrugged her shoulders as she looked out at Alex's driveway to see the sheriff's car. "Fine. Hey, Alex? What's the sheriff doing here?"

Alex shrugged his shoulders as he got up and walked to the window, followed by Liz. "No idea, unless he has found something out. Come on we'll go see."

The three of the walked out the room and headed downstairs. As they got halfway down the stairs Alex stopped as he listened to the sightly raised voices coming from the lounge.

"I'm not blaming anyone! I just want to know how they can believe a boy is dead and have him show up 9 months later in a completely different state? I mean, you all buried someone, think of that poor boys family? They must think he was a runaway or something. How could this have happened? Someone somewhere must know something. How did he get to Seattle? How did his blood get in the car?"

Jim's voice could be heard much calmer than Charles' although he clearly wasn't expecting questions of this sort. "Charles, trust me when I say I will find out how this happened, supposing it takes months, or years. I'll get your answers. We have checked all the missing person records in the state and no one fitting that description has been reported missing in the dates that correspond with the accident. It was just a mistake. We will find out how it happened trust me, but we need time."

Alex turned to Liz and Maria and whispered quietly. "I think that's our cue before my dad makes the sheriff squirm anymore..."

The three of them walked down and into the lounge. Alex looks from Charles to Jim expectantly. "You both don't have to stop on my account."

Charles blushed slightly as he looked at his son. "Sheriff Valenti was just giving me a progress report..."

Alex smiled reassuringly at his dad as Jim spoke. "How are you doing, Alex? I see you two didn't wait very long before you showed up? And on a school day?"

Alex smiled as he looked at Liz and Maria proudly. His best friends had really done him proud. "I think they were just starved for intelligent conversation when I was away..."

Liz and Maria grinned at him as Jim began to laugh happily. It had been a long time since he had seen the two girls look as carefree and happy as they did there as they teased Alex back. He sighed as he remembered that he actually had a job to do.

"Alex, we have a slight problem. Nothing for you to worry about, it's just some press are after a story and the boy who came back from the dead is as good as any. Don't worry about it. I'll deal with it."

Alex looked at Jim for a second. There was a lot he had to ask him but it was difficult with his dad there. "Um...dad? Could you do me a favour and get me a drink?"

Charles looked at Alex and nodded his head. "Can I get you ladies anything?"

Liz and Maria shook their heads. "No, no thanks Mr Whitman..."

As Charles disappeared Alex walked over to Jim quickly and whispered quietly. "What should I say? Should I just say I ran away? That it was all some hoax? What?"

In truth none of thos options sounded particulary appealing but he couldn't see any other way to avoid introducing the press into their group. The last thing they needed was to alert the wrong type of attention again. Especially after what happened to Max that last time the wrong people found out. Alex rubbed his chest bone in sympathy as he looked at Jim desperately. "Tell me what to say and I'll say it."

Jim smiled at Alex and put a calming hand on his arm. "Calm down. We can't really talk about this when your dad could walk in at any minute. Give me a minute."

At that moment Charles walked in and handed Alex a glass as he looked at Jim expectantly. "So...can we do anything else for you, Jim?"

Jim looked at Charles. "I think I should maybe talk to Alex alone and fill him in on what he should expect, what kind of questions and to explain all the support he can get. That okay with you Alex?"

Alex nodded his head and looked at Liz and Maria. "Guys...can we continue this later?"

Liz smiled at him and nodded her head as she went over and hugged him gently. "No problem, we should get to school anyway. I'll see you later?"

Alex nodded as she pulled away. "Definately."

Maria walked over to him and hugged him tight. "Give us a call and let us know where we should direct your fanmail...you're never going to have a problem finding a date again. I'll see you tonight..."

Alex smiled as she kissed his cheek before she pulled away. "See you later, Maria."

The two of them left and Alex, Charles and Jim stood in an awkward silence.

"Alex, I'm...going to leave you and Jim alone to talk about this while I go to work and pick up some paper work. Jim, will you stay with Alex until I get back?"

Alex rolled his eyes as he looked at his dad. "Dad, I don't need a babysitter..."

Jim looked at Charles. "Don't worry, I'll stick around as long as I can...you go do whatever you want to do."

Charles looked reluctantly at his son and nodded his head as he walked to the door. "You can reach me on my cell. I love you son...see you later."

Alex smiled at his dad as he left. He had told him he loved him about 20 times since he came back like he was scared that he would disappear again when he blinked. He sighed as he looked at Jim.

"Okay, let's get this over with..."

~ ~ ~

Michael leaned against the locker next to Max's, watching the other boy pull out books and shove them into his book bag. The throng of students rushed passed them, but neither boy took heed of their milling classmates, to occupied by their discussion.

"So, how's Isabel? She okay?" Michael asked, still holding onto his classic rebel pose.

"She's.as well as can be expected. We're both going to see Alex after lunch." Max told him, confused when Michael's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Think that's a good idea, Maxwell?" He asked, and Max shrugged.

"I don't care, Michael. I just want everything to go back to the way it was.before."

Before Michael could respond to this, Tess and Kyle suddenly appeared as if by magic from the crowd of students, Tess studiously ignoring all the strange looks she was getting. They soon reached Michael and Max, Kyle balancing his backpack on one shoulder carefully.

"Tell me Michael, did I grow an extra head? Because everyone is quite fascinated by me all the sudden." Were the first words out of Tess's mouth when they were all in earshot.

Michael lifted on shoulder in a half shrug, smirking. "What were you expecting, Tess? You've been gone for half a year."

"How'd it go?" Max cut in, before Tess could reply. She turned her attention away from the rebellious alien to the other boy, the golden haired girl shrugged.

