PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
Growth Patterns
Notable physical traits of this stage include the "seeds" of tooth development at around one year and the beginning of a fascinating and recurring "walk-talk-think" cycle. This cycle, in rudimentary form, completes itself during Early Childhood: the child learns to physically walk during the first 2 1/2 years, then talk in sentences from age 2 1/2 to 4, then think with some precision from about age 4.
On a larger scale, this "walk-talk-think" cycle can be seen moving across the entire life span. Early childhood is a "walk" stage, with each subsequent stage representing the next in the sequence: middle childhood is a "talk" stage, and adolescence is a "think" stage. Then the cycle repeats at a higher or more metaphoric level on the life spiral: young adulthood is like learning to "walk," middle adulthood is becoming fluent at "talk," and the elder years are a time to "think." This may become more apparent in further discussions.
Nutrition
Young children are often thought of as "picky" eaters. There may be good reason for this. Perhaps they have a built-in sensitivity that monitors what their bodies can and cannot tolerate. However, sometimes the finicky-ness of young children is just part of a power struggle with parents who have been duped into over-indulgence. Giving a child choices (especially about food) from too early an age can set up a recurring scenario in which the adults end up catering to the whims of one who is too young to know what is really fitting. Give a three-year old unlimited choice for breakfast and you may hear anything from "popcorn" to "chocolate cookies." Then when you try to back up and limit the choice, you have a tantrum on your hands. Why? Because you just gave the child power and then tried to take it away. Better that the wise parent give limited or no choice until there is sufficient understanding of what choosing is all about.
Recently there has been growing concern about food sensitivities in children. Research shows that not all children are equipped to digest all foods. As an example, lacto-sensitivity (observed as an allergy to milk) is much more wide-spread than earlier imagined. This condition is related to the lack of a certain digestive enzyme in the intestinal tract. Many children (especially of black and Latin origin) lack this enzyme. What does this imply? Possibly, it means that we as a nation are giving many of our children a food substance they cannot process and which causes any number of symptoms, ranging from constant colds to poor digestion to the increase of other food allergies. Behavior can also be affected, which means that learning can be affected, too. Parents would be wise to monitor their child's ability to handle foods for several years. It could save them enormous amounts of time, money, frustration, and embarrassment by preventing ill health or school-related disorders.
Another area for consideration (and this applies to teenagers as well) is the
matter of blood sugar. This process is regulated by carbohydrates -- B vitamins
in particular. Enriched white flour does not contain a completely usable
B-complex, so most breads and cold breakfast cereals cannot keep the blood sugar
stable for long (although it is better than going to school on an empty
stomach). When B vitamins are depleted and blood sugar drops, the body goes into
a survival mode: it gives the most nutrients to the lower brain, which regulates
basic metabolism. Thus the upper brain, used for thinking, learning, and
socializing, is relatively starved. This leads to behaviors which are classified
as dull and/or anti-social. Parents who are sensitive to this will insure that
their child has a breakfast and a lunch that will keep blood sugar stable and
brain activity normal all day. This means enforcing a diet rich in whole grains,
fresh vegetables and fruits, and a minimum of substances that will deplete the B
vitamins (namely, sweetened or refined foods).
PSYCHO-SOCIAL & CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
Developmental Urges & Tasks
In the first years of life, the child is compelled to express the spirit of Life with great enthusiasm. Still accommodating and assimilating new information, there are two further behaviors that reflect this urge: absorption and imitation. The child absorbs behaviors (even subtle body language and attitudes) and mimics them as well as possible. Sometimes this leads to "cute" behavior, such as when the child parades around in parents' shoes. Sometimes this leads to behavior that gives parents pride or consternation, depending on how they feel about the reflection being shown. Absorption also relates to attention span, which can be considerable at this time, if the child is allowed to explore objects without distraction or over-guidance.
Erikson divides early childhood into three stages, each with a distinct task, that builds on the previous one. First (Fibonacci 1-3, a "walk" stage) comes the urge or task to develop trust. This is essential for the bonding of the child with the human world, beginning with the parents. Ken Magill, furthering Brazelton's well-known observations, has found evidence that lack of bonding in infancy (due to inconsistent, negligent, or callous childcare) is causing a profound increase in psychopathic or antisocial behavior in our society. This is a topic that is so vital, yet often so neglected, because infants require a consistent care provider in order to "absorb" human patterning.
