voice

l i f e

For the most part, my life has been pretty normal. Not always easy, but maintainable. The major misconception is that coming from a moral Christian family is having it easy. And I know that without it, I wouldn't be who I am today. But it's been far from easy. I'm sheltered, I'm naive...and there's not much I can do about it. It's going to get harder as I go on in life. Also, I spent a good deal of time feeling like I couldn't measure up to what my parents envisioned me to be. All in all, I've had a good life and I plan on making it even better.

A huge part of my life, as most people know, is worshipping God. It's hard sometimes...because I'm outnumbered. Sure, a lot of people believe in God. But not very many of my peers understand why I do the things I do, or why I am the way I am. It freaks some people out. I don't ever try to shove the gospel down anyone's throat, but I will stand up for what I believe in and not back down for anything. I'll hold true to this for the rest of my life.

Still, I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out who I am. I wonder if people see me as who I really am, or what I make myself out to be. Which could be considered fake, I suppose. I think I put on a front only to protect my heart, which is very fragile. For instance, I am not near as tough as I'd like people to think. I'm a romantic and a gentle-hearted person, through to my very core. You just have to work to see it.

At this point in my life, I'm finally starting to figure things out. I'm starting to know who I am, and what I want to do with my life. And this involves leaving Portland. It doesn't mean I want to shut off communication with everyone I've spent my time with over the years...I just fear that the growing distance will eventually take its toll. But we'll see. I'm still living my life one day at a time.

l o v e

I'll say right now that I've never had romantic love in my life. Which is quite alright, considering the fact that I am only 18 years old. I've had boyfriends...none of which lasted very long. I get scared really easily, because I've been hurt so many times. It's hard for me to trust guys, or anyone for that matter. But I know deep down that I will find that special guy that will allow me to take the time to trust him. He's out there somewhere. I know for a fact that the Lord will bring this man into my life. I don't really have any qualifications for my own reasons, only because I know the Lord's pick is the best one. The one quirky thing that I would like, though, is to read together. Not the same book, I would have my book and he would have his, but we would be sitting next to each other, doing our own thing, but doing it together. I don't know, it's just something I've always wanted.

I love God very deeply. He is the love of my life. A second to Him is my family. My family is always there for me, in everything I do, I don't know what I would be without them. My friends are always there. I can't even express into words how deeply I love all of them.

Perhaps my greatest non-human love is that of music. It is this great escape that I can pleasurably create and enjoy. I listen to music all the time, and I am as we speak. I also sing, play guitar, and piano...and I write songs all the time. I can't describe what music is to my life. That, and writing. Reading and writing are both something I've been doing since I can remember. Writing is one of the only ways I can express who I am and what I'm feeling. I'm a deep thinker, and an artist who takes on many forms.

o t h e r m y s t e r i e s

One of the major things in my life is the mystery of how my mind works. I don't even know, so don't ask me. However, I do have several strong feelings about issues and some quotes that i made up on my free time. Below are a few rants and a few quotes. Enjoy.

Rant Number One: "The Weaker Sex"

Women strive to be treated equal. I've come to the conclusion that this can never happen. Females whine and complain about being viewed differently, but when the moment arises to wear that slinky dress or flip sweet smelling tresses into the face of an unsuspecting and doubtless hormone-driven male to make the slightest advance in life, it kicks into all fragile all the time. Men are scorned for treating women as the weaker sex, yet no one seems to frown upon the manipulation that births from tight shirts and sultry lips. It's not the fault of men that women aren't the same. They're not supposed to be. Women are not a weaker sex if they stick to their guns. Using your body to get ahead is neither noble nor strong. Isn't that what women want...to be the same as men? Then why is an attraction in order to get a job? The term "weaker sex" is derived from women who can't think for themselves. Or women who sit and whine yet still do nothing about what they whine about. Women as a whole are not weaker, simply different. And women can get the same jobs that men have...but with the same process and qualifications. It's not a bad thing that men and women are different; that's how they are attracted to one another and fall in love. So unless we rip out everyone's reproductive organs...differences will remain.

Rant Number Two: "The Word 'Hot'"

Scenario: Someone walks up to you and says, "You're hot."

No. You want to know what's hot? A slab of cooked beef. People don't realize that the word "hot" is completely degrading and materialized. I would much rather spend my time expanding my mind and broadening my horizons than thinning my waistline. And I'd rather be someone worthwhile than something on the menu at Burger King. If some guy tells me I'm pretty...great, wonderful. God did a great job, then. And the match of both of my parents combined is pleasing to the eye. I'd rather, though, that people notice those inner qualities that I've shaped and molded into making myself a better person. I don't need compliments to feed my ego. I don't ever want to be seen as pretty or wonderfully decorated, because that's not all I am. It's not even a part of who I am. I always want to be loved for WHO I am...and not what I look like. I'd like to think that if I were 259 pounds, smelled of rotten tuna, and wore nothing but burlap that the same people would still love me for the same reasons. And until we can realize the beauty that rests within each and every person...I don't know what to make of this shallow world. Looks fade...but the beauty that you possess never dies. Take care of it.

Rant Number Three: "Pop Music"

See the "Anti-Pop" page by clicking here.

QUOTES by Megan Husch

"Tomorrow is a question, yesterday is a statement, today is beautiful. Live it!!"

"Never ask yourself how happy you are. Ask yourself if you're fulfilled. Good times come, and so do bad. But fulfillment is what makes the rollercoaster worthwhile."

"I don't go against the grain simply to go against the grain. I am me. And if that means that someone sitting next to me is wearing the same shirt...then she and I have something to talk about."

"You know you love someone when you can make a list of pro's and con's and the balance doesn't matter."

"Words, thoughts, and ideas make a face beautiful."

"Reality is what the masses create to define normality."

"Reachable goals are restrictions placed upon a limited mind."

"Everyone is a storyteller. They just have to find their story."

"School is hell with fluorescant lighting."

"I'm not a role model! I'm just a chick with a guitar and an overactive imagination!!"