"They're going to let me come back, but I doubt I'll graduate unless I can make up the grades I missed." Tess told them, her lips pulled into a slight frown.

Max smiled at her as he swung his backpack over his shoulder. "That's great Tess. I'm happy for you. You'll finally be able to get back to your own life now."

Tess nodded in agreement, her eyes flitting over to Kyle. "I'm gonna take off now, okay, Kyle? I'll see you at home."

Kyle smiled brightly at her, nodding. "Take care. See ya soon."

Tess smiled back, and began to force her way through the throng of bodies, making her way toward the exit. As soon as her curly blonde head was out of sight, Kyle looked over at Max and Michael.

"How's Whitman? Any word?" Kyle asked, and Max just shrugged.

"Isabel and I are going to see him later on." He said by way of explanation.

"Oh. I thought I might swing by sometime this evening as well. Thought he might need a dose of testosterone after putting up with Maria and Liz twittering over him for the whole day." Kyle grinned, and Michael rolled his eyes.

Max just smiled, his heart telling him that things were well back on their way to normal.

~ ~ ~

Alex leaned back against the seat of his chair, running his hand over his face. "I think I should have paid more attention to X-Files when Mulder came back from the dead those multiple times. Or watched more of those stupid soaps Maria's always babbling about."

Jim smiled, running his fingers through his hair. "Kinda hard to make up a believable lie about this, isn't it?"

Alex grunted. "Sheriff, the truth isn't even all that plausible."

"Good point."

The two men sat in silence for a second, before Alex spoke again. "Have you...umm...exhumed my...the...grave yet?"

Jim sighed, and rubbed at his eyes, nodding as he did so. "It was empty."

"Empty?!" Alex asked, his voice shocked and strained. "A husk. You buried a husk..." He realized, a second later, sounding more normal.

"Looks that way." Jim agreed. "But.the blood in the car matched yours Alex. You were in the car at some point in time."

"Why?" The young man asked, his voice once again strained.

"I really think we need to talk to the rest of the group before we start trying to tackle that question." Jim told him gently, and Alex nodded his head tersely.

"What are we gonna do about the press?" He asked, his voice still strained. "We can't afford that kind of publicity. If they go digging...they could find stuff out that will bring all different kinds of trouble on us...again."

The Sheriff studied his hands for a minute, before looking back up at Alex. "I think the best way to handle it is to get it all over with as quickly as possible. The media's got the attention span of a gnat-get this over quickly, and it will all blow over much faster."

Alex nodded. "What should I do?"

"I suggest a statement to the press."

The young man blanched at that, but Jim reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay Alex. I promise."

He fidgeted for just a second longer, looking down at his hands as they curled into fists on his knees, and then flattened out. He nodded again, his mouth to dry to speak. "Okay. I'll do it."

~ ~ ~

Touching each wall in turn, Tess "painted" them pink. Keeping the bed and furniture as is, she plopped down on the bed. Looking towards the empty closet, she remembered all the beautiful things that once were in this room, her room. Kyle destroyed all of those mementos. He had every reason to. I don't blame him. I betrayed him. I have to make a new life for myself.

Tears started to fall from her eyes. Realizing that crying over the past and living in it isn't going to do any good, she decided to make amends and move on. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes as she touched her abdomin longingly. This was it, time to move on, time to move out of the past. She stood up and looked at her wall. A blank canvas...just like her future. But first she had to make up for some mistakes, and apologise to some people. But, first things first, she decided as she walked out of the room towards the kitchen. She had some people closer to home that she had to make some things up to. Time to move on.

~ ~ ~

A pile of discarded clothes lay scattered on Isabel's bed. Isabel was listening to the Nelly Furtado cd Serena lent her last week. Usually it was easy for her to pick clothes, but somehow this meeting with Alex made the whole ritual almost impossible. As she looked through the collection of tops and pants and skirts she felt her thoughts guiltilly turn towards Christian. She liked Christian...a lot. He was exactly what she had needed, and he made her feel good about herself. But, it wasn't fair on him to stay with him if all she would be doing is comparing him with Alex. He deserved better than that. I like Christian, but I can't share half of myself with him. Alex knows almost all my darkest secrets, and never once turned away from me, especially when I needed him. It's time to return the favor. I never got a chance to tell him how I felt. Maybe I should, but not until I know the time is right. If it ever will be right.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, beautiful."

"Hi, Christian." She said guiltilly as she sat down on the side of her bed. "What's up?"

Christian's voice echoed through the phone as she waited on his reply. "I'm worried about you. You left suddenly last night and didn't show up for class today. Is everything ok?"

Isabel sighed. "I'm ok. I just needed a day off. I'll get the notes from Serena tonight or tomorrow morning."

"Okay." Christain waited a second before he continued. "How about we get together tomorrow after class? You sound worn out..."

Isabel shook her head as she answered. "I'm not sure about tomorrow, but maybe this weekend. I'll take you out to make up for this."

"Okay, I'll call you soon okay? Bye, Isabel."

"Bye." Pressing end, Isabel resumed her soul searching as she lay down in among her clothes as she closed her eyes and tried to make sense of all the thoughts that were streaming through her head. Was she just settling for Christian? She didn't feel half of what she felt for Alex, but look where that had got them? It had nearly got him killed and had nearly drove her out of her home and out of her mind with guilt.

Knowing I put Alex in danger. It nearly got him killed. Maybe I should be alone, but I can't cut him out of my life. I'm not sure what to do.