Jean Liedloff’s continuum approach to infancy may be the most natural way to nurture trust. By carrying the child in-arms for the first months of life, the child continues the bond from the womb, and at the same time absorbs the sights, sounds, and movements of the world from a safe vantage point.
Erikson's next stage (Fibonacci 3-5, a "talk" stage) involves the urge toward
autonomy. This is the time of "do it myself." So much has been absorbed and
assimilated, and now the child wants to prove a certain measure of independence
and ability. The third stage (Fibonacci 5-8, a "think" stage) involves the urge
toward initiative. Play is a major way to process new ideas and experiment with
them. Thinking is not a heavy mental task at this stage; it is more of a
playful, almost dream-like synthesis of ideas, as any primary teacher will tell
you.
Sense Development
Assuming that trust has been established, young children have the impulse to develop the sense of will, which leads to autonomy and initiative. The senses that enable the will to develop include:
- touch, which relates to touching and being touched, the primary learning modality of this stage;
- movement and motion, which relate to large muscle coordination and the sense of using space;
- balance, relating to physical equilibrium, which later will transfer to a sense of mental/emotional equilibrium; and
- the sense of life, which relates to the recognition of one's own animating force as well as that of other forms -- knowing that one is alive and has feelings, and so do other living things. Children learn to "charge" objects with life (such as dolls), and this further enhances the sense of life, which later can transfer to compassion for others.
Learning in and with the elements of nature allows this entire process to be
as effective as possible. In fact, outdoor education is essential at all stages
for effective sense development, because in the open air one finds both the
comfort of nature as well as the perfect natural challenges.
Character Development
As stated on the chart, the character of the child is initially grounded in the character of the parents and the atmosphere they create in the home. In practical terms, this means that the parents are able to maintain a sense of stillness and assurance so that the home is imbued with an air of calm and "all-rightness." Thus the child lives with adults whose words, actions, tone of voice, and overall body language convey the message, "All is well." This is the security that many sense is essential to raise a healthy child. When the parents convey this message, they provide assurance to the child that human facilities are adequate to their purposes and that nothing is ultimately overwhelming. Everything can be handled with grace and ease; nothing can shake the firm foundation that is present.
In early infancy, this message would be best conveyed by keeping the child in constant contact with the mother or caregiver, yet (as Liedloff points out) going about typical adult-centered activity. In this way, the child gets the message that all is well and safe, and at the same time the child learns about the world as it is. This eliminates the artificial and sterile nursery, and it prevents an unrealistic idea that “The world revolves around me.” In time, the child is sated in the need for closeness and trust, and thus has the confidence to explore beyond the mother just as the body is ready for crawling and walking.
This emphasis on atmosphere and adult-centered activity may seem like a call to laissez-faire parenting, but that is not at all what is required. Guidance of young children is a heads-up and hands-on affair, needing constant vigilance and attention. However, if children are to grow up vibrantly, without neuroses, parenting must recognize natural rhythms and seek to give them clear translation. This means that manipulation and imposition (bullying/conning or being bullied/conned) have to give way to loving, sensitive, yet firm attentiveness to what the child's body language is saying and what the child needs.
There is almost universal agreement that character and self-esteem are damaged by criticizing a child. But do we recognize the long-term devastation caused by praise? Parents and teachers who use praise to get a child to behave properly are instilling a sense of dependence on external authority: the child will "perform" correct behavior only with the anticipation of reward or approval. This can lead to any number of character flaws, such as living by concepts and rules ("You should always do it this way.") or manipulativeness ("What will I get for doing this?"). Such character flaws undermine genuine expression. Interestingly, the adults who trap a child in a praise mode become trapped themselves, for the child learns how to use situations to get reward or praise for even the simplest acts.
