Rosie's grandmother belonged to a coffee klatch which Rosie's mother referred to as her 'stitch and bitch' club. Our group worked on the same principle, although we couldn't sew.
"Scott is so cool," giggled one of the girls. "He can burp any time he wants to."
Rosie was not impressed. "I can do that too," she said giving a graphic demonstration.
The girls were not impressed with same-sex burping so they changed the subject.
It's my birthday on Tuesday," said Lisa, handing out invitations. There was no invitation for Rosie or for me. I ignored this snub but Rosie's feathers were ruffled.
"I'm having a birthday party on Tuesday," she announced. "I'm only inviting boys."
They were incredulous. "You're not!" they said.
"Yes, I am," said Rosie. "I pacifically asked my mother."
"Can we come?" they two-timed Lisa and her all-girl party.
"I told you it's boys only," Rosie said and marched me over to the nearest boy's group.
"What do you want?" the boys demanded to know.
"Nothing," said Rosie.
"Go away then," they told her.
We moved to another boy's group but they were so absorbed in a discussion that they didn't notice us.
"That's what babies call it," said one boy.
"Oh, yeah! That's what you think, Scotty.
"Scott was sure of his ground. "It is called a tension," he said.
The other boys spluttered.
"Tension!"
"What's that?"
"It's grundle."
"No, it's plop."
One little boy whispered quietly."My mom calls it bower's moo."
Confusion reigned but all were agreed. It definitely was not called a tension.
Scott tried to explain. "There's a little tension and a big tension.
"Rosie butted in. "What does it mean, Scott?"
"I don't know," said Scott, "but when I was little my mother used to follow me into the bathroom and ask if I wanted a tension."
"Are you sure?" asked Rosie.
Scott was angry. "Yes, I'm sure. What do you call it then?
"Rosie thrust back her shoulders. "I don't call it anything. I don't have to," she explained. "I never have to do anything like that."
"What!"
"My mother says I don't have to," she said daintily. "I guess I'm like the Queen.
"She sounded very convincing. The boys were speechless and Rosie was never one to spoil a good story with the truth.
She smiled as she turned to Scott and asked him, "You wanna hear me burp?"
Copyright Brenda Ross 2002
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