Max knocked on her door. "Isabel, I'm home. I'll be waiting downstairs for you. We can go see Alex when you're ready."

i'm sorry i forsake you
i'm sorry that i left you
i'm sorry i did forget you
and i'm sorry that i made myself feel better
by making you feel never good enough
i know you'll shine much brighter than i ever could
maybe that is why i was

chorus:
scared of you (and in everything i do i'm still thinking of you) oh, you
and i know you were scared of me (but every time i tried to love you i just fell through) too

Looking around the room, Isabel tried to find something to remind her of Alex and the unusual relationship they had. Why did I throw everything that reminded me of him away? All I have are my memories.

E desculpa-me
Por me sentir bem com tua dor
Sabes que te adoro
Mas sei que a tua estrela era maior
Do que minha, yeah
muito mais do que minha, yeah
E por isso

chorus:
Eu tenho medo deste amor
(Os dias passo pensando em ti)
Amor
Medo deste amor
(Salva-me porque agora estou caindo)
Amor

scared of you i was
scared of you i was
scared of you
scared of you
scared of you

Tears started falling in torrents. What made me think I could erase him from my life! I need him. I think I always did. I was too scared to open up to him.

After the song ended, she used her powers to hide the fact that she had been crying. Turning her purple blouse crimson, she walked down to the lounge, where Max was sitting on the couch. Walking towards the door, she looked at her brother with almost no emotion at all.

As they walked out to the Jeep, Max felt the air temperature drop about 10 degrees. Isabel imitated a mime until they were safely in the Jeep.

"How was Tess's first day back?"

"She can come back, but can't graduate unless she makes up the semester she missed in summer school. She's a little scared to be back at school." Max said quietly as he looked at her, wondering why she would bring up the subject of Tess.

Isabel nodded her head and looked at Max as he drove. "Do you think Alex will get to go back this year?"

"I think he will if he wants to, Is. He's got a lot to adjust to." He followed the road towards Alex's house and let out a hiss of frustration as he approached. "Dammit!"

Driving down Alex's block, they noticed news crews on the front lawn. Jim appeared to be holding some sort of press conference with Alex standing next to him, allowing Jim to answer any questions. Max drove on down the block while Isabel's eyes locked on Alex.

I had trouble recognizing him. He looks too pale. I want to help him any way I can. I need to.

"Isabel, we're going to the Crashdown for an hour and hopefully the media circus at Alex's will be over and we can go see him."

"Yeah, ok Max." What am I going to say to him?

~ ~ ~

Alex watched quietly as Jim Valenti spoke to the press. After hiding for so long, it was really weird to have to just stand where the photographers could snap pictures of him. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he listened to Jim speak.

Jim raised his voice to be heard. "As you know, Alexander Charles Whitman was reported dead, initially because of an accident. That report was later changed to suicide. However, those reports were in error. Alex Whitman is alive. He was very ill and unable to communicate his identity or his plight for several months. There's obviously been a terrible mistake made. The Sheriff's Office would like to assure you that it is conducting a full and thorough investigation to ensure that nothing like this will ever happen again." He paused, and there was another snapping of flash bulbs. "Please allow Alex to get on with his life in peace. It will take him time to readjust after being so ill, so please do him and his family the courtesy of leaving him alone."

"How did this happen?" a reporter shouted.

"We don't know yet."

"Where was Alex? What hospital?"

"I don't have all the details…"

"Who was buried?"

"I don't have the details on any of this, once we know more I'll give another press conference," Jim said desperately.

One reporter didn't give up. "What does all this say about Sheriff Hanson who was in charge at the time? Do you think this would have happened if you had been Sheriff at this time? And will you be disciplining him now that you are back in charge?"

"I have full confidence in Sheriff Hanson and the mistake does not rest on his shoulders. The problem in the lab is being investigated as well, so we are covering every angle to ensure that it doesn't happen again. Now Alex wants to say a few words, please no questions, and then this is over. As I said before, once we know more I'll let you know."

Alex moved uncertainly to the microphone. Jim smiled reassuringly. Alex took a deep breath, and began. "I'm glad to be able to speak to you… to be alive. As Sheriff Valenti said, I would really appreciate my privacy, I just want to start my life again so I thank you in advance. I want to get on with my life, I want to graduate high school this year with my friends and with…" Alex trailed off as he saw a car go by, saw Isabel staring at him. Alex stared back as he wondered about last year. Was that me? Was the guy who could play hard to get, who actually said no to going to the Prom, was that me? Was the guy who finally said yes?

Jim saw Alex stop talking and stare at the passing car, then off into space once the car was out of sight. He quickly moved forward, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder and leading him away from the press, into his house.

~ ~ ~

Alex sat down at his kitchen table and looked at Valenti. "Well, that could have gone worse."

Jim smiled at him and sighed. "Or better. I just hope they leave you alone. I think they will."

Alex sighed as he drummed his fists against the table. "I need to ask you something."

"Sure." Jim said as he sat down beside him. He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

Alex took a deep breath. "How could people think I committed suicide? How could my friends, people I thought knew me, believe it?"

Jim shook his head. It wasn't easy answering Alex's questions, explaining his failure - his failure, though it hadn't been his job at the time. Hanson hadn't had all the information. "Your grades dropped, your personality changed… you didn't seem suicidal, but there was a definite change. Mostly there was the evidence about the crash. Everything pointed to suicide. Not everyone bought that, especially not Liz."

Alex nodded, trying to accept that it had been rational for others to think of it that way. Intellectually he could understand that, but accepting it emotionally was harder. He'd tried so hard to leave clues, hoping that someone would figure things out in time. "What about…" Alex trailed off as his father came in… "When do you think they'll be gone?"

"They have to wrap up their stories, interview your neighbors, that kind of thing. I'll be back later to make sure they're gone."

"Thanks for taking care of my son," Charles said gratefully as Jim stood up.