So what builds character in young children? Criticism will not, for it can tear down self-esteem. Praise will not, for it can create permanent addiction to external approval. Fine character tends to be built on meeting simple, straightforward expectations without reward attached. Children who learn the joy of doing what is expected learn to value their own efforts without needing incentive or approval. This requires adults to give children routines as well as new experiences they can complete successfully. Children love a job or a challenge that is within their reach, and a warm acknowledgement of their contribution or effort is sufficient to let them know they did well and they are appreciated. Pride is best when it is self-induced.
This does not mean that adults cannot show interest or enthusiasm to a child, for that is not the same as praise. Think of a child presenting a drawing. An adult who says "This is good" is praising, and the child learns that drawings have value. Now the child may draw to please others or perhaps shy away from drawing for fear of creating a "bad" picture (which many do in later childhood). Either way, the child is no longer expressing genuine feeling in artwork.
An adult who says "What interesting colors!" or "Tell me about this!" is
placing no value on the art and is not praising. Such statements place value on
the child and on the child's process of creation. In this way the adult is
opening a door to interaction, creativity, and pride, all of which are
character-building.
Educational Approach
Questions and Answers: Our present society encourages children to ask questions, to be curious. Yet there are many parents who become suspicious of this in young children. This is no wonder, since often a small child is not really interested in the answers to all those questions. It seems to just be a way to get the parents' attention and control the situation. Actually, by answering children's questions, we may be doing more than just giving them control. We may be taking away control at the same time!
When we feel obligated to answer every question, we give the child a hidden message: "Knowledge and understanding are outside of yourself. Answers are always external." This can rob the child of a sense of authority and true curiosity, setting up a life-long pattern of being dependent on "experts" and external authority. You can see this in individuals and groups who demand and rely on government or technology to provide answers. This is a far cry from the kind of character revealed by those who know the strength and assurance of their own authority, as exemplified by entrepreneurs and self-starting neighborhood crime-prevention groups -- people who make use of their own resources.
How should questions be handled and when should they be answered? That depends on the nature of the question and circumstance and the age of the child. There can be no formula for this, but the considerations above should give some guidelines. Perhaps before answering a child's questions, it would help for the adult to ask some internal questions: Does the child really need this answer? Is an external answer the best way to handle this? Could the child find out the answer by investigation or observation?
What sensitive parents have discovered is that children who are not provided with answers to many questions come into their adolescence with a sense of authority and inquisitiveness. This is quite different from the typical young person who is often apathetic and argumentative.
Physical Learning: Early Childhood is the time for learning to be at a physical level. This is obvious to one who observes young children, yet often it is forgotten at critical times. At this stage, children relate to people and objects with their senses and their large muscle groups. Parents and educators accept this for the most part, until they see a child do something "antisocial," such as pushing another child or not sharing a toy. Often adults make a big fuss over such instances, seeing in them motives that are unacceptable in grown-up society. However, to a young child, this is just part of physical expression. Trying to make children of this age conform to adult protocol is inconsistent logic. Perhaps not sharing is perfectly natural; perhaps an occasional push or shove is natural. Perhaps by letting children work out many of their physical processes without adult interference is natural as well.
Physical learning can enhance character development at this stage through
learning and performing repetitive actions. When a child knows the proper
procedure for setting a table or cleaning a room, a sense of pride and autonomy
is instilled. Repetitive actions just for fun (such as singing) help build
memory and logic, but when it also means "helping out" the child gains the added
advantage of feeling important within the family. This is not unusual in farm
families and pre-industrial societies, where everyone has a job to do in the
smooth working of the home.
Curriculum: Our society has many day care and preschool facilities. Curriculum varies, as does atmosphere, intent, and instructional practices. In light of the theme of this work, what would a parent look for to complement the sensing and character training begun in the home? First, there would be a recognition of the child's primary learning mode, imitation, and how that requires the adults on staff to exemplify mature behavior. Second, there would be emphasis on physical, active learning, with much time spent on art, music, dance, gymnastics, construction, and repetitive actions. Third, there would be a respect for the child's intuitive abilities and tendencies (without catering to whims). In this way the natural instincts are encouraged.
The fourth area of the curriculum is vital yet so sensitive that it may have
to "stay at home" and be handled only by parents. This is the area of massage.