"Glad I could help. Now I should let you two do some catching up." Jim nodded to Alex as he left.

"Tough day?" Charles asked his son.

"Yeah," Alex admitted. Really tough." His father nodded sympathetically. "Dad?"

"Yes, Alex?"

Alex hesitated. "Never mind. I just...I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that you thought I was unhappy enough to kill myself and that I love you too. I just...I wish I had told you that before whatever happened...happened. I just wanted to let you know."

~ ~ ~

"Hey girls." Liz and Maria turned to see Kyle approaching. "When did you get here?"

"We came in late," Liz explained.

"How is Alex?"

Liz hesitated. "He's adjusting," she said finally. "It is so wonderful to have him back."

"What did he say?" Kyle pressed. "When can I see him?"

Liz and Maria took turns filling him in. Liz glanced at her watch, they were missing another class, but it didn't really matter. This was so vastly more important.

"How about the four of us do something?" Maria suggested. "I think we should get him involved in the group again, no good for anybody to be moping around alone."

"Sounds great," Kyle agreed. "Maybe give him a day or two to start getting adjusted?"

"Yeah." Liz nodded as she looked towards the approaching figure of Michael.

Maria followed Liz's gaze. "I have to get to class." She turned and quickly walked away.

"Me too, I'll see you later." Kyle added, and followed Maria.

Liz waited alone as Michael walked over. "Hi Michael."

Michael looked after Maria. "Hi Liz. How's Alex doing?"

"Good, considering. You should go see him."

"Once things calm down. He'll want to spend time with his family first, and you and Maria and Isabel."

Liz nodded. "You really should though. Sometime soon."

"How's Maria doing?"

"She's okay, Michael, but this will take time."

Michael nodded, searching for something else to say. "She left something at my apartment she probably wants back. She can stop by and pick it up anytime."

"I'll tell her. I can pick it up for her if she won't go over." Liz could tell Michael wanted Maria to come by and pick it up partly so he could talk to her, but she didn't think Maria was ready yet. "I should get to class."

"Bye Liz."

"Bye." She walked to class, leaving Michael standing in the middle of the school hallway, alone.

~ ~ ~

Max pulled to a stop outside Alex's house, waiting for Isabel to get out first. She didn't move. "Isabel? Are you okay?"

Isabel turned in surprise. "As if you care."

"You're my sister. Of course I care. I want you to be happy."

Isabel looked at him and shook her head as she spoke softly. "But are you my brother?"

Max looked at him in surprise. "What? Of course I am."

"Then act like it!" Isabel demanded. "Stop acting like my King. I need my brother back, Max. I've needed my brother for a long time now and he hasn't been there...not all the time. I see flashes of how things used to be but we always seem to be fighting over something..."

"I'm trying. I'm here now. As your brother."

"Now? Alex is alive after all, that isn't going to be easy to deal with. His death was a lot harder, Max where were you then?"

"I needed to be strong for everyone...Liz was shutting me away, you wouldn't even listen to anything I said...everything I did was wrong because I was the one that did it." Max looked away for a minute. "I can't change the past. What I did, or didn't do. I'm trying to make things better now."

"By siding with Tess?"

"She isn't responsible, Isabel. You know that. You saw, not the same way that I did, but we both saw inside her. This isn't about sides."

"You're right," Isabel admitted reluctantly. "She isn't responsible. But I don't think I can ever trust her again."

Max looked at her reassuringly. "I don't ask you to. Just try to give her space."

Isabel nodded. "I don't want her around Alex."

"I can't make that decision for her, the same way you can't make that decision for Alex."

"I don't want her near him!" Isabel exclaimed vehemently. "Just ask her to stay away from him. Please. I can't forgive her, I can't trust her. I'll do my best to accept she isn't responsible if she'll do that."

"I'll talk to her," Max promised. "Are we okay now? Me and you?"

"We will be." Isabel took a deep breath and composed herself, then nodded to Max. They got out of the car together and walked towards Alex's house.

~ ~ ~

Alex was almost relieved when the doorbell rang. He began to stand up.

"I'll get it," his father volunteered. "It might be a reporter or somebody." Charles walked to the door, quickly opening it as he saw whom it was. "Isabel, Max, please come in."

Isabel barely waited for the invitation, she headed across the room hugged Alex as soon as he stood up. Barely seconds after they had made contact Alex pulled away and took a step back from her. Isabel looked at him, confused. She had held him, touched him, she finally really knew that he was alive, but why wasn't he holding her in his arms? She saw her hurt mirrored on his face.

"How are you?" Max asked, trying to bridge the silence between Alex and Isabel.

"I'm pretty good, thanks." Alex said as he shook Max's hand. "Better than I was yesterday. I probably owe you an apology..."

Max shook his head and cut Alex off. "Forget about it, it was totally understandable."

Alex didn't respond right away. "Lets go up to my room to talk." He glanced at his father.

"Go on, talk to your friends."

"Thanks." Alex led the way upstairs to his stark, near-empty room. Alex turned as they all entered. "Close the door." Max reached back and did as Alex had asked. "I need to know about what happened while I was… gone," Alex said before either of the others could speak. His face grew grimmer. "I've heard Liz and Maria's take on the situation...but I would like to know yours as well. How could you have let Tess leave when you thought she'd murdered me?"

Isabel flinched at the outrage in Alex's tone, but Max answered calmly. "She was pregnant with my son, Alex. We couldn't kill her… we had no way to hold her prisoner, and if we had the atmosphere would have killed my son…" Max's explanation was cut off by the ringing of his phone. "Dammit. Excuse me."

Alex turned to Isabel as Max left. "Will you answer my questions?" Maybe it would work better this way, one on one.

"I'll do my best." Isabel answered reluctantly.

Alex nodded, hesitated. It was harder for him to confront Isabel than it had been to focus his anger on Max, but he needed to know even more in her case. "Isabel, how could you… why did you believe I committed suicide?" He could perhaps accept Valenti believing it. But Isabel?

"I didn't." Alex looked at her in surprise, but Isabel went on. "Michael and I always thought it was an accident. We were stupid, we were wilfully blind. I should have been helping Liz find the murderer, but I couldn't face up to that Alex."

Alex just nodded for her to go on.

"I had to believe it was an accident. If you'd been murdered it would have been our fault for putting you in danger. Worse, it would have been my fault for not protecting you." Isabel looked away, remembering. "Like you would have protected me."

"It isn't your fault," Alex said softly. "But it was wrong for my family and my friends to be allowed to believe I killed myself to save anyones conscience, but..." He took a deep breath as he turned away from her. "That wasn't entirely your fault either. I'm guessing it was a group thing? And even if it wasn't...you aren't to blame. Don't let it get to you...it's done."

"It is my fault." She whispered as she looked at him guiltilly. Of course it was her fault. Hadn't she pushed him away to begin with? If she'd been closer to Alex at the right time, if she'd caught on, none of this would have happened. Isabel changed the subject, not wanting to argue about this with Alex. "I still don't understand what happened with Tess. Everyone tells me she isn't to blame… I can't accept that unless I know how it all happened."

Alex sat down on his bed as he tried to think. He'd asked himself that question over and over again without an answer. Finally he admitted, "I can't remember."

Isabel looked at him with concern. If his memory was damaged… "Maybe I can help you remember. I could have a little look while you were asleep...you wouldn't even know I was there...I could fix the damage?"

Alex looked at her and shook his head. How could she even suggest that to him? What was different between her using her powers on him and Tess using hers? After all that had happened she would ask him that? He took a deep breath as he tried to stop from screaming at her. He looked at her in shock as he spoke slowly, desperately hoping that she would take the hint. "No… I… I can't."

"What's wrong?" Max asked as he returned, shutting the door behind himself as he came in to stand beside Isabel.

Isabel threw her brother a dark look for walking in on them without knocking. "Alex, please. I don't care about the knowledge, I just want to help you. I want to try to fix what was done to you."

"I said no!" Alex's restraint ended as he looked at her in disbelief. "I don't want anyone in my head ever again, can't you understand that?! After what happened you think it's still okay to use your powers when the notion takes you?" He stood up and looked at Max to make sure it was understood he was included in what he had to say next. "You all have to start thinking about the consequences of your actions. You have these powers and you just use them without thinking it through, but what you do affects all of us. Isn't that obvious now? You can kill people...and the next person might not be as lucky. Think about what the hell you are doing and how it will affect us before you do it in future!" Alex stopped and took a deep breath as he saw Isabel's face turn expressionless. He'd upset her, although she was trying to hide it. He felt a pang of guilt as he looked at her. It wasn't just her fault. He looked at her and his voice was gentler as he spoke. "I'm sorry I got angry. I'm not mad at you, Isabel. I know you wouldn't hurt me intentionally… I just can't bear to have anyone tampering with my head. Same with you, Max. I didn't mean to lose it with you...it just...had to be said at one point..."

Max nodded his head in understanding as Isabel looked at Alex and forced herself to smile. "It's okay..."

Max waited, but Isabel and Alex seemed to have run out of things to say. "Can we help you get caught up, Alex?"

"I already talked to Liz and Maria." Alex said as he nervously sat down on the bed and began to bunch the cover up under his hand. "They filled me in on most things..."

Max nodded. Alex was usually easy to talk to. Maybe he just needed time adjusting. Or maybe it was everyone else who needed time adjusting to him being back. "We should let you spend more time with your father."

Isabel seized on the excuse gratefully. "I'll see you soon Alex." She hesitantly stepped forward to hug him, then halted the motion, waving instead and turning to leave.

Alex looked after them as they exited his room and allowed himself to gfroan audibly. That had not went well. He walked quickly out of his room to catch up with Isabel in an attempt to clear the air. He hadn't spent years getting close to her just to ruin it all in a stupid argument, no matter how justified what he said was. He caught up with Isabel in archway of the hall and gently took her arm just above the elbow. "Isabel, wait."

Isabel turned as he let go of her. "Alex?"

"I'm really sorry I got mad at you. I wanted you to know that. And I'm glad you're going to college and making new friends, like Christian. I'm glad you're happy...that means a lot to me." He smiled at her. It seemed important that he said that, that she understood.

Isabel shook her head as she looked at him. "You know about… Alex, what really makes me happy…"

Alex cut her off with a shake of the head and a smile. "It's okay. I'm just glad you're happy."

"I'm happier you're back." Isabel threw her arms around Alex. "I'm so glad you're back."

This time Alex hugged her, holding her instead of pulling away.

They were interrupted by a discreet cough. They let go of each other and turned to see Alex's dad.

"Your brother is waiting in the car. If you're staying longer you should at least let him know."

"I'm just going, Mr Whitman." She smiled at Alex. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon Isabel." Alex smiled back, the smile remaining as he watched Isabel leave.

Charles smiled too as he watched his son. He was coming back, slowly but surely he was coming back to them all. Maybe things actually could go back to normal.

~ ~ ~

Kyle walked towards his house after a long afternoon of practice. He walked to the door and looked slightly confused for a second as the front door was unlocked. His dad usually locked up religiously every day. Kyle felt himself smile as he suddenly remembered as he opened the door. "Tess! I'm home..."