Children not only need to actively touch their world; they need to be touched as
well. Just as learning to balance one's body has implications for later
learning, so does having one's body massaged relate to later intellectual
development. How? Because the body and mind are part of one system, and when the
young child's body is massaged, the entire thinking mechanism is massaged
through neural stimulation. After all, thinking is not exclusively a brain
activity. When properly trained, the whole body participates in thinking; this
is a basic principle in "special needs" and "right brain" education. Massage can
be a critical aspect of training the body to participate in thinking.
SOCIALIZATION & GUIDANCE PATTERNS
Parenting Patterns
In the first years of a child's life, parents very naturally carry the spirit of Blessing. They feel blessed, and they give blessing to the little one in their care. But blessing is more than a pleasant feeling toward another. It includes the realization of the size of their responsibility and the realization that they must begin to instill a sense of self-responsibility in the child. While the child is so young, this takes the form of discipline. This is not to be confused with irrational punishment or a systematic plan of rewards. Discipline, as the root "disciple" infers, has more to do with teaching by example, naturally expecting the child to follow the course set by the parent, both in physical action and in emotional tone -- accounting for the unique personality of the child, but not letting youthful whims and tantrums turn the parents into slaves. Remembering that children at this stage learn by physical contact, parents can firmly yet calmly give them physical messages that bring them "back in line." Without an atmosphere of anger or shame, parents can let young children know who is in charge, and that unconsciously reassures them that the design and control of the family is intact, and that gives them a sense of safety: "Mommy and Daddy have everything under control -- even me. So I know they can take care of me. If they couldn't control me, how could I trust them to be able to take care of me?"
One of the primary ways in which parents offer blessing and discipline is in their role of "guardian angel." The young child has no real understanding of what information is useful and what is potentially destructive or fear-producing. There is an open heart that accepts everything, which in the world of today is rather dangerous. So it is up to parents to filter the experiences of the child, acting as guardian angels for the subconscious. Later, preschool and primary teachers will join in this, always aware that the child needs training to become his or her own guardian angel.
Another way in which parents can offer blessing and training has to do with respecting the child's intuitive powers. The child will sense something about every person and setting, and that sensing will possibly have a more lasting impact than the events that take place. Parents can be sensitive to this, using their own sense of empathy to "tune in" to the quality of experience going on in the child, then offering protection or explanation as needed.
This can be critical when you consider how often adults put on a "front" in public. A child might sense that what someone says is not really how they feel, and this can be confusing. For instance, parents may tell the child that Uncle Fritz is special, deserving trust and love, but the child senses something about Uncle Fritz that is not wholesome or safe. If parents do not acknowledge this themselves, or insist that the child disregard such feelings, the child is being asked to ignore intuition. Enough of these kinds of episodes might cause the child to "turn off" the intuitive powers and become bland and unimaginative, or to withdraw and become skeptical, fearful, or guilt-ridden.
The best prevention for this is for parents to have clarity of self and in
their relationship. When there are no "hidden agendas" or mixed messages in the
home environment, the child is free to use and develop intuitive powers. This
can lead to psychological strength and assurance of character.
Responsibility
From Foundation through Early Childhood, the parents are the primary care
givers. Even when they send their child to day care or preschool, they are
actually responsible. Why? Because they are responsible for the choice of care
outside the home, but more importantly they are responsible for giving the child
a firm base of attitude and disposition. Remember, the child is basically
mimicking parental response to the world. So even in away-from-home settings,
the child has no real tools for perceiving and acting except for what parents
have instilled. No teacher, doctor, friend, or family member can be relied upon
for supplying authority at these stages. Only parents know whether their
atmosphere and behavior are equipping the child for the world "out there."
Society and Community Involvement
At this time, family and friends can come closer; again, not for advice and counsel, but for support and friendship. Besides being sources of assistance, these individuals will give the child initial glimpses of the range of adult expression. This makes their role crucial, for they provide a safety net for the parents and the child.
At some point day care or preschool may be considered. Sensitive parents will seek out the finest adults and settings possible for this. Again, atmosphere is vital, and it needs to be considered before any other aspect of the facility. It is wise to think of these as support mechanisms for parents, rather than educational settings for raising the child or providing character training. Even the finest preschool can only foster what parents have established already, since the child is still mainly a reflection of that.