As he walked in the hallway and saw three perfectly placed settings on the table he grinned as he went to the couch and dumped his stuff.

"I'm in the kitchen...two secs..." Tess' voice called back as Kyle walked towards the kitchen...following the aroma of cooking food towards its source.

"Whatever that is that's cooking smells gre..." As he turned the corner, he saw the flurry of blonde hair and the back of a person at the stove. "Okay...that is a different look for you..."

Tess span around and cocked her head to the side and gave a slow smile, showing off a much shorter hair cut on a much happier looking Tess. "Wow...you look great. Different but great..."

Tess smiled thankfully. "Time for a change. Time for a lot of changes. I just can't dwell in the past anymore, Kyle, and I came here for a new beginning, because you're the only family I ever really had, and this place is where I got my first real chance, even if I did mess it up first time around."

"Um..." Kyle took a deep breath as he looked at her slowly and tried to remember that he was about to talk before he got distracted. "You...need any help with dinner?".

"I really don't think I need anything else right now, I kind of have it all covered, thanks anyway, just chill out until it's ready," Tess answered with a smile as she turned away from him.

Kyle, turned to leave, looking rather dejected, and his slump didn't go unnoticed by Tess. "Actually, come back in here Kyle, you can put your many skills to good use."

He walked in and looked at her. "Yeah?"

She grinned as she turned to him and tossed him a dish towel and a brush and pointed to the sink where a large pile of dirty dishes was gathered. "They have your name on them, Buddha boy."

Kyle groaned as he walked over to the sink, a smile almost breaking out on his face despite his less than enthusiastic attitude to the task. He began to wash a pot, and the silence settled in once more. A mischievous idea popped into his head, and without thinking, he dipped his free hand into the sink and flicked a handful of soap bubbles at Tess. They landed gracefully on her blond curls as she gave a little shriek of surprise before tossing some back in his direction.

That was exactly how Jim found them when he walked in fifteen minutes later, both of their clothes now saturated and soapy bubbles everywhere but in the sink. He smiled to himself, glad to see them both enjoying themselves, but felt the need to interrupt to save the kitchen from any further state of disrepair. "Hey kids, what's going on here?" he asked.

Kyle, who had Tess's head locked under his arm, and was dangling a soapy rag above her soaked hair and tickling wherever he could reach without releasing her.

Tess shrieked and giggled wildly, gasping for breaths between 'uncle' pleads that fell on deaf ears.

"Now son, you've got her at a disadvantage, let her go so she can finish whatever it is that is making that delicious smell," Jim said, "but you really didn't have to do all this."

"Thanks Mr. Valenti," Tess said, after she caught her breath and glared at Kyle, "but it was no trouble really, I want to thank you both for being so kind and understanding before, and I'm going to make it to you eventually."

Tess chased them out of the kitchen as she finished with the food, and then joined them at the table.

~ ~ ~

Across town, Liz and Maria sat in an empty booth at the Crashdown, which was emptying out after the dinner rush. They both looked up when the door chime sounded and Max and Isabel came to sit beside them.

"So, did you guys go see Alex?" Liz questioned after a few moments of silence. Both Max and Isabel nodded in response.

"So, yeah," Maria said, unable to come up with the right words to break the deafening silence.

"He's certainly different," Isabel finally volunteered, "much more so than when he left."

"Well what did you expect, I mean considering all that's happened?" Liz said quietly.

"I don't know, I just don't know, I guess I didn't really expect all the pent up hostility and anger towards us, I mean not from him," Isabel trailed off, sniffling.

"Did something happen?" Liz pondered aloud, clearly Isabel was upset, from what she could not imagine.

Max caught Liz's eye and motioned her to the back room to fill her in on things, leaving Isabel and Maria at the table.

When they got to the back room they ran in to Mr. Parker coming out of his office.

"Hey, Max, did you hear about Alex yet?" Jeff asked, seeming almost happy for a change. "It's the best news I've heard in years...I wanted to throw a party but Liz talked me out of it for now. Of course Amy DeLuca has been having the same idea so we might get a chance to welcome him back in properly soon."

"Yes, sir," Max answered with a smile, and then Jeff left the room, leaving Max alone with Liz.

After a few moments of silence, Liz spoke, "So, what exactly happened with Alex?"

"Well, Isabel sort of offered to help Alex get his life back together with the help of her powers, and needless to say he was a little put off by it," Max said.

"Why would Isabel do such a thing?" Liz asked, shocked by her friend's insensitivity. "After what happened?"

"Come on, Liz, she meant the best, although it was a bit tactless," Max countered, sticking up for his sister.

"Well, no wonder he got angry, I mean he does have every right, plus I imagine he's a bit over-sensitive right now," Liz responded, still reeling from Isabel's lack of sensitivity with her best friend.

"Yeah, yeah he does..." Max said as he nodded his head. "How do you feel about him being back?"

"It's like I suddenly got this incredible wish granted. I'm terrified I'm going to wake up and it will all be a lie." Liz grinned, unable to disguise her happiness, "I don't know how to describe it, I guess it just seems like things are falling back into place."

~ ~ ~

Alex sat on his bed, reflecting over recent events, when he heard a knock on his door. He opened the door to find Kyle standing there, with a bag in his hand. "Your, uh, dad let me in," he said, offering an explanation.

"Come on in," Alex said, pleased to see him. Kyle walked over to Alex's bed and sat down on it.

"Hey, think fast," Kyle said as he tossed the bag to Alex, who caught it with surprising ease.

Kyle smiled. "Thought you might want something to liven up the room since it's a bit on the bare side.."

"Thanks." Alex said as he began to open the bag. In the bag was a rolled up poster. He unrolled the picture to find, "A little kid giving the finger?" He gave Kyle a look. "Not that I don't appreciate the gift…but isn't this a little…tacky?"

"Hey, it's the thought that counts," Kyle said with a grin. "Besides, I thought you'd have enough sentimental crap from the girls..."

Alex laughed as he grabbed some tape from a nearby dresser. He put the poster up on an empty wall and admired it. "You know, you're going to get something as equally tacky the next time I come back from the dead."

"Well, hopefully there won't be a next time," Kyle said, hoping that they'd find out whatever happened to his friend. "There's no way I want to be stuck with Guerin and Evans as the only guys in the group...I was feeling the personality getting sucked out of me..."

"Me, too, Kyle, me too. Being dead: not as fun as you'd expect. I mean, I didn't even get to haunt anyone cool," Alex said as he began to arrange some items on his desk.

"How are you feeling, by the way?" Kyle noted that Alex hadn't been talking about that much…not that he blamed Alex for avoiding that particular subject. He'd imagine that what Alex was going through would be like the equivalent of being stuck on a roller coaster ride, after eating too much, for an eternity.

"It's definitely weird. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad sci-fi movie and I don't know the plot. But I'll admit that it's been getting better." The two of them remained silent until Alex chose to break it. "So…what's the deal with Tess? How come she's back again?"

Kyle paused for a minute, deciding what he should tell his friend. "Well, before I start, I should tell you that once I found out what, I kinda turned away from Max, Michael and Isabel. But Tess really had no choice, Alex. I accept it…I know it."

"How can you be so sure?" Alex asked. "She's manipulative. Her whole <I>power</I> is based on her being manipulative."

"So's Isabels if you look at it that way." Kyle said defensively before he looked at Alex and smiled at him reassuringly. "Listen, I'm not one hundred percent sure, Alex. But I believe that she is innocent. That she's telling the truth. And that's good enough for me." Kyle, not wanting to push the subject of Tess on Alex any further, decided to change the subject. "So, what about you, Alex? What are you going to do now? What are your plans for the future?"

"I'm not sure," Alex said with a sigh. "I honestly keep expecting to wake up and find that all this has been one seriously warped dream."

"Oh, you have no idea how long I've wanted that, too." Kyle paused and thought for a minute. "But Alex, instead of living in the past, don't you think you should be thinking about the future? You've got friends and family who want to - who will -- help you."

"That'd be great, obviously," Alex started, "if I could remember what actually happened! I can remember going to your house and then it's nothing,,,"

Kyle put a reassuring hand on Alex's shoulder. "If any of us had the power to travel through or turn back time, you know we'd do that in a second. But until that happens you're going to have to decide what's more important: reliving a life that no longer exists, or taking the second chance that you've been given." Kyle rose and started to walk towards the door. "You could take this as a new starting point: complete with a new attitude and a new mysterious persona that I've been hearing the girls in school talk about all day. Well, until I put them right that is..."

Alex got up and stopped Kyle before he left. "Hey, thanks…for the visit." He thought about something for a second and added, "and the tacky poster."

"No problem. I'll see ya later, we'll do something when you've had more time to get settled." Kyle said as he left.

Alex thought about what Kyle said and made a decision. Relive a life that no longer exists or take the second chance? He grabbed his coat and went to find his dad, suddenly it was clear what he wanted...and that wasn't to reclaim the past.

"Hey, dad, want to go out somewhere?"

"Sure," Charles said, leaving the house with his son.

~ ~ ~

Max sat on his bed and heard a knock at the window. He jumped up and hurried over, expecting Liz but instead finding Tess. He was shocked to see her, but stepped aside to allow her in nonetheless hoping his disapointment wasn't apparent.

"No, I won't be here long enough to come in, and it isn't really appropriate for me to anyway, what with Isabel...so could you just join me out here? It'll only take a second." she asked.

Max nodded and joined her outside. "Was there something you wanted, Tess?"

"I just think we should talk about what happened, that's all," she responded, "Look, I'll start, I'm sorry that I used you, but it wasn't a mind warp, I assure you. I mean, you and I...everything we did was all us...I didn't make you do anything. I may have told you things you wanted to hear, but I never used my powers on you."

"Maybe not, but it certainly was a mistake," Max replied a he looked at her. How did he say this without hurting her? "It should never have happened...it was wrong."

"Yes, I know that now too. I doubt it would have if I hadn't needed the heir...I had accepted that we were never going to happen, but truthfully, I kind of wanted it to be real," Tess said, almost whispering the last part.

Max barely heard the end of her comment, it was almost as if she wanted to leave it unsaid but didn't, and he heard it anyway, so he told her, "Yeah I guess a part of me wanted it to be real too," but quickly continued, before Tess got the wrong impression, "but that part of me was Zan, and I'm not Zan, Tess, I'm Max. The same way you are not Ava, we have to make our own lives."

They talked a little while longer and eventually Tess started to leave. "I have to go. I have someone else to see before it's too late. It was good that we got this out the way. Hopefully we can still be friends..."

Max nodded his head as he smiled at her. "I'd like that. I think that the four of us should get together and talk about this later on," Max called out to her retreating figure.

Tess turned and responded, "Yeah, we probably should, but maybe after things settle down a bit," and she pauses before adding, "see you around, Max," and then left.

~ ~ ~

Across town, Alex and Charles sat outside the Crashdown in the car, while Alex tried to build up the nerve to walk in.

"You know, son, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, in fact, I think you should give it a little more time."

"I'm not doing it for anyone but myself, Dad, I need to do this for me, so that my life can go back to normal as soon as possible," Alex responded.

"Let's go then," Charles said, and the two got out and walked towards the door and into the building.

Everyone in the Crashdown seemed to look up and stare at Alex as he walked over to the counter that Jeff Parker stood behind, Alex received good wishes from several folks as he passed their tables by.

Upon seeing Alex, Jeff immediately stopped what he was doing and walked around the end of the counter, embraced Alex in a hug, and said, "It's good to see you again son, I know we're all glad to have you back."

Liz, Maria, and Michael watched this exchange from the kitchen, and then Jeff turned to them saying, "Was there something you kids wanted?"

Liz and Maria came out and hugged Alex protectively as he takes a seat with his dad at the counter.

Jeff walked to the back room and called Nancy downstairs and Liz hears this and whispers in Alex's ear, "You better be careful now, Alex, I doubt my mom and dad will let you out of their sight now. And if you think they're bad you should see Maria's mom...she's been baking you pies all day...one of each of your favourites."

Just then, Michael walked up and offered his hand to Alex and shared his feelings, "I'm glad you're ok, man, it's good to see you out."

Alex accepts Michael's hand and says, "It's good to see you to, and thanks for looking after Maria most of the time while I was away, I appreciate it...even if you did screw up near the end."

Maria scoffed, thinking the boys talked about her as if she were a puppy, and walked away to serve another table.

Michael shifted uncomfortably and walked back toward the kitchen, telling Alex, "Sure, no problem, but it wasn't all that easy."

~ ~ ~

Diane approached Isabel's door and knocked. She opened the door and poked her head inside. Isabel was staring at a book, not really reading it. Diane saw the book and said, "Stargazing? I didn't know you were taking an astronomy course."

Isabel put the book aside. "Oh, um, I'm not. I borrowed this..."

"How are you feeling, honey?" Diane was very concerned about Isabel at the moment and sat down beside her daughter.

"Fine, mom," Isabel said with a weak smile.

"And how was Alex?"

"Fine, mom," Isabel replied in the same tone of voice that told Diane that things were clearly not 'fine'.

"Honey, I know it's hard…but things are going to be hard for Alex now that he's…adjusting."

Isabel looked at her mother. "I know that, mom. I'm just not sure how to react to him when he's so…closed off." There was a time when Isabel and Alex understood everything about each other. But the contrast now scared her. She looked up at Diane, tears forming in her eyes. "I've dreamed about this happening so many times and now that it's happened I'm not sure how to deal with it."

Diane wrapped her arms around Isabel and gave her a hug. "Honey, I know it's hard and confusing for you…I remember how you took it when you thought Alex was dead. But it must be doubly confusing for him. So all anyone can really do for him is to be there for him when he needs you." Diane smiled and left the room, leaving Isabel to her own thoughts.

~ ~ ~

Alex and his dad returned home from the Crashdown. "I am exhausted," Alex said. He then paused and quickly added, "which is weird, considering that I've been asleep for nine months."

"You just need some sleep. You've had a long day. Other than that, how are you feeling?" Charles asked his only son.

"Good. I had a good time tonight," he said, smiling.

Charles was relieved. When he thought Alex was dead, Charles ran a thousand scenarios through his mind about how his son would turn up magically alive. He didn't care how it happened, but he thanked whatever it was that brought him back.

Charles and Alex walked towards the front steps of the house. As they got closer, Alex noticed a familiar figure sitting on them. Tess.

"Uh, hi…would you like to come in?" Charles asked.

Tess shook her head no then looked at Alex sadly for a minute. "No, thanks…I just need to talk to Alex for a few minutes." Tess realized that this was going to be awkward.

"All right, Alex, I'll be inside if you need anything." Charles said, disappearing into the house.

Alex walked over to Tess. He was about to say something, when…

"Wait…Please let me say everything I have to say. Then you can say whatever it is that you want to say…I don't care if that means you yell at me for an hour or whatever..." Tess pleaded.

Alex thought this over for a minute and then nodded his head.

"Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but it's true." Tess wondered where she would start and if Alex would believe him. "Okay, remember last year when Max and I went to New York? Well, when we went there, Nicholas mindwarped me. He forced me to mindwarp you and make you decode the book. When Nicholas was done with you, he forced me to think that I had killed you. Now, obviously that didn't happen and I'm not sure how you're still alive. But we're all going to find out." She paused and took another deep breath. "I never wanted to hurt you. And I don't expect your forgiveness. But I had to apologize."

"Why me, Tess?" Alex asked. "Why me out of all the people in Roswell High?"

Tess quietly answered, "Because. You were good at computers. They thought that you would get the job done quickly. I'm so sorry."

"I want to accept your apology, Tess," Alex said. "I really do. But I lost nine months of my life because of you!"

"I realize that and accept that. But I've lost a lot more than you." She paused and then continued. "I was used for nearly a year. I lost my baby. My friends. My life as I knew it. I was haunted by the things that I did to only to come back and relive it all. Out of everyone, I know what you're going through. But I really am sorry," she said as she began to walk away.

"Tess, wait." Alex waited for Tess to turn around. She did. "Please…be honest with me. What happened to me after you thought you killed me?"

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I thought I killed you and can't remember anything that would make me think otherwise."

"I need to know," Alex firmly replied.

"I'm sorry," she sincerely exclaimed. "I can't change the past. But if I could, there's a lot that I'd do differently. I'd never have made you go through this. If I can help in any way...tell me. I'll do anything. I'll see you Alex." Tess walked away.

Alex sat down on one of the steps. Is what she's saying really true? She seems sincere. God…I don't know anything anymore. This isn't the world that I left. Everything and everyone is different. Alex paused and remembered what Kyle told him. Even though this is a different world, I'm not going to let it scare me. Alex Whitman is back.

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